Ramit Sethi discusses how couples commonly avoid money conversations, which leads to recurring conflict; he argues that when partners become financially aligned—rather than labeling one another as "spender" or "saver"—they can "row in the same direction," making life more joyful and enabling shared spending on priorities like a nicer home and dining choices.
When partners think about money the way that they usually relate to it is they know something that they disagree about. They try to band aid over it, paper over it until it blows up and then they try to basically extinguish the fire and then they just go back to living life the way they were. And it works. Many of us have parents or relatives that have been fighting the same fight for 50 years but I don't really think that's a joyful way to live with money. I think that when you and your partner, in your case you and your wife are financially aligned then instead of I'm a spender, she's a saver or vice versa, you're both rowing in the same direction and life becomes way more fun. You can live the kind of life you want. You can have a beautiful house, eat at the places you want, spend money in the way you like. That is a really joyful way to use money to live your life.
