Ramit's Brain Trust - Guest: Bo Eason (Trailer)

Hi, I'm Ramit Sethi, and I'm here today with Bo Eason. He's a former NFL safety, and for the last 15 years, he's been a playwright. We're going to talk about what it takes to be the best. We're going to talk about the hard work of practice that most people never talk about. And we're going to talk about what happens when you change from one area of your life to a totally different area. Stay tuned.

Hi, my name is Bo Eason. I'm a former NFL player turned Broadway playwright. And the New York Times actually told me one time that that's the first time they've ever said that sentence. So thanks for having me.

Bo, thanks for being here.

Yeah, you're welcome.

You have one of the most interesting stories of anyone I've met. A former NFL player. You've been a playwright for over 15 years, and I tried to find the commonalities among those things.

You were searching high and low. Yeah.

It's not common at first glance. It's not easy. But it turns out there is a lot of stuff in common. I kind of want to hear how you did it. What does it take to make it to the NFL and then to make it to a playwright on Broadway? So let's kind of get into it today.

Okay. You know, I grew up. I'm the youngest of six kids, so I have four older sisters and then a brother who's a year older than me. And my brother was always, still, to this day, like, the greatest athlete I've ever been around. Right. So he was a first round pick for the New England Patriots. Quarterback. But growing up with him and playing on the same teams with him, he was always in charge. He was always the captain. He was always like this amazing athlete. And my whole life as a kid was trying to keep up with him.

Okay.

In fact, I think that's why I created the dream in the first place, because I saw how talented he was, and I didn't think of myself as talented. You know, I didn't. I thought my one talent was. I was just not gonna quit. That was the one talent that I had. So my dad, even though he was a very, like, simple. He's a cowboy, he's a rancher. Yeah. And he's very simple guy, but he always had his. For one, he never had timelines. Kind of like what you talked about. Bezos, you know, he threw away timelines. All he wanted you to do was get better.

Wow.

And have the best around you so that you can Achieve that. And he didn't care about timelines. He didn't care about, oh, by your senior year, you got to be this. By your junior year, you got to be this. He wasn't like that. He's like, I don't care when it happens, it's going to happen. Yeah.

That's very rare.

Yeah.

To not have timelines. In fact, the question I get, one of the most common questions, how fast will my business become profitable?

Yeah.

And I'm like, you're already asking the wrong question.

Right.

Because underlying that question is I probably have financial difficulties. I need to make money quickly and if it doesn't work, I don't want to waste time.

Right.

So what I'm hearing from you, two things that really stand out. One, the dowel with the coffee. That's hilarious. That is just making do with what you got. It doesn't have to be perfect, but at least it's like kind of moving in the right direction. That's one. And the second thing is being able to think without timelines. I know maybe like 10 people who do that.

Yeah, I know. That's a tough one. And everyone, they come to me and say the same thing that they're coming to you for.

How fast can you get me doing this?

Right. And they usually go, they usually have their built in kind of timeline in their own head where they'll go, hey, I want to be the best safety in the NFL and I'm going to give it two years.

Right. Where'd you come up with that?

Well, where did you get. First of all, you might as well not even start if you got a two year window because it ain't happening in two years. And that goes for business. That goes for anything. Totally. And I go, well, if you want to be the best safety, I'm going to tell you exactly how to do that. Because I've done it, I know how to do it. It's easy. It's pretty simple. It's hard, but it's simple. But it's going to take you 14 years.

What's their reaction on their face when.

You tell them that, oh, I'm not working for 14 years unless it works out. I go, well, it's not going to work out before that, just so you know. So get rid of it. And I'm constantly working on my kids in this same realm because they're growing up in a world that's completely different than the one I did. Completely where everyone's going, million dollars, you're a pop star in one second Because I think, you know, what they're indoctrinated with is all these shows that, like, whether it's Dancing with the Stars or American Idol, all these shows are about choosing somebody to become a star.

Right.

And so I think our kids are growing up waiting to be chosen. And I'm always saying to my kids, we are not waiting to be chosen. We're choosing, choosing ourselves, and then we're running miles until that day happens.

I love that. You know, when I think about, you know, our culture now especially. I agree. Waiting to be chosen to be stars. And also this deceptive before and after. So if you look on Instagram, you have a guy who's 40 pounds overweight. Next picture ripped. Oh, I want that. What kind of supplement do I need to take to look like that? Well, what you don't see is all the work and all this stuff. And I remember I had a friend who just started working out, and he was just doing squats for the first time, and he couldn't get low. He couldn't do this stuff. And I was like, dude, I actually love seeing people squatting for the first time because it's like a little. You don't have your balance and all. It's very. Just beginner. But you can tell if that person sticks with it. It's not rocket science. It will work. It's just a matter of time. So he asked me, how long did it take you to get your form? And I told him, to tell you the truth, it took me about over a year to get the form right. And the look on his face was just like. Like, you could. I'm not gonna. I need to do this in, like, a month. I'm not gonna wait a year. And you can almost. People are very obvious with how they telegraph how much they want something.

Right.

If somebody says, how long did it take you? It took me 14 years.

Cool.

I don't care how long it takes, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, you almost never meet somebody like that, but you know, if you meet them, they're going to be the best. So you leave the NFL.

Yeah.

And you said, I want a way to express myself. I want a platform. I'm moving to New York.

Yep.

So then what?

So I moved to New York, and I was 27. So football careers are, you know, very short. So I was 27, and all I did was get into every performance class that I could possibly get into. So I took all that energy and all that TNT that made me the best over here, and I just put it Into a stage and several stages. And I showed up here in New York. I got into all these acting classes and performance classes and writing classes and theater classes, and improv everything, singing, everything. Because my, my dream was, I just started a new 20 year plan then.

Yeah.

And I said, I want to be the best stage performer in the world in 20 years. So this was at the age of 27, 28, 29, right in there. And everyone in my classes at that time, they were all young, they were 18, 19 year old kids. And I went to them because I was brand new to New York. And I went to them, I go, hey, you guys, check it out. Who's the best stage performer of our time? Who is that? Because I didn't know much about that world. And this was 1990, somewhere around there. Everyone said, oh, well, that's Al Pacino. And I said, cool, okay, where is he? And they're like, well, I don't know, he's Al Pacino. He's probably on a movie set somewhere. And I said, well, I want to talk to him, because if I want that mantle, that's who I'm going to have to talk to. Because the only person who could really teach me how to do it is the one who's holding the mantle. That was my mindset. And so they all said, well, you can't do that. And so I called my agent, my football agent, right? And I said, hey, does anybody know this Al Pacino guy?

Godfather?

Because I need to talk to him. And within about three, four days, I was at Al Pacino's house. Cool. And I said, look, man, I'd like to have what you got. I'd like to be the best stage performer of my time. Can you tell me what to do? And he said, yeah, I can tell you what to do, but you know, that's 15 years. And I go, that's great, because I work great in those kind of timelines. And so he broke it down for about three hours. He broke down who to work with, how to work, how to think about working. And basically what he told me in those three hours, what it comes down to now thinking back, is he said, basically, your butt is going to be on a stage more than any other human being over the next 15 years. If you do that, and if you do it with the intensity that I'm asking you to, then you'll be the top. You'll be at the top. And I did. I worked with the people he said to work with. I just did the miles that he told me. To do. And basically I put myself on a stage and look, I was bad. I mean, you know, at the beginning when you're first learning this, it's horrible.

Yeah.

And it's just nerve wracking. And, you know, coming from a place where I was really well known and great at what I did, to go to the very bottom with 18 year old kids who are like laughing at me going, God, this guy's horrible. He's never gonna make it. Yeah. But I knew I had the time and I just grinded it out and grinded it out. And about 15 years later, I was right here in New York opening a play, like literally a few blocks from here. And I was backstage and I was waiting for the cue music to come up. And I was about to take the stage. Now this was a play that I wrote and I'm the only guy in. You know what I mean? And it's opening in front of the critics in New York and I was about to die. You know, I was about to wet my pants because I was so nervous. And I come running out and I start to perform the play. And it's a one man show. So I'm talking to the audience members as if they're the other characters. And literally 10 minutes into the play and I'm still like shaking. My hands are shaking. I make eye contact with a guy in about the fifth row and he's sitting right on the aisle and I make eye contact and it's Al Pacino. Awesome. Yeah. And I haven't seen him for 15 years. I did everything he said, but I hadn't had any correspondence with him. And all he did when we made eye contact and I'm trying to remember my lines all at the same time, Right. He just goes like this. He had his arms crossed like this. And he's looking at me like this. And he goes like this. Wow.

That's all he had to say.

That's all he did. And that was the best review I ever got.