Ramit Sethi has Brian and Speaker B swap roles in a negotiation about going to a craft brewery. Brian usually resists spending money and making excuses; when they flip, the exercise shows how easily people adopt opposite stances and reveals what they're really protecting: control, money, or just avoiding things.
What was with that comment?
Stop adding things to your list of things to go out and spend money on. I know this was only $6. It was a flight of beer. It was a craft brewery type thing. It was ambiance. It was us talking, connecting one-on-one type of thing. I just cringed. It's not about her. It's about spending the money going out. I don't want the experience. I don't need it. Maybe I don't need the alcohol. Maybe I don't need the extra food. I need to control. And that's what it comes down to. Can we do this?
The exact same conversation, but can we just flip roles?
Mm-hmm. I'm gonna be Brian.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. And I would like for you to have that same conversation as each other. Go ahead. Okay. Yeah.
I can't wait. Tonight we're going out to, um, the Proper Brewing.
I'm not going.
What? We planned on this.
No, nope. I decided I don't want to spend the money.
You know, they have happy hour, 5 to 7, free munchies. They have a band that's coming in.
It's too crowded. I don't need the calories. We have food at home. We've been planning this for months. I know, but money. We don't need the food. We can just stay home. Maybe next week.
That seemed to come very easy to both of you. What did it feel like? It felt great.
It's just excuses, making excuses. There's always excuses.
To me, it felt like, um, bit of a performance. To me, also, when I see you acting as yourselves, it also feels like a performance.
