This Is Holding You Back from Becoming a Multi-Millionaire

We all know someone who makes a lot of money and they spend every last cent. They could double their income and they would still spend everything they make. So what's going on there? Well, it's their money psychology, because how you think about money will determine how you act with money and how you grow your wealth. And today what I want to do is help you reprogram your money psychology so you can become a millionaire. I'm going to break this video down into three parts and if you follow along closely, you will never view money the same way again. Lets get started with part one, how invisible scripts hurt you and your wallet. Invisible scripts are the stories we tell ourselves that become ingrained in our psychology and they even go down our family tree. If you understand how invisible scripts hold you back, it will change your life. For example, I recently spoke with a couple on my podcast who were describing how stressed out they were over paying $79 for brunch, their net worth $2 million, and here they are stressing out over 80 bucks. Their invisible scripts were causing them tons of stress and they were actually living a smaller life than they needed to. What a tragedy. Let me show you what I mean. When I was younger I used to jokingly call myself a skinny Indian guy. And looking back, I wish I hadn't of described myself in that negative way. Yes, I was skinny, but after repeating the phrase over and over it became a self fulfilling prophecy. I was actually saying I'm skinny and there's nothing I can do about it. And when I finally decided to make a change and start learning how to work out properly, it took me a lot more time because I had to change not only my knowledge of nutrition and fitness, but also my identity. And identity is a really hard thing to change. What identity do you have when it comes to money? If it's a negative one, it might be extremely hard to change it. Here's what I wish someone had told me. Being a skinny Indian guy is just a story you're telling yourself. If you want to change that story, start by changing the words you use. With money, it's the same thing. If you're constantly saying things like I'm bad with money, you're probably never going to take the basic steps to to learn about personal finance. Or if you keep saying I need to get my whole money system figured out and get it all lined up before I can start investing, you might not ever start investing because you'll be too worried about being a perfectionist. Over time, negative scripts become more powerful and they trap us and make it hard for us to change. They prevent us from doing the things we love and we end up living a story we told ourself 20 years ago. Here are a few more ways that invisible Scripts can limit you and hold you back from achieving your goals. Invisible scripts keep you thinking small. A lot of people hear you should be happy with what you have. And this makes you believe that if you want more in life, better clothes, a nicer car, longer vacation to tip more, be more generous, that you're not being appreciative of what you have. But that's not true. And believing this holds you back from going after bigger and better things in life. Invisible Scripts hold you back in your career. Have you ever thought I don't qualify for that job so I won't bother applying this kind of thinking is keeping you from new opportunities. I'm a hiring manager. I know a lot of hiring managers. They're not looking for someone who can do every single thing on the job requirement. They're looking for people who can hit the key requirements and they are smart enough and easy, eager enough to learn the rest. Invisible Scripts stop you from learning something new. One example is investing is only for rich people. Now if you believe this, are you really going to start learning how to invest? The irony is that investing is actually how you become rich. It's not only for the rich. Do you see how you have to go deeper than these handy little phrases? You need to look beneath the surface and realize what's really going on. Otherwise these phrases just become self fulfilling prophecies. Invisible scripts also prevent you from earning more. Think about it. A lot of people will write me and say people in my position only make this much. How do you know? Have you ever asked for a raise? Have you ever learned the skills of asking for a raise? Have you ever taken somebody out who makes more than you, taken them out for an informational interview or out for lunch and said how did you do it? Walk me through your career path. Most people have never done that and yet they tell themselves a story that I can't earn anymore. I know of people who have been at companies for decades without much of an increase in their salary and they stayed there simply because they believed an invisible script that they couldn't earn more. Just looking at these few examples we can see how limiting invisible scripts can be. The way we think about ourselves, how much we earn, the trajectory of our careers, even the way we view money and ourselves. So how do you make sure your money psychology is not holding you back well, if you're watching this video, you are already on the right track. Make sure you hit subscribe so you don't miss out on any of the new Money Psychology videos I have coming out now. You need to learn how to recognize the invisible scripts you tell yourself before you can understand if they are helping or hurting you. Which brings me to part two, how to find your invisible scripts. Invisible scripts are usually so subtle that you don't even realize they're there. That's why they're called invisible scripts and they influence what you think, what you say, what you do. And that's what can make this entire concept so dangerous. So how do you identify your own invisible scripts? Well, follow this quick four step exercise to help you Step one Think of a money belief you absorbed growing up. Think back, way back, to the way your parents talked about money. When when you were growing up. What kind of phrases did they say? If your parents aren't the right example, think about childhood friends or even TV shows you watched where you learned about money. For example, maybe it felt like your parents always told you we can't afford that. When you would ask for something and you still feel that way today, you will find that you often carry those same beliefs into adulthood, even if your financial circumstances have changed. Step two get really specific about a single conversation that stands out. Was it over the dinner table? Did one of your parents say, we don't talk about money in this family? Or did you see that they bought a new car? Must be nice if we take that example from step one where your parents said we can't afford that. What specific conversation stands out to you? Was it when you asked for a new bike for your 10th birthday? Was it when your dreams were crushed? When they told you you couldn't get that Nintendo? What was it and how did it make you feel? Step 3 Connect that message to actual money behaviors that you have today. For example, for a lot of people who grew up poor, the minute they got money, they would spend it all. Why? Because who knew when they would have that money? Again, write down what you notice about your own behavior. For example, if you heard we can't afford that from your parents over and over, how does that show up for you today? Are you still worried about the price of blueberries even though you make six figures in your job? Think about what you tell your kids as well. Do you notice how these behaviors are often invisible to us? They're often unconscious? That's because they are so embedded in us, we don't even think about where they come from Step four Write down your answers to the following questions. What did I learn about money from my parents? How has that helped me or hindered me? And what do I want to do differently? Now hit pause. Go ahead and fill those out when you come back. I want to know what surprised you about your responses. What did you learn about yourself? Let's keep going with the example of we can't afford that. What did you learn about money from your parents? Maybe that money is scarce, that it's not meant to be spent on frivolous things, that spending money is bad. How has that helped or hindered you? It's helped you build a healthy savings, but it's hurt your view of money. You constantly feel worried and anxious about money. You you have a scarcity mindset and you find yourself unconsciously repeating that with your children. What do you want to do differently? Maybe you want to view money with an abundance mindset. Maybe you want to stop worrying. Maybe you want to teach your kids how to have a healthy relationship with money. Maybe you want to start enjoying your money. You see, uncovering your invisible scripts and their impact on your life is not a one and done exercise. You can do this repeatedly over the years and you will still find hit hidden scripts and opportunities to grow. The more effort and the more time you devote here, the more you can learn about yourself. Now, after years of research and hundreds of thousands of data points from talking to my readers, I've discovered a way for you to master your money psychology and beat back common invisible scripts that hold us down. Now that you understand how your money beliefs can hold you back and you know how to discover them, that brings me to part three how to rewrite your harmful invisible scripts. Starting today, what words could you use to encourage, not demean yourself? Follow this three step exercise to master your money psychology. Step 1 Reframe your negative thoughts I talk a lot about living a rich life and that means you are living your life intentionally, abundantly and proactively. In order to do this, your money mindset has to be working for you. And that means shifting from playing defense like always worrying what could go wrong to to playing offense and planning for when things go right. So how do you reframe your negative thinking? Take a negative thought you have and ask yourself how you would like to feel instead. For example, let's say you currently think whenever I think about money, I'm stressed and I feel overwhelmed. Notice the negative emotions surrounding money for you. What if instead you felt positive? What would that look like for you? Maybe you say going forward. When I think about money, I want to feel calm and I want to feel secure. You can do this with any negative thought that pops into your head. Ask yourself, what would I like to feel instead? Step 2 Select an invisible script you want to rewrite. This can be that first childhood money belief that you thought about earlier in the video, or it can be a different one. Feel free to write out a couple and then choose one you want to rewrite. Here are some examples. I I'm not good at math. I'm not lucky with money. It's not so bad being in debt. Everyone's in debt. I'm scared of losing money or investing feels like gambling. Then move on to step three. Rewrite the invisible script. Now you know exactly how you want to feel about money going forward, and you've picked one script you want to change. How would you rewrite it so it supports a positive money mindset? Let me show you some examples in Instead of My situation is unique, so that advice won't work for me. Try this. I'm going to master the fundamentals of personal finance, like knowing my numbers, setting up an automatic savings and investment plan, and knowing how my money can pay for my lifestyle. Once I master the basics, then I will earn the right to be different. Or instead of I really should stop buying lattes. What if you said it's okay to ignore common advice? My rich life is mine and nobody else's. If I master the basics, if I know my numbers, if I can afford it, I'm going to feel good about buying my morning coffee. How about this one? Instead of I'm not good with money, try Personal finance is a skill that can be learned. I'm going to learn about money and my rich life by learning how personal finance works so I can build the habits and the systems to make my money work for me. When you catch yourself thinking about money in a negative way or talking about money in a negative way, you can now identify that moment and replace it with a new script. This might take a little bit of time to change, but you're going to become much more natural at identifying your invisible scripts and then turning them into more positive scripts. All right, I hope this video helped you identify your invisible scripts, and I hope you start to question some of the stories you tell yourselves so that you can take control of your money and use it to live a rich life. Now check out this video popping up on screen to watch more.