Why Travel Feels So Exhausting (and the Rules That Fix It)

There's a phrase I don't like, and it's when people come back from a vacation and then they go, I need to take a vacation after the vacation. The implication being that you are so tired after that trip. When I come back from a trip, I feel amazing. And this is not because I spent money staying at a super high-end hotel. It is because of the way that I designed my trip. In this video, I'm going to show you the rules I use to design trips that actually feel like a rich life. They are intentional, they are relaxed, and they are worth the time and money. And near the end, I'm going to share a rule that changed the most miserable part of travel for me. Rule number 1: Decide the theme of the trip before you plan anything. This is one of the biggest changes I have made to how I travel. And in my experience, very few people do this. They always start by picking the destination. I want to go to Spain. I want to go to India. I want to go to Morocco. All of those places are great, but what is the theme? What is the trip about? Because if you don't decide that, then every decision you make feels equally important. So what ends up happening is you overbook your days, you feel an immense amount of FOMO, and you bounce between totally different types of experiences. These are the kind of trips you've been on. You know, you start early in the morning and you're going all day long, and at the end of the day, you are exhausted every single day. The trip starts to feel scattered. So that's why before we book anything, we decide the theme of the trip, not the destination, the theme. Are we going for adventure, relaxation, culture, connection? That one decision quietly eliminates tons of options, which allows us to go deeper on the things we've chosen. For example, if the theme is adventure, then early mornings and physical activities and long days make sense. We don't resent them. Or if the theme is relaxation, we are not trying to squeeze in every museum and tour and reservation. In fact, we might actually just book 1 day or 2 days just to stay in the hotel and relax guilt-free. Here's why this matters so much. When you choose a theme that is meaningful to you, that theme becomes a filter. So once you know what this trip is about, planning becomes easier because most of the decisions are already made for you. For example, if you are doing a relaxation vacation, You are not going to be waking up at 6 a.m. and going until 9 p.m. It just doesn't fit with what you yourself chose. So you don't have to ask anymore, is this a good activity? Would we like this? You're instead asking, does this activity fit the theme of our trip? Try it. Before you book anything, write one sentence down. Just fill this out. The theme of this upcoming trip is— and if something doesn't support that theme, Cut it, even if it sounds interesting, even if you might not come back for a while. And once your theme is clear, the next rule determines whether this trip actually feels good or it just looks good on paper. Rule number 2: spend money to improve how you feel, not how things look. Here's one problem I have experienced over and over, and I've seen it in other people's vacations. We often optimize for how things look instead of how they feel. So we'll plan a trip that sounds impressive, or it sounds like we got a deal, or we go to one of those Instagrammable places that looks good in photos, but once we get there, we're just like, this is not that cool. What I actually care about is how this trip will feel. Am I going to feel exhausted or energized? Am I going to feel calm or irritated? Sometimes I actually want to feel uncomfortable when I go to certain countries or cities where there's an assault of smells and foods and all kinds of different sensory experiences. I actually want that for certain trips, but not for others. This is how I decide what's worth spending on. For example, I've learned that if I land feeling exhausted, that entire first day of that trip is going to be really difficult on me. I'm going to feel short-tempered, tired, and everything's just going to feel like it's lagging. So I design around that. That might mean choosing a flight time that doesn't really wreck my sleep. It might mean paying more for a seat where I can actually rest. It definitely means paying attention to what I eat because I don't want to walk off feeling sluggish. Sometimes it might mean just accepting we are going to be tired, we're going to get to the hotel and we're going to sleep for 4 hours and then we're going to go out. Now, I will show you exactly what I do about food later, because actually changing the way that I eat on on vacation has completely changed how I travel. But this idea right now goes beyond flights. I've also noticed that spending a little bit more to avoid chaos often is worth it. I don't want to have to run through an airport and sweat. Chaos might mean having to carry too much or deal with logistics when I'm supposed to be present. Here's how I want you to think about this on your next trip. Don't ask, what's the nicest option? Instead, ask, Where does this trip usually start to feel bad or irritating or chaotic? And how can I make that part feel better? That answer at that very moment is almost always where you can start to use money to make your experience better and easier. And once you start designing for how you feel, the rest of these rules start to really come together. The next rule is what stops travel from feeling stressful before you even book anything. Rule number 3: Never start from scratch when you travel. I gotta tell you that starting from zero every time you travel is exhausting, and that's why so many people end up doing the same generic things in every single city. Oh, what should we do when we're in this city? I don't know, let's go see the Eiffel Tower. Okay, the Eiffel Tower is cool, but there's so many other amazing things that you would probably find more meaningful. Think about it. For every trip, most of us start by asking the same questions. What airline should I take again? Which seat do I like? What time are we going to land? What type of hotel should I book? These are all repeated decisions, and when you repeat something over and over, I don't want to repeat them. I want a freaking SOP, standard operating procedure. That's why I have a one-page travel document. It's simple, it's nothing fancy, it just captures what I already know about myself. Including the airlines I prefer in descending order, the seat types I like, arrival times that I avoid, basic hotel rules such as which hotels to stay at, or if I have a favorite hotel. In my case, I'm very specific down to the room that I stay in, and things that I genuinely don't care about. This turns every trip booking into much easier plug-and-play planning, so I don't have to reopen the same debates. What time should we take off? No, I start from a default that already works. Planning gets faster, mistakes disappear, and I don't have to burn cognitive energy on things that I figured out 10 years ago. Now, if you don't do this, because very few people have an SOP for travel, here's what happens. You're often going to have 50 different decisions to make, and you're going to overthink small ones because they seem as impactful as big ones. Think about booking dinner on Thursday, the 4th day of your trip, that's gonna seem existential. But actually, you neglected to ask yourself, how do I want to feel? Here's how to do this without overcomplicating it. Open up a Google Doc. Go ahead and do it right now. Let's do it together. And I want you to write down 3 airlines that you like. Write down 1 seat that you prefer. Write down 1 arrival time that you don't want to arrive at. It could be arriving at 3:00 AM or 5:00 PM when there's rush hour traffic. And then write down 3 things you don't care about. In my case, I don't really care about high-end dining. So when I travel, we don't need to plan our trips around reservations because we don't really care that much. Now, I will tell you, if you just fill this simple document out, that's enough to remove a huge amount of friction. Another place that this invisible stress shows up is online because your personal data is being leaked everywhere right now. Your name, your address, phone number, your family members' information is all out there for anyone to find. It's being sold, traded, and it resurfaces all the time. That is why I personally use DeleteMe, this video's sponsor. DeleteMe is a hands-free subscription service that goes out and removes your personal information from hundreds of data brokers and people search sites that profit off of your data, and DeleteMe keeps monitoring it over time. Same philosophy I use for travel. Remove the invisible stress so you can focus on what actually matters. I actually bought DeleteMe for my parents as well, because I know parents tend to be even more vulnerable to their information being sold online. And they are the best in the business. DeleteMe has been the leading expert in personally identifiable information removal for over 15 years, and they were recently named by Wirecutter as the number one data removal service. So here's how it works. When I log into my DeleteMe dashboard, I can literally see the reports, including which sites had my info, what they found, like phone, address, relatives, and confirmation that it's been removed. That is time and energy I don't have to spend playing whack-a-mole with these shady websites. So if you want to take control of your digital footprint without turning it into a major personal project, go to joindelete.me.com/Ramit and use code Ramit at checkout for 20% off a plan for you or your entire family. You can also click the link below in the description. Now, that same idea of removing invisible stress so you can focus on what actually matters shows up all over travel. And I'm gonna show you that you have more control than you think. Let's go to the next rule. Rule number 4, stress is actually okay. You know, when we travel, it's not that we want to avoid all stress. Think about it. We are actually willing to go to a brand new city or country and eat at restaurants we've never eaten at. These things would ordinarily feel very stressful, but when we travel, they can feel adventurous. So it's not that we are afraid of stress, but there are certain things that are good stress and certain things that are bad stress. For example, one of my simple fantasies is to walk through the airport with my hands completely free. Look at my beautiful hands. I'm twirling like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. They're free. Okay, that's my fantasy. I don't want that kind of unnecessary stress of having to drag these bags, navigate stairs, and one of them falls apart. No, that friction adds nothing to my experience. But I am perfectly happy walking through a neighborhood, finding a local laundromat, and doing my own laundry. I actually really enjoy exploring the city that way. I love it. That effort makes me feel more connected to where I am. Living a rich life, especially when you travel, is not about avoiding stress. It's about deciding what is worth it to you, what you actually enjoy, and where you want to incur stress. When I go to New Delhi and my family lives there and I go shopping in the markets, I know it's going to be stressful and I love it. I choose to do it because I know it's going to give me an amazing, rich experience. But I have to sit there and lug around a 75-pound suitcase up an escalator and then I'm all sweaty. No thanks. Now, once you make this distinction of what is good stress and bad stress, your travel starts to get much easier, and I actually think much more meaningful. You don't have to ask, how do I eliminate stress? Or even worse, oh God, it's probably going to be so stressful. You start to say, hey, which kind of stress am I looking forward to, and which kind of stress am I going to intentionally avoid? Let me show you how to apply this on your next trip. Think about one part of travel that consistently frustrates you. Something that feels like work. It pulls you out of the experience. It just doesn't make you feel good about the overall trip. What if you could use $20 or $50 or $100 to remove that stress? Then think about one part of travel that is a little stressful but actually adds something. You look back on it fondly. Maybe it's walking into a new adventurous neighborhood that you've never been to. Maybe it's slowing down and just watching people going into a grocery store and seeing how the locals eat and making your own lunch. Who knows? That's usually worth keeping. I love this. And that leads directly into my next rule, because once you know what kind of stress you want to pursue, the question then becomes who should be handling the rest? Rule number 5: Use a travel advisor for trips that you actually want to get right. Now I'm going to tell you right now, I know a lot of us are going, Travel Advisor, like, are they still around? I thought they went bankrupt in the '80s. No, I use a travel advisor on almost every trip that I take. And it can sound a little intimidating. How do I find one? Don't they charge me a bunch of money? No, I'm going to surprise you here. For trips that really matter, like a big anniversary, a long trip, a place that I've never been before, I don't want to guess my way through it. The first surprise is that travel advisors are usually free. You don't pay them out of your pocket. They are compensated by the hotels that they recommend and the experiences or excursions that they recommend. I don't particularly love the commission-based compensation of any profession, but in this case, it can be good, especially because you probably were going to stay at that hotel anyway. You might as well get the free breakfast, the room upgrade, et cetera, et cetera. So this is exactly what happened. For example, when my wife and I stayed at a high-end hotel in New York, we work with a travel advisor. They know how we travel. Before we even arrived, they had introduced us to the hotel manager, sent our preferences. So when we showed up there, they already knew who we were and there was context. For example, they know that we don't really care to drink. So instead of leaving a welcome bottle of wine in our room, they left a little box of chocolates. Sometimes they leave a box of fruits to welcome us. They also, in this case, triple upgraded us in our room. Now, that didn't happen because we asked nicely at the front desk. That rarely happens anymore. It happened in this specific case because we were working with a travel advisor who had deep relationships and knew that he wanted to delight us. So this is why I interview travel advisors before I work with them. I'm not asking them, where can you send me? I'm not even asking them, what kind of perks can you get me? Because most travel advisors can basically get you the same perks. What I'm asking is, do you understand me? Do you understand how I travel? And do you have other clients like me? If a trip feels important or it starts to become complicated, don't do it yourself by default. Search for travel advisor plus your destination like Travel Advisor Morocco, Travel Advisor Amsterdam, and then talk to 2 or 3 of these travel advisors. Pay attention who actually listens to you and asks you thoughtful questions. Let's talk now about numbers. Rule number 6: Always calculate an extra 50% for hotel costs. One of the biggest financial mistakes people make with their travel is they look at the sticker price for a hotel. And then they just multiply it by the number of nights they're going to be there. They go, oh, this hotel's $300, we're going to be there for 4 nights, that's $1,200. Wrong. The sticker price of a hotel is never what you are going to pay. There are a lot of phantom costs when it comes to staying at hotels. Just on a pure transactional level, you might eat something for breakfast, you might go to the spa, You might go to the bar, you might tip somebody. But in addition to that, there's also taxes, which almost nobody calculates in their head. And so what happens is suddenly this hotel's adding up, it's adding up. You get the thing at the end, you go, oh my God. And for your next trip, you start negotiating with yourself. Should we do this? Is it worth it? Can we afford dessert? I don't want that in my trip at all. So now when I look at a hotel, I mentally add 50% to the room price And that is how I think about affordability for vacations. So, for example, if a hotel is $300 a night, it's actually $450 a night all in. That covers 38% taxes, tips, meals, transportation, and maybe the occasional discretionary choice I might want to make, like a spa treatment or something like that. And here's the key part. If that higher number is not affordable, then don't do it. You should actually be very strategic with where you choose to stay because you do not want to be staying at a place where suddenly you're like, oh, I don't know if I can afford that pizza. You actually want to either shorten your trip or stay at a more affordable place. Just make sure that you've given yourself all the room to breathe so that if you sit down and decide to have 2 desserts because it looks good, you can do it. And that matters especially for the next rule, because some of the smartest decisions happen before you ever set foot in the hotel. Rule number 7: Ship things ahead to the hotel whenever it makes sense. Earlier I mentioned that one of my goals when I travel is to move through the airport with as little friction as possible. One of the ways that I actually do that is if something is bulky, awkward, or it's something replenishable like a big protein shaker and I'm going to be there for a while, I just stop and ask a simple question: Does this really need to travel with me, or can it just be waiting for me when I arrive. Now, sometimes it can be something very specific. I want to eat oats every morning for breakfast and I want to prepare them myself. Cool. I'll just ship those oats ahead of time. Sometimes it can be something as large as a suitcase because I'm going to be in this specific area and this is what I want. Now, let's talk about cost because most people do not do this, and this frankly sounds ridiculous. Shipping luggage does cost money, but it's not as expensive as you would think. Usually for a suitcase, we're talking about $100 or so, at least domestically. Now, I don't do this for every trip, and I certainly don't do it for a weekend getaway. But for longer trips or trips where I really care about how I feel when I land, that can be worth it. And I'll tell you, I've landed several times where I have things that were already shipped either from me or from Amazon, and that trip feels different. I know that preplanning went into it. I know that I don't have to go out of the hotel the next morning to pick up this or that. It's already there. So I'm calm, I'm present, I'm ready to enjoy the trip. By the way, you can also do this on the reverse. Sometimes if you're traveling, especially if you're traveling abroad, you buy a bunch of things and souvenirs and we're like, oh my God, is this gonna fit in our suitcase? And one time we were like, what if we just ship it back? And we just went to the front desk of the hotel. We're like, can you help us arrange to ship this back? We have these bags. We just handed them some shopping bags. They're like, we'll take care of it. Amazing. They packed it, they shipped it, they handled all the custom stuff. Boom. It was at our house before we even arrived. If you start making decisions like this before you arrive, then the next rule becomes obvious, because how you structure the end of a trip matters just as much as how you start it. Rule number 8: for longer trips, Design an energy arc for your entire trip. Let's say you get somewhere incredible. It could be a beautiful city, the Alps, someplace you've been excited about for years. First day's amazing. Second day's perfect. Third day you're going, this is incredible. And then around day 4, something might shift. Maybe you go, not another early morning, not another pack day. I just want to sleep in on my vacation. And if you don't plan for that shift, that trip starts to drag. It starts to feel like an obligation. And ironically, you start to resent this beautiful trip that you're on. Now, I love this rule, and it was taught to me by a travel planning firm when we went on our honeymoon. When a trip is more than just a few days, I don't think about where we are going first. I think about how my energy is going to change over the course of that trip. And our general rule is that if we're on a long trip, we want to start in a city, we want to end in a resort. In other words, we want to start active, moving around, and then as we go, as we go, eventually we want to get calmer and calmer, more and more relaxed. You might do it in reverse, it's totally up to you, but the important thing is to simply think about an energy arc in the first place. Someplace designed for rest. We don't feel FOMO there because we already got our activity way back here. Which leads into our next rule, because what you say once you arrive can completely shape how your trip feels. Rule number 9: Send a pre-arrival preference email to the hotel before we arrive anywhere. My assistant sends the hotel a short note. It's nothing complicated, just the basics. What we like, what we don't, anything that is useful to know. For example, we don't drink much alcohol. So instead of a hospitality gift of a bottle of wine, which a lot of these hotels have, we say, if you have that, we would love some berries or chocolates in the room. And you don't need an assistant to do this. You can just email the hotel yourself. One short message before you arrive can actually totally change the entire tone of the stay. Now I know a bunch of you are wondering like, hey Ramit Sethi, are you telling me I should email the Best Western and tell them my hospitality demands before I arrive? Actually, yes, you should try it, because anyone who works in hospitality loves to delight their customers. They might not have a fresh bowl of hand-picked berries waiting for you when you arrive. But so what? What's the worst that happens? They ignore you. The best that can happen is that they actually acknowledge what you requested. Maybe they help you with a restaurant reservation. They certainly pass the word along to the kitchen that you are gluten-free, and on and on and on. What I've noticed is that when you don't say anything, you are treated like everybody else, and people guess. And when people guess, they guess wrong, because of course They guess for the averages, not because they're bad at service, but because they don't know you. When you travel, you should assume that from the minute you leave your house, everybody wants to delight you. This is a radically different way of thinking compared to how I traveled when I was younger. When I traveled when I was younger, I immediately assumed everybody's trying to rip me off. Look at my body language. Oh, they're trying to take me for everything I've got. They're trying to rip me off. And maybe once in a while they are. So what? Imagine how it feels when you send a preference document. Hey, we're celebrating our anniversary, or we're celebrating a half birthday. Imagine what happens when a couple of those places actually delight you. Rule number 10: Do not merely accept what's given. Ask for what you want. Pattern I see all the time, especially around travel, is people assume the first option that they are offered is the only option. I'm talking about the hotel room, the seat at the concert, the experience on the food tour that you booked. But I got to tell you, in most cases, that is not the only option. It's just the default. So I don't assume anything is final. If I'm offered something, that's totally fine. Most of the times I'll go with it. But if I want something different, I will ask specifically for what I want. Not aggressively, not awkwardly, just clearly. My friend and I were in Tokyo. We wanted to go on a food tour, but candidly, we didn't want to spend 4 hours. We said, hey, can you make this 2 hours? And specifically, we want to try one of these fruit parlors. They have fruit and ice cream. They were like, yeah, no problem, happy to do it. We asked for what we wanted, they delivered. Now, sometimes the answer is no, But very often in my experience, over 50% of the time, the answer is yes, or at least it's better. Like when somebody asks me, "Hey, Ramit, do you want to go take this obscure European art tour at a museum?" I go, "No, I actually don't." That's okay. The key here is not being pushy. It's simply being engaged with what you want and being polite when you ask for it. Do you want to know how to use money to create magical experiences when you travel so that if you're bringing your family around, your children are entertained and there are things waiting for them in your hotel room? Do you want to know how to attend an amazing cooking class if you love food? Do you want to know how to access these behind-the-scenes travel experiences? Well, I share that in a new live presentation that I made in my money coaching program. About how to use money to create magical experiences. And this is just one of many live events that I have held. Inside the program, you will learn exactly how money works, how to spend money guilt-free on everything from health and fitness to convenience to travel, and how to grow your money, how to invest it, where the money should be saved, and what to do on a day-to-day basis. Because when your money system is clear, then you stop worrying about tiny little decisions. You can take intentionally amazing trips. So just the same way we've talked about travel rules, let me help you do that with your money. You can join my money coaching program by scanning the QR code on screen or clicking the link in the description below. And once you have that clarity with your money in place through our money coaching program, the next rule becomes much easier because it's about removing friction from the first moment you begin your trip. Rule number 11: always take a car service to and from the airport. Okay, I will admit that as I say this out loud, I'm thinking of that show The Outer Limits from the '90s where people were traveling through time and there's all these aliens. I love that show. And there's Ramit Sethi, who's 21 years old. He's going through a time portal. He's emerging outside finding Ramit Sethi of 43 years old and he's strangling me to death saying, "Motherfucker, talking about taking a car service to the airport? Who are you?" If you're still watching this, then the 21-year-old me has not gone through a time portal and strangled me to death, so I'm just gonna finish this rule, okay, before he comes. Getting to the airport is one of the easiest ways to create delight for yourself before the trip even starts. Think about traffic, parking, dragging bag, even having to put the bag in the trunk. And by the time you arrive, especially for people who have children, very easy to be tense and the trip hasn't even begun. So that is why when I travel, I try to remove friction at key friction points. For example, I want both ends of the trip to feel really smooth. On the way out, I wanna know there's a car waiting for me. I don't wanna have to stress out being like, oh, when's the car gonna show up? Or I gotta get in the car and park it over there. No, I also wanna know the car's clean. It's on time. And once I sit inside, I am done thinking about logistics. I'm not checking directions. I'm not figuring out the best street to take. That's it. And that matters also when I come home after a long flight. I don't want to figure out where is the Uber pickup. I don't want to figure out, especially if we have family with us, how to carry a ton of bags. So it's really helpful to know that there is a car waiting with somebody who will help with bags to make that return feel calm instead of chaotic. I've been trying to encourage my parents to do this as well. It is a battle for me to get them to just try having a car service and to give up their bags to somebody who's actually happy to help. If that is you, if you feel reluctant to try this, that's fine. You don't have to do it, but try it once. Try it just once, especially if you have a family with a lot of bags. It can feel so calm once you get this right. When you protect your energy on travel days, the next rule follows naturally because we're gonna talk about what happens when you are flying somewhere. Rule number 12, for flights over 4 hours, I book business class seats. Now I'm gonna tell you why I do this because whenever I post my list of money rules, people go, that's crazy, that makes no sense. Why would you do that? Well, I'll tell you why. Number 1, I can afford it. So if you can't afford this, then you shouldn't do this rule. But also, I realized when I was younger, I used to walk from the front of the plane to the back, sitting in my economy seat, and I would laugh at the people who would sit in the front. I'd be like, you're so stupid. Why would you pay 4 times the amount of money? We're all getting to the same place. What I should have done is to get more curious. Hey, if you can afford this, why would you sit up front and pay 4 times the amount? Is the food really worth it? Is it really worth sitting 10 minutes before everyone? What's the reason? So now, as someone who does pay for business class seats, I will tell you, I like knowing that I'm going to arrive rested. I like knowing the certainty that there is going to be a place for the bag, that I'm always going to be sitting in basically the same seat. I like the certainty because it's one one less thing I have to think about. It's not about status, not even really about the food, because I usually bring my own food. And that one difference of intentionality carries through the rest of the trip for me. Now, this naturally led to the next change that I made. Rule number 13: bring your own food on flights. Years ago, I stopped treating airplane food like a perk, meaning when I would sit in any seat, you know, they give you the food, they give you the crackers, and it feels free. Wow, this is so cool. Then I started traveling business class, first class, and they give you these meals with the tablecloth and the silverware. Then you go, wow, this is good, it's free. And then eventually I started to think about things differently. I actually don't want free. If you try to give me some free thing, more likely than not I'm just going to say no thank you. So when I go to a hotel, I don't need to take their free shampoos, I have my own shampoo at home. Same thing with food on a plane. I don't want free food that's gonna typically leave me feeling really sluggish or heavy. A better approach, at least for my wife and for me, the ultimate luxury for us now is actually so simple, and it is to bring our own food. So I can't believe I didn't think about this before, but I just did not connect the food that I was eating on a flight with how I felt walking off. Which brings us to the next rule, because I think the arrival matters a lot, sometimes as much as the flight itself. Rule number 14, never land in a city at a bad time. Okay, in my opinion, one of the easiest ways to make a trip start off in a tough, tiring way is to arrive at somewhere without thinking about little logistics. Like, I don't wanna land in New York at 5:00 PM on a weekday. It sounds like, hey, if that's the ticket I got, that's the ticket I got. But if I have a choice, I'm probably not choosing that one. So we're now fiddling around with the last 3 or 5%. But when it comes to that, timing matters. How you enter a travel destination, how you reenter your own life, that can really set the tone for the next half day. So not only do I have my SOP that includes airlines that I like and seats that I like, but it also includes arrival times, something I did not think about for a long part of my adult life. That includes outbound and also coming home. Think about it. Do you want to have to wake up at 4:30 AM to make a flight? Maybe, maybe not, but it's something to think about and put into your standard operating procedure. And once you get intentional about timing like this, then the next question becomes how long should you actually stay in one place? Well, rule number 15, spend a minimum of 4 nights in any place. This is my personal rule, and my wife and I developed this because we stayed certain places 1 night, 2 nights, 6 nights, and on and on. And we realized 4 nights for us is the perfect amount as a minimum amount of time where we can be comfortable, where we don't feel rushed, where we don't feel like we have to do every single thing in a very, very compressed manner. And I think the ultimate luxury in life is time. Free time to be able to go places or sometimes simply just relax. I remember one of my friends, Steve, told me he was traveling and they loved the place they were staying at so much that they simply decided to extend their stay. That had never occurred to me that you can do that. You can just cancel your trip over there and just stay an extra night or two. Wow. I love the spontaneity. And once you slow down like that, it can change how you plan your days, which is exactly what the next rule is about. Rule number 16: On longer trips, make life feel normal. When most people go on vacation for 4 or 5 days, it's basically purely a vacation. It's fun. You're just eating everything. You're going out late at night. Okay, I can understand it. But if you do that for longer periods of time, it starts to pull on you, starts to drain you. You feel bad, you feel bloated, you just don't feel good. So what we did was we built normalcy into our trips. It might mean morning walks together. It definitely means closely following our workout routine, maybe not as aggressively as when we're home, but as closely as possible. Familiar routines in terms of when we want to go to sleep, things like that. And what that allows us to do is actually to stay and travel longer, not just for 4 days of aggressive vacationing. Now remember, I only do this on longer trips. If it's 4 days, I don't really care. We're going to eat whatever. We don't have to go to the gym as much. Fine. But in our case, because we started to travel for longer, we realized we need to bring some semblance of normalcy into these trips, which leads to the next rule. Rule number 17, design your trip with built-in recovery. I think I used to plan trips like I was trying to prove something. Every day was packed— reservations and restaurants and tours and all kinds of stuff back to back. On paper, it looked amazing. We're gonna do this, this, this, this. But when I was there on the ground, it just felt rushed. And I learned that great experience needs space to breathe. By the way, this happened with my wife and me. One time she said, "Hey, can you help me plan this part of the trip? I'm pretty busy. I need your help to plan." I said, "No problem." And I planned it and we get there. And on that day, I freaking packed that schedule from 7:00 AM until 10:00 PM. And she just looked at me with her eyebrow raised and everybody knew, specifically me, I messed up. On paper, it looks amazing. Of course, when you're at home planning it, you want to do this and that and this and that. We got to make sure we see this and also that. But then when you're there, you don't want that. Maybe one thing, maybe two things a day. In our case now, with the way we travel, it's one major thing every two days. And also, for every 10 days of travel, we've got one full reset day. That's a day where we do nothing. No reservations, no agenda. We might just sit in the hotel, sit in the hotel room or by the pool, and not feel guilty at all. We know that it is part of our entire trip experience. Which brings us to the next rule. Rule number 18: build in time for serendipity. One thing we always do before we take a trip is we save a bunch of interesting places on Google Maps— cafes, restaurants, neighborhoods, random spots, textile shops that we want to check out. But we don't turn those pins into a tight plan. They are there as references not a checklist. Often what we'll do is we'll pick a neighborhood that we want to walk around today, and we've saved a bunch of pins, and so we'll just start walking. And as we're walking, we'll look at what's around, and if it sounds interesting to us, we'll go there. This is what leads to the next rule, that mindset that quietly changes how you travel and how you plan, all of the pressure that you put on every single trip. This is a big one. Rule number 19: There are no once-in-a-lifetime trips. One of the biggest sources of stress in travel is the idea that this is your one shot. If we don't do everything right now, we will never get another chance. So people rush. I have a new metaphor. If I love a place, I know I can come back. And just knowing that changes everything about how we travel. My wife is abundant enough to know that if we want to come back, we can. And guess what? We were on a safari in Kenya and one of the places we went was this lodge that we absolutely loved. We loved it so much that a few years later we did go back. And so not only is she abundant and we are abundant, but we also try to live it by going back to the places that we love and going deeper. If this way of thinking connects with you, if you've never heard anybody talking like this when it comes to travel or life, Make sure you are subscribed because this is what we talk about here. Counterintuitive, surprising ways to make better decisions with money and time and your energy so you can actually live a calm and intentional life instead of being rushed and reactive. And now let's bring all of this together. Rule number 20: Celebrate special trips intentionally. One thing that's easy to forget when you travel is why the trip matters in the first place. My wife and I look for rituals that we can create to commemorate special moments, and we try to do them a lot. I mentioned that we don't really drink that much, but when a trip is special, when we sit down on the plane, we will toast a glass of champagne right there. It's not because of the champagne. It's the moment where we pause and we look each other in the eye and we say cheers. We're really saying this matters. I think those small rituals are really important. They mark that trip. They separate it from routine. What is it for you? Could be a prayer, could be champagne, could be eating a certain type of food. None of these rules are about being fancy. There's a couple of them on there that are pretty expensive, but you don't need to do all of them. Just adapt and adopt for your own needs. So once you start thinking this way, travel kind of becomes a mirror It shows you what is important to you. It shows you if I design my vacations like this, can I design my life like this as well? And in the next video, I'll show you how to apply this same way of thinking to your entire life, not just travel, so you can design what your rich life actually looks like. Watch this video next.