Breaking Free from the Know-It-All Trap: Embrace Your Inner Learner

Have you ever been talking to someone and sharing with them some great information that really meant a lot to you? And as you were talking to them, they sort of butted in on you and said, I already know that. And it just took the wind out of your sails and you thought to yourself, wow, I was trying to share something with you that really meant a lot to me. I was sharing something with you from my heart, from my soul, from the deepest part of my life and my brain and my thoughts and my feelings. And your response was, I already know that. Well, today we're going to be talking about that situation and how to avoid it, or if it does happen, what to do about it. I'm Dr. Robert Rohm, and today we're going to be having a podcast that you will be using for the rest of your life.

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good, spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rome.

So today we're talking about people having a know it all attitude. And I want to share with you one of the greatest days of your life will be the day you wake up and admit to yourself and possibly to others that you don't know everything. I have traveled around the world. I have been on six continents. I have five college degrees and a World Series ring, and I'm here to tell you I don't know everything. I am amazed at how much there is to know and how little of all of it I do know. There is a massive amount of information in the world today. Statistics show that years and years ago, knowledge doubled every 20 or 30 years. Now it seems like it's doubling every 20 to 30 minutes. You can look up statistical data on that to see what that shows. But the point is this. There's no human alive on the planet who knows everything. And the sooner you get to a comfortable place of admitting that, the better off you're going to be. It is okay to think you know. I don't know everything. I need to get some help. I once heard someone make a brilliant statement. I would write this down if I were you. I may not have all of the brains in the world, but. But I do know how to borrow brains. Now think about that just for a minute. I don't know how to fly a jet, but I know how to borrow brains. That's called getting a ticket, an airline ticket, and letting the pilot, who has the brains and the experience and the training handle the Flight. I have never been to medical school. I have a friend who's a pathologist. He let me watch him do an autopsy one day. So. So I'm sort of familiar with how the human body works, but I'm not a physician, but I'm willing to pay a physician to help me, because I don't know everything. The older you get, the wiser you get if you're willing to listen. And after all these podcasts are all about becoming a wiser person. Years and years ago, I lived in Dallas, Texas. Zig Ziglar and his wife Jean came to a Bible study that I had on Wednesday night. I'll never forget, because it just shocked me so much. Zig would always sit on the first row and he'd have a notebook, and he would just be taking notes. And honestly, I was so young. I mean, that seemed like that was half a century ago, but I was so young and really inexperienced. I didn't. I didn't know what Zig was doing. I mean, I saw him writing a lot of things down. So one Wednesday night, we were standing in the parking lot, and I said, zigzag, are you writing a book? And you know Zig, if you ever heard him talk, he kind of growled when he talked. He said, well, yeah, I'm always working on a book. And I said, well, I was just wondering. I saw you writing a lot tonight. And he said, oh, are you? He said to me, are you talking about a Bible study? I said, yeah. He said, no, I was taking notes on everything you were teaching us. I was taking notes on what I was learning from you. If you had thumped me, you would have knocked me down. I was so shocked. Here's Zig Ziglar, like a world famous motivational speaker, encourager, salesman, and he's sitting on the first row taking notes on what I had to say. I mean, I'm nobody. Who am I? Just a young kid going to seminary and teaching a Bible study. And there was Zig writing down. He said, I love to listen to you teach. He said, and your stories are going to make great examples in my books. And I thought, in your books? Wait a minute. Maybe they can be in my books again. I was young. But you see, Zig Ziglar was a great man for one reason. He was willing to learn from others. He was a perpetual student. He was a constant learner. Now, let me ask you, are you. Do you have the attitude of, everybody I meet knows at least one thing I don't know. Therefore, everybody I meet is my Teacher, why not learn from my teachers and learn the best I can from everybody I meet. One time, Zig's car got stuck in the muck. M U C K the muck in Texas. The soil in Texas is just different. It has so much oil in it. In Georgia, we have red clay and mud, but in Texas, it's muck. You have to. You shovel up dirt, you have to push it off with your boot because it sticks to the shovel. Well, anyways, Zig's car was stuck in the muck and he called. After trying and trying and trying, he finally called a tow truck to come get it out. Zig said, a young, straggly boy, kind of, you know, his clothes were disheveled and his hair was kind of rough, and he had on a cap. And he said, where are the keys? And Zig said, I looked at him and said, you're not going to try to drive this out, are you? I've been trying to drive this out for an hour. That's why I called you. And the young kid said, well, well, would it hurt anything if I tried? Zig said, well, I didn't have an answer to that. So I handed in the keys and said, be my guest. Zig said, I had a little bit of an attitude. Be my guest. You know, I've been trying for an hour. I can't do it. Zig said, the young kid got in it and he rocked it forward and rocked it back and rocked it forward and rocked it back and rocked it forward and drove it out. Zig said, I was standing there. He said, I could hardly believe it. He said the young kid was so embarrassed for me that I had called him to come help him out. When it was a simple rock the car forward, rock it back, rock it forward, rock it back, and drive it out process. Zig said, the kid was so embarrassed for me, he started making excuses. And he said, oh, sir, I just got lucky. I just got lucky. He said, this. This could have happened to anybody. He said, it don't feel bad for calling me. So I'm not even going to charge you for coming out. Zig said, no, you are going to charge me, and I'm going to pay you your full price, and I'm going to apologize to you. He said, you see, son, I thought you wouldn't be able to do it because I'm older than you and I have more experience than you in the world than you have. Maybe I don't have as much experience as you have in getting cars out of the muck. But I thought, I have a lot of experience with driving cars. And he said, I want to apologize and I want to thank you because today you became my teacher. I learned from you. Thank you. And he paid him the full price. I never will forget hearing that story. You see, when you're listening to this story and I'm listening to this story, here's what goes through your head. Wow. That's the kind of person I want to be. I want to be a person of humility. I want to be a person of gratitude. I want to be the kind of person that knows how to borrow brains from other people. Whether it's your tax accountant or your physician or your pilot or the guy who comes to get your car out of the muck when it's stuck. You know, when we start coming across to other people of, oh, I already know that you cut off your nose to spite your own face. Always be listening and always be learning. I think, and I say this with all humility, I think one of the reasons I know so much stuff, people ask me all the time, how do you remember so much stuff? It's simply because I look at everybody as my teacher. People younger than me, they can teach me things. My grandchildren have taught me so much about my iPhone that I didn't know. What if I had the attitude of, I'm older than you, you're not telling me anything you see, that would be hurting myself. I just am very glad. Say, could you show me how to do this? Could you help me with this? People love to do that. I have discovered and, you know, the sooner you adopt a mindset of a learner. May I tell you something? The better off you're going to be.

It is a powerful, powerful truth to communicate with others. Thank you. Boy, I really appreciate that. You know, I learned a lot from you today. It meant a lot for me to have you share your thoughts with me.

I think one of the my problems, if I could just share it with you. Growing up, my father was much older. My mother and father were two of the most different people you'd ever meet. My father was 42 years old when he married my mother. She was 21, so. So there's 21 year difference in their age. And I was kind of raised by the time I was 10 years old. My parents were married a couple of years, then I came along and I'm their only child. Of course they both passed away now, but. So when my father was like 44 years old, I was 10. And having a 44 year old father. Having a 10 year old kid is not the easiest thing in the world on either one of them. And of course my mother was younger and, and so the, the thing that was interesting is my father had this attitude towards me of, well, you ought to know how to do that. And part of that was because he was older and he had so much experience, but his communication towards me was, well, you ought to know how to do that. Some of that came out of or sprung out of the fact he was older and he knew how to do so many things. I can just remember him telling me, well, you already know, you should know how to do that. And I'm thinking, how did I, how am I supposed to know how to do that? I've never been taught. But you know, that trait served me well and still does with the attitude of, well, you ought to learn how to do things. Now there's a big difference between you oughta and here's where my downfall was. You ought to already know how to do that versus you ought to be willing to learn how to do that. So I've had to make that little fundamental shift in my own heart. Maybe you've had that happen to you. Maybe somebody, you know, chewed you out because, well, you should know how to do that. Well, don't be upset about that, be grateful for it and just turn your lemons into lemonade and say, well, you know, maybe I didn't know how to do it, but I can learn. That's a powerful, powerful truth. You know, someone said you don't, you know, you don't know everything, but you can learn. One of the smartest days of your life is the day you say, you know, I know I don't know everything, but I can learn. I can listen. I'll never forget when I was in seminary. Dr. Charles Stanley was a pastor of First Baptist Church, Atlanta, had a worldwide impact on his TV program called In Touch. Perhaps you've seen it. His son Andy was going to school. Andy and I were in class together and Dr. Stanley, Andy's dad, visited us one time, visited Andy and was there, going to class with us. I'll never forget this because I was so excited that he was there. And he's a world famous, you know, pastor and preacher. He's retired now and in his sunset years of life. But he would sit on the first row and he'd raise his hand and ask questions. And I looked over at Andy and Andy was like, oh brother, my dad's sitting here asking questions in class like he's a little Kid. And. And he's the president of the Southern Baptist convention. You know, 36, 000 churches, 15 million members. And he's sitting here asking questions on the first row. But you see, it's a big difference between being a pastor and being a seminary professor. A seminary professor is a scholar. One who's devoted his whole life to studying Greek and Hebrew and church history and. And pastoral ministries. And on and on and on it goes. And Dr. Stanley was primarily not focused on being a scholar as much as being a pastor. So he's asking all these questions. And Andy was just sitting there looking down like, oh, I'm so embarrassed. And I was sitting there. Cause I was happy. I was excited because that's my approach. I got news for you. If you're sitting next to me in class and you get embarrassed by people who ask questions, I would keep you embarrassed the whole time. Because I'm not afraid to raise my hand and say, I don't understand. I'm confused. Could you help me? Well, Dr. Stanley asked questions. After it was over, I was talking to Andy. I'll never forget this. I said, andy, don't be embarrassed about your dad asking questions. That's because. Do you know why your dad is world famous? Do you know why your dad is pastor of a huge. Do you know why your dad is Dr. Charles Stanley? Do you know why? Because of what you just saw in class. It's called humility. It's called I don't know everything. It's called I want to learn. You see, the day you wake up to you don't know everything, a fundamental shift is going to occur in you. And you're going to start realizing that whether it's the girl giving you change at the pizza parlor or whether it's your mother or father or brother or sister or a speaker or a pastor or the dog catcher or the guy who's come to get your car unstuck out of the mud or the muck. They might know something you don't know. And if you're willing to listen and learn, it's going to help you to be a better person, a smarter person. And are you ready? Are you ready? And a wiser person. I love learning. And it doesn't matter whether it's someone older than me or younger than me, red or yellow, black or white, it does not matter. Everybody knows at least one thing I don't know. And therefore everyone's my teacher. I hope today's thoughts have been helpful. I promise you this has to be something you do Intentionally. It has to be something that you do deliberately. You can't just say, oh, okay, I'm gonna start listening to everybody. That's not what I said. Not, I'm going to keep listening to everybody, but I'm going to start learning from everyone. Don't be afraid to ask a question. When you say, you know, I just heard what you just said, I'm a little bit confused. Could you help me? I just want to ask a couple of questions. You're going to watch a whole different posture occur instead of, I already know that. And they say, that is so interesting. Thank you for sharing that with me. Could I. Could I ask a couple of questions? Can you feel the difference? Can you feel the respect? Can you see what happens? And it draws people to you like a magnet because they realize you have humility. A person who's proud and arrogant is someone all of us avoid. But a person who is full of humility and is willing to ask questions and show respect and confidence and understanding in talking to you will create for you a better life, a better future, and better relationships. I don't know about you, but if I ever met you and we started talking, it wouldn't be long before I would say, thank you for sharing that with me. That was really helpful. I learned a lot from you today. You might be like I was and think, wow. Well, I mean, I just shared something that is so simple, I thought everybody would already know it. No, there are a lot of people who don't know the things you know. Share them, and when people share with you, thank them, be gracious, have a heart of humility, and it's going to help you to become a wiser person. I trust today's podcast has been helpful. Continue on our journey together to become a wise sage as we learn and grow together in the days ahead. Thank you so much. Talk to you soon.

For more information about this podcast, please visit www.becomingwiserpodcast.com.