Conquer Your Fear of Public Speaking

In most surveys, the two biggest fears that people have are, number one, being burned to death by fire, and number two is public speaking. Can you imagine those two items, those two experiences being so closely linked that a person would fear more than anything being burned to death by fire or having to stand up and speak in public? Well, today I'm not going to tell you how to overcome being burned to death by fire, but I am going to tell you how to overcome your fear of public speaking.

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rohm.

Hi, I'm Dr. Robert Rohm and I have been speaking for probably close to 70 years now. I was the master of ceremonies at my five year old kindergarten graduation way back in 1954. Yep, that was a long time ago, wasn't it? Oddly enough, I still remember my speech. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the First Methodist Church kindergarten graduation exercise program. We hope to present to you tonight our amateur efforts of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. And then I introduced Goldilocks. I introduced the Three Bears. And then I introduced all my other friends who were leaves and trees and rocks and other pieces of equipment in the story, other items in the story. And then we proceeded to have the play Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Then afterwards I came back up and thanked everyone for coming and then turned the program over to our teachers who gave us our five year old kindergarten graduation diplomas. Now, I don't know everything that was going on back in those days, but I do know one thing that must have occurred. A couple of my teachers got together and said, hey, this kid likes to talk. This little boy likes to stand up and say something. So why don't we put him out in front and let him become the master of ceremonies. I still have the picture of me in my white tuxedo as I welcomed everyone and gave my speech. And I jokingly say that's when I also learned my favorite Bible verse. There's no business like show business. Well, I think, you know, there really isn't a Bible verse that says that, but I sure enjoyed it. And I didn't understand why until many years later when I began to understand personality information. As most of you recall, my company is called Personality Insights and we do training with the disc model of human behavior, teaching people that some people are very dominant, they're outgoing and task oriented, others are very inspiring. They're outgoing and people oriented, while others are very supportive. They're reserved and people oriented, and others are very cautious. They're reserved and task oriented. So we teach this model and we help people in our trainings to understand how to communicate to all four different personality styles. One of the most important things you can ever learn, really is your own communication style, how you tend to communicate with others. And that may be the way that comes natural to you, but it might not be the way that's most or best received by other people. So in our Speakers bootcamp, we train people in several different areas. But before I get into that, I wanted to share with you a couple of things that I think would be very, very helpful. My grandson, when he was in the fourth grade, asked me if I would come and teach his entire 4th grade class of 10 year olds how to become speakers, how to become public speakers, how to become motivational speakers. And since I have more confidence than ability, I said, sure, I'll be happy to do. And then I thought to myself, what have I gotten myself into? Well, the day came, the day arrived for me to go to his school and teach his fourth grade class how to become speakers. And honestly, I didn't know what I was going to say. And I was trying to think of something. I knew they were only 10 years old and they were children, but still they would understand whether or not I had taught them anything about public speaking. So I got there and I was still wondering, what am I going to say? And I sat down in the class. The teacher introduced me at the appointed time, and it was just like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. So I went around the room and I asked each one of them to clearly tell me their name. And so one by one, each student, including my grandson, all told me their name. And then I said, now we're going to do that again. Only this time, I want you to stand up when you tell me your name. So one by one, they stood up, they told me their name, and then they sat back down and I said, congratulations, you all just took your first step in the right direction to becoming an effective public speaker. The secret to being an effective speaker is to stand up and to say something. They say that the best speakers in the world are those that four words really capture their speaking ability. What are those four words? Have something to say. So when you have something to say, you stand up and you say it. You appear as a public speaker or as a speaker to be a leader. You appear to be smarter or more knowledgeable than Others, because you're standing up speaking, you appear to be more influential because you have the ability to stand up and speak and say something. So one of the things that we did that day was allow each one of them to stand up and speak. And I told them, isn't it odd? Isn't it fun? Isn't it interesting that you told me your name sitting down and not one of you worried about that, but when you had to stand up and say it, that seemed to be a little scarier. Well, really, public speaking is just learning to stand up and speak. It's learning. You and I could go to lunch and we could sit across the table from each other and we could have a nice long lunch and talk to each other and you would not think anything about it. However, if you had to stand up and speak to me or other people at nearby tables, it might seem a little frightening. Yet that's what public speaking really is. It's learning to stand up, to have something to say and to simply say it. Now, I want to encourage all of you who are listening today that speaking is not as scary as you might think that it is. One of the reasons I always enjoyed it, even though I didn't understand personality information way back in 1954. But the reason I enjoyed it is because the I type personality, those that are outgoing and people oriented, seem to enjoy public speaking perhaps more than any of the other three personality styles. The reason they enjoy it so much is because their personality is stand up and be seen, speak up and be heard, and let everyone see you do it as you are being appreciated. And the thing that's so amazing to me is even though I didn't understand it, I still did not know how to do it very well. It is a skill set that needs to be developed. Well, I spoke over the years from, you know, time to time in different places. And I was in my second year of college in 1969. 1968. 69, my. My second year of college, and I was taking a speech class and our speech teacher told us one story, and I'm about to share that with you as well, that alleviated all fear of public speaking. How could one story, how could one illustration. How could one example have such a strong influence in my thinking? Well, I'm going to share it with you right now, and you see if it does not do the same thing to you. Our teacher, Dr. Seymour, I'll never forget, he said, today I'm going to share with you a little secret that will keep you from ever being afraid to being a public speaker again the rest of your life. Well, we were in speech class and even though I wasn't that afraid of standing up and speaking, I still had a little bit of fear, a little bit of trepidation about it from time to time. And here Dr. Seymour is telling us, I'm going to give you a story. I'm going to give you an example. I'm going to show you how to overcome all fear in public speaking. Well, I was all ears. And everyone else in the class was also. Here's a story Dr. Seymour told us. He said, suppose I could not sleep and I'm out one night. I just, I'm having a hard time sleeping. So I decide to go for a walk. And I walk down the street. I'm just trying to maybe get a little exercise, something to give me a little bit, make me a little bit tired so I can go back home and go to sleep. But I'm walking down the street and I live in your neighborhood. You and I are neighbors. And I walk by your house and it's 2 o' clock in the morning and I'm just out walking, trying to wear myself down so I could perhaps get a little sleepier and go back home and go back to bed. And I passed your house and I noticed something. As I pass your house, I noticed, I think I see flames coming from the roof. Is. Is their house on fire or is that just the fireplace putting out flickers of embers of fire? Or is that an actual. And I look closer and I walk towards your house and I see, wow, your roof is on fire. And I know you live there and I know you're probably asleep and I know it's 2:00 in the morning, it's the middle of the night, and I think to myself, my friend lives there and I have a very, very important message to let them know that their house is on fire. However, it's two o' clock in the morning and I don't want to bother them, I don't want to upset them, I don't want to interrupt their good night's sleep. So I just go on my way. I continue to walk down the street as I look back and see your house being engulfed in flames and the fire getting bigger and better, bigger to your house burns to the ground. Now, what kind of friend would I be to you? I hope you're doing the same thing that happened to me. When I heard this story. I thought, my goodness, are you saying that I was your friend and you walked by My house. Why? I would hope you would beat the door down. I hope you would throw rocks in the window. I hope you would do whatever you had to do to convey your message. Because the message is more important than the messenger. You see, you have something to say. You want to tell me my house is on fire. So Dr. Seymour said, you know, let's run through that scenario again. I walk down the street, I see your houses on fire. I recognize that it really is on fire. And I go up and I beat your door down. I throw rocks into your window. I do whatever. I start yelling. I do whatever I have to do to wake you up, to let you know your house is on fire. You come down, you see your house is on fire. You call the fire department, they come and put the fire down, and you hug me and thank me. You're so grateful. Because I had a message, I had something to say, and I woke you up, and I delivered the message. Because the message was more important than the messenger. The message was more important than what you thought of me, how you feel about me, what you think about me, or anything else. The secret is the message. And when Dr. Seymour told us that day, it's somehow another that was in 1969 that stuck with me. And I have never forgotten it to this day. And you see, when I get ready to speak, I don't think, what are they going to think of me? How do I look? Are they going to like me? See, that's all about me. But I think I have something important to share. I want to talk about personality information. I want to share with the audience information that can make a difference in their marriage, in their family, in their business, with their associations. And I want to teach them the value of being able to stand up and share something. You see, there are different groups of people in your audience. Some like results, Others like recognition, Others like relationships. Others like being right. Some like power, others like people. Others like pace or predictability. And some like procedures. And then there's some that are very firm, while others are a lot of fun, and others are very friendly. And even more others are more factual. So you see, just learning that those different groups exist and they are in your audience makes you appear to be a better leader, smarter and more knowledgeable and more influential in what you have to say. I want to let you know of a great opportunity, because my favorite thing that I do is our upcoming Speakers Boot Camp. The Speakers Boot Camp. We only have it twice a year. We have it in April, and we have it in October. We have those events in Atlanta, Georgia, and we bring in a staff of four different personalities. Think American Idol. Those who come to our training, we let them know in advance, prepare a 15 to 20 minute talk and you are going to have a panel of judges who are going to help you to encourage you, to motivate you according to the four different personalities. We'll have a D judge, an I judge, an S judge, and a C judge. That's the dominant judge. We have an inspiring judge. We have a supportive judge and a cautious judge. And they listen to your talk and then they share with you how you can craft and mold and make your presentation even better. We have people from all walks of life. We have professional salespeople who have told us they have tripled their income. We have teachers. We have moms, dads, parents. We've had professional baseball players. We have people come because they want to learn the skill set of standing up and speaking. It is a skill set that can be learned and you can learn it. Our training is three days long. It's here in Atlanta, Georgia. And you're able to come. We take care of all the details in advance to prepare you. Now, I don't know where you are on your journey, but I promise you this. Listen carefully. Warren Buffett, who is one of the wealthiest men and well known investors in the world, was once asked, since you graduated from Columbia Business school back in 1951, looking at your whole career, you've devoted your whole career to in the stock market and learning how to develop business acumen in learning how to be a better businessman. I saw the interview where a young lady said, there are many things that you have learned to do right. Then she asked this question, what is the one thing you wish you had been taught that you did not know how to do back when your career was starting in 1951? Without hesitation, Warren Buffett said two words, public speaking. He said, I did not know how to be a public speaker. He said, I had to take training, I had to learn. I had to stand up in front of stockholders and I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm talking about. I mean, these people have invested their fortunes, their life savings with me and I want to appear that I know what I'm doing and I come across. So he said, public speaking is one of the greatest skill set you can ever learn and we can teach that to you. And you may be good and just want to get better, but whatever your situation, I hope you'll look into our next upcoming Speakers Boot Camp and be part of it with us. I shared all this information today. Even if you don't come to Speakers Boot Camp, you've gotten some great tips, some great information that I've shared with you today that I've learned along my journey as a professional motivational speaker and trainer. If you want to know information, go to our website go to personalityinsights.com SBC that stands for Speakers Boot Camp. Again personalityinsights.com SBC you can see the dates of the next upcoming training. You can plan on being in Atlanta area that we have the Atlanta Airport, one of the busiest airports, biggest airports in the world. You'll be able to fly in here on a Sunday afternoon. We have the training all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, then fly out Wednesday evening and go home with the greatest asset in your personal life and business, the ability to stand up and speak. I hope something that I've shared with you today is helpful that you can start to implement in your own life. I gave you some really good tips about speaking. Come be part of Speaker's Boot Camp where we give you the whole enchilada, everything you'll need to know about being an effective and powerful effective public speaker and communicator. I'm Dr. Robert Rome. Thanks for taking the time to listen to this. I look forward to being with you on another podcast coming up real soon. Thank you so much. God bless you. Bye bye.

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