Embracing the Present and Finding Contentment in the Here and Now

Have you ever felt like you were trapped between I can't wait for something to happen. And yet you're stuck in the here and now, day by day, waiting for an event to happen in your life. Well, it happens to all of us. And today I'm going to share with you what I consider to be the solution to this hurry up, hurry up. Not yet, not yet. Situation that all of us face from time to time. Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Room author and world renowned speaker as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good, spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rohm.

Hi, I'm Dr. Robert Rome and I want to share with you today what I consider to be a trap that all of us tend to fall into from time to time. It seems like that all of us want things to happen in the future and sometimes we want them to happen faster than they're actually able to happen. I know when I was growing up, I could hardly wait to drive a car. I mean, I saw people driving and I thought, man, I'll be so happy when I get to drive a car one day. And then you finally wait and then you get your learner's license when you're 15 and you can drive around with your parents and other adults who teach you how to drive. And you're thinking, man, I can hardly wait till the day I get my license that I can drive by myself. And you get your license one day and off you go, you're in the car all by yourself without any other adult or any other supervision. And then all of a sudden you realize, this is a little dangerous. There are things I don't know how to do. I should have paid more attention while I was in the learning process, as I was trying to figure out how to do this, instead of putting all my focus on, I'll be glad when I am finished with the learning process so I can do this on my own. It is attention. It's a dilemma and we all face it. Here's what I've discovered. I've discovered be where you are, focus on what you're doing at the moment and pour your mind, effort, life and attention into that. And don't worry about, I can't wait till this is over and I'll be glad when I move on to the next thing. Because the next thing you may not be prepared because you didn't pay enough attention in the here and now while you're living day by day. It's true, in school we think I can't wait to get out of school. I want to graduate, and I want to go on and do other things with my life. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait just a second. Would it be wiser to focus on what am I learning today? What am I trying to accomplish in this class that will help me learn the most when I do get out of it? And in the car situation, what if I focus on learning how to drive this car and asking questions instead of putting all my time, effort, energy in? I can't wait till I move to the next level. It's a real tension that we all live with when we're single. Oh, I just can't wait. One day I'm going to get married. And then when we get married, we find out, well, you know, this wasn't exactly as easy as I thought it was going to be. I have discovered and found out that there are things that I didn't know about this. And then we get interested in asking other people for their advice to help us do better. I once read a poem that I thought was really, really helpful. It goes like this. When as a child I laughed and wept Time crept But as a youth I dreamed and talked. Time walked when I became a full grown man Time ran When older still I daily grew, time flew Soon I'll find While traveling on time gone. You see, all of us are in a situation where we are in a hurry. We're rushing to try to get somewhere. And then when we get to where we wanted to be, we find out that we're really not prepared for it. I can believe that it's true that sometimes we're in such a hurry that we miss life. I mean, I was thinking not too long ago about how excited I was to see my first child come into the world. Little Rachel. She was born in 1973. I was so excited to get to be a dad, and I learned how to be a dad. But it was a painful experience for me because I had never done that before. I didn't know exactly how to do it, but I did it the best that I could, day by day. And I got advice from other parents, from other dads. And how do you do that? How do you learn how to be a father? I mean, you don't go to school to learn how to do that. So I asked around and I saw other fathers who played with their kids and spent time with them. But then I had to go to work, and I had other things that I had to do, and I was constantly busy. Can you believe that? Was over 50 years ago. I blink in her whole childhood, her whole growing up, her whole dating, falling in love, going to college, getting married. Poof. It all happened, it seems like overnight. And yet I'm very, very grateful that someone reminded me years ago. This will go fast. Don't look forward to the time that one day your kids are grown and gone. One day you'll be empty nesters and you'll have the house to yourself. No, no, no. That's not the way to do it. The way to do it is Be fully Listen carefully. I'm going to give you the tip. Be fully engaged in where you are today. Be fully engaged in what you're doing today. If you're growing up. Some of the I know many kids listen to this podcast. If you're growing up and you're 10 years old, here's the best advice you'll ever get. Be 10 years old. Enjoy your 10 year old years. Don't want to hurry up and be a teenager. Don't want to hurry up and go to college and get married and have a job. Now. Just be 10. If you're a teenager today, value your teenage years. You're a young adult and a big child. You're between two different times in life and you'll never be there again. Learn to listen. Ask questions. Take notes. Find other people who have lives and you would like to have a life like theirs. Maybe they're successful in business. Perhaps they're involved in sports or church or education or business. Learn to ask questions about people that you admire. Don't just I'll be glad when this is over. That is the worst possible way to live. Boy oh boy, I wish somebody had shared this to me a lot sooner. I have found that people make the big mistake and it is a huge mistake of wanting to hurry up and get finished with what they're doing so they can move on to something else. If you hear or if you ever catch yourself saying this sentence, warning, Warning. Get ready. Well, I'll be glad when this is over. I believe you're making a big mistake. Well, I'll be glad when this is over. Here's what that means. I am not paying attention to where I am right now. I'm not fully engaged in what I should be doing at this juncture of my life.

Learn to say to yourself on a daily basis, today is the only day I have. I need to be fully engaged and fully committed to this day. Someone once wisely said, yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. The only thing we really have is today. And it's a gift. That's why it's called the present. I love that because that captures in just a brief thought what I'm trying to share with you. Learn to be fully present in the moment. I have known people who have lost. Get this. Maybe you're an adult and maybe you're in sales. I know people who have lost huge accounts because they weren't paying attention in the moment in which they found themselves. They did not stay focused on the customer that I'm dealing with right now. There's a humorous story that really illustrates this. One of my heroes and mentors, Zig Ziglar, used to tell the story about when he first got started. He would sell cookware, pots and pans that were used for cooking. So Zig would go to someone's house and he would do an evening demonstration. He would cook all the food and have everyone sit there. And then he would serve it. And the food would probably be, you know, like a salad. And then they would follow up with the entree and the meat and then some vegetables in the cookware. Sometimes was waterless cookware, all different kinds, in order that people would buy it so they could enjoy the beautiful, wonderful cookware that Zig was selling. Well, on one occasion, he was at a house and he booked himself so he could do his first presentation at 6 o'. Clock. He got there at 5:30. Usually the situation lasted about an hour and a half, almost two hours. So he figured he'd be there from 5:30 to about 7:30. Then his second shift, his second evening meal would be at 8:00'. Clock. So he had to drive somewhere else and get everything all going for the second seating for him to do his presentation with his cookware. Suzy would get there at 5:30, set everything up, talk to the people, welcome them, and then he would cook them dinner. And then after dinner, he would do the presentation and he would let them know how much the complete set of cookware was. Or if you perhaps just wanted to buy one of the pots or pans, you could do that as well. But it was the best cookware in the world and everybody should want to buy it. Well, on one occasion, a woman sat there and she said, this was such a great meal. This was so delicious. I would like to buy it. Zig looked at her and he said, I would love to sell it to you, but I'm running a little bit late. I'll come by your house tomorrow and pick up the check, if that's okay. She said, that'll be fine. That's great. Just come by. She gave him her address so he could take off and go to his next engagement. So he went to the next engagement, he went to the next event at the house where he cooked the meal, talked to everybody, and nobody bought anything. The second time, it was just a flop. Nobody was interested by, this is a great meal, but now we're not really interested in buying cookware. Was he going home kind of half excited and half defeated because he had made his first sale? He had made a big sale at the first dinner, but not so much at the second one. But he was okay. So the next day he went over to the house where the lady met him at the door, and she said, you know, I've had a little time to think about this, and I've changed my mind and I've decided I'm not going to buy the cookware.

I hope you can feel the angst that was inside of Zig. There he had a lady who was ready to write him a check and pay him for the cookware. And I mean, he was going to make a nice profit, a nice profit on the sale of that cookware. But he wasn't fully engaged in what he was doing. He was already thinking about, what do I have to do next? And because of that, he didn't pay attention and wait five minutes for the lady to write him a check because he was off and running to the next experience. You know, I heard Zig share that story with me and others many, many years ago. And for some reason, I thought to myself, that makes sense. It makes sense to me that if you're pouring your heart, mind, body, soul, lifetime and attention into any situation, don't hurry up and get through with it so you can go do something else. That's very, very foolish. And you won't hear this. Our world does not teach this kind of philosophy, this kind of truth that I'm sharing with you right now. Why? Because the grass is always greener somewhere else. Oh, I've got to go take care of that. Oh, I need to be in a hurry to get to my next appointment. Oh, I've got something that's going to happen next year. Oh, I'm looking forward to next summer's vacation. I'm looking forward to graduation. I looking forward to getting married. I'm looking forward to our first child coming. I'm looking forward to our second child coming. And the next thing you know, one day you're sitting around and you're looking, and here's what you Think, wow, life passed me by and I forgot to live it. I was so busy in a hurry trying to get to my next thing that I forgot all about the thing I was involved in and doing today. I know that as you listen to this, different ideas and concepts probably come to your mind. And you're thinking right now. Listen carefully. You're thinking right now. Yeah, there's some things I'm involved in right now, at home, at school, at work, at play, with friends or family, and I'm not really into it very much. I'll. And then you say the deadly sentence. Here's your warning, your red flag. When you hear yourself saying, or when you do actually say, well, I'll be glad when this is over, that is that. That should be bells and whistles going off because you have missed the point. You say, well, well, if I. If I shouldn't say, I'll be glad when this is over, what should I say? I'm glad you asked. Instead of saying, I'll be glad when this is over. Here's what you need to learn. You need to start saying, you need to start implementing this concept. And here it is. Are you ready? I'll be glad when I learned what I'm supposed to learn in this situation. Here's another way of saying it. I'll be glad when I learn the lesson that life is trying to teach me right now. I catch myself. Listen, I'm a busy person. I run several different organizations, I travel a lot, I speak all over the world, and I'm constantly looking at my calendar, thinking, what's coming up? What's next? And I. If I'm not careful, I will not be fully engaged in the moment in which I find myself. I have to be fully present, fully committed, and fully thinking about what I'm doing right now. And then after that's finished and I've learned what it is I'm trying to learn, I can move on to the next thing. This has been an important concept that I've shared with you and I trust if you need to listen to this over and over and over, stop saying, I'll be glad when this is over. Start saying, I'll be glad when I learned what life is trying to teach me, because that will help you be fully present. You will learn what life is trying to teach you, and you'll become all you are meant to be. I'm Dr. Robert Rome. I hope these thoughts have been helpful. I look forward to visiting with you on another podcast real soon. Thank you so much. Have a great day and God bless you. For more information about this podcast, please visit www.becomingwiserpodcast.com.