How to Follow a Good Healthy Path In Your Life

Do you remember in school you were taught the three Rs? Reading, Writing and arithmetic. Now, technically, arithmetic doesn't start with the letter R, but someone had to figure out an easy way to remember the three R's. So they came up with reading, writing and arithmetic. And I suppose Those are all three good Rs, but I have three better Rs for you today.

Welcome to Becoming Wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rome.

I think one of the most important things we can all recognize is how life works. I want to be a wise person. I'm sure you want to be a wise person too. That's why you're listening to this information about how to become a wise sage. When I was in graduate school, my major was administration. My minor was in Psychology and Counseling and family systems. My PhD minor was in counseling. And I really enjoy that because I studied so many different methodologies that are used in the world of counseling. They're basically about eight different philosophies or designs to the counseling world. And I'm not going into all of those today because that's what you do in graduate school. I really enjoyed learning about them and using them because I think all eight have some merit. Sometimes some counseling methods work in an excellent manner for people and sometimes they don't. So it's really good to have sort of an eclectic approach. There's another word I learned in graduate school which means a little bit of everything in order to see what works best with a person. But getting Back to the three Rs, Dr. William Glasser was a psychiatrist who lived years ago. He's passed away now in California. And he was an excellent therapist and a very, very brilliant man. And he came up with the three Rs that he used in his therapy. But he really taught a broader view of the three R's. And here's what they were. He said, you will be a mentally and emotionally healthy person if you learn to use the three R's. Here's what they are. Face reality, accept responsibility, and do right. And we're going to break those three down for you a little bit today. And I find them to be incredibly healthy. I find them to be incredibly helpful because they really do focus on what it means to to live a wise life, face reality, accept responsibility, and do right. And they're easy to remember because they are the three R's. Again, let's Break them down and take a look at them, and I'll share with you why I think they really are an excellent way to be a wise person, to become a wise sage, because they follow, I believe, the same structure that life follows. Let's get started. First, face reality. Have you ever had a situation that you just did not like? Someone said that denial is the shock absorber of the soul. I think that's true. When we get into a tough situation and we just don't want to face it, we create denial. We hope that what we're hearing is not true. We've heard some bad news. We heard about a friend that was in a tragic accident or some passed away, or we're in a business deal that all of a sudden starts to fall apart. Or you get a pink slip. And that's not something ladies wear under their clothes. It's a pink slip that says, you have officially been terminated. Or maybe you're in a situation that you just don't understand something. I know that's been true of me. My background has been primarily in education and in ministry. When I started working in the area of business, I very quickly learned this is a whole different ball game. I mean, education's wonderful and I love it. I've graduated from five different colleges. I'd go back to school tomorrow. I just enjoy learning, and I enjoy being around people who are interested in learning. Someone said, you'll be the same person you are right now, five years from now, except for the people you hang around with in the books you read. So. So I have a kind of a lifetime journey of I just want to learn things. I want to be smarter, I want to be wiser. And so, you know, that's just. That's just me. And you'll be the same person you are right now, five years from now, except for the people you hang around with and the books you read. So I'm constantly reading something that interests me so I can learn a little bit more. But. But what does this have to do with. Face reality. Boy, in the business world, I had to face reality that I didn't know how to do business. I didn't know what revenues were. I knew what internal revenue was. I knew that was irs. But what are revenues? Someone had to explain to me, revenues are like income. Revenues are like cash or money that's been generated in a business. What I'm telling you is I had to face reality. See, just because you don't know something doesn't mean you can't learn it. I believe Anybody can learn anything if you're willing to take the time to study it. One of my favorite writers is Dr. Scott Peck. He wrote the book the Road Less Traveled, and it sold over, I think, 5 million copies. That's not a bad print run for a book. Dr. Peck said one day his lawnmower broke. He said he took it over to his next door neighbor. He said, my next door neighbor could fix anything. He said, we put the lawnmower up on his workbench. He said he started tinkering with it. He said, I made the statement. I've never been very good at fixing anything. He said, my neighbor looked at me and said, Dr. Peck, how long have you been lying to yourself about that? Aren't you a psychiatrist? Scott Peck said, it completely caught me off guard. I said, what are you talking about? I'm a psychiatrist. You think I'm lying to myself about something? He said, yes. You just told me you weren't very good at fixing anything. He said, I've got a feeling that since you went to medical school and became a psychiatrist, you could probably learn how to fix a lawnmower. It's not that hard. Scott Peck said, it just caught me totally off guard. He said, then my neighbor looked at me and said, the reason you don't know how to fix the lawnmower is because you've never taken the time to learn how to fix the lawnmower. He said, it was like a shock to my system. It. It. I was thinking, I'm just not very good at that. And my neighbor pointed out, you've been lying to yourself. You can get good at fixing a lawnmower if you're willing to take the time to learn how to do it. See, Face reality. The reality is I could learn how to fix a lawnmower. Listen to me. I believe you could learn how to fly jet. I believe you can learn how to do open heart surgery if you're willing to study and take the time and go to school and practice and practice most people want. We live in an instant society. We just want to be able to have anything in about 30 minutes without a whole lot of effort and without a whole lot of work. So listen, start off with face reality. I'm in a mess today because. And just be honest. Even if you just get alone and talk to yourself. I'm in a mess today because I've lost my job. I'm in a mess today because my business failed. I'm in a mess today because I don't understand how to do something. Face Reality. That's your first step towards moving in the right direction. Number two, accept responsibility. See, accepting responsibility means this is my fault. One of the most powerful yet difficult sentences I've ever learned in my life is this. If I'm not the problem, there can be no solution. You've got to chew on that for a little while. See, that's deep. If I'm not the problem, there can be no solution. See, if I'm not the problem now, I'm a victim. And I just have to live my life based on whatever comes my way and whoever treats me the way they do and whatever happens to me me is someone else's fault. However, if I am the problem now, I can work on me. I can change the situation. Sure, it won't happen overnight, but I can deal with the reality of my own responsibility. So step number one, face reality. Step number two, accept responsibility. What can I do in this situation? I don't think you need to get hostile towards someone. I don't think you need to get angry. I don't think you need to get bitter. Somebody walks out on you, somebody does something to you, you can still accept responsibility. This is powerful and it goes contrary to our culture. See, accepting responsibility sounds something like this. Hey, I lost my job today, okay? Well, this isn't the end of the world. A lot of people have lost their jobs. Maybe there's something better out for me. Let's say somebody walked out on you and broke your heart. I am so sorry. And that hurts. We've all, whether it's been with children or parents or mates or friends, we've had someone turn against us in a relationship. Well, ask yourself one question. What part did I play in that? How could I do this better next time? What could I do to become a better person? Listen, what I'm about to say to you, you may not like, but I have found it to work. It is not my place to fix my wife. I've never been a woman. I've never been a wife. Therefore, when my wife does something right or does something wrong, I don't think that much about it. Because here's what I think. I need to become the person that she needs to have as a good husband. I need to fix me. I want to be the best husband in the world. Now, I say this jokingly. So, ladies, hang on. I am every woman's dream husband. And I don't say that because I'm looking. I am very happily married. But my goal is fix me, be a good husband, work on me, don't try to control, cajole, deceive, twist or anything else in my relationship with my wife. Just how can I be a good person? How can I be a good provider? How can I be a good lover? How can I be the one that she knows? Wow, he cares about me. Willie Nelson taught me a long time ago, you were always on my mind. I learned that. So I tell her, I said, I just want you to know I was thinking about you today. I love you. You mean a lot to me. See, that's accepting responsibility. Well, sweetheart, I just don't think you're measuring up as my wife today. And I, you know, I just want to let you know I'm on the market for looking for a new model. See, that's not responsibility. That's a big problem. I would just encourage you never to go down that road. Face reality, accept responsibility. And here's the third one. Wow, I love this one. The third one is do right. Just do right. My motto I learned in my men's fellowship group and from my 85 year old mentor, Just do the next right thing. I know all of you can't see this. I have a band on my arm and it says, just do the next right thing. That's my motto for life. Because when you don't know what to do, I promise you, I promise you this will always work. Just do the next right thing. See, the next right thing may be call somebody and tell them how much you appreciate them. The next right thing may be put on your pajamas and get a good night's sleep. The next right thing may be brush your teeth. The next right thing. Maybe get some protein in you. The next right thing may be save some money and don't spend it all. There's so many things you can do that are the next right thing. So listen carefully. I, and I don't want to go meddling, but we all have health issues from time to time. May I tell you something? If you want to increase your health, eat some good healthy food. Uh, I have friends and we've probably all smoked sometime in our life. I read that if you stop smoking, your lungs will actually heal themselves over a period of time. The tissue will restore itself. Now, I'm not picking on people who smoke. You know, someone asked me if I thought smoking would send you to hell. And the answer is absolutely not. But it makes. It may make you smell like you've been there. So that's just a little joke aside, I just think smoking sometimes is not good for your health. So if you Stop doing that. I think you'll get healthier because your lungs will replenish their tissue. What about drinking? We've all had drinks from time to time. I had a friend, Dr. Randy Askins, who is a pathologist. He let me watch him do an autopsy one day. When he took the guy's liver out, Randy said, feel right here. And I did. His liver was as hard as a brick. Randy said to me, that's alcohol. That's called cirrhosis of his liver is getting as hard as a rock. That right there. I thought to myself, wow, you know, if we could unzip our chest and take a look at our lungs or our liver or any other part of our body to see how it's doing, and we realize, you know, that's a direct result of me doing some things that are harmful to my body. I might change some of my habits overnight. And again, I'm just using those as some simple examples of just doing what's right. Whether it's in your health, whether it's in your relationships, whether it's with your money. How about this? Save some money for a rainy day. My father used to say to me, robert, don't let money burn a hole in your pocket. I didn't know exactly what he was talking about. I thought, I don't even feel that it's on fire. I realized now he saw I had some quick spending habits. It's not a bad idea to put some money away for a rainy day and don't let it burn a hole in your pocket. So there you have the three Rs. Face reality, accept responsibility and do right. Those three Rs are easy to remember and I trust in the coming days. If you want. Listen carefully. If you want a good, healthy path. Healthy mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, socially, Those are your three R's. Dr. Glasser used these in his therapy and had tremendous results. He saw people who had severe mental issues and severe emotional and even physical habits and deficiencies get their lives straightened out when they were willing to use the three Rs. So as we move ahead in life to become a wise person, remember, face reality. Just talk about it to yourself or to someone else. Call a spade a spade. Call what it is into reality by simply saying, someone hurt my feelings. I lost my job, something bad happened to me today, and talk about it with a good friend or even to yourself. Face the reality of that. Accept the responsibility. Okay, now what can I do about this? You know, you're talk. Play the hand that was dealt you dance with the one that brung you kind of thing. Just deal with the responsibility of what can I do in this situation and then do what's right. You'll never go wrong by doing the next right thing. I hope these are helpful. I know they sure help me and I trust they'll help you in the days to come. I'm Dr. Robert Rome and I look forward to our next podcast together. Until then, be blessed in all that you do. We'll see you again soon. Thank you so much.

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