Learning How to THINK! Thriving Through Thoughtful Choices

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good, spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rohm. What I want to do today, just for a few minutes, is share with you. If I gave this talk a title or if I gave this talk a concept or a training topic, it would be learning how to think. I don't think I'm better than anybody or smarter than anybody, but I do think I have learned how to think and I've got ideas that I'll share with you that you can use. I believe that will help you financially, they'll help you physically. There's a scripture that says, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he as you think. It's going to have an effect on your health if you worry all the time versus if you're a person of faith versus a person of fear. That's going to affect your health. The way you think pretty much determines your behavior. My friend Gary Ryan Blair says behavior never lies. If you want to see what a person's thinking, watch how they're behaving. A few weeks ago, I sent a tip out. I hope you all read the tips every week because they always have a story in them. It was a story of a man who was helping a young boy, teaching him how to use tools. And he only had one rule, always if you take a tool, write it down and bring it back, you can use all my tools. And one day, the guy couldn't find one of his tools. So when he saw the teenager that afternoon, he thought to himself, he stole one of my tools. He's broken his word and he's not who I thought he was. And for the next two or three days, every time he saw the kid, he thought to himself, I'm disappointed. He has betrayed me. He lied to me. He didn't keep his word. He's a thief. And then after about three or four days, he was cleaning up his shop and he dropped something and he reached out and lo and behold, he saw the wrench that had been missing. It had fallen behind his bench. And so everything he believed for the last three or four days was wrong. But he believed it because what he saw made his mind think a certain way. In other words, I like to say like this, if something walks like a duck, talks like a duck, quacks like a duck, flies like a duck, swims like a duck, waddles like a duck, and looks like a duck, I tend to think it's a duck. Now I realize it could be something with a duck outfit on it. I realize it could be a lot of different things, but more than likely I'm going to think based on what I see. Behavior doesn't lie. And so I will give you a few ideas and I just share these with you from my heart. And again, they're out of my experience. These aren't things I read in a book. These are things I have experienced. Number one is if you don't know something, don't beat yourself up. Just take the time to learn it. I'll explain. I have a story or an example with all of these. If you don't know something, like, I'm real frustrated because I don't know Spanish. I should have. I should be fluent in Spanish. But guess what? I'm not. Okay? That's because I blew it off in high school and I never. Now is it possible for me to learn Spanish? I think so, but it's. At least I understand. I'm not a bad person because I don't know Spanish. I haven't taken the time to learn it. Let me give you an example. Scott Peck, who was a psychiatrist, was cutting his grass one day. This is in one of his books. He said, my lawnmower broke. He said, I pushed it to my next door neighbor who can fix anything. He said, I helped him pick it up. He put the lawnmower on his tool table that he fixes things and he started tinkering with it to see what was wrong. Scott Pick said, I made the comment. I've never been very good at fixing things. I don't know how to fix a lawnmower. He said, my neighbor stopped for a second and said, aren't you a psychiatrist? Scott Pegg said, yes. He said, how long have you been lying to yourself about this? And Scott Pick said, it called me so off guard, I'm a psychiatrist. So his neighbor said, how long have you been lying to yourself about this? He said, what are you talking about? He said, my neighbor said, if you can go to medical school and you can become a medical doctor, I'm pretty sure you can learn how to repair a lawnmower. He said, the problem is, here's the punchline. You've never taken the time to learn how to do it. If you want to learn how to repair a lawnmower and go into the lawnmower repair business, you could do that. However, you probably don't want to do that and it's okay to take your lawnmower to somebody else to repair it. But don't say I'm not good at repairing lawnmowers because I've never been good at fixing things. That's a lie. The truth is you could become a lawnmower expert if you took the time. So that has helped me a lot in my life. I wish I just did know how to do it. But then I say to myself, wait a minute, you don't know how to do this. It's okay to hire somebody to do it and it's okay to learn how to do it, but it helps keep me balanced and not in a lie and deceiving myself by saying, well, I've never been very good at that. That's just a very cheap way out. The reason I don't know Spanish is I haven't taken the time to learn it. I'm learning a little bit more and more as I go, but I have found that concept to be very helpful. Number two, see the end of what you're trying to do from the beginning. See the end from the beginning. This is one of Stephen Covey's seven habits in his seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of them is they learn to see one of the seven habits is they learn to see the end from the beginning and then they sort of backtrack. Okay, if that's what it's going to look like at the end, what do I need to do at the beginning? I bought April a lawnmower. She loves a riding lawnmower. I love having a wife who loves to cut the grass. We have a seven acre farm and she loves to ride the lawnmower. Well, I, a few weeks ago I changed the oil in it. What a mess. So the biggest problem was the oil spill. The screw that holds the oil cap on came off. So I finally got everything fixed. But I will never do that again. So I asked myself, how should I have done that and how will I do this next time? See, that's the end. I went to Home Depot, I got a pair of needle nose vice grips because the place to put this in, that you unscrew, there's very little space. So I got a pair of needle nose. A regular pair of vice grips wouldn't fit Nirvana, I found. But you see, you see my thinking. I went to the end and said, how can I do this without making a mess? Because the first time was a disaster this morning. I went, I put on the needle nose pliers, I put it on it. I, I tightened it up because I had only Hand tightened it before. In other words, I will never have this problem again because I went to the end of how to do it and backed up, got the needle nose pliers. So see, the end from the beginning is a great way to think. Number three, ask yourself, what could go wrong? Most of you've heard the story of my $30,000 I threw in a dumpster because I didn't proofread something. Let me tell you something, I that, that was best $30,000 I ever threw away in my life. Because when I print something, I've had interaction, I'm looking at several of your faces. That interaction with some of you about printing stuff, oh my goodness, it is the scariest thing in the world because I mean, I really believe this. If you have everybody in the world look at it and proofread it and as soon as you go to press, you're going to find a mistake. It's almost like you can't see it until after it's printed or something. I don't know what this phenomena is, but, but let me get, let me explain to you. Here's what I mean by what could go wrong. I have a friend who's a pilot in the military. And here's what he told me. He said, you know, the way I was trained as a Christian. This is what he said to me. He said, the way I was trained as a Christian was very different than the way I was trained as a pilot. I said, what are you talking about? I didn't kind of relate to those two concepts. He said, when I became a Christian, he said, this is wonderful. Everything's going to be great. God loves you. He has a plan for your life. He's going to guide you and help you and bless you. He said, that sounded good to me. He said, when I was trained as a military pilot, here's what they said. You are flying a machine that has gasoline and bombs on it and it's on fire.

That doesn't sound very safe, does it? This thing has fuel, it has bombs, it, it has missiles, it's on fire. The firepower is what's making it move.

What if something goes wrong? He said, About 90% of my military training was trained in.

Crisis. What are you going to do if you launch a missile and the missile doesn't launch? What are you going to do if you have a fire? What are you going to do if one engine, what are you going to have two engines? He said, all of my training as a pilot was what could go wrong. Now he was sharing with Me, he said, you know, I really wish I thought this is a good point and I just share with all of you, I'm not trying to preach. He said, I really wish that somebody had said, now that you're a Christian, please be careful. You have the world, the flesh and the devil against you. You better keep your eyes open and you better be careful who you hang around with. You better be careful where you go. You better be careful what you watch. You better be careful what you read. You got to be careful who your friends are. You be careful what you do because now you're a target of the enemy. He said, I think that would have helped me to be a little bit more careful. So again, without getting off on that, that helps me a lot to ask myself, what could go wrong? How could I print 30,000 copies and not proofread it? Double check it, spell check it. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. I am probably overly careful with what could go wrong, but if I have to air I'd rather err with what do I do if this thing catches on fire? And now I know what to do versus it's all going to be fine and there will never be a problem. They see that's not a good way to think. A better way to think is what could go wrong? Number four. I got this from Zig Ziglar. Learn to think the day before vacation. That's a great concept. Learn to think the day before vacation. Now, I don't know if y' all ever heard Zig teach this or not, but here's what he would say. Have you ever noticed when you're going on vacation, Saturday, for example, you're going on vacation Saturday. About Wednesday, you start making a list.

And you start do I have my clothes? Is everything clean? Do I have some cash? Where am I going? Do I have my tickets? Who's taking me to the airport? What times? About Thursday the bar gets a little bit higher and then Friday it gets even really high. What time is it? What time do I need to be there? What's the weather like today? And he course he. Without going into a hundred comments, I think all of you get the idea. If you know, Saturday you have a nine o' clock flight. About Wednesday, Thursday and especially Friday, you're going to start thinking differently. Do I have my bag? Have I packed everything? Drive my passport. You see, you don't want to wait till you get to the airport to find out. Oh, the gates changed, the flight time has changed. I forgot my passport. Oh, oh no. There's traffic and there's more traffic than I had anticipated. Some of y' all have heard me tell the story. If I have a flight at noon, I'm one hour from the airport, from where I live. I always leave. It used to be three hours, now it's four. Because I just. It's just I can't control traffic. TSA baggage, traffic, check in. And I've also learned, once I get through all of that, I have a laptop and a phone. I have something to do. If I'm sitting at the gate, I am not going to have a heart attack and drop dead because I'm trying to beat the traffic, the gate change, the TSA agent, or 101 other things that I. A wreck that I can't control. You see, that's the concept of planning ahead the day before. That's a very, very good concept. And if any of y' all have ever taken a trip, you know, a day or two before you started thinking differently, where's my suitcase? See, we all have children who borrow our things, and they don't tell us until you start looking for them, and then they're over. At that one day, I asked Susanna, I said, susanna, have you seen my hairbrush? Because she would sometimes use it. She said, yeah, I left it at Laura Williams house. What? At least I thought she. At least she was honest about it. I said, would you mind running down to Laura Williams house and get my brush again? If you're doing that the day of your travel, good luck. But a day or two before you start thinking differently, where's my stuff? What do I need? How do I get this lined up correctly? That's a great one. Number five. Always be open to new ideas. I'm sharing with y' all how I look at time and how I learn to think. Can I tell y' all something? I'm open to new ideas. I don't know everything. I don't know it all. Recently, within the last year or two, I was having a phone call, and somebody on the call said this. I thought I was right and I was sharing my view. Another guy thought he was right. He was sharing his view. Somebody else thought they were right. He was sharing his view. And then he said this. His name was Scott. Scott said this, y', all, I don't want to be right. I just want to get this right. When he said that, I. I wrote that down. I had never heard that before. I don't want to be right. I listen, I don't even want to be right about what I believe spiritually. I Just want to get it right. I want to make sure I got that right. I don't want it to be. Well, I. My opinion is. Or I thought or. Well, my way of thinking is, no, I want to get it right. I want to get it right. Can I tell y' all something? Here's where all of us have had the biggest problem with what I'm talking about right now, telling our children something. Have you ever tried to tell your child something and they didn't want to hear it?

Have you ever told your child something and you knew out of your experience you were right and they thought you were an idiot?

Have you ever tried to tell them something and you knew for sure? I've lived this. I understand this. You see, here's what they're thinking. They're thinking that you want to be right so much that you're holding it close to your heart, and therefore, they are all enmeshed with you and being your child and you trying to control them and yada, yada, yada. I have learned one of the greatest things. It took me a long time, and it's dangerous. I have said it more to my grandchildren than my own children. Here's what I say to my grandchildren. I have six of them. I say, listen, I have something I want to talk to you about. I'm going to tell you what I really believe. I'm going to give you my best wisdom on this, but I want you to know something. You can do whatever you want to. Then they're able to listen when I say, you know, I'm going to tell you the straight story on this. I'm not better than you. I'm not smarter than you, but I am older than you, and I have more experience than you. So I'm going to tell you what I think, and you can do whatever you want. To my grandson, my oldest grandson, they wanted to give him a shot at the doctor's office for sexually transmitted diseases. He said, no, I don't really need one. The nurse said, no, you really ought to take it now. Watch how she's thinking. That is really the safest thing for you to do, and you should go ahead and get it.

He said, I think. I think I'm going to pass on that. She said, well, I think I'm. I'm kind of insisting. He said, can I call my mother?

Nurse said, sure, call a mother. Mother said, if you don't want to get it, don't give it to him. He told the nurse, he said, my grandfather has taught me that sex is not for adults. Sex is not for educated people. Sex is not for mature people. Sex is for married people. And I'm not married. She probably never heard that in her whole life. Here's another one. Practice the 10 second rule. You're getting ready to leave the house. It might be you by yourself. It might be you and your mate. It might be you and your children. You stop for 10 seconds and here's what you say, where are we going? Do you have your books? Do you have your lunch money? You have your music piano books? You have your gym clothes? Well, whatever it is that you're doing, you have no idea how many times this is. I'll stop at the door and here's what I'll say. I did it this morning. Where are you going? I'm going to Home Depot. Are you going anywhere else? Well, yeah, I've got to go by the bank. Get anywhere else. Well, I guess while I'm out, I could go buy Chick Fil A. I can kind of add that and get me a. An iced coffee. Okay. I wrote these things down on my piece of paper. All of that took less than a minute. When I got home, guess what? I didn't forget anything. I had everything I needed. How many of you went to the store, got something, came back home and say, I forgot to get the ketchup. I thought I'd remember it. I went all the way to the store. Or here's the worst one. I went across town and I bought something. Then I came all the way home. Then I realized all the way across town, two doors down from where I just went, is another store I could have gone to while I had been there if I had just stopped and thought about it. This is good stuff. We're on the right team. Going, going the right direction. God bless you, and I'll see you here. I'll see you there. I'll meet you in the air. For more information about this podcast, please visit www.becomingwiserpodcast.com.