The 3 Parts of a GREAT Attitude

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rohm.

So I'm in a spacecraft and I just landed on planet Earth. And the reason I came is I'm trying to clear something up that I can go back to my planet planet and explain to everyone and help them with. Hi, I'm Dr. Robert Rome. Today we're going to be talking about a topic that has intrigued me for years. And the topic is what is an attitude? Almost all of us would say that we've heard someone mention, you need to have a good attitude. You need to change your attitude. You need to get a good attitude. It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude in life. Your attitude is the most important thing you possess. We've all heard things like that. We've all heard the importance of having a good attitude. As a matter of fact, I live on another planet and the word has gotten all the way back to our planet that the secret to having a great family, a great business, a great life is having a good attitude. But they sent me to find out what is an attitude. I mean, do you buy it at the store like you buy a gallon of milk? Where do you go to get a good attitude? What are the components of it? What does it look like? Is it something that you get from another person? Do you buy it in the store? Again, I've been thinking about this for a long, long time. Because attitude is paramount. It make or break you in your life. It helps you or hurts you in your life. It will make or break an organization. It will make or break a family. Your attitude is so important. And so we're going to take a look today. I think there are three components that will help you to develop your attitude. There are three components that you can actually observe or look at or study to see if you have a good attitude. There are three parts that you can work on yourself to greatly enhance or improve or even create a good attitude within yourself. So let's take a look at these three parts. And again, I'm kind of talking to you like, I think it is sort of intriguing. I'm talking to you like I'm from another planet and I just met you and I'm saying, help me understand attitude. I want to have a good attitude. Because everybody says it's important. Well, what are the components of it? And so here's what I believe would Be the best answer. Here's what I believe would be the three parts of a great attitude. Number one, it's your words. It's what you say. It's the words that come out of your mouth. It's the words that you speak every day. Are they words that are true? In other words, are you telling the truth? Are they, are they words that are encouraging or noble to another person? Are the words you're speaking? Are the words, are they right and not wrong? You're not misleading someone. You're saying right things to people and trying to help them go in the right direction. Are the words you're speaking, are they pure without any deception? You don't have a hidden motive. You don't have a some agenda that you're trying to hurt someone. You're just speaking purely and honestly and openly. Or the words you're speaking, do they meet the needs of another person without some ulterior motive? You're trying to trick them or get something from them. You're just speaking words that in a nutshell would be lovely. The words you're speaking are just lovely and kind to another person. Are the words you're speaking. Are they words that you can be proud of and not ashamed? If someone else were listening, would they say, wow, that was really good advice you gave them. That was some excellent information. Words that are admirable or words that are helpful to another person? If they are the just the very best words you could speak. If they're also, let me go one, I'll push this just a little bit. Have you ever had someone talk about you behind your back and it got back to you? Well, that works both ways. Say, what do you mean by that? If I'm talking about you behind your back and it's something that's unkind or hurtful or deceptive, that's not good. But if I'm talking to you or if I'm talking to someone else about you behind your back, but it's things that are good. If I said, wow, they are really a great person, wow, they really are nice. I saw them just the other day help a elderly lady across the street. I just thought to myself what a good person they are. And that got back to you, you would be really proud of that. And I tell you where this really, really works well for those of you who are married, if your mother in law or father in law, if they're living and you tell them, you know, you did such a great job raising your daughter or raising your son, you did such a Great. They are such a wonderful person. I promise you, when the word gets back to the person you're talking about that you were talking about them, but you were saying things that were good and wholesome and encouraging. And they say, wow, they were really talking about you the other day. But everything they said about you was wonderful. That's what I'm talking about. I'm saying the words that come out of your mouth, the words that you speak would be the first part of your attitude. It would be the first part of creating an attitude. So again, getting back to, I just got off my spacecraft, I'm talking to you, and you looked at me and said, well, attitude is made up of three parts. The first part is the way you talk. It's the words that come out of your mouth. It's the words you say, it's the words you speak. It's the words that you communicate that come from your lips, your tongue, and your voice box every day. That's the first part. So if you want to develop a good attitude, the first part will be focused on what are you talking about? What are you saying? What words are you using? Number two, the second part of having a good attitude would be based on your behavior or your body language. You see, people see your action. They see the way you behave. They see the way you act. Those actions came from your body. Those. Those words that you spoke came from your mouth, which is part of your body. But your behavior comes from the rest of your body. Your hands, your feet, your shoulders, your eyes, all of those are actions that can be read. All of us have heard, wow. You need to learn how to have better body language. What is body language? Body language is the language of your body. Your body language is the way you act. It's the way people watch you. If you rolling your eyes, looking disgusted, crossing your arms, like, oh, brother, people can read that. You can read that. It's very important that you pay attention to how you act, how you behave, because behaviors and actions come from your body. So the first part would be the words you say, the words you speak. The second part would be the way you act. It would be your actions. You want to have a good behavior. It will help you to have a better attitude. You want to have a better attitude, it will be the way you behave. You see, they're interchangeable. That's why I've spent some time thinking about this. Listen, I want to have a good attitude. I want you to have a good attitude. But it doesn't come by magic. It doesn't come by magical thinking. Today I'm going to have a good attitude.

And I'll have a good attitude. That's not the way it works. The way it works is what am I saying, what am I speaking? What words are coming out of my mouth? And am I saying things behind people's back that if they get back to them, they'll be good? Because if they're going to be bad, that's not going to help me have a good attitude. It's not going to help them have a good attitude towards me. How am I behaving? Do I have a smile on my face? I once read, get this, I once read that it takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. So if you want to have a really ugly face, frown a lot, because that creates a lot of muscle work in your face that causes your face to sag and drag and look bad. Have you ever seen somebody and you looked at them and they just really look young and healthy? It's because they aren't wearing their facial muscles out by having a negative, bitter, hateful attitude with their facial facial muscles. They're smiling a lot. They're not wearing their face out. So I want to keep my face young and looking good. And the way to do that is by smiling more and using less muscle power in my face and not wear those muscles out and smile more to keep my face young and healthy. Those are called behaviors. They come from our body. It's the way we act. It's what other people see when they look at us. Do they see us smiling? Do they look at us saying, hey, how are you? Good to see you today. That's two parts to how to develop a great attitude. The words you say and the way you behave or the way you act. Then the third component, the third part of how to develop a good attitude or how to check yourself to see if you have a good attitude are your voice tones. I cannot emphasize. I kind of saved the best for last because people miss this. What are your tones like? Are they pleasant? Are they uplifting? Have you noticed today that everything I've said, I've tried to be encouraging? I want my voice tones to be good. I don't want them to be demeaning or critical. I don't want them to be sarcastic or hurtful or hateful. I want my voice tones. And if you don't believe this is true, if you have a dog, and probably all of us have had a dog at one time or another, I love dogs. But get your Dog and pet your dog's head and just say, you're just the stinky dog. You just are so ugly. And your dog will wag his or her tail. They'll be so happy. You know why? They don't know the words. They don't speak your language, but they sure speak your tone. They recognize tone. You could just say, out of all the dogs on this street, you're the worst one. And they will wag their tail because they're listening to tones. And I don't suggest you do that. I would rather say, you're a great dog and I just love you so much. Come here. Dogs hear tones. So do people. You can also pet your dog and say, you're a good dog. You're a good dog. You're the best dog I ever had. Your dog will put his or her tail down between their legs and walk off. They're afraid of you. Why? They heard your tones. Your tones were demeaning. They were critical. They were sarcastic. They were hurtful.

People are the same way. I want my tones to be uplifting. My wife and I were in Cancun, Mexico, and we were having dinner, and afterwards, we went into the lobby where everyone was dancing and having a great time. And we noticed an elderly couple. The elderly couple, they probably were in their, you know, late 70s, early 80s. They were older than us, and we were watching them dance. And thoughts went through my mind like, I wonder if they're on their honeymoon. They just looked so happy. So anyway, after the music died down and they sat down, we walked over and decided we'd like to get to know them. And, you know, we were all just sitting around and they were serving, you know, different beverages and nuts and crackers and cheese and all these things at the. In the. In the dance area at the. Where people were gathering. And we started talking to them. And my wife looked at them and said, now, are y'. All. Are y' all on your honeymoon? They said, oh, no, no. We've been married for over 60 years. We thought, wow. To each other. They said, yes, we've been married. We've celebrated. We just celebrated our 60th anniversary. And, you know, they got married in their early, early 20s, so I guess they were over 80 years old at the time. We didn't feel like it was right to ask them, well, how old are you? But we could tell they were up in the years. And my wife, bless her heart, she looked at them and she said, what is the secret to having a great marriage? And I'll never forget this. If you had asked me to guess what they were going to say, I would have given a thousand answers, and all of them would have been wrong. My mind was just cranking out. I wonder what they're going to say. That was a great question. What is the secret to having a great relationship? And before I could even blink, before I could even think very long, he leaned forward, he looked at my wife, and he said, tone. He said it so quickly, it was like he'd been waiting all day to answer. He said, tone. And I wanted to make sure I heard him, so I repeated. I said, sir, did you say tone? He said, yes. Your tone. He said, you see, if you have a good tone towards other people, it will create a great relationship. My tone towards my wife is always loving and kind. Her tone towards me. He said, we don't agree about everything all the time, but when we disagree, we still have a good tone.

I was reminded my father once said to me, robert, it's okay to disagree, but it's not okay to be disagreeable. Now think about that for a minute. You know what disagreeable means? It means you have a bad tone to what you're talking about. Your words that you're saying, your behavior, your actions and your tone are all wrong. You're being disagreeable. But you can disagree by saying, you know, could we maybe look at another option there? Could we maybe look at another way of seeing this? So there you have it. And I got one other little bonus thought for you. It's your words. The words you speak. It's what you say. It's what comes out of your mouth. It's your actions, your behavior. Those actions, those behaviors came from your body. They came from your life. They came from the way you were acting. And people could watch it and see it. And those sounds, those tones came from your voice box. They came from your body, your words, your life, your tones, your tones that were good and encouraging and uplifting. Here's your bonus. I have some great news for you. Are you ready? You and only you are in complete control.

All three of these powerful aspects of your life. I mean, unless somebody has you in a headlock or unless somebody has you in twisting your arm for the most part, you get to choose what you say every day. You get to choose the way you act and behave every day. You get to be the one to choose your voice tones. Unless someone is forcing you to say things or to act a certain way or to have a certain tone, then you. And that would be very, very rare.

But 99.9% of the time you are in complete control of the way you talk, the words that come out of your mouth, the way you behave, the actions that come from your body and your tones, the sounds that come. May I tell you something? And I just want to encourage you. I love you and I'm grateful for you listening today. Those are the three things I focus on. And people say to me, wow, you really have a great attitude. That was one of the things that I was thinking years ago. I do. I'm glad I have a good attitude. What does that mean? How can you tell? I have a good attitude. And I took the time to think it through and say, oh, I get it. The reason I have a good attitude, the reason I want to have a good attitude, the reason I want you to have a good attitude is because these three things are in your complete control. So let me encourage you today. Say words. You got to practice this. It's real easy to let something slip that you say, I shouldn't have said that. If you can catch yourself and say, I shouldn't have said it, then catch yourself and don't say it. If you can behave a certain way, I shouldn't have behaved that way. Well, then maybe you should catch yourself and say, I'm not going to behave that way this time. I learned that's not a good behavior in your voice tones. Practice these in the tones that you say. Be encouraging, be uplifting, and I promise you people will be saying, wow, what happened to them? They sure have a great attitude. Hope this helps. I hope you will continue to work on these and and develop the attitude because it is true. Your attitude is the most important thing you possess. It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude in life. Go get them and have a great attitude today. Thank you so much.

Download the accompanying PDF for this episode at www.becomingwiserpodcast.com 004.