The Sage's Journey: Unraveling the Path to Wisdom Part 2

We are learning to become a wise sage. But a wise sage involves some effort, some hard work and some self discipline. We looked at five key components of becoming a wise Sage in our last time together. This time we're going to look at the next five in hopes of becoming a wise sage. Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rome author and world renowned public speaker as he shares stories and involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rohm. I'm Dr. Robert Rohm and as I share these concepts with you, I want you to know that I'm sharing them with you from personal experience. I have been around the block. I'm 74 years old. I have five college degrees. I've been a school teacher, a school principal, a father, a grandfather, a business owner and a whole lot more. These are things that I have learned along the way that I have found to help you and me have a more successful life. I'm not giving you ideas that I read in a book. I'm giving you ideas that I have personally experienced. Number six is the one that we're going to look at today. We looked at five last time. This one may be the toughest one you have ever heard in your life. As a matter of fact, I get more pushback on this one when I'm talking to young people than any other one. You will not hear this talked about in our culture. You will not hear this talked about very much.

Buckle up, here it comes. Number six. If you're going to be a wise person, a wise sage, you have to understand delayed gratification.

Let me tell you what delayed gratification means in one word. Wait.

And do you know where I see delayed gratification being abused more than anywhere else in life? In our human sexuality?

May I share something with you? Sex is not for adults. Sex is not for educated people. Sex is not for prepared people. And sex is not for trained people. According to God, sex is for married people. Now, you can do whatever you want to. I'm not going to follow you around. I'm not going to get a baseball bat and chase you down the street. You can do whatever you want to do. But here's how I know that I'm right concerning this. First of all, God created sex and he gave it to you as a wedding present. It is the gift that keeps on giving. But the reason I know that it's true. When I've talked to people in high school and college about their sexual activity, I would always ask Them the question after they were bragging about their sexual prowess and how many girls they had had sex with, I said, would you want to marry any of these girls? And they all said the same thing, without exception. No, I don't want to marry a girl that slept around. I want to marry a virgin. I want to marry a girl that no one else has slept with. And then I would ask the question, well, how do you think that's fair that you're sleeping with all these girls and yet you don't want to marry any of them. You want someone else to, but you want to find someone that's pure, that you have, that is a virgin that no one else has slept with. I told you this was hard. Some of you may be clicking this podcast off right now. I got news for you. It's still true that having a relationship with another person outside of the boundaries of sex creates a lot of heartache, creates a lot of sad, difficult situations that take years to overcome. I want you to understand being wise. I know what you're thinking. I want. I know what you're thinking. Well, what about you? What about you? Did you get involved with other girls? Actually, I am grateful to say that when I got married, I was still a virgin. I had never slept with another girl before I got married. My parents told me, growing up, you will have opportunity, but it will be more hurtful and long term emotional damage somehow. Another. I listened, but I think it was the football players that I played football with in college that really helped me to see the truth. Because every time I talk to them about all of their sexual conquest, when I asked them, is this somebody you would marry? Oh, of course not. I don't want to be with a girl like that. It is an unusual. We want to. I'm telling you. I think I'll go on to the next point, but I want you to understand this is challenging. And if you want to experience delayed gratification, you will be glad you did. You'll never be comparing your husband or your wife to all of the other conquest that you experienced in life. Number seven. Words have consequences. If I had to pick any out of the top 10 that, I would encourage you to be careful. Know that your words have consequences. I do motivational speaking and training. And when I tell people the most important thing you can possibly do is learn to speak correctly, say things that are good, that are pure and positive, words will make a difference. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb. Your words are the most important, powerful Aspect of your whole life. The way you talk. All of life. Hear me well. All of life, hear me well. All of life boils down to the way you talk. The way you talk to other people, the way you talk to yourself. I am shocked. I am shocked. I speak to major audiences and I'll tell them this and they'll just stare at me. Nobody takes any notes, nobody. It's almost like everybody looks at me with the attitude of yeah, yeah, we understand, we get it. Life is words important. Everything in life boils down to your words. And then we'll go outside and I'll hear people using foul language or talking about other people or being saying things that are negative and hateful and mean.

Learning that all of life boils down to your words. Practice one day saying only. It took me a long time to learn how to do this. You could hang around me all day long. I'm not going to say anything vulgar, anything hateful, anything sarcastic, anything mean, anything that's going to cause pain or suffering or hurt to another person. Well, Dr. Ohm, do you do that perfectly? No, but pretty close. Because I've discovered almost every problem that I'm involved in or have to clean up is because somebody spoke to another person in a hateful, disrespectful manner. Learn that your words have power. Number eight. Your emotional state.

Is probably the most important area of your life. Not your physical, not your spiritual. I know that shocking to some of you, not your financial.

But your emotional because your emotions are the way you feel about everything. You have to learn to get your emotional life under control. I would say this concerning your emotional life. Whenever you feel your emotions are getting out of control, first of all, recognize the feeling. I'm feeling angry, I'm feeling hurt. I'm feeling frustrated. Recognize what it is. Number two, remain calm. Take a deep breath. Remain calm. And then number three.

Refocus on the reality of what I say right now may cause a lot of problems later on. And I need to remain emotionally stable. I do not need to be. Listen carefully. I do not need to be a reactionary person. I can count on one hand the number of emotionally healthy people I've known in my whole life. You can watch when people get real hostile and angry and bitter and reactionary. They're showing that they have little emotional stability. An emotionally healthy person can bite their tongue, remain calm and be non reactionary. My son in law said to my daughter one day, your father is the most non reactionary person I've ever met in my life. May I tell you something, it was not easy developing that. I got news for you. I have something to say about everything. And I am big time reactionary person. The only problem is it doesn't work and it creates problems. So slowly, slowly, slowly, I have developed the skill set. Don't react. Keep your mouth shut. Learn that your words are painful. Take your time. Breathe deep, remain calm and be loving and kind. That doesn't mean that I never have. I'm not a wimp. I have something to say about everything, in everybody. I've just learned to do it in a correct manner. That creates good health and good emotional energy.

Number nine, recognize in any situation that you're in, three things are taking place. You're going to have to learn some new vocabulary words. It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a book you're reading. I read every day. Almost every day I read a word and I don't know what that word means. What does that word mean? And I look it up. I can ask Siri, what does this word mean? And I look it up because I don't know what a word means. It's going to hurt me. In trying to understand the full comprehension, I'll give you an example. Most people say my house is my biggest asset. Your house is not an asset. Your house is a liability unless it's completely paid for. Here's how you can know. Assets feed you. Liabilities eat you. You see, you have to learn what words mean. That's a whole nother topic. You're going to have to learn new vocabulary words. Number two, you're going to have to learn new systems, whatever it is, whether it's at work. If you get in an Uber, they have a system. If you get in Lyft, they have a system. If you go to the bank, they have a system. If you go to the Dairy Queen, they have a system. If you go to Chick Fil A, they have a system. If you go to McDonald's, they have a system. Everything's got a system. You got to learn new systems if you're going to succeed. I have learned the airline system really well. Why? Because I travel a lot. I have to fall in line with their systems to get seats, to get on the plane, to handle the luggage, to check in, to get my boarding pass, and on and on. The third thing is recognize that people have different personalities. Remember, all of this is under number nine in any endeavor. No, you're going to have to learn new vocabulary words. You're going to have to learn new Systems. And you're going to recognize the people you deal with have different personalities. Ds are dominant, they want results. Eyes are inspiring, they want recognition. Ss are supportive, they want relationships. And Cs are cautious. And they want to be right. All of those are important aspects of dealing with any project, in any person, in any new endeavor. And then number 10. I say number 10. This was a fun one. Number 10, recognize. In all of life, you are, at one point or another in four aspects of every story. In every story, you're going to meet new people. Number two, you're going to fall in love with new people. Number three, you're going to see new people get in trouble. And number four, you're going to see new people get out of trouble. Remember the movie Rocky? We met Rocky. That's step one. Number two, we fell in love with Rocky. What a guy. Number three, Rocky got in trouble. Number four, Rocky got out of trouble. The reason I like these four steps is because. Listen carefully to me. Every great story has these four parts. The Sound of Music. Introduce the audience to Maria. Number two, get your audience to fall in love with Maria. Number three, get Maria into trouble. Number four, get Maria out of trouble. It does not matter. Whatever the story is that has the ebb and flow of these four parts. And the reason being a wise sage helps you is some part of your life you're going to be in one of these four parts. You're going to be in a new situation where you meet new people or new people meet you. Number two, you're going to find people that you really like, and people are going to find that they really like you. And then number three, as you're going along in the new relationship, in the new situation, bumps are going to come along the way. I mean, I have some of the best people in the world around me. May I tell you something? They're not perfect. And neither am I. Bumps happen along the way. Bumps in your family, bumps at work, bumps with your children, bumps with your parents.

It does not matter. Hard times are going to come, but that's just part of the story. And then you're going to get through those together. You know, I discovered that a friend of mine who's a medical doctor said if you break your arm, once your arm is set and grows back together at the place of the break, it becomes stronger than the rest of your arm. It's like your body learns to overcompensate for that break and make a stronger connection for that bone where it was once broken. It's now stronger than any other area of a bone that has not been broken. So again, that's just the third part. You're going to have bumps along the way where there breaks. And then fourth, you're going to get through those and you're going to get on the other side and you're going to get past the bump, past the trouble, past the option. So let me go through them again. Number one, introduce yourself or your audience or someone else to something that's brand new. Number two, take the time to learn and grow together and get to be friends.

Real good friends. Grow together, learn together, encourage each other, help each other. Then number three, realize there will be disagreements, there will be times we don't like each other. Today you are not my favorite person right now. That will happen. And then number four, get past it and learn that all of life is learning and growing and continuing to stay on the path. You know, I don't think I'm the smartest person you'll ever meet. I don't think I'm the wisest person you'll ever meet. But I want to be. I want to be a wise sage. And here's why. If life were a game, I want to learn to play the game well. I know how to play Monopoly pretty well. I know how to play Clue pretty well. I know how to play Go Fish and I know how to play Uno. But all of those are just games. Life isn't a game. Life is real. And I want to learn how to play it. And I want you to learn how to play it. To go back. Feel free to listen to these areas. If you've messed some of them up along the way, that's okay. We all have. But learn and grow to become the person you were meant to be. I want to be a wise sage. I want to be a coach, a counselor, or mentor to you. I want you to have a great life. Learn how to play successfully, and we'll all finish as a wise sage together. I'm Dr. Robert Rome. I hope these thoughts have been helpful. I look forward to our next time together. Thank you so much. For more information about this podcast, please visit www.becoming wiser podcast.com.