They Just WARM UP THE ROOM - Understanding the S-type (Supportive) Personality Style

Have you ever met someone when they walk in the room, they just warm up the whole room. It's like they love everybody and everybody loves them. Boy, I sure hope I can become that kind of person. And today we're going to be talking about the supportive personality style and how to be that kind of person.

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories and involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good, spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rome.

The supportive personality style is reserved and people oriented. Now, like the inspiring personality style that we talked about last time, they both really, really love people. Inspiring types and supportive types, we call them eyes and S's are both on the right side of the model of human behavior. And if you'll recall, there are two that are outgoing Ds and Is, and there are two that are reserved Ss and Cs. Well, the Ds and Is are both outgoing, but the eyes and Ss are both people oriented. And because they're both people oriented, sometimes they get lost in the shuffle. Because the supportive type, if they walk in a room, they would prefer you to walk up to them. They're not pushy, they're more reserved. But S types and I types both love people the same. The difference is an I type will walk into the room and want to talk to everybody. And the S type will walk in the room and would prefer you to walk up to them. If we had to sum them up in one word, it would just be the word nice. Isn't that nice? Have you ever been around people who just nice. They're calm. You don't have to worry about them flying off the handle. You don't have to worry about them saying something inappropriate. You don't have to worry about them doing something that's going to get everyone in trouble. They're just nice. If they were an animal, and we sometimes do this just to kind of help give you a frame of reference, they would be a golden retriever. Have you ever been around a golden retriever? I mean, they just are nice. They let little children pull their tails, pull on their ears, get on top of them, ride them. You very, very, very would rarely ever see a golden retriever be vicious with the person. They're just lovers. They just want to get along. If they were a substance, and again, we try to add these just to give you an idea. If they were a substance, they would be water. Do you know what water does water refreshes you? You can drink it. Water refreshes you. You can bathe with it. Water is universal. Everyone needs water. It's all over the world, and most of the world is. You got it made up of water. I just think this is so important for understand there are a lot of people out there, this is the largest in the general population, who are just good people. They're supportive, steady, stable. They love to be or have the feelings of being secure. They love to serve. I mean, it's genuine too. They like to help out. They're very sweet or kind. They have just a sweet, kind disposition about them. They're submissive in that they would rather help than be in charge. They may be a little bit shy at times. They love the status quo. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. They're very sentimental. They have things that they do that they love routine. They usually sit in the same places, like the same foods, travel to the same places. Once they find something they like, they love the routine of it. Another word might be sameness. Stick with what you know, what you like, you know, what you know you like. There is one area, and I have to be fair, because remember, in each of these, I'm giving you many words, 11, 12, 13 words, sometimes mentioning how people are wired. And we use words that edify, that encourage, that lift up, not words that are negative, not words that are derogatory, not words that put people down. We give the vast majority at least 11 good words that explain the personality style in each of these different sessions. But we, if you'll recall, we said sometimes the D's can come across defiant, the eyes can come across illogical, and sometimes the S's can come across as a sucker. And the reason not to say that to hurt anybody's feelings is because the hardest word in the whole English language for the supportive type to say, you know what it is. It's the word no. They don't like to say no. They like to say yes. They like to say okay. They like to stay, say sure. They just want everybody to get along with each other. And if you have a lot of this, you're sitting there right now thinking, boy, is that true? I wish somebody had taught me that a long time ago. Because I do need to learn how to say no. I am amused that I remember Martin Luther, the great leader of the Protestant Reformation, said, learn to say no. It will do you more good than knowing Latin. And he was a Latin scholar. So if anyone should know, I guess I have to take it from someone who had to learn how to say no. The thing that amazes me, as I mentioned earlier, it's one of the largest portions of the population, 30 to 35% in the general population, tend to have this personality style and think about who they were. They were history makers, but they always did it peacefully. Dr. Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Paula Abdul, others whose attitude is, can't we just get along? They don't like conflict. They like peace and harmony. If you want to work with them, their basic needs are appreciation, security and assurance. When you say words to them like, you know, I really appreciate you. Wow, I'm glad you're part of this team. You are a valuable member of this organization. You're meeting their need. You're touching them in a place that makes them, here's the word, feel accepted. Let's talk about their strengths. They are very calm, they're dependable, they're easygoing, they're very trustworthy and efficient. Oh, I just enjoy them so much because they're practical, they're conservative, they're very diplomatic, and they have sort of a humorous way about them. But if that is the only tool they have, they're going to end up getting themselves in trouble because you can talk them into doing just about anything. They have to learn to work on not only understanding themselves, but understanding others, because other people sometimes will take advantage of them. They have to learn to say no. They have to learn to say, I don't like conflict, so I don't want to get myself in a position where I get talked into doing something I really didn't want to do. Now, I'm going to give you a great gift. If this is your particular personality style, just learn this. When someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, just say, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. But I already have another commitment. Now, that is a learned response that you may have to memorize. This is for the supportive types because you're special. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I already have another commitment. I had a supportive type say to me one time, isn't that lying that I'm telling someone I had another commitment? Not at all. And here's why. Because your other commitment is to not get talked into doing things that you didn't want to do but you didn't know how to get out of in the first place. So you're able to just say, thank you. I really appreciate that. I already have another commitment. Now. So far, I've never had Anyone come back and say, well, they said, well, just break your commitment and do what I want you to do. Most of the time people respect the fact that you have other commitments and other things you have to do. That will save you a lot of heartache. Now let's talk about what they really look like on a day to day basis. Under control. They're very relaxed, but out of control. They can lack initiative. I mean you don't want to be so relaxed you don't ever get anything done. Under control. They're very reliable. Out of control. They can become very dependent, sometimes even codependent. Under control. They're very cooperative, but out of control. They can be used by others. Under control. They're very stable, steadfast. Out of control. They can become indecisive, not knowing how to make a decision. Under control. They're a good listener. Out of control. They can shut down and not say anything and become uncommunicative. Under control. They're very single minded. Out of control. They can become inflexible, not wanting to bend or getting themselves in trouble when change occurs too quickly. Under control. They're steadfast, but out of control. They can be resistant to change. They only like what they like. They like what they know. They know what they like and don't ever like to change. Under control. They're very soft hearted, but out of control. They're easily manipulated. Somebody can make them feel guilty, put a guilt trip on them and they'll break down and change something that they might not even want to do simply because they are so soft hearted and can be easily manipulated. Under control. They're systematic. One thing at a time. They're mono taskers, not multitaskers. But out of control. They can become slow and make people feel like, come on, get with the program and get this finished.

Under control. They're very amiable, easygoing, but out of control. They can become resentful. And here's why. You know who they're mad at the most? Themselves. Because they get talked into doing things they didn't even know how to get out of. You have to learn to work with yourself regardless of your personality style. Now you might be saying to yourself, wow, I can identify with this. I am a lot like this and that's great. I'm going to share with you how you can learn to work with yourself better if you're not like this and hear me well. This is one of the greatest traits you can learn to develop. Why is that? Because the S types are the salt of the earth. They have the best hearts. They're just good people.

I know so many of them. And you just, you just love them because they're just so kind hearted, good natured, caring people. What are they good at? They make great artists, chefs, childcare workers, counselors. Oh, that's a great area for them to go into because they love to help people. Customer service representatives, department heads, diplomats. They make great flight attendants. They also make great funeral directors. I mean, someone has to do it. They're excellent human resource directors, librarians, managers, nurses. They enjoy painting. They make great painters, pharmacists. They're wonderful pastors, planners, real estate agents to help you find the home you're looking for. They're great researchers, school teachers to help guide you, train you, teach you, love you, and make sure you're getting a good education. They're wonderful secretaries, social workers, supervisors, technicians, veterinarians, loving and caring for pets and animals, and great waiters or waitresses. You know what? They just make great people to know. Now let's focus on them a little bit more. What do they like? They like peace, stabilizing things, helping others. They like a friendly environment. They like to finish the job. Remember, they're not great starters, but they are great finishers because they like to see things completed. They love teamwork. S types consider the feelings of others. That's their primary methodology. How do you feel about this? They like to take their time. They stay with proven methods. They will support you. They really become your best customer. If they are part of your business or part of your organization and they buy from you. They are true blue, steady Eddie and stay with you forever. They're sentimental. They want you to appreciate them. That's why I said earlier, a little word like I appreciate you goes a long way. S types are agreeable. They're compassionate decision makers. In a nutshell, they're the nicest people in the world. They make great loyal friends. They're concerned about how to start, as I mentioned earlier, but after they get going, they make great finishers. That's why even in business, and we're not primarily talking about applications, we're primarily talking about understanding in these trainings. But I would always put an I and an S working together. Why? Because an eye is a great starter but a poor finisher. An S is a poor starter but a great finisher. See how knowing that together. And we'll be talking about that in the days and weeks to come. Once you understand personality information, you can find your greatest fit for a vocation. Is it any wonder that I'm a professional motivational speaker, trainer, teacher, coach. Well, I was a master of ceremonies in my 5 year old kindergarten graduation. So I've been doing this for a while. Somebody looked at me and said, boy, that kid likes to talk. Let's teach him how to stand up in front of everybody. And I've been doing it ever since.

S types don't like insensitivity. Boy, don't hurt someone's feelings. Don't be short, kirk or hateful around them. They won't say anything, but they'll write you off their list. They don't like misunderstandings, surprises, intense, harsh, tough conversations. They don't like sarcasm. They don't like being pushed. Well, what do they want you to be like? If you want to connect with them, you need to be kind, pleasant, caring, patient. Be a person of understanding, and most of all, be gentle. You know, I hope you can hear my voice tones. My third daughter is like this. I have to treat her differently. A little easier, a little softer, a little slower. My wife has a lot of these traits. I have discovered the more I develop these traits, the better my own life goes. Now, this isn't my strongest trait, but if you'll recall, in our earlier trainings we've said we're doing two things in all of these trainings. Number one, helping you to understand yourself. He who is wrapped up only in himself or herself has a mighty small package. Learn to expand, learn to grow. I love this particular personality style and I have been developing it for many years. Not perfect at it, but better than I used to be. S types will be in your family, they'll be in your school, your business, your team, your organization. Wherever you go, you'll find people who are a little more reserved but are just the salt of the earth. If all you remember is this is the supportive type, they want everybody to get along. How can I be kind to them? How can I listen to them? How can I pay attention? Don't buddy and don't cut them off. Listen.

Look them in the eye, smile a lot and let them know how much you genuinely care and appreciate them. It will be in their best interest and it will be in your best interest too. So we've looked at three personalities so far. We looked at the dominant type, they're strong and powerful. The I type, they're fun and exciting. The S type, they're gentle, kind and loving. We're going to look at one more in our next session as we continue to learn about personality information. I promise you I am well read. I'm well read, educated, and I am well traveled. If you learn this information and put it into practice, it'll make all the difference in your life. Your promotions, your relationships, everything goes better. My biggest challenge in my life is I just don't have enough time to connect and do everything I want to. And it focuses all around understanding myself and understanding people. You can learn this, you can use it and become the person you are meant to be. Thank you so much. I'm Dr. Robert Rome and I look forward to to seeing you again soon.

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