Unlocking Success: The Magic of Being Fully Present

Are you aware that there is a secret ingredient that you are carrying around with you all of the time that you may not be using to its fullest potential? Well, today on this podcast I'm going to share with you a little known fact that many people often overlook, which is their secret weapon, the number one thing they can use to help their own personal growth and development and to interact with others to be more successful, more focused and more on target when it comes to a multitude of areas of life.

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rome.

Hi, I'm Dr. Robert Rohm and today we're going to be talking about a secret ingredient. Now, this is not original with me. I want to get this out up front because I have some really great friends and mentors and other people who are in the world of positive motivational speaking and training. Years ago there was a gentleman by the name of Lewis Timberlake and he probably most of the time in the Texas area, but he also spent some time with a dear friend of mine, Pete, in a hosa. And Pete learned from Lewis one trait, one characteristic that made a huge difference in his own personal life. So Pete and I were talking about this and he shared with me the fact that Louis Timberlake focused on the one trait that each person carries with them or has with them that is often overlooked. So what I'm going to be doing, I've kind of modified this a little bit based on my own personal growth and experience, based on my own education and my own travels, to try to help you to see something that maybe you have overlooked. Now you got to hang with me because this one is tricky. It's like taping jello to the wall. It can be done, but you have to sort of work with it to make sure you understand what I'm talking about. I'm asking you to focus on the one.

Aspect.

Of your life that only you can can control.

Are you aware of what it is?

It's the one aspect. In marriage, in raising children, in parenting, in business.

In family, in faith, in any area of your life. Now, you can maybe come up with a few ideas or a few guesses, but I want to put it in a different way and in a different light so you get it. So I'm going to tell you what it is and then I'm going to tell you how it works. Here's the one factor that you bring to the table, that you often overlook. That is the key to. To your success in sales, in business, in your spiritual life, and in personal relationships. It's only two words, so maybe you can remember them. Here we go. Are you ready? Here's the big secret.

Be present.

Be present. Present, you might say. What in the world are you talking about?

Have you ever looked around to see how many people are not present anymore? Have you ever noticed how many people are on their phone or looking out the window or watching TV or doing something else? Next time you go to a restaurant, look around at the tables.

And watch what's taking place. Nobody's talking to anybody anymore. Everybody's on their own phone. And listen carefully. I'm not putting this down. I'm trying to help you to see something. I have a phone. I use my phone a lot. I look at it two or three hundred times a day like you do. However, I have learned that it can be a huge distraction. Now let me show you what I'm talking about. If you're in a meeting with your boss, or your boss is. Or you may be the boss, you're in a meeting and you're watching TV or playing on your phone or looking out the window, that's going to hurt the meeting. The secret in being present is being fully present. Now, this is so hard for me. I many times have to close my eyes when I'm talking to someone. Sometimes I'll put my hands up beside my eyes like I'm creating, you know, like blinders, like you do for an animal sometimes, because I don't want to get distracted. I have the attention span of a gnat. I have a very difficult time staying focused. So when I'm talking to someone or they're talking to me, sometimes I'll say, listen, I'm closing my eyes so I can listen to you more carefully. It is a very difficult task to be present.

It took me years to learn how to do this. I had to have a coach who was older than me to teach me this skill set.

Being present means you have my undivided attention. I'm not listening to anything else. I'm not interested in anything else. I'm not doing anything else. Watch, people. These days, everybody is a multitasker because we all have so much to do. While I'm driving, I'm talking on the phone. I never take my eyes off the road. But I do have a pen and a piece of paper. If I have to jot something down, I'm not recommending that.

I'M talking on the phone. I'm looking. I'm listening to my phone. Tell me some information. Turn left at the next light.

I may be talking now. Watch carefully if I'm talking to you. How much of my attention do you want? 5%? 10%? 20%? We see this often and in the number one area, if you've lived long enough, you know where it is in marriage.

Marriage will be made or destroyed with this one trait. When I was raising my children, one day I was talking to my third daughter, Elizabeth. She was sitting in my lap. I was reading something, looking around.

Disconnected as she was telling me something. Finally, after a period of time, she took her little hands and put them on my face and turned my eyes to look at hers. She said to me, you're not listening to me. And I said, oh, yes, I am. I had my head turned so my ears could be close to your mouth so I could hear what you were saying. I'm embarrassed to tell you this. I was lying. Okay? She said, you're not listening to me. She caught me, but I had my head turned so my ear was close to her mouth as she was talking to me.

She said. She took my head and she turned it. She said, you're not listening to me. I said, I was listening to you with my ears. She was just a little girl. You know what she said? She said, I don't want you to listen with your ears. I want you to listen with your eyes.

That was painful. That's what I'm talking about. Whether it's raising children or in marriage or in business.

You'Re in a business meeting.

I realize what I'm saying may not be popular, and it may not even be something you want to do.

If you're doodling with your pen or paper or on your phone and you're saying, well, I'm just taking some notes. You're hurting yourself. I didn't ask you to agree with this. I'm just telling you what I have found. Knowing that a person is fully engaged and totally present and leaning forward and listening and nodding and communicating. I'm with you. Okay. Yeah, I understand. All right. And maybe you raise your hand and ask a question. What you're going to discover is the secret ingredient is you. You are the secret ingredient. You see, in sales, and you're fully present and you're talking to someone, and you listen and you noticed five sentences back, they said something, but you were listening and paying attention, and you bring that back up. Do you know what they're going to think and what they're going to feel. You're present, you're paying attention, you are here in the moment. Now, all of us carry a self image with us. A self image is your image of yourself.

Do you want to communicate to someone else that you are not fully present and you're not really interested in them and you really don't care what's going on because you have somewhere else you have to be or something else on your mind? I have a friend who's a surgeon. He said, when I do surgery, I have nothing on my mind, nowhere else I've got to be or anything else I have to do. I am fully present.

I can't even blink sometimes because I don't want to miss anything.

One of my friends, Dr. Randy Askins, who is a pathologist, Randy, let me watch him do an autopsy one day. He's brilliant. I said, randy, was it hard learning how to do this? I mean, he completely dissected a person who had died of a brain infarction. He had high blood pressure, 31 year old white male, and died because he had not taken his medicine correctly. Randy said, yeah, it was hard. I said, what was the hardest part? And I saw this look over his face like he was going back in time. He said, it was the first day in medical school. He said, the professor walked in the class. He said, now imagine we're all sitting in med school and we're looking around at each other because everybody knows we all graduated at the top of our class with a major in chemistry or biology or physics. He said, we're all looking at each other checking out the competition. The professor walked in. He said, I thought he had a glass of orange juice in his hand. He said, he looked at all of us. He said, ladies and gentlemen, this is a glass of urine.

He said, then he stuck his fingers down in the urine and he rubbed them on his tongue.

Randy said, we all thought, what in the world is he doing tasting urine?

Randy said, then he looked at us and said, if you don't do what I did, what I just did, I will fail you and your medical career will end today. Randy said, I sat there and thought, is this legal? Can he do that?

Randy said, he passed it around the room one by one. He stood right in front of us and each one of us tasted. Randy said, I didn't even know whose urine it was.

We all had to taste it. When we finished, he stood in front of the class and he said, not one of you noticed? I put my third finger down in the Urine. And I put my second finger on my tongue.

Randy said, we all almost threw up. He had not put the same finger in the urine that he put on his tongue. He switched it in the midst of the exercise. Third finger down in the glass, second finger on his tongue, index finger on his tongue. Randy said, we almost threw up, he said. Then he looked at us and said, you just learned the most important lesson you'll ever learn in being a good physician. Pay attention to what you're doing. Be present. Keep your eyes open. Be fully engaged.

Be there.

You are the secret ingredient. Now, this is one of those podcasts that you're going to have to think about, because the first time I heard this, I said to myself, wow, that's hard, because I have such a short attention span and I have a hard time. If you're in school, do you know how Zig Ziglar used to say, the average person can only stay connected, maximum about seven minutes before their mind wanders off. That's why it takes so much effort to learn to stay connected, to be fully present, to be there, to listen, to force yourself. Stay off my phone. Stop looking around. Stop acting uninterested. Now, if you want a project to see how this works, here's your homework assignment. Start watching other people. When people are talking to them, notice how they're not listening. Watch when people are talking to each other, what one of them may be do. Looking away, looking out the window, looking at their phone, looking at. I'm not fussing at anybody. I'm trying to show you how to build relationships and to be wealthy. You want to build relationships? Stay 100%. My wife is so good at this. She's taught me, keep my eyes on her eyes and listen. It causes her to feel loved. Guys, we're not good at this. Girls are better at it, I think. Lean forward, listen, look in their eyes, make noises, show. Yes. Okay. Thank you. And then, ladies, when someone's talking to you.

Listen for all your worth and be present. It will make a big difference, and it will cause people to feel valued, to feel loved, and to feel connected when you're communicating with them. This is one of those podcasts that you sit back and go, well, I think I already do that pretty good. As you start watching how poorly everybody around you does it. You, like me, will think, maybe I don't do this as good as I thought I did. And you can work on it and develop it. I promise you, it has caused a major step in the right direction in all my business relationships because my customers know I am fully present. I am listening. And the secret ingredient, which is me, is fully here working with you to succeed in all that we do. Good luck on this. As you practice it, it'll make a major difference if you're willing to to take that step of faith and put it into practice day by day. I look forward to our next time together. Thank you so much. I'm Dr. Robert Rome. Hope you've enjoyed this podcast. We'll see you again soon.

For more information about this podcast, please visit www.becomingwiserpodcast.com.