Use These 6 Words Instead of, “I Forgot”.

Have you ever said two of the most dangerous words in the whole English language? They are I forgot.

Welcome to becoming wiser with Dr. Robert A. Rohm, author and world renowned public speaker, as he shares stories involving his experiences and lessons learned in a good, spirited, positive and fun way. Here's Dr. Robert A. Rohm. All of us have said that at one time or another. We've used that as an excuse by saying, I forgot. It might have been, I forgot to get the paper, I forgot to get the mail, I forgot to let the dog out, I forgot to do my homework, on and on and on. But those two words are very common to all of us. Hi, I'm Dr. Robert Rome, and I want to share with you how I trained my psychology class when I was teaching psychology many years ago, how I trained my psychology students in my psychology class, how to quit saying I forgot. It was really interesting because I was teaching kids in the 10th, 11th, and 12th grade, and of course they're 15, 16, 17, 18 years old. And I cannot tell you how many times they would say to me, I forgot, I forgot my homework, I forgot my book, I forgot my notes, I forgot my pen, I forgot my pencil, I forgot my lunch. And I just started noticing that it seemed to be a common thread among all of them. And it was a very acceptable way of acting like everything's okay. I mean, of course you should understand, because I forgot. So over the years, I developed a little technique that I want to share with you today. That happened and how I came about doing this, because to this day, when I run into some of my former high school students, they'll look at me and say, wow, you were the one that taught me how to stop saying I forgot. I never say that anymore. And it all goes back to learning how to stop saying I forgot in your class. So here's the story. So I'm teaching a high school class of kids in psychology and I developed a project. Now listen carefully. It was called a class group project. And so one Friday afternoon, after I'd been teaching for several months, I had it all planned out in my curriculum when I was going to do it. This wasn't the first week of school, but about maybe a third of the way into school, when I'm teaching them a third away into the semester, I'm teaching them about psychology and about human nature and how to understand themselves. On a Friday afternoon, I said this. Attention, class. We are going to have a group project. This is a class project. It's the only one we'll have. This Year. So let me explain to you how this works. This isn't an individual project. This is a class project. It's a group project. Project. On Monday, everyone bring a hard boiled egg to class. Do I have any questions? Does everyone understand? Monday, bring a hard boiled egg to class. This is a class project. It's a group project. And we will be able to start. You're going to love it. We'll be able to start when you all have your egg here on Monday. Then I dismissed him and they were walking out of the room chattering and talking to each other, saying, this is crazy. What do we got to bring a hard boiled egg for? So anyway, so Monday shows up and they're all in class and I said, all right, everybody, everybody hold up your hard boiled egg. And out of about 20, 25 students, about 5 students have their hard boiled egg. And they look at their friends and they say, where's your hard boiled egg? And their friends said, I forgot. And they would look at their friends and say, well, you need to bring it. And so I'd look at the class, very positive, very happy, and I'd say, listen, thank you so much. That was a good, good start. I appreciate, you know, the five or six of you who brought it tomorrow. This is the only time we'll do this, this whole semester. Bring a hard boiled egg to class. And I mentioned that just went on teaching the class, then dismissed the next day. About five or six more had it. But a couple who had it the first day had lost theirs or misplaced it or forgotten it. And they would say, oh man, I had it yesterday, but I don't have it today. I forgot it. I left it at home. It's in my locker. Can I go get it? No, no, no. This is the only time we'll do this all year. This is a class project. It's a group project. We can't get started. Y' all are really going to enjoy this too. We can't get started till everyone has their egg. So be sure and bring a hard boiled egg tomorrow and we'll get started. So now it's Wednesday and about 15 people have it and about 10 don't. And the 15 that have it now everybody's playing into this so well, about the 15 that have it, look at the five or 10 that don't and go where, where's your egg? What's the matter with you? Why are you so irresponsible? Can't you remember to bring an egg? This isn't hard. Just bring an egg. I mean they started chewing each other out. And I'm standing there thinking they're doing all of my work for me because I'm trying to teach them personal responsibility. So I said, I was very lighthearted about it. I said, it's okay, I understand. We'll get started tomorrow. Tomorrow's Thursday. Everybody bring a hard boiled egg. Well, the same thing happened the next day. A few that had it before brought it. A few that forgot it again. Then Friday came about. One full week passed. I could not get 20 to 25 high school 15, 16, 17, 18 year olds to all bring an egg. They were chewing each other out. What is wrong with you, man? Why can't you bring. This is not hard. Okay, so maybe the story gets better. So then on Monday, I'll never forget, there was a girl, her name was Shan Lee. Shan Lee was just. She walked into class. I'm telling you the truth. These stories are so good I can't make them up. Shanley walked into class with two dozen hard boiled eggs. She had hard boiled two dozen, enough for everybody in the class. She started passing them out. Then everybody had one. Then I had to break the news. I said, shanley, thank you so much. That was very thoughtful of you, but that, that wasn't the assignment. The assignment was not for you to bring a hard boiled egg to class, for everyone. The assignment was for each individual person to bring their own hard boiled egg. And as much as I admire your efforts and the fact you were very responsible for everybody in class, that wasn't the assignment. So we had, we took them all up and I had to throw them all away. And I said, so let's. Tomorrow, if you'll recall, this is the only time we're having a group project. This is a class project where everybody's supposed to bring a hard boiled egg. Tuesday came. Do you think they had it? No. Wednesday? No. I mean now they're, they're really upset because I keep building it up saying this is going to be the best project you've had all year. You're going to love it. But we can't get started until everyone fulfills their personal responsibility by bringing a hard boiled egg. Well, guess what? By Friday. Now it's been 10 full days. Two weeks since I gave the first assignment. They all show up with them. They all have them. So then I tell them I had a magic marker, I had a felt tip pen, a marker. They all now write your name on it. So everybody wrote their name on their hard boiled egg. And then I gave them five things they needed to do over the weekend with their hard boiled egg. Things like you have to take your hard boiled egg for a one mile walk. You have to take it on a one mile walk. Then another thing was you have to. If you go somewhere, you have to have someone babysit. You cannot let this egg out of your sight for the whole weekend. You must keep up with your egg and its whereabouts. If you want to take your egg with you, you may. However, if it gets broken, the whole class has to start over. The whole. It's the group project. It's the only class project we'll do all year. They were sick of me saying that. So if you want to take it with you and take that chance, you can. If I were you, I would find somebody to watch my egg for me while I was gone. And then a couple of more assignments that. The last one was this. Write a one page essay on what I learned about the hard boiled egg process.

And then all this is due on Monday. I want you to know on Monday I looked at about 20 to 25 of the most changed individuals you ever met in your life. I still have in some of my files, some of the one page paper. I remember a girl named Rebecca Campbell. She wrote to start with, I'm never getting married. I can't even keep up with a hard boiled egg. I mean, she went on and on about what she learned in that project, about keeping up with it and how valuable it was for her to learn personal responsibility. Each of them wrote incredible letters. And I just let it. It was like class unfolded. And then I said this to them and listen carefully. I looked at all of them and I said, I never want to hear the words I forgot come out of your mouth again. Never look at me and say I forgot. I don't want to hear I forgot my egg. I don't want to hear I forgot my homework. I don't want to hear I forgot my books. I don't want to hear I forgot my pen. Now let me. I'm going to give you six words I will accept. Remember, I'm teaching a psychology class to 15, 16, 17, 18 year olds. I said I will accept. Listen carefully. You may write these down. And I even wrote them on the board. Here's the six words I will accept.

I failed to plan to succeed.

You may look at me and say I failed to plan to succeed. But don't ever look at me and say I forgot. And here's why. I forgot are meaningless words. You might as well look at me and say Frigama rig, you say, well, what does frigama rig mean? It means nothing. And so does I forgot. I forgot. Meaningless. I forgot. Here's what that means. I am so irresponsible. I had no plan. I was just hoping all of this would magically work. I was hoping my hard boiled egg would suddenly show up. I was hoping I'd remember it before I got to class. And I said, well, let me ask you a question. How'd that work out for you? And they all looked at each other and then they started pointing fingers like, it took you two weeks to do it. It took you a week to do yours, and then you lost it. I mean, they were chewing on each other. It was amazing. I just let them run with it as they told each other how sorry and lazy and no good and unorganized and irresponsible. Remember, this is peer pressure at its best. So after they finished, I said, well, now, let's be kind. Let's be nice about this to each other. I said, we're all in different places. But here's what I want you to learn, and this is a lifelong lesson. When you say, I forgot, always remember. It's meaningless. You didn't forget anything. You failed to have a plan. You failed to want to succeed. I failed to plan to succeed. Now, here's what I know as a psychology teacher. Here's what I know from my own experience. Those are hard words, aren't they? I failed to plan to succeed. Yet. Yet they're honest words. They're real words. As a matter of fact, they clearly articulate the problem. You see, the problem is this. I. That. That would be me failed. That would mean I did not succeed. I failed to plan. I didn't have a plan. What was my plan? I'll remember it. It'll all work out. If I can, if it'll come back to my memory, I'll. I'll do it. I fail to plan. I had no plan to succeed. Now, if you want to succeed in life, it requires a little bit of thinking. It requires a little bit of planning. It requires a little bit of. Okay, did I write that down? Now, this was long before the days of cell phones and beepers and things like that. This is the days where you had to write things down on a piece of paper. This is where I showed them. As a matter of fact, I'm reaching in my back pocket so you can see. This is unscripted. I have a little notepad in my back pocket. I call this my red berry, because the COVID of it's red. But I have a blueberry and a BlackBerry and a greenberry. And whatever color the note is on the front of my pad that I put in my pocket. You know why I have that? I have hundreds of those that I have filled up with good ideas, with things I'm responsible for, with reminders. Don't forget to make a note of something. I promised two people last week I'd mail them a copy of one of my books. I wrote down the information to remind me to do it. Here's why I have a plan. See, I forgot is meaningless. But I failed to plan to succeed. And in the ensuing days of the kids in my class, every once in a while, it was so funny. I wish I could have recorded this. I would have a student say to me, let's say they forgot their book. And they would say, I forgot.

Excuse me, sorry. I failed to plan to succeed. To bring my book to class. And then I would say, well, go get it. It's okay. They began to see real quickly that I would accept I failed to plan to succeed. Here's why. The reason I'll accept that is, now you're on the right track. I failed to plan to succeed. That's a. That's a good plan, because now you're dealing with truth. Know the truth and the truth will set you free. And so now they understand. Oh, I failed to plan to succeed. Well, then, therefore, I better have a plan if I'm going to succeed. I. I should be able to do what I say I'm going to do. And remember to have some kind of methodology that will cause me to follow through and to be able to do what I said I would do because I forgot is meaningless. It doesn't work for the rest of that year. And then every time, without exception, I would ever see one of those students in the next year or in the hallway or even after graduation, I cannot tell you how many of them would say to me, do you remember the egg project? And I would stand there and act like, you know, I do think I remember something about that. And they would. I'd let them unfold it to me and tell me all about it, as I enjoyed listening to how they moved away from I forgot, which is meaningless, which is totally irresponsible way to live your life to. I failed to plan to succeed. And every time they said, I caught myself saying I failed to plan to succeed, I remembered then, I need to have a plan. I need to succeed. They said, you have no idea how much that's taught me personal responsibility and how to be a person of character and integrity. That has helped me in my job, it's helped me in my life, it's helped me in my marriage, it's helped me with my kids. It's helped me in every area of my life. So there you have it. Today. Never again as long as you live. Say the words I forgot. They're meaningless. Friggin marig. It doesn't mean anything. What you need to learn to start saying is catch yourself. Catch yourself saying I forget I failed to plan to succeed. And you know what will happen. Real quickly you'll start remembering things. Why? You'll create a plan. You'll get a three by five card. You'll get a notepad. You'll get your phone and put in a reminder, a beeper, an alarm in order to help you do the things that you said you would get done. I hope this is helpful. I promise you this. Listen carefully. The most successful people on this planet are people who understand personal responsibility. I'm not going to blame someone else. I heard Zig Ziglar one time say, when you point your finger at someone, you need to look at your hand because you have three fingers pointing back in your own face. I am a personally responsible person for my words, my looks, my tone, my attitude, my action. Because I don't want to fail in life. I don't want to be the kind of person that lets other people down. So remember, your choice from here forward is I forgot or I failed to plan to succeed. But if you say that, you'll immediately catch yourself and say, therefore, I need to create a plan because I want to succeed. This is helpful. This is good stuff. You got to put it into practice and it'll change your Life Forever. I'm Dr. Robert Rome. I hope this information has been helpful and I look forward to our next time together. For more information about this episode, visit www.becomingwiserpodcast.com 005.