Becoming a Master Negotiator with motivational speaker Ryan Dohrn

From the moment you emerge from your mother's womb, you are negotiating. We go from this cute picture to this picture that every parent knows very, very well. Babies realize very early on that the louder they scream, the more attention. That they get. What's interesting is that you begin negotiating from birth. And I'm going to reckon a guess that probably on that last day when you see the light coming at the end of your life, you're standing at the pearly gates or whatever it is that you believe. I'm going to bet that if you have the ability at the end of your life, you're probably going to be negotiating as well. You're probably going to say, oh Lord, If I could just have one more day. So you negotiate from birth, you're gonna negotiate when you die. So why do we even have this workshop today? Why are we talking about how to be a master negotiator? Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad author, bestselling author, podcast. He talks about this all the time on his show. It takes 10,000 hours to master something. Think about that. What in your life have you spent 10,000 hours on? If you got multiple kids like I do, it's no wonder that the second kid turns out better than the first kid because it took you 10,000 hours or 16 years to master it, and the second kid comes along. Why are we not better at it? Well, we think about all these ideas today. If you pay attention, And if you really put your heart and soul into it, you can become a negotiation master. All right, idea number 1. The first thing you've got to do is you've got to develop what's referred to by Ed Brodo as developing a negotiation consciousness. What is that? Well, Ed, what he says— he's a best-selling author, he talks about negotiation all the time. Negotiation consciousness is what makes the difference between negotiators and everybody else on the planet. It's about me making all of you aware about paying attention of what you need to do to be the best if you want to negotiate, whether it's in life, it's in love, or it's in business. Everything is potentially a negotiation. You see, negotiation Winning is an art that requires practice. So are you willing to put in the 10,000 hours that it's gonna take? Most of us in this room, you're not gonna be patient enough to make that happen. You wanna learn the skills right now. You wanna be the winner right now. Everybody wants to stand on that podium. Everybody wants to be on the podium and have that gold medal around your neck. When you would hear the stories and the thousands of hours and heartache and broken bones and torn muscles to get to that point, We all wanna win the race, but are we willing to put in the miles it's gonna take to win the race? You're gonna have to fail before you can succeed in the negotiation arena. All right, look carefully at the screen. This is a gentleman that all of you in this room know. You know this guy. As a matter of fact, you know him well. Here's some clues. Number 1, he's a world-famous cook. Gordon Ramsay. Number 2, the recipe that he was trying to perfect was rejected 1,009 times. Oh, I think I might have heard somebody that got it. He was born in Kentucky. Now when I show you his picture at an older age, you'll know exactly who he is. Yeah, that's Harland Sanders. Somebody said it over here, Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yep, Harland Sanders. 1,009 times. How many people in this room? 1,009. Could you be rejected over 1,000 times before you got a yes? Are you willing to put in the reps? Are you willing to put up what it's gonna— put in what it's gonna take for you to be a raging success? See, negotiation is about some knowledge, but it's also an art. It's about artistry, a superior skill that you can learn by study, By practice and by observation. Developing a negotiation consciousness is about developing an understanding. I'm filling you in today. You develop understanding through knowledge, and then you're going to put that knowledge into action. Whether you're negotiating a contract or you're negotiating where you're going to go for dinner Or whatever the circumstance is, putting that knowledge into action is a vividly important piece. All right, number 1 then, developing a negotiation consciousness. All right, idea number 2, jot it down. When you have options, you have power. When you have options in a negotiation, that's when you have power. No options, no power. When you think about this, Harvard Business Review did a really, really great article and some deep research. And what they say is this: research overwhelmingly shows that unprepared negotiators make unnecessary concessions. They overlook sources of value, and then they walk away from beneficial agreements. What it really comes down to is being prepared. Maybe you've heard this statement: poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency of mine. How many people have heard that before? Poor planning on your part doesn't necessitate an emergency on, on my part. Who said that? A lot of times people will give Zig Ziglar credit or Tony Robbins credit, but it really— it wasn't a business person. It was actually the godfather of climate change himself, Bob Carter, paleontologist, geologist, marine biologist, that said poor planning on your part doesn't necessitate an emergency on mine. When you go into a negotiation with no options, more than likely you are probably going to lose. Maybe you'll save a few pennies here and there, but options are what gives you power. When you think about this guy in this picture here, standing on the rock surrounded by water, holding his jacket in his hand, Maybe he was out there looking at the sunset and the tide came in and he got trapped. His options are extremely limited. I was negotiating a contract for an event that we were producing, and I had 3 hotels in Las Vegas kind of finalized and narrowed down. One of the things that we knew is that we needed a stage. We needed some type of stage, much like this, for us to be able to put on the show. I knew because I'd seen the picture, like you're seeing right here, that the Bellagio had a stage built in. I realized at other places it was going to cost me $10,000 to $20,000 to bring in a stage, the right AV equipment, sound system, etc. The Bellagio pretty much had it all built in. My plan was to use the fact that over at this hotel over here, it was going to cost me $15,000 to bring all this stuff in. They already had theirs built in, but I was willing to go to the other place for $15,000 in the stage cost because the Bellagio was almost $20,000 more expensive. The idea was if I had options, I was able to walk into the Bellagio and say, yeah, your stage being built in is great, but quite honestly, I'd be happy over here bringing in a stage. It's going to work equally as good. I enter the hotel, I meet with the sales director, we're having a great conversation, and I had a colleague that was with me. In my mind, I know what my plan is because I have options. We walk into the ballroom that you see here on your screen. We walk in and my colleague says these words that killed the deal. The word was simple. That stage is Perfect. And the moment that my colleague said that, my ability to negotiate went completely out the window because my colleague removed the other options that I had in an effort to get the price down and come to an amicable solution. Options, my friends, those are what give you power. Idea number 3, whoever you're dealing with, you've got to pick the correct path. To deal with the person that's in front of you. See, a lot of times in the sales business where I operate a lot, you'll hear people say this: you typically sell to someone the way that you want to be sold. So as an example, if I'm a person that buys things emotionally, I typically sell in a more emotional way. If you, on the other hand, buy things logically, you probably sell in a logical way. If you are more of an ego-driven person, typically you sell in an ego-driven way. It's super common. It's human nature. Same thing in negotiating. And that's why it's so important to pick the correct path. There's 3 paths, 3 people that potentially could be sitting in front of you. You've got people that are ego-driven, you've got people that are emotional, and you've got people that are logical. All right, in the room today, let's figure out who each of you are. Okay. All right. Egomaniacs, raise your hand in the room. Self-identified. You know who you are. Okay, there you go. All right. How many people in the room feel that they're more emotional in the decisions that they make? Raise your hand if you're more emotional In the decisions that you make? Okay, good. All right, a little bit more than half, I'm thinking. Fair enough. All right, how many people in the room think that you're logical in the decisions that you make? Logical. Okay, raise your hand. All right, quite a few. Most emotional people in here. How many people think that you can't, don't really know, or maybe you're a little of both? Ah, there you are. Okay, if you don't know, you're emotional. Okay, logical people know. Well, you know, I'm an emotional person, but I use logic to drive my emotional decision. No, that means that you're emotional. All right, so if you're an emotional person and you're negotiating with a logical person, you're going to need to negotiate in a logical way. If you're a logical person by nature and you're negotiating with somebody that's clearly emotional, your logic isn't going to be meaningful to that emotional person. You've got to negotiate with the person that you're meeting with in a way that makes the most sense to them. So I guess this question— next question is, how do we know? Well, sometimes you can be in front of somebody. Sometimes you can be in front of somebody, but there's a lot of different ways to figure it out. I'm gonna get to that in just a second. The 4th thing you need to do besides knowing who you're meeting with is Is building what's called quick trust. Building what's called quick trust. In order to match somebody on an emotional or logical level, you also need to establish with them quick trust. Quick trust means that you've got anywhere from 3 to 10 seconds to build trust with somebody before they potentially tune you out. You walk into most negotiations like it's a battle. Battle. I'm going to battle with that person. I'm going to win. I'm going to be on top. I'm going to throw them out of the ring. I'm going to stand on the top rope and scream victory. It's not what it's about. If you're going to get the most out of a negotiation, you've got to know the person that you're negotiating with. It leads us to number 5. Everybody tells you when you're negotiating to be a superstar, take emotions out of the equation. Friends, that's not what I've learned. Idea number 5 is you have to take emotions into consideration, even if you're dealing with a logical person. You have to take emotions into consideration. Why? Because your emotions can get the best of you, and their emotions can get the best of them. Thank you.