Healthy Selfishness: Reclaiming Your Power & Self-Worth

Grand rising and welcome to New Mind, where our intention is clear and is to share information for transformation. Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking the time to tune in, to listen or watch this, uh, wherever you are around the world. I really appreciate you showing up for yourself to learn, to develop, to grow, to expand through the New Mind podcast. And always, always, always the intention is there is to share value from my personal journey and as well as the journey and the learnings of working with clients from all around the world for almost 8 years now, getting into my 8th year. I can't believe that, but it's been an unbelievable journey. And my intention is always to see what has worked, what can I extract, what can I share that is really truly making impact both for myself and in the lives of my students and clients. So thank you for being here. Today's topic is an interesting one and usually it's a misunderstood topic. And this is why I was thinking, you know, to, to, to just demystify this today. And this topic is super important, and it's really, really about the power of healthy selfishness. Not the selfishness that's rooted in the ego, um, or harm, don't get me wrong, but the kind of self-devotion, the— that, that, that connection with the self that really connects you back to the authenticity the happiness and the inner truth. And the reason I'm bringing this up, because I have seen this pattern over the years. And the pattern that I've seen is a lot of my clients and students have a problem with enforcing healthy boundaries, and they perceive healthy boundaries as being selfish. They perceive putting themselves first as being selfish. And a lot of the time they're afraid— coming from a fear, of course— of what society conditions us To see as selfishness, as bad. What will people think? But there is a healthy selfishness, and this is what I want to introduce to you guys today. And when I say healthy selfishness, what I'm trying to say here, guys, is that it's prioritizing your needs, your well-being, your truth. Because if we don't, we lose ourselves. We end up not honoring ourselves, and we actually just put everyone else. First around us, so the idea here is understanding healthy selfishness is a new term that I want to integrate in your mind so you can differentiate between the selfishness that we've been conditioned to think as selfishness and why this healthy selfishness is super powerful that will make you literally elevate your entire life because you become more. Authentic, you know. And this is what I want to change— why this healthy selfishness is really in alignment of authenticity. For me, selfishness is the path always to authenticity. And I'm talking about this healthy selfishness is doing what you want to do, choosing what you want to choose, not what others expect. And this is really, really powerful if you think about it. And I want you to reflect as I'm speaking to you or sharing and having this conversation with Think about that. Like, reflect on yourself. Do you sometimes say yes to things that you wish you would say no to? Just because you're afraid that they won't accept you, won't love you, will see you not being good enough. You know what I'm trying to say? Like, is that something you do? And that ends up, in my model of the world at least, is living for others. You're living for others' expectations and you end up disconnecting from your own inner compass. And that's why healthy selfishness is literally connecting you back with your truth, with your inner compassness. And it's showing yourself and the world that you know and learn and have the ability to put yourself first, right? Um, and, and that's why I'm saying like a lot of this tends to come sadly from our conditioning, from this cultural conditioning, family pressure, societal norms. But you don't have to fall into that equation because when you act from I should, right, you're abandoning your true self. You're abandoning what you really want and what's better for you. And this leads to resentment. It leads to burnout. It leads to internal conflicts. And I see this all the time, even in relationships, health, like partnerships, relationships. It end up Breaking down purely because that's one party in the relationship is doing that all the time, is putting the other person's needs first all the time. And for me, in order for you to be the best version of yourself for both yourself and the world, you need to be happy, right? And your happiness is not selfish; it's alignment. I'll say that again: your happiness is not selfish; it's alignment. So you can't give the world your best if you're empty inside and you're resentful. Really think about that. That specifically happens when we're misaligned. But when you're genuinely happy and living from your truth and you have the ability to enforce those healthy boundaries, your energy becomes magnetic. You have access to those peak performance states, those resourceful states. And then joy isn't just a luxury, it's a spiritual responsibility for you. That's the importance of understanding why I need to follow what makes me happy, follow my truth. And you being happy does not mean you are selfish, right? So it's a very much blurred line in many, many people's perception. So, and, and, and again, what I want us to be clear with is it's about the relationship with yourself throughout this entire experience. So when you betray your own needs, you disconnect from authenticity, self-worth, and that inner power that I keep speaking about. But when you choose yourself, you reconnect to your higher self, the version of you that can actually secure and serve yourself and the world. This is really important. So remember, the name of the game is how do I become more authentic? The more authentic you are, the more magnetic you are. The more authentic you are, the more you are in a better mental health, better clarity, better creativity, and more importantly, you become more confident, right? So this is really, really important because that's The upper understanding of this healthy selfishness that we're talking about. But then there is the other aspect. There's this energetic side to it that most people are unaware of. Because when you say yes to what you don't want, you lower your vibration and you misalign with your truth. When you choose the true you. You know, when you, when you stay true to what it is that you want and you act upon it, you align with your purpose, you align with your inspiration, you align with your expansion. And I always talk about this term, the universe— it's the you inverse, it's the mirror of reality— will respond differently when you are in integrity with yourself. And again, guys, for those of you that are listening, this is not a Judgment. This is purely an awakening, purely a pattern interrupt for you. Yes, you the listener right now to gauge on how authentic are you with the outside world. It's no good or bad. It's just how much of you are you authentic and real, and how easy are you able to set those healthy boundaries? Because when you do, you show up better for 100% for your partners, your kids if you have any, your clients, your. Work, your relationships, and the world around you. You, you— that, that's, that's, that's what alignment is, right? So the model of authenticity, and that brings into the space of who you are, it inspires others to be themselves. And this is one thing that I've noticed throughout my entire journey. The more authentic I was, the more comfortable I was with who I am, I would unconsciously invite whoever is in my environment, whoever is in my space, to show up in that as well, to be themselves more. And that's powerful, right? Because you have an influence. So the more authentic you are, the more real you are, the more you put yourself first and you're honest about things and you speak your mind with, with, with, you know, in a healthy way— not necessarily have to be rude or conflict, you know. Healthy boundaries isn't necessarily conflict. It's, it's the ability to communicate in a fashion that sets those boundaries that doesn't impact you, doesn't impact your state, your well-being, and, you know, things that you prefer to do rather than doing things because you were told to or there's expectation from others, right? So, and this is for me really important because now you have that influence on your external environment and that unconsciously overflows more powerful energy into your reality and you move into serving than the should have and could have and must have and what will people think and this overthinking mind. You know, I, I remember this quote by Carl Jung as well. And again, you know, guys, if you don't know Carl Jung, he's like the, the, the, the godfather of human psychology, right? Carl Jung. I love his work. Um, I'm always diving into his work as well. It's just an incredible Uh, individual, um, and again, the godfather, I would say. So he said something, uh, he says that the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. And when you really understand that, that is super powerful. That's a privilege because you're not shy to express who you are. And when you express who you are and you speak your truth, you grow, you glow, because that's the inner expression of who you are. You know, that's the inner being that you are allowing to express, to grow. This is one of the reasons I do this podcast. You know, I do this podcast purely for expressing myself, expressing my journey, expressing my knowledge, and sharing the value that I see that has helped me and my clients. I don't have to do this. I don't need to do this. And this is to be very open with you guys. I don't need to do this, but I love to do this because this is a form of expression. This is a form of giving back to my community, to my tribe, to those who are open and that resonate with me and understand where this is coming from, from the center, from my heart, so that it impacts them in a positive light. And then indirectly, there's that flow of energy, there's that flow of appreciation for what I put out, but also for the people that get impacted positively in their life, right? This is, this is what it's about, you know. But yeah, going back to what I was saying, guys, the most important thing in this is that understanding that you have this vision, you want to work towards that vision and be clear with that vision. But understanding in order for you to reach that vision, it's about following your truth, following your own heart, and not being pressured by your environment and what people think Um, because that's where, you know, we lose ourselves. And unconsciously, unfortunately, most of society today is playing in that game, playing in the game of, I'm gonna do this so people can think this, I'm gonna change, I'm gonna say that so people can think that. But we lose ourselves of the inner truth of who we are. And I am just here to remind you that you will find true joy And really true happiness in the truth of who you are. And who you are is more than good enough, just so you know, in case you forgot. But the idea is applying this healthy selfishness to really find out who you are, to really understand who your tribe is, who the people are that you're going to attract in your life. Because remember, when you say yes and you mean no, That's that's misalignment. That's where I said to you most people will find that resentfulness, that drainage, that unseen feeling. You know what I mean? Because you're constantly living expectations, not your true desires. You will feel disappointed from that. You'll feel sorry, disconnected and disappointed, but disconnected even more from. Yourself, right? And, and even start to feel more disconnected and from the world around you because you're disappointing yourself. You're not showing up as per the higher self, as per what you really want to do in your life, and having those conversations. So how do I know if I'm applying those healthy selfishness daily or not? How can I know that I can bring this into my life? These are some Things that I want to give you guys as actionable insights, right? So first of all is always that check-in that I always speak of. You know, when you say yes or no, is this what I want or what I think should I should want, right? So is this what I want or is this what I think I should want? This is really important. A very powerful question, by the way. I'll repeat that one more time. Is this what I want? Or is this what I think I should want, or what I think others should want from me? But is it what I want? And boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, guys. The ability to say no to what drains you is the first line of defense. It's the first line of defense that's gonna bring you back into your truth, back into alignment. I said this in a previous episode— journaling, writing down your desires, your truths, and what, what lights you up. This is important because based on that findings, now you know when to say yes, when to say no. If this is bringing me joy and happiness and it's in alignment for what I want from my life, I will say yes to it. If it's not, I will say no. So using that as your compass And of course, guys, it goes without saying, your environment. Surround yourself with people who support your authenticity, not who demand your conformity and demand and have that expectation of you to show up a certain way. That's tiring. It depletes your energy. It's, it's, it's absolutely tiring. And I see this with my clients who really, really struggle with this. And of course, it's absolute joy for me to shift them from that and give them the tools and the knowledge and the know-hows to release that fear. Because it's always fear-based, right? I just don't want to be perceived as not being good enough. I don't want to be perceived as not being this or that. It's always worrying about what people think. Always the worry is coming from that fear. So, you know, you want to give yourself permission to choose what feels aligned. Give yourself permission to choose what feels aligned. That is key, key, key in what we're talking about today. Because when you choose yourself, you're not being selfish, you're being truthful. And the world needs more people who live in truth. And I'm here to remind you guys, start by honoring what you want, what you feel. What lights you up, and from that space, truthfully, guys, from that space, you can serve the world with clarity, joy, and authenticity. And this is key in my model of the world for really bringing you back in true alignment of who you are. Thank you again, guys, for taking the time to watch this. If you're watching this on YouTube, thank you so much. Please subscribe. Please comment. Please share if you found value in this. If you're listening to this podcast, a lot of my my listeners are actually online on the stream because. I just started this YouTube channel that I'm looking to grow. Some of you have messaged me and said, I love what you're doing at the studio in Dubai. I want more of that. So I'm making more efforts to create this with my great team here that are doing such amazing work behind the scenes to continue producing this production for you guys. So please take the time to subscribe, to like, to comment, to share. This is how you support the channel. This is how you support me in continuing to share the value that I do. And thank you so much, guys. Once more time, much love and positive energy.