The Hidden Addiction That’s Keeping You Stuck.

Where our intention is clear and to share information for transformation. Thank you for being here. I'm your host, Sam Daghash, aka the Mind Alchemist. And in today's episode, I'd like to dig into what I call the number one addiction, or a big addiction that no one's really talking about. And you know what that addiction is? It's our comfort zone. The addiction of staying in things that are familiar. And not pushing ourselves for growth or transformation. And this is really interesting because what we do is we fool ourselves unconsciously into the illusion that we are growing. Meanwhile, we are not. Or into the illusion that things are moving in the direction of growth, but they're not. And growth sits on the other side of our comfort zone. So if we're not stepping up and doing things that is outside of our comfort zone, that makes us feel a little bit of fear or anxiety or some— or sometimes some form of discomfort, then we're not really growing by the nature of what growth really means. And I want to share with you guys a little bit of how it works within our mind so you guys have an understanding why it becomes familiar and why and how our neurology works and how we break through from that. How do we follow the signs of what really is taking us to a space that is going to create more growth, more transformation for ourselves, and to live a happier, more fulfilled life with purpose, right? So first and foremost, when we talk about the comfort zone, what is this comfort zone? Everyone uses it sometimes. So in order for us to always work and define things that is relevant to what we're speaking about, it's important to set the definition and to be clear with what we're talking about. So comfort zone Okay? Is what also known as the psychocybernetic mechanism within our mind is designed to keep us in the familiar. It's literally its job within the neurology, within our mind, is to stay in what is known to us. And it doesn't necessarily mean that that known is good or bad. It's just known. It's what our brain is familiar with experiencing. So our brain is always trying to reserve energy. Therefore, it doesn't like new things. It doesn't like to take on new experiences because it's trying to reserve. Because when you go into a new space, a new place, a new experience, that requires more data, right? That requires more information that the mind now needs to process, and the brain is part of that processing system, right? And our brain is always looking for ways to preserve energy. Therefore, as a coping mechanism, it wants to keep us in what we look at as known or familiar, right? Now, why is that dangerous sometimes is because the familiar is not always serving us. The familiar is not always a place where we find growth because we're doing the same things and we're experiencing the same things, we're thinking the same ways, we're being the same person, and we yet expect some change to happen. And change doesn't happen by doing and repeating and thinking the same way. I mean, that's common sense, right? So in order for us to understand that growth, part of growth is also part of us feeling uncomfortable. It's also part of us having those challenges and being okay with change, right? That change is part of it, and change of experience, change of way of thinking, change of way of habits and behaviors. But ultimately what we're talking about is change, right? And moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar, right? Or should I say the unknown, is where most people struggle. Most people struggle from moving in the familiar to the unknown because it's perceived as a threat. So the unknown is unsafe for many, and the unknown is a place where we perceive it unconsciously as unfamiliar, therefore unknown, therefore I would rather stay where I am and do the same things and experience the same people, the same situations, so we feel safe. Okay, now again, it's a false sense of safety. It's a false sense of security because, like I said, not everything we are familiar with in our life is necessarily healthy for us or actually serving us in our life. So what do we do and how do we approach this? So firstly, in order for us to understand how the dynamic work works, let me break down the psychocybernetic mechanism. So think about the psychocybernetic mechanism as a circle or a way, a point of awareness. awareness that you are experiencing. And in this space is everything that is known— people, places, experiences, habits, behaviors, ways of thinking. And the moment something new comes into our life, something that is unfamiliar to us, the unconscious mind, one of its prime directives is to keep you in the familiar— psychocybernetic. It starts to showcase and bring up certain thought patterns that show, that draws or, or, or pay, or paints a picture that whatever you're stepping into is going to go wrong. It's not going to serve you. It's too dangerous. It's too hard. It's too difficult. You're not going to succeed. Um, you rather stay in the familiar job or the familiar thing you're doing than rather go into something new. So that is the role of that prime directive, it pops up and it gives you those thoughts. And the feedback to that thoughts, the feedback to those way of seeing it or the way of perceiving it in your perception is the emotion, the feeling that comes into the body. And 9 out of 10, those feelings are doubt, fear, anxiety, right? Because it's painting a picture where it's not gonna go right. So obviously the feedback is going to be subjective to the quality of your thinking. And the fear, when it grabs our body or the doubt or the anxiety, when it touches us or when we start feeling it, we almost move into freeze, right? We freeze and we start to again find other ways of rationalizing why it's not good for us or why it's not going to work. And those freeze and those moments of staying in the comfort zone, depending on your conditioning, it really depends on the level of your conditioning. Some people are conditioned to experience different things and be okay with change, and they have no— they don't have many past experiences that they failed. So now the mind is used to change. Therefore, when something new appears, they go for it. There's a little bit of that anxiety, or a little bit of that fear can be still there, but it's not enough to hold them back into their space, into their place. Others might have other conditioning and experiences in the past that created a lot of fear, that created a lot of doubt, a lot of insecurities, or, you know, so what happens is when they move closer to that space of needing to step out of their comfort zone or into the unknown, then that charge, that emotion, and the thoughts are much more powerful. So they keep them where they are, and they stay where they are in that familiar. And again, guys, when I say familiar, it doesn't necessarily mean it's good or bad, but it means it's familiar. And a lot of the times, more often than not actually, the familiar For us, and the comfort zone for us is very stagnant. It's a place that we're you know not moving, not growing. We stay where we are. We experience the same things. We do the same things, and we are just you know moving slowly nowhere, right? So if you are someone that wants to experience different things in your life, if you're someone that wants to grow, wants to evolve as a as a as a version of yourself and to continue growing as an individual, one of the requirements is the ability. To step out of your comfort zone. One of the requirements is the ability to break free from those old conditionings like fear and limiting beliefs that hold us back in the comfort zone and move you away into a space where you are able to experience something new. Now, that moment you break free and you experience something new and familiar, what that does for you— it's that moment of growth, that moment of expanding your awareness and expanding your experience into creating thing that becomes a new familiar, but it becomes a new familiar. So now you are no longer stuck. You're no longer thinking the same way. Now you've added a new experience to your life, a new neural pathway that creates the ability to see yourself in that space. And now it becomes easier for you to do it over and over again. So it becomes a new part of you and a new expansive part of you, right? So for example, I'll give you guys an example. So for example, you know, many years ago if you came to ask me, would you go on stage and would you mentor and coach on stage? I'll be like, no, I prefer to do my one-on-ones. I prefer to, you know, have that intimate experience with individuals privately rather than groups, rather than going on stage. But I also came to realize through the work I do and understanding my own neurology and my own conditioning that that was a limitation. And I was almost making excuses why it's better to be private. It's more intimate. I don't, I, you know, I can't, you know, stand on stage and how am I going to interact with, you know, whatever, whatever thought processes, irrational illusion thinking to give you the reason why you should stay where you are and don't change that approach. But then I realized, no, I need to do, I need to break free from that. At least I need to experience it so that I know that that's a behavioral range that I'm able to expand into. For example, most people are very afraid of standing on stage and doing public speaking. And it's a very common fear among the world. Like if you ask people and they did a lot of actually research out there, like one of the highest fears of people they have, funny enough, is public speaking, right? So it's the ability to stand on stage or in front of a group of people. And by the way, it doesn't have to be like hundreds and thousands. It could be just 10 people. It's still a big fear for most, right? And the idea, it's I'm no different, so I'm like everyone else. If it's something that I'm unfamiliar with, there's going to be the sense of fear, there's going to be the sense of doubt, there's going to be the sense of, you know, is it going to be good enough, am I ready for this, etc. So for me, I made it— and I'm using this as an example case for you guys— I made it a mission for myself to be able to speak publicly, to be able to go on stage, to be able to do workshops, and this was a few years ago I already started doing this in Dubai. I already started doing this in private setups and workshops and master workshops and also on talks. I was starting to do talks. And then I took it to the next level which is, you know, going to another part of the world which is outside of my comfort zone all the way in the US in Los Angeles. You know, outside of my comfort zone, an area and an environment that I don't know and going on stage to a new audience that I never engaged with and that also required a sense of stepping out of my comfort zone. And every time you step out of your comfort zone, you almost know. You almost know that you're moving into that stage of I'm breaking through and breaking free from this experience that is familiar to the unfamiliar. But the most amazing thing is that when you cross that bridge and when you break free from the familiar to the unknown and you make the new unknown familiar, it is such a powerful and rewarding experience because you feel it in your body. You expand it in your mind. There's a sense of growth, right? And sometimes we can't see ourselves doing things because our mind is not allowing us to see it because it's holding us back into what we call the familia, which is the comfort zone. So it's important for you, the listener, and whoever is watching this right now, is to sometimes take a pen and paper and ask yourselves, if I didn't have fear and if I wanted to experience new things in my life, what would that look like and what would I do? Right? If I didn't have fear and I wanted to experience something new in my life that, you know, there's no doubt that I would pull it off, I would, I would, you know, experience it, I would know it would work out, whatever that is, what would that be and how would it look like? So when you do that, what you're doing is you're allowing your mind to see into a future that is unknown, but now it's working a little bit with your terms and conditions, right? So I see myself in an outcome in the future in a space and time that Something I've never experienced before but working out the way I want to. Now what you're doing is you're giving your mind, using your mind's eye and giving your mind a taste of what that could be versus automatically giving excuses why you can't. So you're almost trying to come in from a different angle of what would that look like if it worked perfectly? What would I do? Right? And that could be for someone listening that has a 9-to-5 job that is perhaps hating their job and not enjoying what they're doing. But every time they think of taking on a new role or a new job or changing, the mind says, well, it might not work. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. How do you know you're going to succeed? So, how about you paint a picture of it working out? How about you paint a picture of you starting your own business and it's working out? How would that look? What actions would you take? How would you act? How would you behave? So, bringing in the new way, painting that future experience now, writing it down, thinking about it is very powerful because it almost gives the mind a, a new perspective or a new perception of what that could look like. But if you're relying on your own psychocybernetic mechanism, it's guaranteed that it's always going to show you the reasons why it's not going to work and it keeps you where you are. Now I'm speaking this as an example for a 9 to 5, but this could be anything, right? This is for the, for, for the traders out there that I, that I'm working with. This could be even in the level of sizing up. You're so unfamiliar with sizing up, and the idea of sizing up—it brings you fear and doubt. And you should stay, stay, stay, stay at a certain level because that means more money. That's the meaning-making process. Now, if you start to see yourself sizing up and succeeding, and it's okay, that's a new familiar. So practicing it in your mind, rehearsing it in your mind, thinking about it in your mind is giving your mind a new way of thinking as well as a new perception of that potential working out versus not. So when you do attempt to do it, when you do attempt to step out of your familiar, which is the things you're doing all the time, you start to have a little bit of a better probability of that, of the ability to step out of your comfort zone and to do something new. But also being aware and being patient with yourself and knowing that a lot of the things that are holding us back is not really things that we're doing it by choice, but it's by— it's subject to our conditioning. So our conditioning is always there, and the level of our conditioning determines how much we can expand and step out of our comfort zone. So bringing that into awareness, into the space of awareness, as I'm sharing with this with you now, and taking a pen and paper and reflecting on what are the things— if I didn't have any fear, or if I didn't have any doubt, or if I didn't have— and I wanted to experience something new, what would that look like in my life? Yeah, what would that outcome look like for me? And also being, you know, compassionate on yourself and knowing that this has nothing to do with, you know, you're not strong enough or you're not good enough or you're not confident enough. No, no, that's subjective to your conditioning. It's subjective to the experiences you had, and the experiences you had tries to come into a place to protect you, right? So people don't want to have the same experience, so now it becomes everything unknown becomes dangerous. or everything in that context becomes, you know, something that wrong might happen. It's not by choice, it's by design based on your conditioning. So my intention with this episode is to remind you about this addiction where we are unconsciously addicted to stay in the familiar, and we are always seeking that comfort. We're seeking comfort all the time. We want things easy, we want things effortless, we want things to be smooth, but that in the essence of it, this addiction is actually really in the way from our own personal growth and our own personal transformation. And if you're someone listening— and I know most of my audience that listen to this podcast are audiences that are seeking growth, that are seeking to become a better version of themselves, that are seeking transformation, that are seeking to constantly evolve, you know, constantly move higher and have more purpose in what they're doing that helps them. This is an idea and an awareness that this is normal but we can do something about it. Now, another tip I want to add here that is super important, I do this a lot with my own personal clients and in the academy, is we need to align ourselves with purpose. We need to align ourselves with a drive because when we have a purpose and we are very, you know, clear with that purpose and we know why we're after it, that purpose will allow us to push us outside of our boundaries. It'll allow us to, to be the fuel to step out of our comfort zone. But if we don't have purpose and we're just doing things because we're doing it, we don't have a mission, you know, in our hearts or in our minds that we want to strive for, you know, then we will also get back to that addiction of familiar and comfort. So if you are not doing things today that is outside of your comfort zone, that is making you feel a little bit uncomfortable, that is making you feel a little bit of those, you know, emotions that we as humans try to avoid as best as we can, know that you are not growing. Know that you're staying in your comfort zone. And again, I'm not saying, you know, I'm not calling it out. I'm just sharing with you the fundamentals here. It's important for you to understand how it works so you can break free from it and break through it. So going back to the tips, write it down. What would that look like if there was no fear, no doubt in ourselves? What would we do? What would that look like? That perception in the future that is in the unknown. So make the unknown a little bit known to you, but perceiving it in the outcomes that you want. Okay? And secondly is finding your purpose. What is that fire in your belly that makes you get up every day, that makes you strive, that makes you want to grow? Why you're doing it. You know, the deep why. Why? This is again an area we also cover all the time because when people know their deep why, And there's obviously processes for that. And when they get connected to their purpose, you become unstoppable. You become more courageous, and you have more, more reason why you want to step out of your comfort zone and move into the unknown and move into the— into, into new spaces of experience. And I call this expanding your range of behavior, expanding your range of adaptability and adoptability, right? This is important. That's, that's us as humans. We need to keep growing. If we're not growing, we're dying. If we're not growing, we're dying. That's how it works, guys. That's just the our human neurology and and how we're made up of. We got to keep moving upwards. If we don't, we stay stagnant and we die slowly, right? Always have purpose. Always have meaning. Always have that why and pushing our pushing the envelope, pushing our boundary over more and more as we as we grow. So guys, this is the message. This is the intention with this. This podcast episode is to make sure we're not addicted to this comfort zone of ours, that we are always striving to, with intention, to break free and break through any of those boundaries. And they're all an illusion, guys. They're all an illusion. Anything you want to strive for is possible as long as you believe in yourself, as long as you're willing to go through that discomfort, go through that change, Go through that feeling uncomfortable because it's that's part of the body. The body is going to make you feel uncomfortable because it's something new, and when you know that you're making you know you're getting uncomfortable, then you know that that's a sign that you are growing, and that's always a positive sign for us to know that we're growing even through the discomfort because on the other side, and I can tell you from experience, it's such a rewarding experience. It's a powerful place to be in when you. Step out of your comfort zone and you move into the unknown. And to wrap up, I always say this if you've been listening to me before, the unknown is the place with infinite potentials and opportunities exist. So don't fear the unknown. Actually start to fall in love with the unknown and seek the unknown because on that and in that space is where you will be so surprised and you will always be smiling at the end of that experience. So guys, Guys, thank you again for taking the time to watch or listen to this episode. Much love and positive energy. Thank you.