Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns — And How to Change Them

Grand rising and welcome to New Mind, where our intention is clear and is to share information for transformation. I'm your host, Sam Daghash, and for those of you who are new to the podcast and may not know who I am, I'm the founder of New Mind and known as the Mind Alchemist. And for almost a decade, I've been working with people to help them understand and transform the deeper patterns running beneath the surface, the unconscious conditioning the emotional state, the beliefs, the identity structures that influence the way we think, feel, behave, and ultimately create the results in our lives. And my work is always centered around one core idea: lasting change does not come from simply trying harder at the conscious level. It comes from changing what is happening underneath. So let's get straight into it. There's something that I see again and again in the work that I've been doing for years, and people know what they should be doing. And I'm sure you, as you're listening to this episode, know that there's certain things you should be changing in your life, certain things that you want to stop reacting to in a certain way. And a lot of the times they know they should have a better relationship on how to change it, you know, to change the habits and to become, for example, more disciplined, to stop self-sabotaging, to manage their emotions differently, or finally to take the action they have been avoiding. And yet, even with all that awareness, they somehow find themselves returning to the same pattern. And this is why people come to me. They're like, I need to break the pattern, Sam, and I need you to guide me on how to do that. So the question becomes, why do we keep repeating behaviors we consciously know Are no longer serving us, and perhaps more importantly, how do we actually create change that lasts? And this is really important because if we work on that basis, this is super important because when we understand how to change and create lasting change, then we continue evolving into the better version of ourselves, and we can actually create a better quality of life for ourselves. And it's also the reason I recently created a free thirty-minute new. Mind Masterclass that goes much deeper into this exact subject, and I'll tell you more about that towards the end of the episode. And you'll you'll find the link directly below here, by the way. If you want to watch it, you can just click on that and it will take you through, and it's for free. You can just watch, and I go deeper into this topic. But listen, guys, one of the biggest misunderstandings around personal change is that we. Tend to focus on, on what we can see, the results. You know, maybe you keep procrastinating, maybe you keep losing your temper, maybe you keep choosing the wrong relationships, or you repeatedly self-sabotage your progress. Whether you're a trader or a— or not even non-trader, this applies to everyone, right? And a lot of times discipline is a big key in our lives. We struggle to maintain that. You know, you earn more money and somehow you return to the same financial position. You make progress with your health and then you fall back into old behaviors. And whatever that pattern is for you, we have to naturally look at it as a result, right? Think about it. It's just, I need to fix that. And this is where people come to me. It's like, this specific is an outcome and the results that I need to change. So we apply more effort, we apply more discipline, more information, another book, another podcast, another strategy, another morning routine, and another promise that this time I'm going to be different. But sometimes that works, and that's great, maybe for a while, but eventually something happens. You become stressed, you become tired, you get triggered, life gets difficult, and suddenly the old behavior comes back. The question is why. And the really— the reason for that is because you're trying to change the surface expression of the pattern rather than the system underneath it. And this is key, because when you understand that there's a system underneath it, when you understand that there is a process to create that change permanently, everything begins to change. And as I said before, your results are always feedback. This is one of the most important ideas I want people to understand. Your results in your life, all of them, whether they're good, bad, or ugly, they're always feedback. They're not necessarily the problem, but they're showing you something, right? If I repeatedly experience the same outcome in my life, instead of immediately judging myself or asking what's wrong with me, A far more powerful question is, what is the result? Or what is this result showing me about my internal system that is currently operating? I always tell this to my clients. I'm like, use your outside results in this world as a reflection of your inner world, because your behaviors do not exist in isolation. The results don't exist in isolation. They're a byproduct of your behaviors. So something is producing them. And once we become more curious about what is producing them, we move away from self-judgments and towards a little bit of understanding. And this is where real change starts to happen and where you can actually begin the process. So underneath the results is always behavior. This is what I want you guys to take away from today, is understanding that all the results is subjective to the behaviors. But underneath the behavior, there's something even more important. Which is your state. And I want you to think about this in your life. The version of you that is calm, grounded, confident, and connected makes a very different decision from a version of you that feels threatened or anxious or angry or rejected or overwhelmed, right? Same person, same intelligence, same knowledge— nothing's really changed— but a completely different behavior. And you ask yourself, why? It's because your state has changed. And your state influences what you notice, what you believe is possible, and how you interpret what is happening around you, and ultimately how you behave. So when someone says, I don't understand why I did that, I knew better, they probably did know better consciously, but knowledge alone does not always determine the behavior. Your internal state has enormous influence over what happens next. So now we need to understand that model, and now we need to go a little bit deeper in another layer. So we ask ourselves, well, what is creating that state? This is where conditioning becomes incredibly important, and this is why I focus in light of my work about reconditioning the mind. Because if you're not reconditioning the mind, you're just playing on the surface. And you understand that conditioning comes through childhood, through our parents, through our relationships, our cultural. I always say this through this through the success, through the rejection, through the pain. Whatever that is, there's always those experiences that were made, and we made decisions about ourselves and the world around us throughout those experiences, throughout the process. And much of that conditioning operates outside of the conscious awareness. You may consciously believe I want success. But while another part of you, you know, associates success with pressure, rejection, responsibility, or even the possibility of losing everything. And this is where self-sabotage kicks in many, many, many times. I see this pattern quite a bit actually with the work I do. You know, I want a healthy relationship. That's what you consciously, consciously people, you'll hear people say, while your unconscious mind has learned that love means chasing and instability or having to prove your worth. Right? You may consciously want freedom while familiarity feels safer. I always say this based on the psychosomatic mechanism of our mind. Our mind will rather choose a familiar pain than a familiar freedom, right? And this is why simply knowing what you should do isn't always enough, because the conscious mind can want one thing while the deeper conditioning is pulling in another direction. And by the way, guys, I'm sure you know this by now if you've been listening to my podcast over the years. Oh, remember the formula, or the— or the— not the formula, I would say the The, the, uh, the, the, the model which understanding 95% of you is a set of unconscious programs versus the 5%. So always the 95% will win, will win the battle, always go back to the default. And this is why I always say willpower fights at the top, but it tries to control the behavior. And you know, like, don't eat this and don't react and don't smoke and don't procrastinate. you know, get up earlier, work harder, be more disciplined. And there is absolutely a place for discipline, but discipline becomes exhausting when you're constantly fighting against your own internal programming. So you need to imagine trying to hold a beach ball underwater. You can do it, but you're constantly applying force, right? Constantly putting pressure And always that pressure is always moving up with the force of the water, right? So that's the model of what I call the, you know, the conscious versus the unconscious. And this is why I created the New Mind Results Formula. This is the masterclass where I dive deep into this topic. And really it's a simple formula that breaks everything down for you, that makes you understand the process makes you understand how change can actually be done and, and make you and, and really achieve lasting change and how and how and answer the question of, you know, basically instead of saying how do I change my results, you start to begin asking deeper questions. That's the intention of why I've put this masterclass together for you guys, and I would really, really encourage you guys to Check it out. It's a 30-minute video. It's me in the studio in Dubai recording and explaining this topic in much more depth, in much more detail, because I really believe that everyone in this world deserves to know this. And this is, you know, something that I start with when I, when I coach my clients. It's, it's part of my VIP masterclasses of just getting people to understand the fundamentals, because if we don't understand the fundamentals about change Then we're you know we're we're we're just rolling in the same pattern, and we are on the same sort of spiral that just brings us to one point back to another and then back and forth. So I am encouraging you, and I'm inviting you for this to to it's a gift, guys. Genuinely, this is a gift. I'm not expecting anything from you guys. Watch it, make notes, and I do believe that if you get it, get it, get it, it will start. Allowing yourself to ask the right questions and to understand your own conditioning and reflect, reflect more. It's not a motivational talk, it's really deep, you know, disclosing the formula, disclosing the, the, the model of what I call the New Mind Results Formula that will help you really understand why your results are feedback rather than the real problem, and how your state of being shapes your choices, reactions, and behaviors And why willpower alone only fails when deeper conditioning remains unchanged. So guys, take the time. I encourage you to understand this model, to understand the formula, and ultimately why creating genuinely different results requires a shift in the internal system producing it. This is not a sales pitch. This is just information that I'm willing to share with you guys that I work with, you know, high performers from all around the world that I'm always giving. But I just wanted to give this back to my listeners, back to my community, so you guys have a depth, a little bit more depth in getting to the root cause of your own patterns. Um, and if you have questions, um, if you have, you know, if you want more information, I've— I'm opening myself up to DMs or emails. There is even a, a booking on there that you guys can communicate with. Um, and my intention again, guys, is just to give back to our— to my beautiful community, my tribe that are the listeners that follow who have been following me for years now. And it's just about taking time for yourself, taking a pen and paper and watching this video maybe once, maybe twice, because you'll pick up things maybe you didn't pick up the first time. But it's very digestible, it's not long, and it's just going to help you, you know, understand the, the, the, the formula that, you know, again is going to help you understand yourself a little bit more, but really understand where how changes happen and happens, and also where and why the patterns that you currently live or that you aren't able to break— how do you actually get to breaking them, you know? And that's the work that happens underneath. And when you begin changing the system, guys, from within, the results on the outside can begin changing with it. So guys, this was a little bit of an insight around this free masterclass. and more importantly around this topic of why people continue to have the same results in their life when— and, and repeating the same patterns when they know that they are able to and what they should be doing, if that makes sense. Okay, so guys, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this short episode. I know it's not long, but it's with the intention to direct you towards the free masterclass. You will find it at the show notes It's it's that says a masterclass on it or free masterclass. You just click on it, follow the the the the the the page. It will direct you to to get and to watch the free masterclass. Much love to all of you, and thank you for making the time, and have an amazing weekend because I'm publishing this on Friday the 21st of August, and I wish you all an amazing rest. Of this month, and stay tuned for what's coming next. I've got some amazing surprises and amazing pieces of experiences that I'm going to be sharing, sharing with you all. Much love and positive energy.