10 Signs Of Love Bombing, Major Red Flags 🚩

Hey Divas! This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder, and we're talking about the 10 signs to recognize that you're being love-bombed. I had promised you this video, and so here it is now. Now, many of my clients are not aware of this story, but back in my 20s, when I was dating in Delhi, I did meet this wonderful man who was a love bomber from an affluent family. And within a few dates, Literally within a week, he had told me he loved me. I was the most wonderful woman he had ever met, and we should get married, and we should introduce our parents. And back then, because I didn't have so much experience in romance, I just went with the flow, and I allowed him to, you know, blow me off with the intensity. But it was only when I said no to sleeping with him that his mood suddenly changed, and then I never heard from him again. So the reason why I'm telling you this story is because we often think that love bombing cannot happen to us, that love bombing only happens to dumb women who, you know, don't have emotional maturity to understand that a man is love bombing them. But I want to assure you that very, very smart women also get love bombed. And I was love bombed very early in my 20s as well. And it's not a pleasant experience to have. So whether you're here because you have been love-bombed in the past, and you really want to make sure you have it knocked down, recognizing the signs of what love bombing looks like, so you're never in that situation again. Or maybe you're here because you've never been love-bombed, in which case I still recommend you to really go through the end of this video, because it's so important that you feel empowered. And if love bombing happens to you in the future, you're able to recognize it and break away from it as All right, so let's get started. Sign number 1 of love bombing, which is excessive praise. So a love bomber is going to give you out-of-this-world compliments. He's gonna tell you on date 1 that you're the most beautiful woman he's ever met, that where were you all his life, that you have the most beautiful eyes, that your smile just melts all his sorrows away. And while it may feel good to hear these things coming from a man, especially if it's a handsome, successful man, it's still a huge red flag because there is just too much. This is just too much too soon. And this is what love bombers do. They compliment you to death, and they make you feel so good about yourself in a way that almost feels unreal. So that's sign number 1. Look out for excessive praise. Number 2 is that they are going to bombard you with calls and texts. Now, they are going to be wishing you good morning, and then they're going to be wishing you good afternoon, and then at night, they're going to wish you good night. And if they haven't heard from you in the day, they'll be like, are you busy? Are you ignoring me? Oh, come on, send me a text. Or within the same day, they'll tell you, Oh, you know, if you have no time for me, then I am going to, you know, not even try. So all that kind of drama, intensity and drama, and lots of calls and lots of texts, which freak any healthy, normal woman out. So if that's happening, it's not healthy. Love bombers say they're doing it because they're into you. But remember, nobody can be into you so quickly. Hence, this is a red flag. Red flag number 2. Now, red flag number 3 is that they're going to convince you you're soulmates. This is really funny because some of my clients, when they are dating these men and these men seem to be doing everything right, and then they'll show me the text and I'll go like, ooh, that's not normal. He's telling you that you and him have been meant to be together forever, and where have you been all his life? And he's telling you that he trusts you 100%. But he's only been with you for 2 dates. This is unhealthy behavior. So a lot of the times, even very smart, successful women are not able to recognize when somebody is acting so nice and narrating long stories about why they are supposed to be soulmates with this person. So watch out for this kind of language. Watch out for language that says, you know, I've never met anyone like you. Where have you been all my life? And what will I do without you? Or on date 1, are you going to miss me? Are you going to miss my voice? And yeah, it's just too much, too soon. Which brings me actually to the next sign, which is pretty connected to sign number 3, which is that they want commitment and exclusivity really fast. Now, I can tell you from personal experience, I'm married to a really healthy, empowered man, and there is no way that a healthy, empowered man is going to want to lock down a woman on date 2 or date 3. I remember when Christopher asked me, what are we doing here? It was already around 2, 2 and a half months of dating, where he said, okay, where do we see this going? You know, what is this? I'd like to have a conversation around it. But before that, I mean, it would be— it's totally unhealthy if somebody wants to lock you down on date 2 or date 3. That is why, you know, it's a sign of love bombing. It's a sign of— it's a red flag because No healthy man can know that he wants to be with you and wants to choose you as a partner within 2-3 dates. So any man who's doing that is coming from an unhealthy tendency of wanting to just lock you down and have no competition, and then sleep with you and have no threat from any other men, make sure you're not seeing anyone else. And so this is a really non-genuine Really unhealthy way of trying to date a woman. And so fast commitment, fast exclusivity is a really huge red flag that I want my clients to notice, and I want my community to notice and not fall for it. Number 5 is love bombers don't do well with your boundaries. Now, if you have watched my last video on what is love bombing, you will know that I explain love bombing as this emotional manipulation technique, where you want to give a lot to the woman that you're dating, and in that sense, make her feel like she owes you something back. Now, when you draw your boundaries and when you say no, the love bomber doesn't like it, because the love bomber feels that, hey, but I gave you so much and I invested so much in you. You should be wanting to sleep with me at this point. You should not be wanting to date anybody else at this point. So love bombers do not like our no, because Love bombers like to have that sense of control over us, and if we draw boundaries, if we are saying, I can do this time but not this time, I can't be available and texting all day long, they're not going to like it. And the way they're going to go about this is make you feel bad about yourself, make you feel like a bad person, make you feel like you're being a bitch, right? Like, how can you ignore me? And how can you ignore my texts? It's a lot of drama and it's just outright unhealthy. And this is so important that you ladies do not bow down on your boundaries. I'm so proud of myself that even as a 20-year-old, 21-year-old, I did not bow down on my boundaries just because somebody took me out for a few fancy dinners. So it's very important to notice this red flag if a man is violating your boundaries or guilt-tripping you around your boundaries, meaning, trying to make you feel bad about having a boundary. Remember, boundaries are a high-value woman's hallmark. Boundaries is what makes men take you seriously, and you never, ever want to give them up because some random guy is making you feel like you owe him the world just because he's done a few nice things for you. Now, number 6 sign of love bombing is they say, I love you, straight away. Just like They want exclusivity fast. They want commitment fast. They also tend to say, I love you, really fast. Now, you should notice this. If this happens day 2, day 3, day 4 even, this is unhealthy. It is not possible, 99% of the times, to be in love with someone that you hardly know. So what's happening here is the love bomber is just repeating their intensity pattern, and they are trying to get you hooked in really, really fast in an unhealthy way. Now, number 7 is larger-than-life gestures, romantic gestures. While it's totally normal that a masculine, healthy man would want to please you and would want to impress you and would want to take you out and do nice things with you, you always want to be a little wary of somebody coming in on date 1 and taking you to the Ritz, and then on date to already wanting to book a helicopter and take you for a fly above the River Hudson. And then for date 3, they want to ship you away to Morocco and, I don't know, to Tunisia and be on a 5-star beach. I think it's all too much too soon, which is the hallmark of the love bomber. It's all too much too soon. And remember, with men, as I teach inside my program, Leap Into Love, which you totally want to check out on samiwunder.com, by the way. With men, it's always about this energy they have. They want to please us. A healthy man wants to please us. A healthy man wants to make us happy. But when it's a love bomber, he's always doing those grand gestures to get something in return. And this is what you want to be wary of. Of course, it's normal that somebody wants to make you happy, but if somebody wants to do one 5-star thing after And it's so fast, and it's so extravagant, then the love bomber, unfortunately, is going to want something in return for it. So this is a red flag. You want to watch out for it. The next one is, they're going to benchmark themselves higher than the other people in your life. So a love bomber's psychology is that, I'm into you, I love you, I care about you, I'm doing everything for you, Why are your friends still important? Why is your family still important? Why are they taking your time? Why don't I get your time? Why don't I get to be the center of attention? So a love bomber is always going to first come in, and then once he has made you trust him and you have started to have feelings for him, you're starting to fall for the intensity, The love bomber is then going to try to separate your people from you because he wants to be the center of the attention. Now, this is a huge red flag because any healthy masculine man who cares about you, who may not love you on date 2, 3, 4, but who cares about you, would never want to separate you from people that matter to you or that are important to you. But a love bomber will, because it's not about your happiness, it's about him feeling in control around you and feeling in control of you, which actually brings me to the next point, which is connected. The love bomber is going to want to control your life. So again, do not think that this stuff only happens to stupid women or women who are not educated. This happens to the best of the best women, and I work with leaders, CEOs, really successful entrepreneurs and women. And I can tell you that even they fall for love bombers, and they let men enter their lives in an intense kind of way. And then these men enter, and then they start to control their lives. So, for example, with one of my clients, the man entered her business and started to control her business and started to fill her up against her team and said that your team is not good to you, and your team is not nice to you, and you should fire them all, and you should just trust me. And this is such an unhealthy pattern. Now, it's interesting because if you're smart about this, if you've educated yourself on this topic, you're not going to let it come so far, right? So most of you, if you have gone through the 9 signs with me so far, My desire is that you're going to be able to pick up quite early on in the process that you are being love-bombed, and so you will not end up in a relationship with such a person. But if you do end up in a relationship with this person, here's what's going to happen. He's going to control you because that's his psychology. He derives his sense of validation and confidence by controlling you. And this can be so abusive, this can be so sad, this can be so traumatic for the person who is going through this. Of course, my desire for my community is that none of my clients get into this kind of relationship, that all my clients are very quickly able to recognize that they're being love-bombed and that they're able to separate themselves from it. Tip number 10 is that they will manipulate you. Now, I have to confess, I'm not a big believer in the word manipulation because I believe that you can't make an empowered person do anything they don't want to do. But when I look at the world and I see so many high-achieving, successful women struggling in love and not really having the skills and the education to understand what is healthy in love, what is unhealthy in love, then I do believe that people can still be manipulated, simply because— not because they're victims and not because they don't have the power to control their own life and the outcomes they want, but simply because they have not been exposed to the education that is needed to become empowered in love. And so you can be manipulated by a love bomber. He can come on so strong and look perfect and make everything perfect, make everything feel perfect, and then in a very calculated manner, separate you from the people who love you, start to get critical around you, Start to control your choices, what you wear, where you go, start commenting on your looks. So it can turn really toxic. Now, I do not like to spend a lot of time on talking about toxic relationships. I'm a big believer that if you just watch for the red flags, you should never get into a toxic relationship in the first place. place. These are the 10 signs you absolutely do not want to ignore, and they are the 10 signs that a man is love bombing you. Now, in the next video, I have good news. I'm going to be giving to you how to get rid of a love bomber. What is it that you can do to never be love bombed again? Now, in order to get that brand new content, all you have to do is make sure you have subscribed to my channel, If you're watching this on YouTube, just click the subscribe button below that you see. It's big and green. And also hit the bell icon so that every time there is a new video from us, you get a notification and you're able to continue your education and your empowerment in creating healthy romantic love in your lives. This is Dating& Relationship Sami, Coach Sami Wunder, and I am so excited, so thrilled you're here. And I will see you next on what can you do about love bombing and how to never get love bombed again. See you around, ladies. Bye! Bye!