In this 2020 YouTube video, dating coach Sami Wunder addresses ambitious, high‑achieving women and outlines five red‑flag behaviors that should not be tolerated during the early dating phase. She defines each behavior, explains why it is harmful, and offers a concise “Diva Tip” on how to recognize and reject it. The five behaviors are: (1) hot‑and‑cold treatment – a man who is charming on dates but disappears afterward, leaving the woman feeling insecure; (2) lack of emotional connection – a man who is only interested in sex and shows no curiosity about the woman’s inner life; (3) controlling personal choices – a man who tries to dictate what she wears, who she sees, or her career decisions; (4) constant criticism – a man who repeatedly critiques her appearance, personality, or habits, often mirroring childhood patterns; and (5) boundary‑pushing – a man who ignores or shames her “no” on matters like alcohol, travel, or sexual pace. For each, she urges women to stop tolerating the behavior, emphasizing that they deserve consistent respect and emotional safety. The video concludes with a promotional call‑to‑action directing viewers to samiwunder.com for further coaching.
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Hello, my lovely ones! This is Sami Wunder, your fiercely successful, fiercely loved dating and relationship coach for the ambitious, high-achieving woman who is ready to attract the love of her life. In this video, we are talking about the 5 top behaviors you should not be tolerating from men in the dating phase. Let's get started right away. Behavior number 1 is the hot and cold behavior. What is the hot and cold behavior? This is when a man makes you feel like a queen when you are on a date with him, but when the date is over, he's gone, he's disappeared, you hear nothing from him. Now, a lot of the times, women get caught up in the chemistry that they feel on the date with such a man, but what they neglect is how he makes them feel When he is not around. So when you go without weeks of hearing from this man, how does it really feel? He makes you feel insecure, he makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells, and yet we women, we keep chasing that high that we feel with such a man on a date, and we completely neglect how crappy we feel in between the dates. So the Diva Tip here for you is, You don't have to tolerate this hot and cold behavior from a man. You deserve to feel good around a man, not just when you're on a date with him, but also when you are not on a date with him, which really means that he's going to keep in touch. He's going to send you a text once in a while. He's not just going to disappear and vanish from the face of the earth. So don't tolerate hot and cold behavior. You deserve much more, and trust me, there are many amazing men out there who know how to make you feel special, not just on a date, but also in between. Behavior number 2 that you don't want to tolerate is a man who doesn't value emotional connection. Yes, every once in a while, you're going to come across that horny hottie who just wants to get in your pants, and yes, he is crackingly good-looking, but hey girl, if you're looking to build a real relationship, then you need to value emotional connection. And you need to have a relationship with a man who values emotional connection. In other words, if a man doesn't give a crap about getting to know you, understanding more about you, being curious about what makes you laugh and what makes you cry and what your biggest fears are and what your biggest dreams are, then he's not the kind of man you can possibly build a real committed relationship with. So ignore these men, say bye-bye to them, if you have a man who just values sexual connection and does not value any kind of emotional connection. The 3rd kind of behavior you don't want to tolerate from men is the man who controls your personal choices. Yes, we're living in the 21st century, and a man doesn't get to tell you what you should wear, who you should meet, what is the best job for you, Are you allowed to work after marriage or not? No, a man doesn't get to control those highly personal choices. And if you're seeing this behavior in early dating from a man, you're better off without him. See this as a red flag and get rid of Mr. Hyper-Controlling. Behavior number 4, constant criticism around who you are. You know, if we have had a childhood where we were often criticized by our parents or our primary caregivers, and we always had to prove our worth to them by proving how we could be a good girl, we are often likely to attract a similar romantic partner in our love lives who will be around us, and instead of making us feel loved, this man is going to constantly criticize you. He's going to tell you how you should do everything better. He's going to tell you how you should dress better, how you should be more social, how you're too introverted or how you're too extroverted, and how you should brush your hair, and how you should ramp up your stockings— choice in stockings, and even clean your teeth. I mean, this is the man who is critical about almost everything you do. But very often, women don't realize this because we women might have had a childhood where we've constantly had to prove our worth, and so we think this is normal. And I'm here to tell you, this is not normal, and you don't have to go through this. You don't have to accept constant criticism from a man you are dating, because you deserve to feel good in love, not bad, not bullied, not constantly told what is missing or not good enough about you. Behavior number 5 that you don't want to tolerate in dating is a man who constantly challenges your boundaries. You say no to the second glass of wine and he pushes you into having it. And if you keep saying no, he shames you for it and tells you you're not fun enough or cool enough. Or maybe you say, no, I don't want to travel that far to see you, and he guilt-trips you into driving 2 hours to see him because otherwise you're not caring enough or not a good person. Or maybe you tell him it's too soon for sex and you like to take it slow and you like to take your own time. And he pushes you and pushes you and tells you you're not sexy enough or you're not relaxed enough and how this is the most normal way to date, watch the signs. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Your boundaries need to be respected. A man who's truly into you will be able to handle your boundaries. In fact, your boundaries is what makes a high-value man feel more attracted to you. Someone who's constantly challenging your boundaries and constantly pushing them You need to push this guy out of your life and show him the door. Those are the top 5 behaviors, my Diva Queens, you don't need to tolerate from men in early dating. To find more help and information about how to date with your high-value Diva Queen energy, visit samiwunder.com. I'm so excited to help you find your dream love in the high-value way.
