5 Signs You’re In A Situationship & He's Not Serious About You | Sami Wunder

Hey there, gorgeous Wunder Diva! Are you in a committed, exclusive relationship, but you don't feel sure about where you stand with this man? Or maybe you said yes to being sexually exclusive with him, but you wonder, is he really serious about you, or is he just in it for sex and convenience? Well, worry not, because I got you! This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder, and in this video, I'm going to be giving you the 5 signs that you are in a situationship with a man and not in a committed, bonded relationship with him. And I really invite you to watch the video right to the end, because out of the 5 signs, I believe the 5th sign that I'm going to be giving you at the end of the video is actually the most surprising and something that always surprises and amazes my clients when they learn about it. So by the end of this video, our goal is that you have crystal clarity on where you stand with this man, who is right now giving you confusing signals. Okay, so let's get started. What is a situationship? Well, a situationship is basically a kind of a romantic interaction or relationship where 2 parties come together because it's easy for them, and because it's convenient for them, and because the situation calls for it. So, to give you an example, if a man is just getting out of a divorce, he may not be ready for a real committed partnership, but he might be casually dating because he is looking for something easy, something that doesn't take a lot out of him, or where the woman doesn't expect a lot of commitment and effort from his side. Now, this could, of course, also be true for women. Even women could actively choose to be in situationships. So let's say you are a very busy leader, CEO, businesswoman, and you literally don't have time, bandwidth, and capacity in your life right now for a serious relationship. And so you might choose to go with a man where you are friends with benefits, it's really casual, and you are in a situationship because it is easy for you, it is convenient for you, and both parties are happy. However, the rule of a situationship is that you're not supposed to expect more than what the agreement is. Now, this becomes confusing and painful when a woman finds herself— and maybe you are finding yourself in this situation— where you have more expectations from this commitment, this relationship, but your partner or the man thinks this is only for now, this is only for convenience. And this is where a lot of pain and heartbreak and disappointment can happen, when a woman is expecting more but she's not getting it because her partner is not truly it for a long-term commitment, but more because it is easy and convenient for him right now. So on that note, let's see if you are finding yourself in a situationship. Sign #1 of a situationship is that there is rarely ever a talk about the future. In other words, you may be sleeping with this man, you may be visiting his home regularly, he may be visiting you regularly, but there is literally never any conversation about what happens Over the next few months, what happens over the next year. There is no plan, there is no vision for the future. Now, men who tend to be actively choosing situationships actually are really happy about this kind of arrangement with a woman where, you know, she doesn't ask you for more, and she's happy to meet you, she's happy to sleep with you. And as a man, you get to protect your freedom, you get to protect your lifestyle, you don't have to listen to her cry because, well, it's a situationship, right? She's not your true partner, She's not somebody you are going to marry one day. So this kind of relationship, where there is literally no future talk, or a man is avoiding the future talk, is a very dangerous and visible sign of being in a situationship. So I literally had a client inside ELEVATE who told us that she's been seeing this man for 10 years, a decade, and there's never been any talk of exclusivity. There's never been any talk of commitment, marriage, moving in, living together. So there is literally no plan for the future, and this is a classic example of being in a situationship. Now, as I said at the start of this video, if this is what you want, then there is nothing wrong with it. But the problem starts when you want more, but he's not in it for more. He's only in it for the present moment. That's sign number 1. Now let's look at sign number 2 that you are in a situationship. Sign number 2 is that you tend to have very routine and regular dates. It's like you're one part of his life, and then there is the rest of his life. And usually, these dates are routine, so maybe you see each other once a week, and that's it. The intimacy is not growing in a situationship. In a situationship, both people are saying, this is all we want. This is the level at which we want to commit. And as I said, if both agree with it, that's cool. But a lot of our clients, they are actually upset by it that a man will not see them more than once a week or not see them more than twice a month. And this is because the man is in it for the convenience of having it his way and what works for his life and what works for his schedule. And he's not truly bonding and he's not truly there for you in a way a partner should be, and he doesn't want to be, right? So this is, again, where it becomes painful for you if you are looking for more. Now, sign number 3 is that he has other major priorities in his life. And even though when you guys meet, it feels good, it is also true for you that the minute he leaves your home or the date is over, you can see that everything else becomes more important for him— his work, his children— and feel like you are at the bottom of that priority list. Well, I can tell you that when you are in a serious, committed relationship with a man, how you feel is very important to him, and spending quality time with you is very important for him. So anytime you start to feel in a relationship where you're not married to this person, but you're either dating him, or you are sexually exclusive with him, or maybe you even said yes to being girlfriend really quickly, But you find that you're not on top of his priority, you could be running into the trap of being in a situationship. Now, sign number 4, and this is really interesting, is that there is a low level of emotional availability in a situationship. So you're supposed to be happy and bright and have a good time and attend parties together and drink wine together and laugh together and make love together. But when it comes to you expressing your needs, maybe it's for more quality time, maybe it's for more attention, maybe it's for meeting your family, maybe it's about talking about the future and having a plan, maybe it's about traveling together, going somewhere together, buying a house together, having a kid together— every time there is a need for that person that you're seeing or with to step up and give you more, because you deserve it and because that's what a true committed relationship looks It's where we are making the commitment to this person that we care about them, we care about their well-being, they care about us, they care about our well-being. And so every time you bring up something that is slightly uncomfortable for him and talks about the future or needs him to step up and be there for you in a more robust way than what he's been so far, he is going to block you out. He's either going to block you out, Or he's going to get angry at you, or he's going to get defensive at you, or he's going to ask you not to be difficult, or he's going to tell you to stop being so demanding, and basically make you doubt yourself and feel like you're the crazy person here. Like, how dare you expect all this inside a committed relationship? But this is actually one of the biggest signs of low emotional unavailability, low emotional availability of a man, and it is a sign that you should pay heed to, because this is the recipe for your misery in a committed partnership. If a man is not interested and not available for dealing with any of your tough emotions, dealing with any of your needs, he is not in a committed relationship with you. You are in a situationship with him, and this person is clearly not willing to give you more. And on that note, we are on sign number 5, which is what I thought was most surprising for so many of my clients, where they were truly aghast that this was a sign of being in a situationship. So what is this, number 5? This sign of a situationship is when a man is available for high-ticket experiences. Maybe he books a first-class flight to Italy for you, and you guys have a great travel. And a great holiday and great sex. But then when you come back in your everyday life, he's not present. So he's only present for the high-energy experiences. He's only present for the high-vibe experiences. But when it comes to day-to-day experience, everyday life, experiencing true life together, which is not always a walk on red carpet— I can tell you that as a mom. It's not a walk on the red carpet every day. But he's not available for that. And this is a great sign of a situationship, because one of my clients inside Elevate Relationships group, she was in this very fast relationship, so she joined Elevate for singles, and within 2 weeks, she said yes to being exclusive with this man that she thought was really attractive and amazing, and he asked her to be his girlfriend, and she said yes. And then what started to happen was that, you know, he would do really grand gestures for her, and she wanted to shift to the Elevate Relationships group because she was like, Sami, I'm in a committed relationship. And I was like, hold on, we don't know if you're in a committed relationship. Please give it time, because it takes time for men to bond. It takes time for you to really evaluate if somebody is your partner forever. And she did insist on going to the relationships group, so we sent her to the relationships group. And then what happened was that he was always preparing these really mega experiences for her. And so, like, she would get this big bouquet of flowers, and then there would be a mega 5-star holiday planned for her. But in the middle, he would disappear for weeks. In the middle, he wasn't available when she was having a hard time with her kids. She's a single mother. And so she was amazed that he could do all these grand gestures and still not be in a committed, bonded relationship with her. And this is what we tried to tell her. We said, you know, it takes time for a true, committed, bonded relationship to happen. And that's why in the ELEVATE Singles Group, we teach you ladies to pace men, because just jumping into something and saying yes to sexual exclusivity can often So disturb the power balance in a relationship, because as women, we think this is our person and he's thinking about the long term. But it could just be about the now and about convenience and about literally sleeping with you. They could just be about sex, you know? So men will come for you for convenience, for sex. And if you do not pace men and if you do not draw your boundaries and if you do not honor how a man makes you feel and honor your own heart in the process, you can be going down a very painful path. So what do we do about this? If you are finding yourself in a situationship, we would love to help you turn this around. And one of the fastest ways to turn this around is to come work with us inside ELEVATE, which is my 6-month-long group coaching program. It is currently enrolling in its final phase, and we do have a few seats left within the program before we close it down and serve our current clients. Inside ELEVATE, we help single women find and keep amazing love in record time, and we help women in relationships, especially in situations like this and in situationships, turn the tables around and get the guy to be pursuing you, and get the guy to be committing to you, and get the guy wondering where he stands with you, so that you can again feel more powerful, feel more empowered in this kind of dynamic. So ELEVATE is 6 months long. It has 6 months of live coaching support with myself and my amazing team of brilliant coaches, and it is the number one way to access me at a mid-level 4-figure investment. And I actually love working with you inside ELEVATE where you don't just have me and my brains and my expertise, but you have coaching abilities with my coaches, and you have all these wonderful women surrounding you from all parts of the world who are as invested in their love success, in their personal life success, as you are. So ELEVATE has 3 elements that you get when you sign up. The first is weekly live coaching calls. So you get 24 live coaching calls where you can talk to me and my coaches, ask your questions, get support. It's really intimate and personalized because we don't give cookie-cutter answers inside ELEVATE. We are really interested in getting to know you, getting to know your story, and helping you figure out where your blind spots may be, and why certain patterns with men keep repeating in your life, and how you can break through them so that you can attract a different outcome and do so quickly. Number 2, what you get inside ELEVATE is a Facebook group community where I'm hanging out, my coaches are hanging out, there are surprise livestreams, and coaching hot seats with me, and just amazing support where you can ask your questions daily for 6 months. It's priceless. And number 3, what you get is my Love Success Framework, which is my 8-module curriculum to help you get the results you desire in your love life and help you go, if you're single, from early dating to mid-level dating to the proposal and commitment. And if you're in a relationship, to really enhance the attraction, the polarity, the physical intimacy, the emotional connection you have with your man. Elevate is truly the place to be for the modern woman of today who understands that, yes, we can invest in the outside, we can buy handbags and makeup and do Botox and look pretty, but we must not forget to invest on the inside, which is where our self-esteem and self-worth and confidence and boundaries and choices come from. So if you're a woman who values not just how you look, but also how you feel, I would love to see you inside ELEVATE. Click the link below in the video description to check out ELEVATE. And if it's calling you, come have a seat with us. You are going to have a life-changing experience, as hundreds and hundreds of our success stories from the program will confirm. If you have questions about ELEVATE, you are welcome to also book a free consultation with a trained coach from my team who is going to be very happy to make sure that all your questions about ELEVATE are answered before you join us. But hurry, because we are so excited to have you inside and give you a head start with the curriculum straight away. Check out ELEVATE below and see you soon!