Afraid To Make Mistakes In Dating?
In this YouTube video, certified dating coach Sami Wunder addresses a common fear among high‑achieving career women: the anxiety of making mistakes on dates or in relationships. She frames the issue as a clash between the desire to apply learned concepts about feminine energy and the tendency to over‑think during real‑time interactions. Wunder proposes two key perspectives. First, she advises separating inner work (studying worksheets, listening to audios, processing concepts) from the actual date, urging women to be fully present—embodying feminine energy through active listening, sensory awareness, and genuine engagement—while trusting that their subconscious has already absorbed the coaching material and will surface when needed. Second, she reframes perfectionism as a masculine, controlling mindset, emphasizing that the right partner will not abandon a woman for minor slip‑ups; instead, maintaining high, positive energy is crucial for attracting a soulmate. Throughout, she uses supportive, conversational language, shares personal coaching practices, and concludes with an invitation to book a complimentary connection call for women serious about pursuing love in 2018.
Chapters
Hi there, ladies! Whether you are a newbie to my work or you have been following this work forever and have all my programs, if you're the woman who is afraid of making mistakes on her dates or making mistakes with her man in her relationship, then this video is for you. And what I'm gonna give you in this video is going to change the game for you. My name is Sami Wunder. I am a certified dating and relationship coach for high-achieving career women like you, who would want to marry, meet, attract their Soulmate. So this is a question that was asked by one of my clients in my Inner Circle Group Coaching Program, and I think it's such a brilliant question. Basically, what it asks is, Sami, I am so overwhelmed I am doing all your programs, I love all this information that you give us, and it makes a lot of sense, but when I go on those dates, when I go to meet a man, I find myself feeling really scared of making mistakes. I find myself up in my head, trying to think whether I am doing it right or doing it wrong. Am I leaning forward too much, or am I being in my masculine energy? or am I talking too much, or am I, you know, walking too fast? So all kinds of judgments come up in my mind, and I find myself not really being able to enjoy myself on these dates because I'm constantly worried I'm doing something wrong. If you relate with this, let me know in the comments below, because I feel this is such a brilliant question, and I'm so glad she brought it up. So here's what I'm gonna do, and this is going to be a really quick video. I want you to understand perspectives that I believe are going to change your life, really change your life, when it comes to dating and your relationships and your relationship with mistakes or making mistakes. So the first perspective is here. Firstly, I want you to understand that I completely relate with the fact that all this information can be really overwhelming for you, whether you are new or you have been doing this work forever, because of course there's a part of you that wants to do it right. Yes, you've learnt about the magic of Feminine Energy, and you've learnt about how so many of my clients have attracted amazing relationships and marriages with this work, and so of course, there's that urge to do it right. So here's what I want to tell you: I get this urge, but I want you to look at this work in the following way. There is a part of this work which is your part of the work. Or your inner work. So I want you to look at all this information that you're learning about femininity, leaning back, boundaries, vulnerability, and I want you to literally sit with your coffee, take notes, wear your pajamas, and process things and do your worksheets and really, you know, take the time to absorb this information for yourself, for your brain to process it. But this is the part of your work, your inner work, which you do by yourself. But the minute you get on a date with a man, the minute you are out there in the world of men interacting, allowing them to open your car door or really just being there on a physical date, I want you to forget everything, forget everything you learnt and really just be 100% freaking present to the person in front of you, to the man in front of you. So feminine energy, feminine energy at its best is full presence in the moment. And you don't realize it, but when you listen to the programs and when you listen to those audios again and again and again, your subconscious brain is actually processing all of that information. It is right there. And this is something I talk about in my Leap Into Love program, which is my advanced program for single women, where I say, you know, girls, it's very normal that when you first do these programs and you first learn all these concepts, you're going to feel overwhelmed and you're going to feel scared of making a mistake. But really, your subconscious brain is constantly listening and your subconscious brain is going to pull out that information for you as and when you need it. Okay? You don't have to be on a date and be worried about making mistakes, because when that moment arrives, When you need to depend on that new information that you've learned, you want to be able to trust yourself that your subconscious brain is going to give you that signal and it's going to show itself in the way you behave on that date, as and when needed, with the new information that you have. So really, ladies, when you are on the date, and this is also something I am training my coaches with, the women I am training, that I give them a lot of information, I have given them everything I know, And then I say, but when you have a client, you wanna forget everything and you wanna be 100% with the person in front of you. That's exactly how I coach. I have a lot of skills, a lot of techniques and tools, but when my client comes in front of me on the session, I forget everything and I be 100% present. Yeah. So this is the most important skill you want to bring to your dates and you wanna bring to your relationships, you wanna bring to your men. What does 100% It looks like really enjoying the moment, being in your body, being appreciative of all that is around you that feels good, being in your physical senses— smelling, tasting, feeling— all of that is full presence. Active listening is full presence. So really, just forget everything when you're on that date or when your man comes in front of you and just be 100% present. Present. That work of all the information, all the tools, all the concepts that you're learning is for you to work with. So you have to take out time in your evenings, and you have to listen to the programs, and you have to do your worksheets, but that stuff is for you to do. You don't have to go on a date and think about it. You don't have to go on a date— because the minute you go on a date and think about it, you're not in your feminine energy at all. You're not flowing at all. You're up in your head trying to get things right. and that's never gonna be flow energy. So let me know if this perspective helps you, because I don't want you to feel the burden of getting things right on a date. I want you to go out there and enjoy yourself and trust yourself that when a defining moment comes, when you need to pull out your new behaviors, you need to implement your new knowledge, you are gonna be able to pull it out of your subconscious because your brain has heard it over and over and over again. So that's the first perspective, which I do believe It's going to change the game for you if you really apply it. Full presence on your dates. Number 2 perspective is this: we are not looking for perfection in this work, because perfection is hardcore masculine energy. Perfection is all about getting it right, and that is hardcore masculine energy. What we want to remember is that even if we make a mistake, so even if there is a classic Textbook situation where Sami Wunder says, this is the ideal way to behave, or this is the ideal response to the situation, but you behave otherwise. So what? So what? You wanna remember that the right man for you is not gonna care about perfection. The right man for you is not gonna run away just because you sent him a text. The right man for you is not gonna run away just because you've had a bad day and, you know, you said something that was a bit fearful or a bit leaning forward. So it's very important that we understand that the right man for us is not gonna leave us just because on a given day we are not being our perfect or our best selves. So this is a really important concept or an important mindset to have when you are in the process of attracting your Soulmate, which is, really understanding that perfection is not the goal at all. The right man for you loves you and desires you even when you're having a bad hair day, even when you make a mistake, even when you lean forward once in a while and you know you shouldn't be doing it, but you can't help yourself and you do it anyway. By definition, the right man for you does not leave you when you make a mistake. Now, I'm not talking about out-of-balance Reactions. I'm not talking about out— like, you know, a woman goes out and has an affair just because she's allowed to make mistakes. Now, I'm not talking about out-of-balance reactions, or, you know, you hit your man, or you send a really mean message abusing someone. Those are really out-of-balance reactions. But any mistake in the purview of, yeah, you know, Yeah, I could have done this better, but I could not, and that's okay. And the right man for me is not gonna leave just because I made that little error. In the Soulmate Attraction process, your energy has to be top. This is something that I'm gonna be talking to my Inner Circle Divas in the next livestream that we have scheduled. Your energy has to be top in the Soulmate Attraction process, and if you If you're going to use this work to beat yourself up and to be really self-conscious and to really be scared of making a mistake, you're just not going to have fun, and you're going to make it a torture for yourself. We can never attract our soulmates from a place of heaviness and self-torture and self-doubt and self-questioning, right? So we want our energy to be top. We want to feel good, and the way we feel good is by those 2 perspectives: number one, full presence, Your presence is a gift to the man on the date. Your presence is a gift to your man in the relationship, in the marriage. Give him that full presence. Forget everything. And then once he's not there, you sit, you do your work on yourself, you do your worksheets, you listen to the audios, you watch the videos, and you really process that information in your mind. And the way the mind works is that it will absorb those tips, It will absorb those new behaviors, and you will be able to pull it out at a moment that you really need it. Perspective number 2: Perfection is not needed. The right man for me, the right man for you, is not going to leave me just because I'm having a hard day, or just because I'm having a bad moment, or just because I'm having an off moment. As amazing as I am— yes, I am amazing— As amazing as I am, I really want you to know that once in a while, I also slip, and I also go into my masculine. Maybe I've been doing a lot of work, and when my husband comes home, I'm still in my masculine energy, and I'm not having the best moment in that moment. So what? So what, girls? He can handle it. He can deal with it. There's so much more amazingness, and that little mistake or that little energetic blob is not going to make the right man for you run away from you. So really give up on this fear of doing things wrong and approach this work from the place of, what can I learn here? What can I do better? And use that information to empower yourself. And then once you are in front of a man, forget all this information, enjoy yourself, have fun, and trust, trust that any new information that you need, your brain is gonna give it to you. Your brain is gonna respond to you in a way that It's going to help you in the moment you need that information. Good energy, ladies, good energy is so important for Soulmate Attraction, and we don't want to use this work to beat ourselves up, to feel down about it, to get annoyed with ourselves that why do we make mistakes. Mistakes are going to happen. The right man for you is not going to run away just because you made a mistake. Attitude, perspective, So key for having good energy when you're in soulmate attraction process. So I hope this was helpful. I hope this is going to ease the burden that you might be feeling with all this new information on you. And you— I would love to invite you, those of you who are sincere and serious about this work and know that 2018 is your year for soulmate attraction and love, to connect with me on a complimentary The spots for these connection calls are limited. I have left the link to the connection calls right above in the title of this video, and all you have to do is fill out the form, fill out the booking form, give me as much detail as possible in order to be accepted, because we get many form requests and we are not able to offer a call to everyone. But if you give me enough information and if I feel like I can help you, I will definitely book you in. Thank you so much, Sami. We're going to get on that call for free, we're going to help you, and we're going to see how we can support you further in achieving your dreams. Ladies, go for that big love. Really go for that big love. It's possible, it's yours, and all you have to do is commit to your dreams fully and show up for yourself. Take that inspired action today. I hope this video was helpful. Go book a connection call with me, give me all your details, all your struggles, where you would like to be helped, and I will see see if we're a good match and get on that call with you. Lots of love. Have the best of Sundays. Big kiss to everybody, all my divas, magnificent, lovely divas. Bye-bye. Bye, girls.
