Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Are YOU chasing the guy?

4 Aug 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:08

In this concise YouTube monologue, relationship coach Sami Wunder explains how women can identify when they are energetically chasing a man and why they should step back. She argues that if a woman finds herself constantly waiting for his texts, immediately replying, and obsessively planning dates, it signals a chase mindset. By pausing and reducing her own outreach, she can test whether the man will increase his effort and investment. Wunder emphasizes that a healthy relationship requires reciprocal energy and mutual initiation, not a one‑sided pursuit.

Chapters

If you feel like you're chasing a guy, you probably are, and it's time to step back. I think, as women, we are very smart, and if we slow down enough to listen to ourselves, we know what energy we're giving out. So if you have the slightest doubt that you're energetically chasing a guy, you're waiting on his texts, and the minute he texts, you text back, and then you can't wait to ask him when he's taking you out, when are you guys meeting, what's the plan— if you're feeling like, am I doing it too much? Am I being too eager? You probably are. Are, because that question wouldn't even arise in your head if you were relaxed and you were feeling like this man's energy is coming towards you consistently. If you have even the smallest inkling within yourself that, am I chasing this person? You probably are, and it's time to step back and see if you step back your energy, will they step up their energy and will they invest more in you? Because a relationship must go both ways. It cannot just be you initiating, being excited, and being invested in this person. They have to do give you that back as well.