Are You Falling For Hot And Cold Men?

The allure of the hot and cold man, and why he's so good at driving some super amazing women crazy in love. So welcome to this livestream. This is Sami Wunder, dating and relationship expert for fiercely successful women who also want to be fiercely successful in love. I'm checking in live with unshampooed hair, directly from my bathroom, because it's getting really boring sitting in my office. So, in this livestream, we're going to talk about the hot and cold man. And I can see within 2 seconds, there are so many of you watching this, so I can only imagine how relevant this topic must feel for all you single ladies. And I can't wait to break it down for you. So, before we get started, if you're watching this in the private group, make sure you say hi in the comments. Let me know where you're joining from, and let me know if you have already signed signed up for the Building Emotional Attraction with High-Caliber Men program. This is a program that is happening live with me this Friday to Sunday. And if you're smart, if you're a smart woman, you will have enrolled yourself into this program because I cannot tell you the importance of understanding how differently men connect with women versus how women connect with women, and how I see so many amazing women go on so many first dates, second dates, constantly trying to build a rotation of men, and men constantly giving them the feedback, you're lovely, but I don't feel anything, or, you're lovely, but I don't feel a connection. How many of us have heard that? You're wonderful, but I don't feel a connection. Hey, Ruta! Hello, hello! Hello, everyone who's joining! Yay, Shilpa, for signing up! Yay, Dora, for signing up! Awesome! So many times, we get that feedback from men, and we just keep going in circles. We just keep doing the same thing again and again. We think that just getting more dates is the answer, but I truly believe getting more dates is not the answer because— I'm not sure. You're going to show up the same way. And when you show up the same way without changing your inner world and without changing your inner world and without really understanding how you're showing up, that is not letting men connect with you. Because I truly believe it's like some of us, we have walls around us that men can't seem to break through. And when they can't seem to break through it, they're like, okay, I'm not feeling it. I'm not going to try. This is so relevant for single women who are going through the cycle, going through the dates, talking on phone, talking to many men, and things are not developing for the long term. This is also extremely relevant for women in relationships. I mean, I must be crazy. I honestly must be crazy because I could have done one program for both singles and and women in relationships. But I was like, no, I don't want my women in relationships to sit and listen to what I'm teaching the singles. So I'm going to do 2 separate programs. So that's what's happening. I am doing 2 separate programs for single women and women in relationships so that, you know, the program is totally catered to your particular relationship status. So I'm going to be working twice as much, but I want this to be really good for you. And here's the thing, I am not going to be doing a live program for the next 6 to 8 months. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. And this is, you know, a sleazy marketeer would say this to get people in, but you know, that's not me. I've had some huge personal life changes going on in my life right now. And it's a decision I've taken for myself that this is going to be the last program I teach live in a long time. So unless you're one of my private clients who pay €15K for 2 months to work with me, you know that accessing my energy and being in my energy minimally takes being in the inner circle for €6,000. And so if you wanna experience this live, if you wanna move ahead, if you want to Um, have breakthroughs. Um, this is your chance, ladies, and it's, it's at an investment, I would say, that is very moderate and very reasonable, and anybody can pull it off. So money can't be an excuse. The only reason why you're hesitating is because you don't trust yourself to, you know, learn anything new. You don't trust yourself to, um, be curious and to have the breakthroughs, uh, you need and you want. So everyone, you know, make sure you're on the program before Friday because that's when we will stop giving the discount and the price will rise to €397, no exceptions. We have extended the bonuses, by the way, because we didn't announce it yesterday to our list and we only announced it on Wunder Divas and that wasn't fair to the thousands of women on our list who would also have loved to have the meditation and the cheat sheets. So, we have extended the bonuses. Anyone who joins the program should get the bonuses, will get the bonuses. We will probably announce it tomorrow on our list as well. So, no worries if you couldn't sign up yesterday. When you sign up today, you still get the bonuses. Now, what we're going to do is, with so many of you watching this live, We're gonna make this conversational, and I would love for you to ask me any questions that you want around this topic of the Hot and Cold Man, or even around the program and whether it's right for you or not. Although, even without knowing you, I can tell you this program is right for everyone at all stages. My private clients are signing up, my Inner Circle clients are signing up, new Divas are signing up. Anyone who's curious to learn more, anyone who believes not in becoming stagnant, anyone who's looking— anyone who's in a repetitive pattern and you want a breakthrough out of it, I am very confident the program is going to give you that breakthrough you need, and it's going to move you ahead so much more than you will be able to move ahead by yourself or by digging up free information on the internet. Okay, so hot and cold men. Who is a hot and cold man? A hot and cold man— and I'm not big on definitions, I just make up my own definitions as I go along— a hot and cold man is a man who's really nice to you on one day and then he isn't the next day. A hot and cold man is the kind of man you would have a great date with and then you wouldn't hear from him for 2 weeks. And then when you hear from him again, He's going to sweep you off your feet, and he'll have all these reasons of why he couldn't keep in touch, and that you guys should just meet. And then when you do meet him, you have the best time again. Right? And this cycle, when it carries on, it's the hot and cold cycle, because what happens is you don't really know where you stand with this person, because in your head, And in your dating experience, you have a great time with this man. You feel really good when you're around him. He makes you feel really special. He may even have some really nice words to say to you. He's flattering, he's charming, and maybe even brings you presents. But there is that feeling that you get inside, which is a little bit like walking on eggshells. Yeah. Why walking on eggshells? You're walking on eggshells because you feel so good around this person, and you almost start to feel like there is a connection and this is real. And, you know, um, this is like things are moving forward, and yet like that intensity always breaks with him disappearing or him going silent on you. By the way, who here is dating a hot and cold man? Who here is dating a hot and cold man? Who here is has been through a situation like this? You see, the whole point of Wonder Divas being what it is, is that it's it's private, it's exclusive, it's highly freaking moderated because you know honestly my my clients tell me they've been in other groups and it's so unmoderated and there's so much negativity and crap floating around on the groups. I'm really freaking proud of my moderators. Thank you for taking care of us. And I'm really freaking proud of the quality that we maintain here and that nothing— there's no gossip, you know. People don't every day post here, I can't afford it, I can't afford it. Like, honestly, if you have any money awareness, um, you shouldn't be talking about yourself this way. We completely respect that some people don't have the budget or money to do certain things in life, But you want to definitely be able to, you know, talk more positively, which is, I'm saving up for this, this is my desire, I'm working towards it, so that the universe just, you know, hears your, um, positive self, uh, identity versus the negative one that you are. You know, like, I just see it and it's like, it's really sad because I think people who call themselves broken poor always will remain broken poor because that's that's their consciousness, that's who they see themselves as. So it's so important we address ourselves with more kindness and we say nicer things about ourselves. And I think this community is very much, um, that high vibe, that positive, that moderated place where, you know, uh, yes, of course you have to do the work to get the results. We're not about, you know, free dolly coaching, but When you do do the work, you get tremendous success stories and testimonials, which is what you read here. Okay, so yeah, you see, like when I come on this community, I just talk, talk, talk. So I have to go back to the hot and cold man. So this is a safe space. If you're dating such a guy, let us know in the comments. If you've dated such a guy, let us know in the comments. So that's the hot and cold man. Okay, how does the hot and cold man Feel, make us feel. The hot and cold man makes us feel high peaks of emotion. So when we're with him, we're gonna feel like the queen of the world, like I'm the only girl in the world. Um, we're gonna, we're gonna make— we're gonna feel like, uh, we're his queen. We're gonna feel like, oh my God, so much chemistry. We're gonna feel so, um, maybe even in love. We're gonna feel like we found our one. He makes us feel so good. So that's one spectrum of emotions the hot and cold man is gonna make you feel. The second spectrum of emotions are unfortunately not so nice. So if that's the peak, then there's the crust, which is— Boo! Which is, where is he? So insecurity, doubt. Is he seeing someone else? Insecurity, doubt. How come he hasn't called for all this while? Is he like? Is this not true that you know what we have is real? So just a lot of insecurity, doubt, walking on eggshells, a feeling of not knowing where you stand with a particular man. This is the classic peak and crest experience, peak and trough experience. You know the peak of the wave and the crest of the wave. This is the experience with the hot and cold man. And you know what? It's so easy to just pay attention to the peaks. It's so funny because I honestly think, as an expert, all of this information is in my head, and it's so easy for me to see these patterns. But I also know from experience that women pay me thousands to work with me to Extract this information out of my head because when we're in that situation ourselves, we can't see it. And it is really powerful. You know, the chemistry is really powerful. So what will happen with such a woman is that she will only remember the peak experiences. Okay, she will only remember the peak experiences. She will go by all the things. That make her feel really good with this guy, and she will completely disregard how shitty she feels in the middle. Okay? Is this making sense? So we're gonna get some comments going now. Is this making sense? If it's making sense, say yes in the comments before I'm gonna proceed. I'm gonna make you do this little work, because I'm doing all this work sitting here, spending my precious time talking to So, you gotta do some work, girls. If this is resonating, say yes in the comments, and I'm gonna wait till a yes comes in. And meanwhile, everybody, everybody on the dance floor, everybody on the dance floor, everybody who has said yes for the Emotional Attraction Program and still not signed up, go sign up. Go sign up. Why? Because it's important that you keep the promises. that you make to yourself. It's important that when you say yes for something, you go and you have the integrity to actually abide by it. You have the integrity to, you know, take that action you said you would. Not for me. I don't get affected by your actions. These small programs is not how the company makes revenue, um, but you get affected by your own actions. So if you said yes and then you haven't signed up, um, You're not fooling anyone else but yourself. You're not backing out on anyone else but yourself. And this is a personal integrity, and we really want to maintain that. We really want to have it. Okay. I know there's so much noise in the online dating world out there. It can be really confusing, right? It can be confusing. And so I think it's so important to find your people and to stick with them. I know there are some mentors I trust, and I wouldn't— like, no matter how noisy the outside world is, no matter how attractive new mentors are, I like to stick with people I trust and who have helped me in the past. And that's me. So I don't know about you, but I know that as the online dating world becomes so full of coaches and everybody calling themselves a love coach. It takes a lot to find your right people and to trust in the brand and to, you know, put your trust and surrender in a particular brand. Sami, please do business coaching. I actually do do business coaching. We have an entire program for training love coaches. It's a nice investment of $6,000 €500. But if you've ever thought of becoming a love coach, um, and want to get trained in the way I do things and I see things, we, um, we have that option available. So if anybody is looking to go in that direction, all you have to do is reach out to us at support@samiwunder.com and we will give you the details. All right, so a lot of people are saying yes. I hear sometimes I come across as closed off in the beginning during my personal interaction with men and people in general. I feel the Emotional Attraction Program will help me to address this. Yes, absolutely, absolutely this will help. I don't think this is just your problem, Shilpa. I think this is many women's struggle. Yeah, many women appear like they have walls And when we appear like we have walls, then men can't cross the walls or break through the walls, and that doesn't allow a connection to happen. So yes, anybody who struggles with having walls or has been told that they have a poker face or has been told that, you know, I can't feel through you, I can't get through you, this is the program for you. And of course, you can do it later. If you're lazy, you can do it later, but you will just have to pay €200 more to access the program, which I think is not very smart if right now you can access it for just €197. So, hot and cold man, how he makes us feel. We spoke about the crest and the trough, the peak of the emotion and then the really shitty emotions. And I told you how women tend to focus more on the peak of the emotions, And that keeps driving them to get more of this man, versus understanding that he's not good for them, he's not healthy for them. So what do we do? How do we break out of this? This is not an overnight thing. I've worked with some clients who've had their crushes on men and who've been with men who are hot and cold. And it's not the easiest of experiences, I can tell you that. Yeah, and I respect that. I respect it's very easy for people to sit on the outside and tell you to let go of a guy, but when you feel that chemistry and you feel that flood of oxytocin in your head and you want someone, I think it's— I wouldn't say difficult, I would say it's a journey to letting go of such a man. So, I'm gonna— I could talk for hours. I don't think anyone would be surprised that I say that. But here's my top 3 tips for dealing with a hot and cold man. Really allow yourself to feel what you feel, not just on the dates with him, but in between the dates, how you feel. Right? So, as I said, there's the peak of the experience, which is really hot and exciting, and then there is the middle experience where he's not communicating, he's not into you. Maybe you even see that he's dating others. Whatever that way of— his way of hurting you is, or, you know, the cold part of it. The hot is the dating part, which is chemistry, fun, excitement, connection, and then the cold part is the lack of communication, Maybe seeing other women, etc., etc. So during the cold part, like, really start to feel how you feel, because what's happening is we're giving ourselves only permission to feel one part of the experience, which is the electric— electrifying experience, but we're not giving ourselves permission to fully feel, um, the bad part of the experience, which is, wow, this feels really crappy. Wow, this feels really shitty. Wow, I can't believe it that I'm such an educated woman. I make good money. I drive my own Mercedes convertible. And here I am sitting over a man crying, who treats me like crap, who treats me like shit. And you know, girls, I can't tell you the number of amazing women who put up with this kind of crap. And it's because we're not giving ourselves permission to really feel our bad feelings. feelings. We just obsess with the good stuff and we completely disconnect with the bad stuff. Once you start connecting with the bad stuff, then it's gonna start getting clearer to you that, wow, I maybe I feel more shit than I feel good with this guy, right? I feel more shit than I, than I feel good with this guy because those dates are gonna be few and far in between. and the time he's not communicating, and the time he's not spending with you, or the time he's telling you he's not available for a real relationship but he thinks you're amazing, um, you're gonna see that that time of the peak experience is very little, and the time you spend feeling shitty is much bigger. And so somewhere in your brain, if things are gonna start, you know, registering, they're gonna start changing. And I can tell you it's not overnight. I have seen this happen for my clients, I would say, over a process of 2 weeks or so. Yeah, so the guy is treating you like shit in between the dates, and on the dates he's treating you amazing. And then you realize the time you've spent feeling shit is way bigger than the time you felt— you spent feeling amazing. And so it's actually a really bad deal. It's a really bad deal to sign for. Shilpa is saying, yes, she's been there and she's got a sickness mask. Exactly! That's how these men should be avoided, like the plague. Number 2, getting over a hot and cold man. By the way, is this resonating? Is this resonating? If it's resonating, say yes. And if you've signed up for the Emotional Attraction Program, tell us why. Tell us why. We know more than 150 women have already signed up, so tell us why. And by the way, there were over 200 250 women from Wunder Divas itself who wanted this program. So it's really important that, as I said, not for me, not for us. I know I'm not doing a live program anyway again for the next 6 to 8 months, um, so it's not gonna make or break my life. But the truth is that it might make your life. It won't break your life for sure, but doing this thing that you said you would do, um, will really make your life. So give yourself this gift. You are worth it. Give yourself this permission. You are worth it. And if you said yes, it's time to have that personal integrity and to do what you said you would do for yourself. Yeah, so Victoria is saying, I was in a relationship with a hot and cold man for a year and a half. It was terrible, but I stayed. Never again. Thank you, Sami. And I know you're our star. Leap into To Love client with the gorgeous engagement ring. Victoria, so you, you've come such a long way, and I think you're such an inspiration. And when you're feeling better, I would love to, yeah, interview you for our, uh, ladies. You're phenomenal. I mean, I know the pace at which you worked and the pace at which you did the programs, and I think it took you a year and you turned your life experiences around, your patterns totally around. So it's pretty phenomenal, and you can be really, really proud of yourself. Okay, so hot and cold man number 2: Ask yourself, what kind of relationship am I looking for? So what happens with the woman who is in interaction with a hot and cold man is that she is focused on the man. She thinks that the man is the source of the joy in her life. She is laser-focused on getting that one man in her life, and she has completely lost touch with what kind of relationship she wants to be in. When it comes to hot and cold men, most women will focus on that one guy and be like, I want this one man and it has to work out with this one man. But we forget to ask ourselves the really important question, which is, what kind of relationship do I want? This is so important to ask ourselves. Do I want to live this miserably forever? Do I want to feel so bad and shitty forever? Is this the kind of relationship I want where I see a guy 2 times a month and then I have no clue what he's doing and where he's going and who he's meeting. So women who focus on the man will suffer much more than women who focus on the kind of relationship they want. And then it becomes really clear that no matter how great I think this guy is, he's not giving me the kind of relationship I want. Now, everyone Before I give you the last tip, who is ready to let me know they are excited about Friday coming? So I want to hear from you all. Are you excited about Friday? I can tell you myself, I have a cracky voice and I really wish I could sleep more. So I'm doing this one for you guys. Honestly, you know, a part of me just like wants to postpone everything. if I'm honest. I'm like, oh, this Friday? No, let me sleep this weekend, maybe next weekend. So I'm doing this for you guys, and I want to see your excitement. I want to feel your excitement. Give me a yes or give me an emoji if you are really excited. Friday can't come fast enough. Yay! Yeah, so remember, ladies, you know, you're not doing this for me, you're doing this for you. You're investing in yourself. You're investing in your future. You're investing in your happy relationship. And that's the attitude you want to have towards this work, right? Which is really, really important. Oh, Anna's been waiting for months for this. Yeah, and we'd really love you to spread the word, send the Share the link with a girlfriend who might need it. I mean, I'm not going to be teaching leaning back and feminine energy on this. I'm going to be very focused on just emotional attraction for this part. But I think the more the merrier. The more we can share this work with, the more lives we can positively impact without them having to pay thousands. It would be good for everyone. So spread the word, bring in your friends. Help people spread some good karma and let them know this is happening on Friday. And if you can't attend live, that's no problem. You will get all the recordings and all the bonuses. As I said, we are extending the bonuses because it wasn't fair. We just randomly announced this on Wonder Divas and didn't tell the list. So we're gonna let the list people know over the next two days, which is the last two days, and then Friday. Then it's Friday. Then it's time to to to. Get in the program. We're going to be accepting the group requests. I know all of you have been sending the group requests. I think Sandra said we're going to be accepting them on the 30th, so one day before we will accept them, and then we're good to go. We're good to go. So excited! Can't wait to share all the stories and examples. I am really, really looking forward to it. Okay, so the last. Tip on the hot and cold man. Can anyone guess? How do we let go of a hot and cold man? We how do we let go of a hot and cold man? You know it's really funny, and it sounds deceptively simple. A lot of my work sounds deceptively simple. It's not when you apply it. I can. I can promise you that. I can promise you it's not easy when you apply it. But you decide to let go. You decide to let go. You don't try to let go. You don't think about letting him go. You decide to let go. Now, a lot of— Drop him like a hot potato. Exactly that. You decide. There's a lot of power in decision. I think what we women struggle with is, we think that we have to get to some emotional place of readiness before we can let go of the guy, because if we let him go too quickly, we will fall apart. But that's simply not true. That's not how you do it in the Wunderworld. In the Wunderworld, we take the right action, and then we deal with the emotions that come up afterwards. Because if you're going to wait to feel completely strong, completely ready, completely in control of your experience, it's never gonna happen, which means that you could be wasting anything from 2 months to 6 months to a year, wasting your precious time, sometimes even your very important biologically childbearing years with the wrong kind of guy. So I don't think there is any place of emotional readiness and perfection that you want to be waiting for. You want to give up, and then you want to deal with the aftermath. And then, of course, having support, being in the Inner Circle, being in the Leap Into Love community, or being a part of, I don't know, my private clients. Yeah, I know that's not everyone's budget, but they're lucky women, my private clients. I have to say, they're lucky, lucky women. Yeah. Loves it. Awesome. So that's my little inspirational note for you all if you're struggling with seeing a hot and cold man. I know I've been talking a lot to the single women today and the last days, um, but the program is a separate program for women in relationships as well. I mean, single women, you're going to be doing yourself a disfavor. Honestly, I don't talk like this. I don't let anyone feel bad if they don't join my programs, um, but honestly, it's a disfavor to yourself if you don't join at this price point and on this topic. Because later on, it's going to grow in price, and then you will probably be angry at yourself why you didn't do it in time. Single women, this is an absolute no-brainer. I mean, the ones who have Leap Into Love are also joining. My private clients are joining. If you don't have my high-end programs, please do yourself a big favor and just join. Just join. You can come back and thank me later. Also, women who are doing Leap Into Love, you'd love an injection of energy. You'd love an injection of reminders. That's what coaching is. It's a journey, and it's about being in touch with another person who propels you and pushes you forward. It's not just about information consumption, as many women out there think. They're like, hey, is it new? Is it new? We're like, yeah, it's new, but But that's not the point, right? This is about a container, an energy, an experience. That's what we're going for. And if you surrender to it, if you surrender yourself to just receiving what is going to be given to you, you will be so surprised and you will love the experience that is being given to you. So please do yourselves a favor, sign up today. Don't wait for the last day. If you know this is Trust that gut, trust that instinct. I wouldn't wait. I really wouldn't wait. And if you're in a relationship, remember, we have an entire program just for you. I'm going to be spilling all the secrets to my happy marriage. And I'm going to be sharing with you how Chris and I deal with our little one, And babysitters and making time for each other and how we are able to keep that spark alive while being 2 very busy people and while being parents. I mean, it's really a tightrope. I'm sure everyone here who has kids will relate and will understand. So for the women in relationships, you're going to get an insider view into my marriage, my very happy— God bless, God bless my husband— my very happy marriage. Will we only be given access to Singles or also Relationships program after it ends, or would it have to be purchased separately? Great question, and no, you only get access to one program. There are some women who want access to both programs, and they've just bought the program twice. If you don't know whether you're single or you're in a relationship and you love to learn, then I would take the both. If you must choose one because of your budget, then that's up to you. And remember, when you sign up for the program, you also have a tremendous masterclass at a discounted rate from our Inner Circle, all up for grabs. So many women are also adding that as a, you know, as they go along, and then they already have something to listen to today. You know, they don't have to wait till Friday. For the program to start. They have started already, and they're loving it. So, just to note that that is also an option. It really depends on how fast you want to go and where you want to get to, right? Because I'm your guide, but you are in charge of your own life and the results you create. So, any more questions about emotional attraction, don't hesitate To reach out, send a message to my team at support@samiwunder.com. You can also leave your comments here. The lovely my operation star Sandra is coming in and checking the comments and you know helping you ladies out. You can pay by credit card. You can pay by PayPal. If you just can't use those two, we also have the option to do a direct bank transfer. So you just have to let Sandra know. Know, and she will give you the bank details. We wanna— we're doing this for you, and we want you to do this for yourself, okay? As I said, the company doesn't— it's a 7-figure company I run, and we don't, you know, make our revenues by selling these small programs. Um, it's something I do so that— because I understand not everybody can afford my thousands rate, in thousands, and there is a reason why I charge thousands. Firstly, because I'm really good at what you do, which— what I do, which is my results. And secondly, because I'm just one person. So, um, as loved as I feel, and as much as I would love to, you know, serve every single woman on the planet, I'm just one person. I'm a mother. There's only so much time in the day. There's only so much people I can take as private clients. And that's what my reflect— my rates reflect. And so I understand not everybody can afford that, and not everybody has a budget like that. And that is why I'm doing these small programs, so that hundreds of you can join it and make use of it. Now, if you still decide not to make use of it, that's your life, your choice. Nothing bad will happen. I never want people to feel like they must do something, um, in order to move forward. But here's my experience, and I can only speak from my Nothing bad will happen, but nothing great will happen either, and you'll probably find yourself hanging around on the Facebook group for a long time trying to figure things out yourself. And we're here to help you speed up that process. So I hope you make use of the opportunity. The link to the program is in the comments posted by my team. If you have any more questions, ask us, and I shall see you Friday. Not I shall. I shall see you Friday. I shall see you Friday. Friday is the day. Lots of love. Take care, everyone, and don't fall for those hot and cold men. And go get your diva bumps on the Emotional Attraction Program. It's good for you. Love you. Bye-bye.