Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Are you rewarding low effort behavior

18 Dec 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:51

In this YouTube monologue, Sami Wunder advises women to stop rewarding men who exhibit low‑effort, "breadcrumbing" behavior. She defines breadcrumbing as giving minimal attention—sporadic texts, booty‑call‑only meetings, or overly convenient dates—while extracting maximum benefit from the woman. Wunder recommends reframing dating as a transactional, less‑emotional activity, treating one’s energy and attention as a currency that should only be given to men who are serious and treat the woman well. By withdrawing attention when a man does not meet these standards, she argues women can avoid reinforcing low‑effort patterns and improve their dating outcomes.

Chapters

You need to stop rewarding low-effort behavior. Men breadcrumb women with attention all the time, which means they will give you the minimum possible attention and try to get the maximum possible benefits from you in return. So what you have to do is get really smart about dating. If you can start looking at dating as a less emotional activity and more as a transactional activity, it's actually going to help you buckle up and do better dating. Because let's face it, a man is not going to spend his time, energy, and resources on a woman that he isn't serious about. And so if a man is literally giving you breadcrumbs of attention, literally just dropping you 2 texts a week and not showing up, or only showing up for the booty call, or only planning like really convenient dates, stop rewarding that behavior with your energy and your attention. Energetically signal that if a man is not treating you well, he's not going to get your attention. He's not going to get your energy.