Become a HIGH VALUE WOMAN | Mindset and Affirmations

You are the prize in love, dating, and romantic relationships just because you are a woman. You don't need any other reason to justify this to anybody else, not to a man, not to yourself. You don't need a certain amount of money in your bank account. You don't need a certain number of degrees at university. You don't need to prove your worth in love. As a high-value woman, you are the prize just because you are. And the more you recognize this, and the more you give yourself permission to own your worth in love, the faster you will attract a high-value man, or your partner in your current relationship is going to be able to see your value and treat you like the queen and the high-value woman you are. This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder. I'm so excited you found me. If you're new to my channel, make sure to hit the subscribe button because I am the leading international expert helping smart, successful women find and keep amazing love in record time. Now, apart from knowing your worth and your value as a high-value woman in dating and romantic relationships, the next mantra I really want you to adopt and hold close to your heart is as follows: It is safe to receive as a woman from men. Now, check in with yourself. I don't know about you personally, but for me, growing up, the messages I received in my school, in society, from my parents, was that the good person, the good woman, is the giver. Women are rewarded for being over-givers. Women are rewarded for sacrificing their needs, sacrificing their pleasure, in order to be there for somebody and give to other people. However, if you are looking to embody being a high-value woman in dating, I'm going to invite you to receive from men. Receive gifts, receive compliments, receive their effort, and do that without feeling guilty or without feeling like you have to give something back. You know, so often we connect receiving with, I have to now give something back to this person. So I know within ELEVATE, which is my 6-month group coaching program where we help single women attract empowered masculine men, it can be so challenging for my clients sometimes to receive a man paying their bill on the date. Now, it might sound very basic to some of you, but for some others, it can feel really challenging because what it brings up within you is this guilt and this feeling of obligation that, now I have accepted this gift from this man, and now he's going to expect me to either give him back in the form of material things, or or he's going to expect me to sleep with him. So these are the kind of really exaggerated fears that we can tend to have when it comes to receiving from men in dating. But really, think about it— men bond through giving. Men bond through making an effort for you. And so, if you want to show up as a high-value woman in dating, or even if you are a married woman or a woman in a relationship, and you're looking to inspire your man to up more and be more of the masculine, empowered partner in the relationship, then receiving is a muscle you absolutely must build. And so I'm going to invite you to embrace this affirmation: It is safe to receive from men, and I don't owe anyone anything back. I am not obligated to sleep with a guy just because he invited me to dinner. I am not even obligated to go out with him again if I don't like it. So stop attaching all these meanings to Receiving from men, and just start receiving with joy and with pleasure, knowing that men bond when they give to you. Your partner bonds when he gives to you. Let your partner bring you a tea. Let your partner carry the heavy grocery bags. Let your partner be in the driving seat and drive the family for hours to the vacation, instead of you feeling obligated to jump in and step in and give. So, this is one of the biggest things that you can do to change the dynamic in your dating life, in your relationship, which is learning how to receive. Now, the next affirmation that I want you to embrace as a high-value woman, whether in dating or in your relationship, is as follows: I am emotionally intelligent, and I share my feelings With men wisely. Now, here's the thing: dating is going to trigger you. And if you're in a relationship with a man, whether you've just met him and become exclusive or you've been married for years, let's face it— intimate relationships, romantic relationships, they trigger us. They trigger our negative emotions. They trigger our negative feelings. No matter who you're with and how much of a perfect and dream guy he seems like, the truth is someday he is going to disappoint you. He is going to behave in a way or say something that is not going to feel good to you. Now, if you want to embody high-value behaviors in how you show up in these situations, then it's really important that you don't just dump your negative emotions on a guy. You don't just vent or say anything that is coming up for you to a guy, but you actually take the time to process your feelings and then speak up in a wise and rational kind of way. Now, of course, this does not mean that if something upsets you or makes you unhappy, you won't speak up for yourself. That's not what being a high-value woman is about. In fact, a high-value woman really knows how to communicate, Even her negative feelings, even her disappointment, in a way that men can hear. And so often, the woman who is reacting in dating, the woman who's just sort of exploding in her relationships, needs to develop the skill of being emotionally wiser and emotionally more intelligent so that she's not scaring men away. Because when we don't know how to share our feelings with men, we can come across as dramatic, we can come across as out of control, we can come across as explosive, and it creates this kind of unsafe experience for men, which actually makes a man look at you as a woman who is not very deserving of the kind of effort and attention that he would ideally like to give a woman who has that kind of emotional control and emotional intelligence. Now, the good news is that inside ELEVATE, we do teach our clients emotional intelligence. We teach you how to recognize your feelings, how to embrace your feelings, how to communicate your feelings to men in a way they can actually hear. Because what's the point of just talking in ways that either disrupt your relationship with a guy or causes disconnection? The goal of communication is to actually get what you want. And so, The high-value woman embraces the skill of emotional intelligence and shares her feelings wisely, knowing that the way she shares her feelings and the way she chooses her words actually has a deep and drastic impact on the kind of connection she's going to be sharing with the guy. Now, if you're looking to show up as a high-value woman, the next affirmation that I would love for you to embrace is as follows: I say no easily, and I can draw my boundaries with ease. Now, this is a chronic challenge for women because, as I've said already in this video, as a woman, you're probably trained to be over-empathetic towards others, especially towards men. You're always being that person who's understanding everybody else's problems. You have a hard time being in situations of conflict. You don't want to cause drama. You don't want to hurt anybody. But often what that looks like is you end up sacrificing your own needs, and you end up stifling your own voice, and you end up feeling bad because you end up in situations that don't feel good to you. And you wonder, how did I get here? Why did I get here? So I literally had a client in ELEVATE who shared with us, and God bless her, she was so ashamed of it. And we said, don't worry, this is just a lesson. But she actually ended up sleeping with a guy because she felt like she owed it to him. And he was being a little pushy and trying to convince her just after date 3 and ended up in her home. And it was so interesting for us to observe that she felt this pressure and this obligation to just say yes, even though deep in her body, she did not want to sleep with the guy. And so, if you're looking to show up as high value in dating, in your relationships, it is absolutely imperative that you take control of your own welfare, you look after yourself, you self-advocate. And the way to do that is by learning to say no and drawing your boundaries. And it's not just true for women in dating. Of course, you want to draw boundaries with men that you barely know and that you've just had 3 or 4 dates with. You don't want to just jump into something that you don't feel comfortable with, but also in relationships. I keep saying this. Women ask me all the time, Sami, you've been married to Chris for over 10 years. You're a mom of 2 beautiful boys. How do you continue to keep your man's attraction alive? Why is Chris all over you? And why is he loyal and devoted and so cherishes you? Honestly, I think one of the big reasons is because I draw my boundaries and I'm never afraid to say no. I Literally do not care if somebody thinks that I'm a bad person just because I am refusing to sacrifice my sleep or sacrifice my needs for somebody else. Maybe listening to this triggers you. Maybe listening to this makes you even judge me. But I think I'm going to invite you to revisit that judgment because I don't think anyone benefits If, as a woman, you are tired, you're burnt out, you're exhausted, you're angry with the world, you are running on half battery, and your cup is not overflowing, and you're doing all of this because you think it makes you a good person. In the Sami Wunder World, in my ELEVATE program, we talk about the importance of boundaries, not just from the place of showing up as a high-value woman that men will cherish far more when you are able to draw your boundaries versus when you are just the yes girl and nice girl and sacrificing yourself and your needs. But also because when you don't draw your boundaries, you are starting to show up as an unhappier version of yourself. You start to feel resentful of your partner or your husband. You start to feel resentful of the men you are dating, simply because you think they're taking advantage of you or they are using you. And that's a horrible feeling to have. And I think the most important thing to do is to remember that nobody else, As adults, nobody else is responsible for communicating our welfare. We are responsible for our welfare. Saying no, drawing your boundaries, actually helps you fill your cup, look after your energy, look after your needs, so that you can show up at your best and fullest potential. Then anything you do for anyone else comes from a place of love and joy versus this place of, oh my God, I have to do this because if I don't do it, they're going to think— They're going to be upset. I'm a bad person. I think, as a high-value woman, you really want to embrace the power of saying no and drawing boundaries, even if that means sometimes some people will not like you. Some men will not like you. You see, when we say show up as a high-value woman, we don't mean that every man you date is going to like you for it, because let's face it, there are some men who like to control women. There are some men who don't like it when a woman puts her needs needs first. However, in the world of healthy, empowered, masculine men who want to please you, who want to see you smile, you will always see that those men actually really appreciate you and really honor you much more when you're able to draw your boundaries and say no with ease. Now, last but not the least, the final affirmation for being a high-value woman that I want you to embrace with all your heart I get to have it all. I get to have an amazing career, and I get to have amazing love. My brains and my success are never an impediment to my love life. The right man for me loves to see me shine, loves to see me live out my passion, my gifts in the world. The right man for me can handle my opinions. The right man for me will never be intimidated by the money I make or the fame I have. I get to have it all as a woman. However, this does not mean you have to do it all. As a high-value woman, you get to receive support, you get to receive coaching, you get to receive mentorship, you get to receive assistance in your home, assistance with your kids, assistance with any aspect of your life where you feel like you're burdened by trying to do it all by yourself. So in my case, for example, I have a nanny, I have a a house assistant who cooks healthy meals for my family 4 times a week. She cleans the house, she washes the clothes. And the reason why I'm being so vulnerable and sharing this with you is because I think it's important to not give women the impression that Sami has it all and Sami is this superwoman who's doing it all by herself. That's not true. Yes, I have it all. Yes, I have an amazing career as a CEO of a multi-seven-figure company, helping women all over the world Have and keep amazing love, and being a mom, and being a wife. However, I am not doing it alone. I have support. I have a team that is holding this energy together. And so, as a high-value woman, I think one of the best things you can do is to embrace the power of support and to remind yourself that, yes, you get to have it all, but you don't have to do it all. do it all by yourself. Now, if this was helpful, make sure to like the video, leave me a comment, subscribe to my channel. And if you'd like my support in helping you attract an amazing, empowered, masculine man, or heal and elevate the connection in your partnership or marriage, then I would love to invite you to sign up for the waitlist for ELEVATE, which is my 6-month live group coaching program, where you get direct access to me and my team of brilliantly trained coaches. So if you're ready for the big uplevel and jump in your love life, make sure you get on the waitlist for ELEVATE, and when the doors open, we will be in touch with you over email. Thank you so much for joining, and here's to being a high-value woman!