In this monologue, Sami Wunder explains that control is an unhealthy energy in relationships and stresses that both partners should reject controlling behavior. She illustrates the point with a client who insists on physical touch as her love language while her partner prefers acts of service, leading to tension when she demands her way. Sami warns women not to accept men dictating when they should return home, what they should wear, or how they should present themselves, emphasizing that such control has no limits and will manifest in other areas. She also notes that empowered men typically do not respond well to being controlled, reinforcing the need for mutual respect and clear boundaries.
Chapters
control is unhealthy energy. People who understand healthy relationships understand that they have no right to control somebody else, and they should also not be accepting control from a man. So it goes both ways. I've had clients where they tend to want to control because they're very strong, very masculine in their energy, and they want it their way. You know, my love language is... Physical acts of touch. So if you don't touch me while we're out, you don't love me. And the poor guy's like, I'm trying, but that's not my love language. My love language is acts of service. So sometimes I will still forget that your love language is physical touch. So can you be kind about it? But she can't be kind about it because she needs to have it her way. So this is causing, for one of my ELEVATE clients, a lot of disturbance and tension in her relationship right now. So this is an example of controlling, wanting things our way. And most healthy, empowered Men do not respond well to control. But I do want to emphasize that neither should a man be controlling you. So a man trying to tell you when it is the right time for you to get back home, what you should wear, and why are your shoulders open, and why is something not covering your shoulders— oh my God, Divas, please do not accept this. Also because it has no limits, right? Sometimes we think, oh, if I just accept what he's annoyed about with my shoulderless dress, if I cover that, then he's not going to be angry. But he is going to be angry about something else because it's about the principle. He likes to control.
