Day 4: 7 Days To Healthy & Happy Relationships
In this live session of the "7 Days To Healthy & Happy Relationships" marathon, Sami Wunder focuses on Day 4’s theme: letting go of the toxic belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you when relationship challenges arise. She explains how this belief makes women internalize blame for issues like ghosting, lack of intimacy, or partner criticism, turning normal relationship setbacks into personal failures. Sami reframes these setbacks as skill gaps rather than personal defects, using analogies such as learning to drive or tango to illustrate that love, like any other competency, can be taught and practiced. She introduces the "Love Success Framework," a set of learnable skills (e.g., managing emotional investment, effective communication, intimacy confidence) that shift the experience from personal deficiency to actionable growth. Throughout the talk she engages the audience with prompts to respond in the chat, validates their experiences, and emphasizes that transformation requires embodying the new perspective, not just hearing it. The session culminates in a persuasive invitation to join her paid program, Elevate, describing it as a "school of love" that provides a blueprint, community support, moderated Facebook group, live coaching calls, and a structured curriculum to move women from feeling stuck to thriving in love. Contact details, urgency cues (limited time, price increase), and reassurance about fear and doubt are provided, ending with a reaffirmation that there is nothing wrong with the listener—only skills to learn.
Chapters
Yay! Hey, divas! Welcome to day 4 of the Happy Healthy Relationships Marathon, and this is day number 4, and today we are releasing the belief that something is wrong with you. Now, this is really one of the most toxic beliefs that you can have, whether you are single or in a relationship. and you're looking to feel better, happier, more confident in your love life. And this is because whenever we think that something is wrong with us, we approach the inner work from a place of feeling like we are broken and there is something fundamentally wrong with us or about us. So This is the belief that we want to recognize and release. As we spoke about on day one, so often we may not even be aware that we think this way. We may not even be aware that this is our subconscious thought process. Whenever something goes wrong in your love life, whenever— if you're single You know, whenever a man ghosts on you, whenever a man doesn't plan a date in advance, if your default thought process is that something's wrong with you, then whenever these things will happen, which they will because that's what dating is about, your default thought process will be Okay, what did I do wrong, and how do I fix myself so that men can treat me better? Or how do I fix myself so that men stop ghosting on me? Now, who can resonate with this? If this if this resonates, say yes in the comments. And of course, welcome. I just went right into the topic, and just want to take a moment and welcome you all. Everybody who's joining, say hi in the comments. Let me know where you're joining from. If you have already signed up. For Elevate, then let's do a hooray in the chat box. If you are still considering signing up, then what are you waiting for? A red carpet invitation already exists for you, my love. You deserve this. Okay, so as you ladies are saying it resonates, and I completely hear you and understand and empathize And let's also just give you an example about women in relationships. You know, when you have the thought process that something's wrong with you, or something's broken in you, or something's wounded inside of you, whenever you have an argument with your partner and, you know, he sort of snaps at you, or, you know, he says you're really XYZ, um, You go back to thinking, you know, what is wrong with me? Why can't I get this right? What is wrong with me? Why does he talk to me so badly? Am I not worthy of his love? You know, what am I doing wrong? Or maybe he is not, you know, initiating physical intimacy. Maybe, you know, the heat in the bedroom is going down. And again, if you think that something's wrong with you or something's broken about you, you're again going to go back to the same default thought process, which is, you know, what is missing inside of me? And what is like, why can't I get this thing right? Like, why can't I get my relationships right? And like, what is broken in me? And what is wrong with me? And what do I need to fix within me in order to have the love I want? So who can resonate with this? If you resonate, say yes in the chat box. You can also give me a 1 if that's easier. Just give me a quick 1 whether you're joining me on YouTube, on Facebook, Everywhere else where I'm live on LinkedIn. So just say one in the chat box if this resonates. So basically, divas, what we're seeing here is that there is a core wound that is present where every time something goes wrong in our love life, whether we're dating or in a relationship, We bring back the blame to us, and we feel feel bad about ourselves, and we ask ourselves a very painful and honestly the wrong question, which is you know what is wrong with me? How do I fix this? What is wrong with me? How do I stop men from ghosting on me? What is wrong with me? How can I make a man like me? What is wrong with me? How can I make my husband you know want me more or desire me more? So if you recognize this in yourself, here's a life-changing perspective for you. Now, of course, you can go away from this live stream and nothing will change for you because you don't implement this perspective. But for those of you who understand that transformation and change happens not because you've heard something, but because you're actually embodying it and implementing it, This is going to be life-changing for you. You know, I talk about this also on my website and my life story. There is literally nothing wrong with you if you are struggling in your love life. It's truly not personal to you. It's all about skills, and it's all about learning the right skills. So it's a bit like if you were never taught driving, and then I made you sit in a car, and then I said, drive now, drive. And then when you rammed into a truck, or, you know, your car skidded, or you got a flat tire, or you banged into a wall, would you say that something's wrong with me? I really hate myself. I really am broken. I can't get this driving thing right. No, you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that to yourself. It wouldn't feel so personal. You would simply say to me, Sammy, sorry, but I've never been to driving school and nobody taught me how to drive. So we forgive ourselves if we have never been taught driving. We don't say to ourselves we're broken. Or we can't, like we need something to be fixed when things go wrong on the road, right? Or maybe if you've never learned the skill of tan, you know, tango dancing, and then suddenly I say, "Come on, come on, Stephanie, and come on, Audrey, let's do tango dancing." If you're not able to dance tango, will you judge yourself and will you blame yourself? For not being able to dance tango. No, you won't. You'll simply say, "I'm sorry, I never learned this dance. I never went to a dancing school, and possibly if I learn these skills of dancing in a dancing school, I should be able to do this." So we understand that in all other aspects of our life. We never say, "Oh, you don't know how to do maths. You're getting your sums wrong." We just say, "You know what? I wasn't taught this. I never went to school for this. I never went to the dance school to learn this dance. Never went to the swim classes to learn swimming. Never went to horse riding classes to learn horse riding." But in your love life, when you go wrong and you make mistakes. Do you say to yourself, I lack the skills? No, you don't. You say to yourself, something is wrong with me. And this is where you are making this whole love thing far more personal and far more heavy and far more burdensome than it's meant to be or than it's supposed to be. It's really not personal. It's all about skills. And if you never learned these skills, if nobody ever taught you what healthy love looks like, if nobody ever taught you what healthy masculine looks like, if nobody ever taught you what healthy feminine looks like, if this was not role modeled to you by your primary caregivers, if you have no role models of healthy love and happy thriving love in your life, in your family, Then why are you placing this undue burden on yourself to get it right without ever having support, without ever learning the skills? And really, once women get it that it's all about skills—the skills of creating healthy love, the skills of having healthy love—the whole equation feels so less personal. And then you start to understand that if you're managing your level of emotional investment, which is a skill you can learn, then when a man ghosts, it feels bad for like an hour and then you move on. Why? Because you've learned the skill of not over-investing in yourself— in, in a man. You've learned the skill of not over-investing in a man. Or when your husband or your partner goes angry on you when you, when you speak a certain way, instead of saying to yourself, something's wrong with me, or I'm not attractive enough, or I'm not good enough, you just go, oh, this is what Sami means when she says communication is a skill that we must learn. And so if I can just learn how to speak in a way that my partner can hear me, this problem will be solved. I don't have to make it about myself. I don't have to make it so personal. I definitely don't have to say mean things to myself and tell myself that something's wrong with me or broken. Now, this was game-changing for me, and that's why it's on my website, it's on my story, because I understood once and for all that anything that was happening in my love life, whether it was dating or even till today in my marriage or relationship, there are skills I can learn to do better at whatever my pain is, at whatever my challenge is. There are skills I can learn to do better. And whatever happens in dating or in your relationships is literally not personal. And so just knowing that this is about having skills and any woman can cultivate this skill when she decides to learn is the freedom factor. And this is why Elevate is so powerful, because Elevate shows you that nothing's wrong with you. It's just about the skills. So if you're ready to learn the skills of what it takes to to have healthy love, to sustain healthy love, to create healthy love, to attract healthy love, then these are the final three days. Elevate is open. Then the doors will close. Ta-da! And the price will rise. Ta-da! And this massive, amazing opportunity that stares you in the face right now. Where you literally have a chance to completely give your love life a makeover by learning the skills that work. Remember, it's about skills, and any woman can learn it. Just like if you put me in a cooking class, no matter how much I suck at cooking, I could learn how to cook well. Because if I had a good teacher and they had figured out their recipes and their hacks and their systems, then anybody can learn. Right? That's what Elevate is. It is the school of love. It's the school of healthy love. We give you the blueprint for what healthy love looks like, and every woman stepping into this container can have this blueprint and can implement this blueprint. And if you pay close attention and you're a good student, there is everything you need inside that container to go from single to adored, single to engaged, single to married. And from feeling like you are in a meh and bear marriage or relationship to feeling absolutely happy, connected, and blissful in your relationship. And how do we do that? We do that through the Love Success Framework, which gives you these skills that I'm talking about, where things start to feel less personal, where no matter what anyone says or does, what your partner says or does, or the men you're dating say or do, you know, it's not It doesn't feel personal anymore because you know nothing's wrong with you. You're amazing. You're the prize. Woohoo! And this is just about skills. You know, sometimes when crap happens in life and in relationships and dating, it's just about asking yourself, you know, what is the skill I need to learn here? Is it the skill of not overinvesting in men? Is it the skill of being able to release my intimacy fears? Is it the skill of being able to lean back, relax, and receive from men versus constantly work so hard for love? Like If I'm experiencing a pain or a problem, what is the skill that I need to learn and how can I upskill myself? So on that note, you are warmly invited to join Elevate. Um, 3 days to go, so we're down to the wire here. If you've been feeling called, sitting on the fence, um, I just want to remind you, you are a very wise woman and you have deep amounts of intuition. And if you are feeling pulled towards this container, then you can trust in that. And my invitation would be to release the voices of fear and doubt that are holding you back. In fact, um, I would be concerned if you told me you were not afraid at all or you were not nervous at all. Um, any investment in yourself that is vulnerable, like Elevate, you know, which is a meaningful investment in yourself, It always feels a little scary. It always makes you a little nervous, and that's part of the process. But what's important is to stay connected with your desire and to know that your desire is guiding you in the right direction. So if you know for sure that we're not the you know we're not the coaches for you, my my team and I are not for you. That's totally okay. We respect that. May you find a container. It'll take you a long time, but may you find a container where you flourish in your love life, which is as established and as proven and as safe as Elevate. But if you are having that deep understanding that, you know, Elevate is the right place for you, and it is the place where you need to— you can actually commit to your growth, and you can actually, you know, joyfully learn the skills to happy, healthy love, then my biggest invitation is to not let the voice of fear and doubt and skepticism hold you back anymore. My clients tell us that just the act of investing itself brings the transformation because you feel in your body the fear, and then you not choose not to make a choice from fear, but you choose to make a choice from love for yourself and for that vision and that desire that you have. So that is going to be my invitation. If you have any questions, you can email us at support@samiwunder.com. You can find me on Instagram, send me a direct message. You can, you know, message me on Facebook. Or you can book a call with us, and my team will drop the links in the comments, um, in on the social media. Um, and if you know that Elevate is for you and you're ready, then come on this amazing life-changing journey with us. Um, our clients work with us for years. It tells you the quality of the container you will be entering. Um, I am very strict about having a highly moderated Facebook community. There is zero judgment in that container. There there is only love, only acceptance, and only celebration of women that happens there. And it just makes your journey go so much faster when it comes to having results. And it just is so much more nourishing to not struggle alone, but to have a community of amazing women surrounding you who are all on the same journey as you and are your cheerleaders. So it's when we're around you It's impossible to burn out with dating. It's impossible to get jaded with dating because we've got your back and we help you play the game and we help you succeed like you have seen with hundreds of our success stories. So if Elevate is calling you, 3 days to go. I wouldn't wait anymore because I think if you sign up now, you will have a little better preparation for Saturday when the first call happens and you can already do your questionnaire. You can do the bonuses. You can you know download the schedule for the live coaching. Calls. So here's my warm invitation: if it's calling you, trust yourself. That voice within is guiding you to your destiny, as our success stories would tell you. Thank you for joining me. Lots of love. There's nothing wrong with you. It's all about learning the right skills, and any woman can learn those, including you. Bye!
