Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Different Phases Of Dating Require Different Levels Of Intimacy

4 Apr 2023 · 2 min

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2:26

In this monologue, Sami Wunder explains that dating progresses through distinct phases, each requiring different levels of intimacy and appropriate date activities. She warns against low‑effort home dates (Netflix and takeout) in the early stage (first or second date) because they often signal a focus on sex rather than connection, and advises women to suggest public outings instead. She then contrasts this with the middle phase (approximately 6 weeks to 2 months, after 6‑7 dates) where the same home‑based, relaxed setting (popcorn, Netflix, wine) is appropriate and signals growing intimacy, allowing partners to see each other's living spaces. The core point is that identical date proposals have different meanings depending on the dating phase, so generic advice is unreliable. Sami urges women to seek personalized guidance throughout the dating journey, tailoring decisions to the current intimacy cycle. She ends with a friendly call‑to‑action for viewers to leave an emoji.

Chapters

All right, so one thing that is really important to understand is that different phases of dating require different tools and levels of intimacy. So, for example, if you just started seeing a man, and for a first date or a second date, he invites you to come hang out on his couch and watch Netflix together and order a takeaway, it's probably a really low-effort date, and he's trying to get into your pants, and You are best skipping these kind of dates in the early dating phase, or, you know, simply saying that, you know, I'd like to do something outside in public and see what he says. However, this advice is not going to stand, for example, in the middle dating phase, or, you know, when you've been seeing each other for over 6, 7 dates, you've been meeting each other frequently, maybe you're around the 6 weeks to 2 months mark, and let's say the guy invites you for a chill evening at home to enjoy some popcorn, Netflix, and some wine. Now, in this case, is this a low-effort date? No, because the context is different. Now you are in a different intimacy cycle with the guy, different phase of intimacy with the man, and your dating is now building up momentum. The intimacy is now increasing, and you want this to happen. You want to move from meeting each other only in public places, to actually being able to see how both of you live and, you know, visiting each other's homes, etc., etc. So this is going in the right direction. Now, this is so amazing because if you observe, it's the same action and the same offer that a man is giving to a woman, but based on where she is with him in the dating phase, the recommendation is going to be different. So this is why don't listen to generic Dating advice. And make sure, ladies, you have somebody who is guiding you through the entire process, because the advice is different for different phases of the dating process. All right, I hope this was helpful. If it was, leave me an emoji below. Lots of love.