Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Do NOT pedestal and pursue a man

1 Apr 2024 · 1 min

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In this segment, Sami Wunder explains that when a woman places a man who meets all her criteria on a pedestal, she subconsciously views him as superior and unattainable. This dynamic causes the man to feel less motivated to 'win' her, as he perceives her as already elevated above him. Consequently, a healthy masculine mindset—where a man wants to feel he has earned his partner—gets disrupted. Wunder argues that pedestaling a man while simultaneously pursuing him is counterproductive because it prevents the man from feeling the sense of achievement that fuels attraction and commitment.

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A man who is meeting all your checklist and checkboxes, you subconsciously tend to pedestal him, rate him as being above you, that he offers things you can't have without him. The only thing the man can do when he stands on the pedestal is look down upon you. Pedestaling a man and then pursuing him is never going to work, because any healthy masculine man wants to feel like he won his wife. He worked hard for the best lottery of his life. But if you are putting him up on the pedestal, he doesn't feel that way about you. He feels like he could have better than you.