Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Do you have intimacy fears?

4 Aug 2024 · 1 min

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In this self‑help monologue, Sami Wunder explains that many people find dating difficult because they harbor intimacy fears. He describes intimacy fears as a mismatch between the intellectual desire for a partner and an unconscious habit of finding fault in every potential match. According to Sami, harsh self‑judgment, unkindness toward oneself, and an expectation of perfection—both in oneself and in men—lead to projecting unrealistic standards onto partners. This projection keeps love at a distance, causing individuals to push potential partners away and feel overwhelmed, hurt, and stuck in a cycle of dating frustration.

Chapters

The reason dating feels hard for you and why you still may be suffering and hurting and feeling overwhelmed is because you find no man is good enough for you. It could be a signal that you have intimacy fears. Intimacy fears are when we intellectually say we want to attract somebody, but we always keep finding fault in every man we meet because we are afraid of true intimacy, of true love. You judge yourself really harshly. You're unkind to yourself and expect perfection from yourself. You project that energy on men. You expect perfection in men. Expect them to do everything correctly. Expect them to never make a mistake. You're keeping love away and pushing men away because you still have intimacy fears.