In this video, certified dating coach Sami Wunder responds to a client, Diana, who is frustrated with a man who engages in frequent texting and phone calls but never arranges an in‑person date. Sami diagnoses the man's behavior as "breadcrumbing"—providing sporadic attention without commitment—and explains that the man is not serious about a relationship. She then examines Diana's internal state, highlighting two problematic patterns: over‑investing emotional energy into a man who gives little in return, and clinging to hope that his next message will lead to a real‑life meeting. Sami offers two core lessons: (1) a relationship that exists only online is a virtual relationship and cannot replace real‑world connection; therefore, women should push for face‑to‑face dates early. (2) women should avoid over‑investing in a single man by practicing "rotational dating," meeting multiple men simultaneously to keep focus and emotional energy balanced. She advises Diana to ignore the on‑and‑off man, reclaim her confidence, and shift her attention to new dates. The video concludes with a call to like, comment, and explore Sami's "Attract Your Soulmate" program.
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Have you ever been in a situation where you started talking with a man you like, and there were a lot of text exchanges and phone calls and great conversations, and you really started to feel that something was developing there, but to your frustration, he never takes anything forward? He never really asks you for a real date, a real-life date, and to see you in real life. Being in this kind of a situation can feel really frustrating and really confusing, and I understand, because I have been there myself. So if you are a woman who is in a similar situation right now with a man, where there's a lot of conversation and texts, and then he disappears, and then he comes back, and then he really never really asks you out for a date, then you really do want to watch this video today, where I am going to be decoding for you exactly what's going on in his mind, and how you can handle this situation in a diva and empowered way. Welcome to this video! My name is Sami Wunder. As you hopefully know by now, I am a certified dating and relationship coach for the strong, successful, and smart woman who doesn't want just an amazing career, but also an amazing relationship. The way I want to deal with this situation today is by actually taking up a question that I received from my private client, Diana, from Chicago. Let's see what Diana Hi Sami, I feel really heartbroken right now by this man that I had been talking to for the last few months. We were intensely texting and having long night phone calls, and then the texts and the calls started to reduce drastically, and I got scared. He kept making promises that we would meet soon, but it still hasn't materialized. I did ask him if something was wrong, but he said he's just been busy and he really loves me. I am going crazy right now, to tell you the truth, because he has become really inconsistent now with the last weeks and disappearing for days, and then he seems to return as if nothing has changed. Can you please help me? I am so confused. I really hear your pain, and I am sure the women watching this video, whether on replay or live, will also relate with such pain. I think we've all been through this situation in life where we've started talking with a man, we like him, there is, you know, great connection, and yet he is not taking the step forward. He's not meeting you in real life. So the way I want to deal with this today is by answering you in 2 parts, in order to give you clarity about what's really going on. So I want to show you What's happening with him, number one, and number two, I want to show you what's happening inside of you, so that you really understand the dynamic that's going on here. When it comes to understanding what's going on with him, it might hurt you for now to listen to what I'm going to say, but it's good for you, believe me. What's going on with him right now is that he is not serious about this at all. He is not serious about pursuing you. He's not serious about taking this forward. And let's not judge him. He might have his reasons, but he is definitely not ready to give you the kind of relationship and the kind of commitment you desire and you want right now. In relationship terminology, in professional terminology, we call this breadcrumbing. He is breadcrumbing you, which means that he is giving you scraps of attention here and there, texting you, yes, calling you, yes, Saying that, yes, he'll meet you, but it's all words. There's no action to back it up, and this tells me very clearly that this man is not serious. Yeah. Now that we know this, let's look at what's going on within you. So that's going on within him. He's not serious. He's basically treating this as a time pass, you know, whenever he gets bored and he feels like he needs a text buddy to connect with, a beautiful girl to connect with. He sends you those random texts and makes those random calls, but he's definitely not serious. Now, for you, what's going on within you is 2 things again. Firstly, my dear Diana, you are clearly over-invested in this man. What do I mean by over-invested? Over-invested means that the amount of thought, energy, and emotion that you're giving him is way more in proportion to what he is giving to you. you right now. So you probably think you are in a real relationship. You probably believe all his words, and I really understand. I really understand how real this is for you and how your feelings of pain and confusion, it's all really real for you right now. But you are clearly over-invested in him. You are making this up bigger in your head than it is for him right now. And of course, this damages your vibration. This doesn't make you feel confident with him. This starts to make you feel insecure, and this is all happening because you're over-invested in him. You are more invested in this particular situation or relationship, so to speak. It's not really a relationship, and I'll just come to that in a moment, but you are way more invested in him than he is in you. The second thing that is happening for you, Diana, my dear, is that you are still hanging on to hope. Every time he texts you or every time he calls you, you feel like, this is going to be the time when something is going to happen. This is going to be the time when things are going to move forward. This is going to be the time when he's actually going to ask me out. So you're hanging on to that hope emotionally, so to speak, and of course, I really understand you want things to move forward, but hanging on to this hope and being over-invested in this man is actually blinding you from seeing the reality. And the reality is this: there's only words, and that too, sporadic ones, words that are starting to get scarce, calls that are starting to get scarce, texts that are starting to get scarce, and there is no action to back it up. Yeah. So it's because you are invested, over-invested, and you are hanging on emotionally to hope. You are not being able to let go of this guy, and you're not being able to see him for what he truly is. And he may not be a bad guy. We are not into judging men here at all. We're just about understanding that, you know, a man shows his level of seriousness and his level of interest through his actions, and not just through his words. So what are the 2 thumb rules or lessons I want you to learn from this situation? I really want you to understand, Diana, that your pain right now, which is real and I totally get it, is a gift. It's a gift, and it's trying to teach you a lesson. So really look at the lesson you can learn from this situation. Here are the 2 top lessons or thumb rules I want to give to you as your dating and relationship coach. The first one is to understand that a relationship does not get real online. A relationship does not get real online. Texting someone, calling someone, Skyping with someone, doing Messenger with someone is not equivalent to having a real relationship. A real relationship only and only and only develops when we meet in person, when we have consistent, real-life dates with a man. And if you're gonna break this rule, if you're gonna let yourself feel a lot of feelings and emotions for those virtual conversations, you're going to get into what I call a virtual relationship. That relationship, that emotional energy, only exists in the virtual space, and if at all you ever meet this person in real life, you might experience a completely different energy, which is, again, going to take you by surprise and not the healthiest way to date men and to attract a real Soulmate in your life. So don't fall into the trap of these virtual relationships. What you want to make sure is that once you have started texting with a man and you're loving the conversations, you want to make sure you move that to real life and you say, okay, this is feeling great, but I'm a face-to-face person and I'd like to see you. So let me know when that's happening and good luck. Basically, you want to draw your distance And move away from too much texting, too much calling, and you really want to start meeting men in real life. Chuck the virtual relationships, make sure you are doing real-life dates so that you can build a real-life relationship, because I imagine that is your goal— to meet a real guy in real life, get married, get engaged, all of that stuff happening in real life. The second lesson and thumb rule here is to never ever invest so much of your emotional energy into one man, and especially when that one man is not stepping up for you in the way you'd like him to step up. You can address this, this over-investment and over-focus in one man, by rotational dating. This is a powerful, controversial, but super impactful and super powerful concept that I teach, where I tell a woman that you want to date more than one man at the same time. You don't want to You don't want to sleep with more than one man at the same time. You just want to date and meet and go on coffee dates and connection dates with more than one man at the same time, because this will prevent you from over-focusing and over-investing in any one man. So my dear Diana, start rotational dating. Give a butt on your proverbial cute butt, give a kick on your proverbial cute butt, and really get on rotational dating. Talk to more men, be open to receiving dates from more men. Shift your focus from this man. Take back all the energy and all the focus you have been giving to him, and please be really, really, really kind to yourself, because right now, the pain you are feeling is very real. It's real-life pain, but that relationship, it only exists virtually. It only exists in cyberspace. It does not exist in real life. It's only in our heads. Yeah. So for this man, If he keeps coming back, I would ignore him. Remember the hope I talked about, that you keep replying and you keep talking to him because you hope something will happen? Well, if a man really wants you, he will move mountains to be with you. He knows what to do, he knows where to find you, and he will ask you out on a real date. Until then, ignore him, get your rotational dating on track, bring your Diva back, and really understand that Relationships exist in real life, and virtual relationships is not the healthy way to go, because they can cause you real pain while not really existing in the real world. Now, if this video was helpful, I would love to invite you to take 2 little actions today. The first action is, please like this video and please comment and let me know if this was helpful. I know that when we're in situations like these, Our emotions can cloud our judgment so much, and we can't see clearly. I know this because I've been in similar situations myself. If you're with this on-and-off man in your life right now, and this situation has helped— this video has helped you with your situation, please let me know. Like and comment. The second action I'd like you to take is go and check out my Attract Your Soulmate program. It's my audio program, advanced inner work program, that I recommend to marriage-oriented women who are smart, successful, motivated, and would like to attract their soulmate in this year, and they are super serious about it. So go check that out, and I thank you for watching this, and I will see you another time. Lots of love. Bye for now. Take care.
