Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Holding back emotion from men?

10 Apr 2024 · 1 min

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In this brief coaching segment, Sami Wunder explains the concept of “leaning back” for women in dating. She defines leaning back as refraining from chasing men, double‑texting, or bombarding them with calls, which she frames as respecting masculine action. However, she cautions that this strategic restraint should not translate into suppressing genuine emotions. Women are encouraged to remain flirty, joyful, silly, and authentic—sharing hard days, embarrassment, excitement, and other feelings openly. Sami argues that authentic emotional expression combined with a natural flow of connection is essential; holding back emotions for the sake of strategy leads to inauthentic interactions and poor results.

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Think of leaning back in terms of masculine action, which means you're the woman who doesn't chase men, doesn't double-text men, and doesn't call men and blow up their phone. Not hold back emotionally. You can still be flirty, you can be fun, you can be joyful, you can be silly. You can share when you're having a hard day, share when something makes you feel embarrassed, share that you're really excited to see him on the date. Do not hold back emotion from men in the name of leaning back. If you hold back while building natural flow and connection with a man, that is never going to feel authentic, never going to get the results you want.