How to Attract High Value Men on Dating Apps
In this coaching video, dating and relationship expert Sami Wunder addresses high‑achieving women who feel they’re not attracting quality men on dating apps. She begins by reframing dating apps as a neutral tool rather than a flawed medium, acknowledging common negative experiences but urging viewers not to abandon the platforms. Wunder argues that the primary issue is a lack of strategy, not the apps themselves, and shares her own experiment on Bumble where she attracted doctors, lawyers, and CEOs, reinforcing that good men exist online. She cites her Elevate program’s results—about 70% of clients meet their husbands through apps—and outlines the three most frequent mistakes women make: (1) generic, non‑standout profiles; (2) unsuitable or low‑quality photos; and (3) ineffective texting that fails to secure dates. For each mistake, she promises concrete solutions in an upcoming live 2‑hour workshop on May 25, covering profile writing, photo selection, and texting techniques, plus a Q&A session. The workshop costs $97, includes a replay, and offers bonuses for the first 25 registrants, with a cap of 40 participants to keep it intimate. Throughout, Wunder emphasizes personal responsibility, the importance of a clear strategy, and the potential to attract top‑10% men from the comfort of home.
Chapters
If you're not attracting quality men on dating apps, this video is for you. Inside it, I will talk about the top 3 mistakes I see even the smartest, most brilliant women make when it comes to the way you are using dating apps. This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder, and for the last 10 years, I have been helping smart, successful, high-achieving women attract and keep incredible romantic relationships. Now, let's first and foremost visit your experience with dating apps. Have you tried them? If you have, give me a yes in the comments below. If you haven't tried them, I would love to ask you, what is your mindset around dating apps? Because I think one of the first things I coach my Elevate Singles group ladies is that you really want to adopt the mindset of using and seeing dating apps as a super helpful tool To help you meet more quality men. And because so many of you have gathered so many negative experiences on dating apps— I know, I know, I've heard all the horror stories— the scammers, the men who just endlessly text you and waste your time and never ask you out for a date, the men who chat with you all night, ask to see you on Sunday, then by the time Sunday comes, they have unmatched you, the men who show up on a date, look 20 years older than their pictures, have so much more belly fat than in their pictures. I have heard all of it. There is no horror story I haven't heard. And here's the thing, because you have gathered all these horrible experiences on dating apps, it is very natural and very human that maybe you have decided you're not going to use them. Maybe you have decided it just doesn't work. And here's the first big invitation I want to make to you. Just because You went to a restaurant or 2 and ate bad food, does it mean you'll never go to another restaurant again? Will you always eat at home for the rest of your life? No, you don't do that. But we often tend to do that in our love lives. We have a couple of bad experiences, and then we want to completely write off dating apps. So here's what I tell my clients. Dating apps are just a medium. They are just a way for you to attract quality men. And just like in the real world, you have a lot of crappy people, it's the same in dating apps. There's a lot of crappy people and there's a lot of good people, just like in the real world. After all, dating apps are a representation of our real physical society. So just like you have a lot of unemployed, aimless, emotionally unavailable men in real life, You may not be coming into contact with them every day, but trust me, they're there. It's the same on dating apps. There's a lot of unemployed, emotionally unavailable, non-serious, looking for something casual kind of men on dating apps as well. So what's important is, first and foremost, even before we talk about the mistakes I see women make and why you don't attract quality men online, is because you have to understand that dating apps are actually a neutral medium. They have no energy of their own. You can use them for good, or you can use them to make yourself miserable. And the number one reason that women fail to attract quality men online— and trust me, in 2023, I, as a married woman, went on Bumble just for my ELEVATE clients because I was like, I don't want to be one of those coaches that has been happily married for over years and has no idea what she's talking about when she is coaching her clients inside ELEVATE. So I set up a profile, a killer profile. I set up my photos and I texted. I didn't go on any real dates because my desire was to collect experience for my clients and see what they are facing and how they're swiping and how they're matching, and to understand all the apps' functionalities. But ladies, I had a brilliant time on the apps. I attracted doctors, lawyers, CEOs, And good-looking men looking for serious, committed relationships. And no, it's not because I am a supermodel. I'm never the supermodel kind of woman. I'm just Sami. I'm authentic and I love myself, but I would never consider myself in the league of supermodels or anything like that. And so what I learned was There are good men out there, just like in real life. Apps are just an aggregation of real life. And so if you are not having success with the apps, what is most important is to understand that you probably don't have a strategy that works. I have a story from a client who didn't use apps for years. Then she decided it was time for her to go on the apps, and so she set up a profile and she set up her pictures, and then she started And then she texted with this man all night, all night, woke up in the morning at 5:00 AM. By 7:00 AM, she had texted her girlfriend, I think I met somebody really nice. And by 2:00 PM, he had unmatched her. And then she came to me and she said, I'm so tired. I'm so discouraged. This just doesn't work. And this is a C-suite executive from KPMG, a C-suite executive. You are not above your emotions. You can be a very smart woman, you can be a professional career woman, but you're not above your emotions. And if you don't have a plan, if you don't have a strategy, if you don't know how to use dating apps for good, you're going to keep ending up in such experiences. So the dating apps are not the problem. The problem is the strategy, and most women have none. Okay. And we see that with ELEVATE clients. And in ELEVATE, we work with really professional women. with careers, so they're all very smart and intelligent. But when I see the way they're showing up on the apps, it's not going to work. So if you're not attracting quality men, stop blaming the apps and start seeing where is my strategy wrong or failing, because 70% of my ELEVATE clients attract their husbands on dating apps. How's that for a statistic? It's incredible. You would think that my statistics with my client success stories are about relationships, Actually, I don't even count committed partnerships in my client success stories. I only count engagements and marriages because for me, in my world, that is where true commitment lies. And this is not to judge people who just want committed partnerships, but my clients find husbands, quality husbands, literally husbands who are having top high-level jobs in the White House in the United States, top-level jobs as managers and C-suite executives. Okay? These guys are on the apps. And so if you're not attracting them, stop hating the apps, stop hating the male species, and let's take some responsibility. Let's see how we're doing stuff. And by the way, this Sunday, May 25th, I am doing a live 2-hour workshop on how you can show up online, use dating apps to attract quality men. Now, in this 2-hour workshop, I'm going to show you how to set up your profile, for victory, literally victory, and how to stand out in a crowd of millions of other women's, beautiful women's, young women's profiles. I'm also going to show you how to choose your pictures so that you actually attract the kind of top 10% quality man that you're looking for. I'm also going to show you how to text to get real quality dates. Real dates, no more texting for weeks before a date. Let's change that. And I am going to leave 1 hour for Q&A. So this is just $97, and there will be a replay available. So I highly recommend signing up if this is speaking to you right now. The link is in the description below the video, and if you can't find the link, just comment dating below the video in the comment section, and my team will give you the link to sign up. And if you can't make it live, no problem, there's a replay. So just Purchase your seat, get the replay. So let's take accountability for how we're showing up on the apps because great potential is available and it's available from the comfort of your home. I mean, we're all leading busy lives. We have— some of us are single mothers, some of us are, you know, really high demand in our careers. And so if you can just lie on your couch at the end of the day and know what you're doing on the apps and attract great guys through that, I think it's worth it. I think it's totally worth the $97 for the workshop, right? So let's start with the mistakes now. So the first reason, if you're not attracting quality men on dating apps, is your profile. Let's just face it, most of you have very generic profiles and you literally don't stand out. So it's easy for every woman to tell me, Sami, I would love to attract a top 10% man, you know, this type of income, this type of of looks, takes care of his health, has ambition, owns some properties and assets. I mean, of course, your individual list could differ, but you're looking for a masculine energy man who's got his life together. But is your profile speaking to that man? It's not. And I can tell you that I have reviewed over thousands of profiles by now. We do this regularly in Elevate Singles Group the first month itself. And you have to see the woman and then you have to see her profile and it's like, it's no match. That woman, she's brilliant. She's gorgeous. She's full of fire, full of passion, so kind, so intelligent. Her profile, nowhere close to who she authentically and really is. So for those of you who will be joining me on the workshop or purchasing your seat for the replay, to watch the replay, I show you in the workshop how to write a profile that stands out, really stands out. And I'm talking standing out when men swipe, swipe, swipe, they stop, they read, and they feel hooked. And that is skill. And I will teach you that. I teach that only to my ELEVATE clients, but this is the first time I'm running this workshop. And I'm so excited because the first 25 women to join will also get my entire ELEVATE methodology for mastering dating apps attracting quality dates within days and weeks, not months. Now, the second mistake you might be making with your dating profile is the kind of pictures you're posting. Again, when I look at the woman and then I look at her pictures, there's a gap of difference. She is not shining on the apps. She wants to attract the top quality men, but is she really showing up in a way that will catch the attention And stop a quality man dead in his tracks? No, she's not doing that. I see groups of photos, photos with sunglasses, old photos, poor quality, pixelated photos, standing with her girlfriends, totally confusing the man, like, which one is it? Doesn't work. Doesn't work. In the workshop, How to Attract Quality Men Using Dating Apps. I will show you what kind of pictures work, what kind of pictures I posted, what kind of pictures I'm asking my ELEVATE clients to use, that 70% of them are attracting their men using dating apps. And finally, the mistake that I see that costs you so much emotional draining— drainage and leaking energy and frustration and disappointment is when you don't know how to text in a way that gets you the date offer. So many of you are over-texting. It's unbelievable the number of women who are chatting with men on dating apps, having their hope go up, hoping that with all the chatting, the guy will step up and offer a date, and then it just doesn't happen. Or if it happens, he cancels on the last day, or he shows up and you're like, oh my goodness, I waited for 2 weeks to meet this guy and this is how he is, right? So the power is in learning to read the signs and learning to hold your boundaries when you text. Now, I'm going to teach you how to do this because that's a whole different conversation. It's a skill to learn. It's not something I can teach in a moment. Or in a second, and I'm going to teach you how to text. I'm going to teach you the questions to ask a man while you're chatting so that you know he is aligned, that you actually want to spend an evening getting dressed up and going out, and it's not going to be a waste. Because nobody has time for that. Nobody has time to get dressed up, travel, and then sit there with a guy who just wants it casual, just looking to have some fun. So, my dear ones, if you've had bad experiences with dating apps, you're not attracting the kind of men you want. If you're active on the apps, but you're not getting the results you want, or maybe you're not using the apps because you're feeling discouraged, I highly encourage you to take this incredible invitation to do this 2-hour workshop with me this Sunday, this Sunday, May 25th. And I will show you how to apply the strategy I teach my ELEVATE clients and actually start having fun on the apps. They're supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun talking to men. It's supposed to be fun getting asked out. It's supposed to be fun choosing from 3 different offers to which man you want to go out with. And that is possible for you, but only when you take responsibility for understanding that you cannot wing it. If you try to wing it on dating apps, you're going to have bad experiences, you're going to get discouraged and give up, and that doesn't help you, and it definitely doesn't help the man who wants to meet you and find you so much, as much as you want to find him. So whether you're watching this right now when you can still join me live on the 25th of May for the 2-hour workshop, or you're watching this video later on, you can still buy the seat And watch the replay. It is still equally valuable to learn the strategy I teach my ELEVATE clients. And for the first 25 women, remember, the ones who jump in fast, I think we have 5 seats left for that. You also get the ELEVATE Online Dating Mastery Cheat Sheet straight from my ELEVATE program. I've never revealed it before. The link to join the workshop is in the video description below, but if you can't find it, just comment dating and my team will give you the link. We're capping the group at a maximum 40 women, max, max, because I want this to be intimate. I don't want this to be a massive webinar. I actually want to speak to women who are serious about attracting a husband, serious about making this part of their life successful, and that comes with intention, energy, time investment. So if that's you, come join me on the workshop, and I can't wait to get to know you and help you out and help you attract quality men.
