How to spot a user or manipulator

I think one of the saddest places to be in a relationship is when, as a woman, you're wondering, does he really like me? Does he really care about me? Or is he just in the relationship because of the benefits he can get? So if your mind has this question inside it for whatever reason, then this is the video for you, because I'm going to give you the 7 clear signs that a man is using you. It's a very sad place to be in. And of course, I will invite you to watch the entire video, because if all of the signs are coming together, then it's time to face the reality. Yes, girl, he is in it for what he can get from you, and he doesn't really care about you. This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder. I am so happy you are here, and let's dive right in. So sign number 1 that a man is only using you. And this is a very simple one, but many women overlook it when they like the guy and they feel attraction for him. And this sign is, he only contacts you when he needs something. I mean, I wish this was true only for the romantic world, but this is also true for the professional world. There are literally people out there who only think about you when they need something from you. So if you are in a romantic connection with a guy who only thinks about you because, well, Could he use your truck today? Could he drive your car tomorrow? Can you bring him to the airport because his car tire is flat? Can you be so kind to pick up his packages? Can you look after his dog while he goes on the vacation? Big sign that this man is all about what he can get from you, because in a normal, healthy romantic equation, you want To see that somebody thinks about you and wants to hang out with you and spend time with you and cares about you and asks you, how are you? Even when they don't need something from you. So somebody who just knocks at your door and rings your phone or texts you when they want something from you, that is a sign that they are using you. Sign number 2 that a man is using you is when the relationship only stays physical and the man doesn't really put in effort to get to know you in Emotionally. So in a lot of the relationships that I see with my clients who sign up to work with me, their past pattern has always been being the booty call. So often, women will see the guy once a week, they will go have dinner, then they will go to her house or his house, and they will have sex. And that is the end of the relationship. It's a very superficial relationship where he spends some money on dinner, then he has sex with you, and whenever you need something, You know, this man doesn't care, doesn't ask, but the relationship is still good because when he does see you, it feels good and the dates are nice. But he's getting something more out of the relationship than you are, because as a woman, I am sure you need more than just the physical connection. But a man who is just in it for using you will be nice to you when he gets what he wants from you, which is sex. So if the relationship is only limited to sex and you don't feel like he cares about getting to know you more deeply, more personally, in a more emotional kind of way, then yes, that is a sign he is in it for himself and he could be using you. Now, sign number 3 that a man is using you is when he doesn't introduce you to his friends and family. You see, when a man likes a woman, he is proud of having her in his life. He wants to show her off to his friends. He wants to show her off to his family. He wants the connection to deepen. But a man who is just using you, who's just thinking about, what is it that I can get from her? What is it that I can get from this woman? How can she benefit me? Because I'm not thinking about her as a girlfriend. I'm not thinking about her as a wife. It's only about, what can I get from her? Then this man is definitely going to keep you separate from the rest of his life. He's going to not involve you in his life. He's not going to introduce you to the people who are important to him. Now, of course, I'm not talking about introducing you on date 1, date 2, date 3. But let's just say, Let's say you're spending more and more time with this man. You're 6 dates in, 8 dates in, and you've never met his best friend. You never hear about his parents or what his mom does, and when she calls, he ignores the call because you're around. Or when somebody comes over that weekend, he doesn't date you because he doesn't want to introduce you. Those are signs he's just in the relationship to get his benefits and to use you. Now, sign number 4 that a man is just using you is he avoids talking about the future. Again, number 3 and number 4 are connected. You see, when a man is just in it for his benefit, and a lot of the time those benefits are primarily sex— so we definitely have friends with benefit equations that will fit into this video— but it could also be just a manipulative man who not only wants to get sex out of you, but also wants to get money out of you, wants to get benefits out of you, wants to use your car, wants to use your connections to get the next introduction for his job. There are people like that, you know, who think about even in dating, what is the benefit I can get from this person? So if that is happening, this man will never talk about a future with you. You see, men are so straightforward to read. If a man is interested in a future with you— with all my ELEVATE clients, I see all our success stories, 1,100+ success stories, women who found loving partnerships and husbands and attracted romantic dream proposals. One theme that stands out with all these women is that when their men started to fall for them, These men were constantly talking about the future, and the woman was more relaxed and indifferent, but the man was definitely leading and talking about, would you like to spend Christmas with me? Maybe you and I can go on this really amazing concert together. So there are a lot of references of the future, and these are not games. These are just men acting on their instincts. When they like a woman, they want to spend more time with you, and they want to lock you in for the future. But a man who's just in it for what he can get from you in the present moment. He's never thinking about the future. In fact, if you bring up the future in a friends-with-benefits connection, or in a connection where he's using you as a booty call— and please take this with love, don't judge yourself. So many women have been in your shoes, so be kind to yourself as you watch this video, and especially if all the signs are ringing true for you. Remember that this kind of man will avoid and duck out of any talk about the future. So you might find yourself dating him, For months and wondering, where do I stand with him? What's the plan? Does he want me to be his girlfriend? We're sleeping together, but he's not offered exclusivity. He's not offered a commitment. And that's because he's not thinking about those things. In his mind, this relationship is about what he can get from you and how he can use you. And it's definitely not about a long-term romantic connection. So that's a huge red flag. Sign number 5 that a man is just using you is when he disappears after getting what he wants. So this is a classic scenario where women will tell me, you know, we had a great date last week and we had sex and he cooked for me. And then all week I heard nothing from him. And now I hear from him again. It's a Sunday. It's been more than a week. And now again, he wants to see me. He wants me to come over. And I don't want this dating equation to just be about sex, but that's what it seems like to me. And he just disappears in the middle and then he comes back whenever he needs Something again. So this is a classic sign that this person doesn't really care about you. They don't care about getting to know you. They don't care about making an effort. They don't care about investing in you. Any intelligent man who wants to have a committed partnership understands that it takes investment. It takes investment of time. It takes investment of energy. It takes investment of money in a woman in order to win her heart and keep a relationship with her. But in scenarios like this, where a man is just in it for himself and just to use you and just to get the benefits he wants from you, and he's not really thinking about long-term Family, kids, settling down, commitment, future, he's going to disappear on you after he gets what he wants. But then he will come back again when that need arises. So it could be for sex, but it could be for other things as well, other more financial or monetary benefits that he might be getting from you. So watch out for this behavior. Now, sign #6 that a man is just using you is when he makes you feel bad for having basic needs in a relationship. You see, men who are just in it for themselves, Men who are just in it to use you do not want to be of benefit or use to you. You know, they're too cool for school for that. They want to get what they want from you. But when you talk about, do you have a plan for us? Where is this going? I'm 39 years old. You know, I want to have a family. I want to have kids. Where is this going? They're going to be like, oh, you're too needy. You're too demanding. You know, it doesn't make you look very attractive when you talk about the future all the time. It doesn't make you feel very attractive to me when you say you want to spend the weekends with me, not just the You know, it feels very needy to me. And even though that is like such a basic request, at some point when a relationship is progressing, you don't just want to spend weekdays with a guy. You want to, you know, spend more time with him. Whenever you ask for something, you're going to be made out to be the crazy one. You're going to be made out to be, you're asking for too much, and you should be less needy and less demanding. So if that's happening, he's in it for himself. By the way, you've made it so far. Make sure to hit like, subscribe to my channel, and leave me a comment if this was helpful. Because I think education is so important when it comes to our love lives. And we invest time and energy in learning how to dance and learning how to swim and learning how to cook, but we don't give enough attention to our love lives. And that is where so many women could do so much better, avoid wasting so many years, avoid wasting so much time, energy, heartache on the wrong men, if they just took the time to educate themselves. So yes, let's talk about the final sign that a man is just using you. But before that, make sure to hit the link in the description, which is going to take you to the waitlist for my Pink Tuesday Black Friday sale that is happening this month, and where you can grab from 70% to 80% off on all my amazing educational digital love coaching programs. It's a sale you don't want to miss. All right, so the final sign that a man is just using you is when everything in the relationship feels transactional. When a man is using you, he's going to count every penny he spends on you. He's going to remind you of all the favors he's done for you. He's going to constantly quote, I did that for you, so now it's time for you to do that. I booked the last date, so now it's time for you to book the date. I paid last time, so now it's time for you to do this. And so you will see that everything feels very transactional. And because this person doesn't have their heart in the relationship, They are keeping score, and they're keeping score because ultimately they want to get more out of you than they want to give to you. So the sign that everything in a relationship feels transactional, and it's always about who gave what, who did what, whose turn it is to do what, that is a sign that there is not enough deep emotional connection in this relationship, and it's all about what a man can get from you. So have you seen yourself in these signs? Is your relationship or dating dynamic with a man in these signs? I would love to hear from you in the comments below. And remember, Pink Tuesday is coming. It's my Black Friday sale once a year. 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