In this solo coaching video, dating expert Sami Wunder explains how women can tell whether a man has actually proposed a concrete date and what actions to take in each scenario. She defines a "real" date as an invitation that includes three essential elements—day, time, and place—and shows examples of vague language that do not constitute a confirmed date. For proposals lacking any of the three elements, she advises women not to chase the man with follow‑up texts, emphasizing that a confident woman with options should not waste energy on unclear offers. When a man does provide a full, specific invitation, Sami recommends sending a brief, confident confirmation message the day before (e.g., “I have you logged in for tomorrow, see you then”) rather than an eager‑beaver query like “Are we still on?”. She explains why word choice matters, linking it to perceived respect and communication skill. The video concludes with a call‑to‑action to join her ELEVATE coaching program and book a free strategy call.
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The man has not confirmed the date. What do you do now? Should you check in? Hey, are we still meeting? Should you let it go? I know how confusing this can feel, so you have arrived at the right video because I'm going to give you exactly what to say and what to do in the various scenarios that happen where a man has proposed meeting you for a date, but he has not confirmed it. So the most important thing to understand is, have you really gotten a real proposal So many women think they have a date when they don't really have a date. So let's look at what is not a date proposal. So what is not a date proposal is when a guy says something like, hey, this has been such a fun conversation, let's meet next week. This is not a date. Or maybe the guy and you are flirting on the dating app, over WhatsApp, and he says something like, by the way, what are you doing on the weekend? That's not a proposal for a date. What is also not a date is when a guy says something like, hey, this feels so good, we should catch up for drinks this weekend. It feels like a date, but it's not a date. Anything vague like, we should have drinks, we should have dinner, we should catch up, we should hang out— none of this is a real date. And I see so many smart women think that just because a guy said, what are you doing this weekend? Or, we should catch dinner this weekend, they You don't have a date. So in ELEVATE, I teach my clients, a date is a real offer. You only have a date when a man gives you 3 elements. 3 elements. The first element of a real formal date is the day. Are you free on Saturday? The second element is the time. After 7 PM. The 3rd element is the place. To see me for dinner at Rodeo's Mexican Bar. This is a formal invitation of a date. Now, if any of these 3 elements are missing, if you don't have the time— Let's meet Saturday at Rodeo's Bar. There's no time. This is not a confirmed date. Maybe there's no place. Let's meet this Saturday around 3 PM. Where, mister? This is not a confirmed date. Or maybe there is no day. So let's meet at Rodeo's after 7 PM. When, mister? What date? So a lot of the times, women think that they have a date proposal, a confirmation of a date, but they don't have a real date. So anytime you get caught up in men's vague proposals, it's not a date. It is not confirmed, and I absolutely do not want you to be reaching out to these men and confirming, hey, are we still on? Hey, what about Saturday? Hey, are we meeting on Saturday? Should I make other plans, or are we still on? Do not do that, because a woman with options would never do that. A woman with her own life would never do that. She would never run after a stranger and ask him if the date is still on, when the stranger hasn't even bothered to give her a proper confirmed plan for a date. Now, of course, What happens if a guy has given you a proper date confirmation, which means he has said, let's meet this Saturday after 3 PM at Rodeo's Mexican Bar? You have all 3 elements. Now, this is a proper confirmed date. Now, if he has not reached out to you in the middle, what I ask my clients to do is send a short message the day before. And say something like, I have logged you in my calendar for this. We'll see you tomorrow. Something like this. Nothing too attached. Usually, this is a smart move because, you know, it's early dating and sometimes guys cancel. People are having lots of options. Things can change in 5 days. So if he's still on, he will respond to you. He will say, yes, I'm looking forward to it. And if you don't get a response, that's a bad sign. Then the date is off. He's probably met someone else. He has no intention, and he's forgotten, or he's going to come up with some last-minute excuse the next day. So when you have a confirmation of a date with all the 3 elements, it's not a problem to reach out to a man. The only thing is the language, right? Because language matters. And I was recently talking to a client in Elevate where she's like, Why do we have to choose our words? And why do we have to think about what we're saying? And the way I helped her shift this perspective was, you know, just think about a good guy, 2 good guys. One talks to you really respectfully and knows how to use communication and words, and one talks to you really brashly. Who will you go with? You'll go with the one who's a good communicator. So it's not fair to say, oh, Sami, why do I have to choose my words? Why do words matter? Words always matter. And every man is perceiving you by the way you choose your words and by the way you choose your tone. So my recommendation is not to say things like, are we still on? Are we 100% meeting tomorrow? Is it confirmed for tomorrow? You know, it feels very eager beaver energy. Instead, what you want to do is go with something like, Hello, I have you logged in for tomorrow. See you then. Something like this, which is a statement. It assumes positive intention. It assumes the date is still on. There is no insecurity. There is no fear of being dropped out, abandoned, canceled on. It's positive self-confidence. You offered me a time, place, and date, and I assume all is well until confirmed otherwise. So this is the stance of confidence that you are more than welcome to take. Especially if there has been a drop in communication in the middle. But for most women, where I find them agonizing over, is the date confirmed or not? Should I send a text or not? It's actually over the first 3 scenarios that I was talking about, where you don't even have a confirmed plan, but you're getting all wound up because you have built a story in your head that because he said, are you free on the weekend? Or because he said, we should catch up on the weekend, A date is on and he's planning something. A date is only on when it's super specific with those three elements. If you have those three elements, there's not a problem a day before to send a text which says, you know, I am excited for dinner tomorrow. Something positive, upbeat like that. But if you don't have a confirmation of those three elements, you don't have a date. And if you don't have a date. And you text a man to say, are we on for the weekend? You are chasing him. He didn't even offer you anything concrete. And you don't want to chase men. You just don't want to chase men. You don't want to chase anyone because you're awesome. And the right man will see how awesome you are and would ideally not be able to wait to see you in real life and smell your perfume and look how wonderful and gorgeous you are. So no. Do not text men who are vaguely dropping ideas in your head and not following up with concrete plans. Don't do that. But if you have a concrete plan, there's no problem confirming it the day before. I hope this was helpful. Please send me love on this video. Like, really, I need the love. Give me a heart. Give me a like. Tell me this was helpful in the comments. And if you want to work with me inside ELEVATE to attract your dream relationship, because it's no fun doing this stuff alone, then book a free strategy call with my team. The link should be in the description below. There's no pressure to join. We want to get to know you. We want to see if it's a right fit for both sides, but we are accepting new clients into the next edition of the program. Lots of love. Bye.
