Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

If the guy is ignoring you, here is what he thinks

7 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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In this segment of Sami Wunder’s YouTube video, she explains a common dating dynamic where men often maintain one primary partner and keep one to three “placeholder” partners as backups. When a man chooses to ignore a woman’s messages, he is consciously taking a risk: if the woman has high self‑esteem, strong market value, and other options, she may become bored, lose interest, and move on. Wunder frames the behavior as a calculated gamble based on the woman’s perceived desirability, suggesting that ignoring is only viable when the man believes the woman’s self‑esteem and alternatives are low enough that she will stay attached despite the silence.

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Men will have one main chick they will invest in, and then 1 or 2 or even 3 placeholders in case the main chick doesn't work out, then they can get easy re-entry back to the side chicks. So in this scenario, I would say that if a guy is ignoring you, he's literally taking the risk to lose you. Because every man understands that if a woman has high self-esteem and she has options in the market, which is she's the prize, she's in demand, then if he ignores your text and you have healthy self-esteem, you're going to get bored, you're going to get disinterested, you're going to move on. So he's literally taking the risk and assuming it's going to be okay to ignore you.