Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Is he worried about losing you?

13 Dec 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:51

In this YouTube segment, dating coach Sami Wunder argues that women must keep romantic tension high to prevent men from disappearing. She claims that making a man feel a degree of insecurity or threat of loss motivates him to stay invested and perform at his best. Wunder explains that, like anyone, men often take good things for granted, so an "amazing" woman isn’t automatically valued day‑to‑day. Therefore, she advises women to strategically "show up" in dating by creating and sustaining tension, ensuring the man remains worried about losing her and continues to put effort into the connection.

Chapters

If you want men to stop disappearing on you, you have to show up and date in a way that keeps the tension high, which simply means making a man feel some amount of insecurity, some amount of threat around losing you, because that's when men stay at their best performance. That's when they invest and keep the connection going. And if you're wondering, why don't men take a good woman seriously from the start? Why do men need tension in order to, you know, keep coming for us and keep pursuing us? Here's the truth. Not just men, Again, we all take good things for granted. Just because you're an amazing woman doesn't mean a man is going to value you on a day-to-day basis. This is why it's so important to know how to show up in dating, to keep the tension high, to not let a man slack in his effort for you, and to make sure he is worried about losing you.