Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Let him invest in you

16 Apr 2024 · 1 min

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In this segment of her YouTube video "Let him invest in you," relationship coach Sami Wunder argues that men value what they actively work for, and that a proclaimed 50/50 approach often signals a man's reluctance to be emotionally vulnerable. She suggests that men who cling to strict equality are playing it safe and avoiding deeper connection. According to Wunder, as men mature they shift from demanding equal effort to wanting to please and invest in their partner, because genuine bonding for a man requires that he feels he is investing in the woman. The advice encourages women to recognize this dynamic and allow space for men to demonstrate investment rather than forcing a forced equality.

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Men value what they make an effort for. As a woman, it is so easy to think, oh, I should show more interest, drive to him, make things happen, do this 50/50 and make an effort. A man who says this should be 50/50, should be equality-based, is a man who is not fully ready to be emotionally vulnerable and connected in the relationship. He wants to play it safe. These men, maybe they were boys before, talking about 50/50 and about the woman making the effort in the beginning of their dating phase, but then they mature into men, they go from this space into the space of wanting to please the woman, wanting to make her smile, and wanting to invest in her. Because a man cannot bond unless he's investing in the woman.