Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Let the man be the masculine

8 Oct 2025 · 1 min

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1:09

In this relationship‑coaching monologue, Sami Wunder argues that healthy heterosexual relationships depend on a clear polarity of masculine and feminine energies. She claims men should embody a leading, initiating, "doing" masculine energy, while women should adopt a receptive, feminine stance. When women talk excessively, overshare, or try too hard to "make the relationship work," they project masculine energy, which disrupts the polarity. This leads men to feel conflicted, potentially causing arguments, confrontation, or a loss of attraction because the man can no longer see the woman as a "queen" he must impress and work for.

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Romantic relationships that are healthy with men have an energy of polarity between you and the man. He has to be in his masculine, doing, leading, initiating energy around you, and you want to be in your feminine, receiving energy around him. So when a woman talks a lot, overshares and overgives, and tries to make the relationship work, she thinks that she's trying to connect with the guy. But what he experiences— he's not thinking this— men feel around a woman. And the way a man feels around you in dating He is going to be deciding whether or not he keeps asking you out. So when you are in this performance mode, basically trying hard to make a connection by talking a lot, he feels your masculine energy. And if you are talking a lot, you are making him feel like you are in masculine, and then he can't really be in his masculine around you, or his masculine will meet your masculine, which will either lead to arguments, confrontation, headbutting, or it will lead to canceling out of the polarity, which means he is not going to think of you as a queen that he has to impress, that he has to work for.