Love On Your Terms | Sami Wunder

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Woohoo! Hello and welcome everyone. To the Love on Your Terms Boundaries Masterclass with love coach Sami Wunder. Now I am so excited that hundreds of you are joining us live and thousands of you will probably watch this on replay, and today we are switching up the format of the presentation, so instead of killing you with 110 PowerPoint slides, frankly, which is also not my way of doing things anymore, I decided to go conversational today. So I want to keep this presentation on boundaries really conversational, really intimate, and to help me do this, I have my extraordinary team member Natalie Berry with me here. She is a senior coach, with 15 years of experience, and she's also the head of my sales team, basically the woman you talk to when you want the Sami Wunder magic in your love life or in your relationships. So Natalie, would you like to please quickly say hi to the ladies, the divas?

Yes, hello, hello lovely ladies, hello divas. So as Sami said, I'm Natalie, or commonly known as Dave by the team because we have 3 Nathalies, and my job today is twofold. So the first job I have is to interview the magical Sami and to ask her the brilliant and difficult questions that you really want to know to find out the juicy gossip that's stopping you from expressing your boundaries and keeping people pleasing. My second job is to keep you really accountable to take action. So I know and work with those people who want to get Sami's magic in their hands, in their hearts, and they want results. But the thing is, is if you don't take the action, you're not going to get results. So my job is to help you to take action today. So hopefully that sounds good. So, Sami, can you let us know, um, what, on my interviewer role, what myself and the ladies can be excited about learning about in the next 60 to 90 minutes?

Yes. So we're going to be talking about 3 things primarily. One is, in my decade-long experience as a relationship coach, what are the top 3 mistakes I see ambitious women make when it comes to expressing their boundaries, and why so often women push men away instead of bringing them closer when they are expressing their boundaries? Number 2, we're going to talk about how you can find a way to express your boundaries so that men will actually Listen, because that's what you want. You want them to listen. You don't just want to express your boundaries for ego's sake. You don't want to just express your boundaries for the sake of controlling a man. You actually want to build deeper intimacy and connection, whether you're dating or you're in a relationship, when you are expressing your boundaries. So we're going to talk about how to do that. And number 3, we're going to talk about super practical 3 must-have ways to communicate your boundaries in an empowered way.

Thank you very much, Sami. That sounds exciting to me. I don't know about you. I'm sure it does, and I'm very excited to learn too. So what Sami hasn't told you about is we've got a super sexy secret. So for those that stay to the end, um, we're gonna be giving you a gift, a gift that Sami has generously, as always, offered to you. So it's your 3 powerful scripts on how to express your boundary when your man feels defensive or angry or possibly feels criticized by you expressing your boundaries. So if that gift sounds good, make sure you stay to the end so you can grab that gift. So on that note, Sami, why— oh, go on, Sami.

I just wanted to say that I think that gift is really worth staying for because I think so often we think of boundaries as this simple linear path where we speak our truth and the guy will just nod his head and say yes. Real life doesn't look like that. That's not real. And this is why these scripts are so powerful, because often when you will speak your truth in relationships and dating, men will get defensive, men will feel criticized, and you've got to know how to deal with these situations. And that's why I think this PDF is so powerful because we will not be talking about defensive men, angry men, offended men on this masterclass, and therefore the PDF is a great tool to turn to. So you'll get the link as long as you stay right till the end.

It's amazing, believe me, I've seen it. You'll want to stay to the end and get it. Don't be without it, stay to the end. So on that note, why Should we stay, you know, for, for 60 to 90 minutes and learn about boundaries instead of going for a drink with our friends? And I know on this call— and hello everybody, you may know me already— that there's some of your really successful clients on here already. But for those lovely ladies who are brand new to your work or have just started, what can they expect and why should they listen to you? Who are you? The next 60 minutes.

Okay, good questions. Why should you listen to a masterclass on boundaries instead of going out with a friend right now? Because the quality of your love life and your romantic relationships truly depends on your ability to draw boundaries. And I really want this to land. So if you are a woman who is feeling resentful in her relationships, if you're somebody who has a really hard time asking for her needs to be met in dating, if you constantly find that maybe you're really successful in your career and, you know, I work with very ambitious, successful women, if you find that you are having this great success in your business or your career, but in your love life you feel like— I'm sorry to use the term, but you often feel like men walk all over you. If you feel like you settle for poor treatment, if you feel like you end up saying yes to things you don't want to say yes to, if you feel like you're tired of always being the one catering to what the man wants, what the family wants, what everybody else wants from you, instead of really living a life that is aligned with your truth, then you absolutely freaking must sit here for the next 1 hour to 90 minutes because you owe this to yourself. And I truly believe that this is inner work, and most women don't stop to do the inner work, and then they keep repeating patterns in their relationships— heartbreak after heartbreak, bad guy after bad guy, poor treatment in one relationship after the next. And it is because we do not understand the value of doing this inner work. We'd rather, you know, invest in business. We'd rather invest in handbags and holidays versus really invest in ourselves and our capacity and our skill set to do relationships better. And in my world, relationships are truly what defines the quality of our lives and our mental and emotional health. And there is truly nothing more important and precious than this. Now in terms of why should you listen to Sami Wunder, well, it's time for me to own it that in a noisy world of millions dating and relationship coaches, I represent today a voice in the industry that is highly trusted by the who's who of the industry. I have been doing this for the last decade now, working as a dating and relationship coach for high-achieving women. I have a terrific track record of client results. Over 950 women have attracted healthy men, empowered men, marriages, proposals, and healed their relationships and completely turned around their destiny when it comes to their love lives. And a lot of these women that are our success stories, they have intergenerational trauma. They have never seen healthy role models in their relationships. They have never had a healthy relationship, and they have used my Love Success Framework, which I talk about in Elevate, to create a complete different reality for themselves. And so in a very noisy market, I am a CPD-verified love coach, which means all my success stories and testimonials have been verified. And I do believe that is important in today's world where, you know, if you invest thousands in working with a coach, you want to make sure that they are safe safe and legit. And apart from that, I'm a wife myself, I'm a mother myself, I know the ups and downs of relationships, and I believe I truly walk my talk and I don't play Miss Perfect. I share my challenges in my own marriage, 11-year-long marriage, 2 kids in, and I believe this is why you want to hear what I have to say about boundaries today because it comes from A hell lot of experience that you just can't replace no matter how well you dance on TikTok.

And I, I've got to back that. I mean, as I'm, I'm not only a part of Team Sami, but I have been part of Elevate and been one of Sami's clients. And I can say I've been in the personal development for over 20 years industry. There are many, many coaches out there, but especially now an ever-growing number of relationship coaches. And I can say hand on heart that I don't know of anyone on the planet, and I'm in social media a lot, that knows their craft as well as Sami does, who can magically pull out of you and notice things that no one else would. And the endless success stories of how quickly this has affected people's lives. And it's not just that. It's, it's for me, Sami is a living embodiment of the work she does. She doesn't like just give it mouthwork. It's like she eats, sleeps, breathes it. And most importantly, Sami's not some perfect example that you can never reach. She keeps it real. So you know that, you know, and, and she's learning. And every time she learns, she passes that on and adds that onto her programmes. And I just think that's magical. And if you don't mind, Sami, before we dive into this mind-blowing content that I know you've got prepared, because I'm gonna make it tricky for you so we get out all the juicy bits. Would you mind if I took, um, 2 minutes, um, and before we start talking about how you're killing your relationships really by people pleasing and not setting boundaries. So can I take 2 minutes just to speak to the ladies about what I'd recommend that they would do?

Yes, absolutely. Please go ahead.

Okay, so lovely ladies, um, here's my call to action. So it's the first time I'm going to call you to action in this masterclass. So if you are finding that you're not getting the results you want in your relationship, maybe you're not really feeling that you're living the life and love that you deserve, we've got a call to action for you. So you might have noticed on my screen, if you can see me now, that there's a book a call QR code above my head. So, um, what this is, is a call for you to book a call. So I'm the one on Sami's team that you speak to if you want to be part of Sami's magic, and we'll be telling you much more about that later. And we, we are absolute experts In helping you achieve the love you desire. So what are you going to get on this call? You're going to find out if you're fit for the programs, and we will tell you honestly. But before I get distracted, I want you to book your consultation call now. So if you're really serious about doing this work, and I've seen in the chat a lot of you are saying that I'm ready to do the inner work to get started, book your call. The thing is about these calls is they're with me, and my time is limited. And these are only reserved for people that are ready to do the work and ready to have the love that they desire in 2024. So you can— the chat— in the chat, there's going to be the link to book a call, or you can get out your phone and scan the QR code, and that's going to be above me all the time. So I would recommend that you book that as soon as possible. So, can we give the ladies a minute just to take the time if they want to book a call.

Yes, let's do this now. I think that's a very, very smart move. I think there are a lot of busy women on this call who know they are ready to take action, and this is going to be like a quick 15-20 minute consultation with you on how we can help you attract your ideal man and upgrade your relationship to a whole new level of empowerment and what you never thought was even possible for you. So of course, we know that you're here for the Boundaries Masterclass training. But Natalie, I doubt that everyone just wants a lecture on boundaries. I think what they're ultimately coming for is a bigger aspiration, right? The bigger aspiration is how do I use this tool to attract my person? How do I use this tool to get faster results in my dating? How do I use this tool to have more intimacy with my man? And that's what this call is about. It's about the ultimate goal and exploring if, you know, we can help you achieve this ultimate goal. And of course, we don't work with everybody, so we want to make sure that we're talking to you. We want to make sure that you are right fit for us to give you the support so that you can actually get results with us, because that's what we care most about. So let's give it another 30 seconds. Everyone who's booked a call, you should find the link in the chat box. Just give us a quick booked in the chat that you've booked your call, and then we move forward.

Yeah, so to answer your question, Natalie, as Sami said, the calls are for 15 minutes, possibly 20. And what my job is really is to identify what's really holding you back and to speak to you to find out if Sami's programs will be suitable for you, because sometimes they're not. So it's my job to make sure you're really ready to get started. And—

If you are watching this on replay and not live, you will find the link to book a call on the side of this video or below this video. Okay, so you're smart women. Yeah. So figure that out. Okay, so give me a thumbs up if you're ready to dive in. If you're ready to dive in, say yay in the chat box. If you've booked your call, say booked in the chat box, and then we dive right in. Yay! Okay, awesome.

Oh, perfect. Lovely to see those bookings, and I look forward to speaking to you soon. So let's get on with the juicy content that our lovely ladies are here for. So without further ado, let's dive right in. So, Sami, my first question to you is really, a lot of women have problems with drawing those boundaries and also speaking our truth to men because we're worried about what might happen if we do. So what would be your advice on that?

So I think it's important to start at the right place, which means that if you are a woman who is having a hard time expressing your boundaries to men and asking for what you want, or drawing a line in the sand that this doesn't work for you, you have to go back and explore your belief system about boundaries, okay? Because it is your subconscious belief system about boundaries that is driving your behavior. So what is the subconscious belief system? This subconscious belief system, most of the times for the women that I work with, is that it is not loving of me to draw boundaries. When I draw boundaries, I become a selfish person. When I draw boundaries, I am somehow not being in a loving space towards the person I like or love. And so when you think this way, what this brings up is emotions of loss, fear of abandonment, fear of not being a good person when you draw your boundaries, and fear of hurting or pushing away the very person you like or love. And so how on earth can you have an easy time drawing boundaries? Because your belief system actually completely goes against you drawing your boundaries and speaking your truth, because your belief system is actually telling you that it's not a very loving thing to do when you draw boundaries. Now I want to just hear back from the ladies. Does this resonate? Does this land for you already? If it does, give me a quick 1 in the chat box. Yeah, so whenever we're looking at shifting any kind of behavior, we have to get curious about what drives that behavior. And what drives that behavior is the belief system. And so my belief system in my world is that Healthy boundaries belong to healthy relationships. Boundaries belong to healthy relationships. Boundaries are not something attacking or offensive that we do when we love somebody. Boundaries are actually part of being in a healthy relationship, and my belief system is That I actually really love you. If I care to speak my truth to you, if I didn't care about you, and if I didn't care about our relationship, I wouldn't speak the truth to you. It is because I care about you, and it is because I love you, and it is because I care about our relationship that I owe this to you, and I owe this to me. To draw my boundaries, because here's what I know. I've been doing this for ten years now, and there is a very straightforward path of dependency that I can predict when a woman is not speaking her truth and when a woman is not drawing healthy boundaries. She will at one point get resentful, and she will at one point start hating, disliking, and attacking the very same person she loves. or likes because she did not speak her truth, she did not draw her boundaries. And so it is only when we don't love somebody that we don't speak our truth, because if we really loved somebody and we really cared about them, we know that if we don't speak our truth, we don't draw our boundaries, this relationship will end up becoming poisonous, toxic, unhealthy very quickly in just a few months' time. And I see this repeatedly happen to women. So if you're having a hard time— to come back to your question— drawing boundaries, you have to reflect on your belief system and shift the belief system around how boundaries are actually the most loving way to be in a relationship.

Wow. Well, what a great answer. And I'm, I mean, we've learned a lot already and we're like 20 minutes in. It's amazing. So you talked about the difficulty of drawing boundaries and it's our belief systems. But certainly in my experience, you know, when, yes, it is difficult and you start out with good intentions that way, but What happens for women sometimes, and me, from people I speak to in calls and from personal experience, is we've got a hard time drawing those boundaries, especially when we like someone. So can you tell us more about that?

Yeah. So again, I'm going to speak from experience and, you know, I do this for a living. I live and breathe this stuff every single day. And I've coached over 1,200+ clients, students inside Elevate already, which is, you know, opening doors today, which I'm really excited about. So let's talk about what happens when you like a man or love a man, and why do boundaries become harder to draw when we like or love somebody? So I have a couple of explanations for it. The first one is that you are in those situations led more by your attraction towards the man versus prioritizing your state of well-being. Did this land? Should I say it again? You are more driven in those moments when you are hiding your truth, not drawing your boundaries, scared to rock the boat and make a mess— you are driven more by your attraction towards the man versus Your obsession with your well-being. Now just hear this: you are driven by your attraction versus your well-being. What if I told you no healthy relationship can be created without your well-being? I'm going to say that again. What if I told you no healthy relationship can be created without your well-being? And so this is for single high-achieving women that I work with, and I, I've worked with celebrities, you know, 7-figure entrepreneurs, multi-7-figure entrepreneurs, models. You know, these are such smart women that I work with. I've also worked with teachers and doctors and engineers and, you know, lawyers, but these are all very smart women I work with. But when it comes in their love life, You know, they are not prioritizing the state of their well-being. And how can you create anything healthy with a man by putting your well-being on a lower rung and putting attraction on the first rung of the ladder? So that's what's happening. Been doing this for a decade, and this needs to shift. Because this is the formula for creating unhealthy, toxic relationships. If you're having a hard time, if you attract many men— this is speaking to the single women right now— if you attract many attractive men, but then soon your relationships become this drama, or soon your relationships become this place where he starts to take you more and more for granted, this is what's happening. If you're in a relationship or married for many years and you're starting to feel more and more resentful, this is what's happening, right? What could also be, of course, happening in a marriage situation if, uh, you know, um, boundaries are not being respected, that, you know, the woman might be expressing them in a way that he can't hear, which we'll come to. But otherwise, you know, so often if we're not speaking our truth, we are giving priority to attraction above our well-being. And this has to shift. Our well-being has to go number one, and attraction is number two. Now, the second reason, of course, which follows from this is women do this subconsciously. Nobody does this consciously, but you make the man the prize. If you are not speaking your truth, what are you scared of? What are you scared of? You're scared of something, right? Obviously you're scared of something. So if you're not speaking your truth, you're scared of losing him. You're scared of him abandoning you. You're scared of him thinking less of you, or that you're too difficult, or you're too high maintenance. But in thinking all these ways, you are making him the prize. And in the Sammy Wonder world, you are the prize. The woman is the prize. And so again, subconsciously, it is this first idea that I introduced where we are putting the man on the pedestal and we are putting our well-being below that. And we have to put our well-being on the pedestal. And we have to remember that it is only by standing on the pedestal, by speaking our truth, by being authentic in the way we show up in our relationships, that we can attract a healthy man. Now, the third reason why women could have a hard time expressing their truth to men they like or the partner that they love is because it could be rooted in, you know, childhood trauma. It could be rooted in childhood experiences. The fear of conflict is a big one for a lot of women I work with. You know, whenever they raise their voice— and by raise their voice, I don't mean they screamed, I just mean they asked for their needs to be met or asked for, you know, um, draw a boundary, um, they were rejected. They were told they were too high maintenance. They were told they are causing drama. They were told this is not important, stop emphasizing so much, uh, on your needs and wants. They were told stop being narcissistic, you are— the world doesn't rotate around you. And so it's like you're dealing with a woman who is even wondering if her needs and wants are important, right? Does she even deserve to express them? So that could also be happening when we have a hard time, you know, expressing our boundaries. And I think the next thing I want to say here— and I'm aware of the time, so we'll move forward quickly— the next thing I want to say here is that if you look at precedents in history, if you look at societal stereotypes, women are conventionally hailed for being overgivers as great people. If you sacrifice yourself, if you are— if I can just walk all over you, you're such a nice person, you're so cool, you're so pleasant. But if I have a voice where I look after myself, I look after my needs, I say no— I'm a reasonable person, I don't always say no, but when I don't have the bandwidth, I say no— then you make me a bad person. And so I even see this with my Elevate clients, you know, they do all this work And yet sometimes, you know, I will catch that they are still sacrificing, maybe not with men anymore, but in their family context, overgiving to their— overgiving to family, you know, never having time for self, never saying no, never drawing the boundaries, never wanting to be the bad girl. And I think society has a big role to play in this because society literally tells women, if you overgive If you forget about yourself, if you abandon yourself, you are a wonderful woman. But if you say, "I'm not going to abandon myself for you," I'm going to value my well-being. I'm going to ask for what I want and need. Hmm. Now you're becoming difficult, and I don't like that. And so I think we are all very afraid of. not being good people when we draw boundaries. We're very afraid, and we all want to be good people. There are only good people watching this right now. We're all good people. I don't have to even, um, ask that question. I don't have to ask that question. There is nobody on this call who is intentionally hurting anybody. There is nobody on this watching this right now who's malicious. And yet, why do we give ourselves such a hard time? Every single day we ask ourselves, am I a good person? Am I a good person? You are a good person, and you get to be a good person while having your boundaries in place. And so we really have to stop with ultimately what I call man-pleasing, people-pleasing, right? Because if you're always going to worry if you're a good person or not when you're drawing boundaries and when you're saying no and when you're speaking your truth, you're going to try to overcompensate. You know, there's always going to be a part of you that's going to overcompensate for that thing within you that you think is missing, which is, am I being a good person or not? And if I say no, I'm not a good person. And so what this ends up doing is women become classic man-pleasers and people-pleasers, and we think that that is the way to get love. We think that it is by being agreeable, Saying yes to everything, never speaking our truth. That's the recipe for being liked. Just give you a quick example. Recently I had a client who reached out and she said, you know, she really wanted to speak to me. And, you know, with my work ethics, I really love being there for my clients as much as I can, as often as I can. And Yet this was a day when my kids were home and they were both sick, and I had a feeling like I was also going to fall sick because they— little kids usually cough on your face and they ensure that you get the same virus that they have. And so with a lot of love, I said to this person, you know, I would love to support you and I cannot do it today. You know, you would need to book a time. And I could see all these feelings come up in me. You know, I If only for a moment, I was like, oh, you know, I'm being a bad person. Can I not, like, just make it happen? Can I not just, like, you know, between my 2 sick children, you know, talk to this client and, you know, be there for her? And I had to stop, and I had to say to myself, you could do this, but you would be abandoning yourself right now. And your emotional needs are important. and they are not below anybody else's. And so this is the call we have to make in life many a times, where we have to be willing to face the discomfort that comes up within us when we say no, when we speak our truth, when we draw our boundaries. Because it's not a linear path, it's not like a straightforward thing. And of course, I also had a part in me that wondered, is my client going to think Sami doesn't care? Is my client going to think Sami's a bad person? And then I was like, no, she's going to see Sami embodies what she teaches. She's going to see that Sami is living what she teaches, and it's not always easy. But it's worth being committed to yourself. Is this landing, ladies? If it's landing, give me a hooray in the chat box.

I think what you've said is so important, and it definitely landed for me and was my biggest learning inside Elevate. So When I did Elevate, which is magical and very personal, as some of you already know, I was dating a guy and I was really excited and I celebrated it at first. And then I became a bit quiet. And Sami was reaching out to me personally because if you don't know, in Elevate that you get total support for 6 months and the coaches are there, although it's a group program to support you personally. So I was getting messages from Sami to say, hey, Natalie, what's going on? And I was avoiding Sami, I've got to be honest. And because I was a little bit ashamed because I was dating this guy and my people-pleasing paralysis was real, you know. So I would do things like I'd go and pick him up late at night, last minute. I'd loan him money. Um, I'd, uh, do things for him, pay for dates, all of that stuff. And all of that was because I had this inner belief. And thankfully, I found that out through Elevate. That, you know, in order for someone to love me, to care about me, to respect me— and that would play out in other areas of my life as well, not just intimate relationships, but especially intimate relationships— I needed to almost prove myself to them and please them so they would. And in actual fact, for me in my circumstance, and I suspect, Sami, in a lot of people's circumstances, the opposite happened. You know, didn't, didn't stay, and, you know, was left healing, but I'm blessed for the lesson. But what, what would you, you say if people are resonating with my story and that they're pleasing in order to get love, but maybe don't recognize that that's what they're doing?

I don't think pleasing somebody is a bad quality in itself. I do want to like qualify that, right? Like, I think we're not talking about becoming selfish people. We're talking about becoming self-honoring people, and there's a difference there. So selfish people only think about themselves. Self-honoring people, on the other hand, think about themselves first and are also thinking about the other person. And so on a given day, when I have bandwidth, I would love to jump on the call with my client and support her, but on the day I don't have bandwidth, That's when I become a self-honoring person. I don't become a pleasing person. So I think it's important to distinguish the difference between selfish and self-honoring, and I think boundaries are about being self-honoring. And the second thing I want to say to that is, again, your belief system is what you're hitting against, Natalie. If you believe that it is through pleasing that you win love, I actually believe it is through pleasing that you lose love, especially if that pleasing is not self-honoring. So if the pleasing is coming from an aligned space, you know, I love being a generous person. I love, you know, showing up in Elevate and doing all these live streams. I love, you know, personally checking on my clients and following their success stories and, you know, personal journeys inside the program. But I give it from a place of gifting this. I don't give it from a place of self-abandonment. And the day I'm tired, the day I don't have bandwidth, you know, I don't take pressure from everybody that, oh, now I must show and do a livestream, otherwise my clients won't love me. You know, I do not abandon myself so that others would love me. I always give generously from a place of self-love first. So if I can love myself first and then pour into others, I believe I'm a far bigger and impactful force in the world. And I think it's the same thing in romantic relationships where this idea that you have to please somebody by not honoring yourself. So that's the nuance here. You can please a man. I mean, it's okay once in a while to do something what only he wants to do. You know, I remember going for a basketball NBA match with Chris, even though NBA is totally not my thing when we were dating, and that was fun. Fine, you know, because I was not doing it from a place of obligation. I was doing it from a place of choice. However, if every weekend my husband started to ask me to go to an NBA match, now I would be doing it out of obligation, and I don't want to do that. So I think the self-honoring— pleasing itself is not the bad thing. I think it's the not honoring of yourself which is the bad thing. And a relationship that is based on not honoring yourself is going to end down the track of resentment very, very quickly. Okay, so sooner or later you will kill the very relationship you want to keep. Do you want to do that? If you don't want to do that, you have to shift out of this man-pleasing by not honoring yourself. And again, I know we're gonna move fast now, uh, to the, you know, the more things we have promised the ladies. But I just wanted to like drop this in today. We had a wonderful woman sign up for Elevate and on the very special offer that, you know, we are opening for all you ladies today on this class for the next 48 hours, the best offer you will see on Elevate to work with me and my team for 6 months. And I was so sad because she got back to me and she said, Sami, I shared it with my mom that I've joined Elevate. And her mom said to her, but why would a woman like you need love coaching? I mean, of course, her mom was trying to be loving about this by saying that, you know, you're so gorgeous, you're so successful. Why would a woman like you need love coaching? And it was like she was like, Sami, I can't believe it that I'm surrounded by people, you know, who don't understand the value of inner work. You know, my mom, I wish she would see that her daughter is still single at 45 years of age. And, you know, instead of shaming me for investing in myself and doing something about it, of course she meant it in a loving way, but it was such a Debbie Downer because she ended up saying, you know, why do you need love coaching? You know, as if we women are praised for hiring an executive coach, we are praised for hiring a physical trainer for losing weight, but the minute, you know, we focus on our inner world and we say this is worth it, this is worth the investment, we are shamed for it by society, even if unknowingly. I mean, of course her mother would not, uh, say this in a malicious way, but like, we should be encouraging and appreciating the courage it takes to look at the state of your heart instead of avoiding it, and to actually do the inner work that is required to make the shifts in your love life. So I just wanted to quickly put that, and let's roll forward.

Brilliant. Such beautiful— well, Transformative distinctions there, Sami. Thank you. And I want to go back a little bit to, um, you was talking about, um, it's not selfish, you know, it's being self-honoring. So that's, I suppose, one of the— I suppose you could call them mistakes we make in our relationship. So what would you say are like the top 3 mistakes that women are making in terms of setting boundaries in their partnerships?

So I think in terms of setting boundaries in your partnerships, the 3 mistakes you're making is number one, you're not speaking your truth. Number two is you're speaking your truth in an accusatory way that is not getting you closer to the very person you like or love. So you have to upgrade your skill set and how you speak the truth. So often we think that just speaking the truth is what we need. No, you have to learn to speak your truth in a way it can be received because you cannot completely overlook the experience you're creating for the person who is receiving your truth. You know, sometimes we'll get a message, you know, from somebody who's feeling. Feeling really urgent, and, you know, their emotions are not wrong, but the way they're expressing themselves, it just lands as attack, it lands as accusation, and it doesn't inspire a very loving response, you know, from the person who's receiving it, right? So accusatory way of speaking. I see this with a lot of our high-achieving clients. And number 3, I think a mistake I see very often is thinking of boundaries in this very regimented, linear kind of way where when I speak a boundary, the other person will just do what I want them to do. Well, if that was going to be the case, then boundaries would be an instrument of controlling the other person. But boundaries are not an instrument of controlling a man. Boundaries are an instrument of authenticity within you. So when you are authentic, you are living from that space of, um, you know, speaking your truth and speaking your truth in a way that the other party can listen, but it doesn't always guarantee that they will do what you want them to do.

And I suppose boundaries are for yourself as much as the other person, aren't they? Because you've got to have a boundary with yourself that I will express my boundaries, if you like.

Yeah, it's almost like a commitment to yourself. It's like your commitment to your authenticity, which is what is going to help you attract a real partner who is a match for who you are.

Brilliant, thank you. So we've talked a lot about boundaries, and I know that boundaries aren't the only thing that you talk about, obviously, to help with relationships. And I've seen you talk about, you know, feminine energy, intimacy fears, communication, understanding men. So what else, you know, would we need to know about this subject?

Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked this question because I think so often when I am teaching like a masterclass where we're just talking one specific topic, I think it can disconnect us from the bigger picture. So I just want to be 100% upfront that while boundaries are a super important part of the equation, you know, they are definitely not the only part of the equation. So if you're a single woman looking to attract an empowered masculine man, or you're a woman in a relationship, looking to upgrade the intimacy, the connection, the passion in your relationship, I have a 6-step love success framework, and those 6 pillars are what is needed to help you get the ultimate goal. It's also what we teach inside Elevate. So I would say, Natalie, if you think it's okay, we'll spend a quick 10 minutes on just like quickly outlining these 10 steps— 6 steps— so that the ladies have an idea of exactly how comprehensive the process is and what exactly we do with them inside Elevate. Okay, so who's excited to like have a quick umbrella view of all the pillars, not just boundaries? If you're excited, give me a quick 1 in the chat box. Let's rain 1s because you're smart women, right? Like, you know, like there's not just boundaries, there's more. So what's more to the picture? So my 6 Pillar Love Success Framework, it's trademarked, which simply means that nobody nobody else in the world can copy my content. Of course they can copy my content, but they can't copy my method. And this is the method that is taught to you inside Elevate in a great amount of detail. So I'm gonna be watchful of the time and quickly now elaborate the 6 pillars. So let's speak with single women and women in relationships simultaneously. So step number 1 of the Love Success Framework is really your mindset and your belief Whatever your mindset or your belief system is, you cannot attract results beyond that. Just listen to this. So if you're a single woman and you believe there are no good men out there, if you believe dating apps suck, if you believe that men don't want to commit, if you believe that men just want sex, or if you're a woman in a relationship and you believe that your man is different, nothing will work on him, or you believe that there is just— you've tried everything and nothing works for your guy. Or you believe that, you know, nothing can save or salvage your relationship, or you believe that none of these tools will speak to your guy because somehow your situation is too specific and too different. These are all belief systems. These are all ways of thinking, and these ways of thinking sabotage us every single day without us even realizing, because your belief system is going to is going to determine the action you take or don't take. And when we have defeatist belief systems, when we have fatalistic belief systems, when deep inside we don't even believe that great love is possible for us, we don't even want to see evidence of how amazing love is available for Beyoncé, for our friends, for, you know, maybe some people in our family who are like leading really happy love lives. We can't look beyond our belief system and our belief system is going to determine whether we take action or not. So very often when women work with us inside Elevate, we're going to investigate their belief system because their belief system has to support their goal. If your goal is to bring in a committed, healthy masculine man, it is not in your favor to say there are no good men out there because how does that support your goal, right? And if you believe that there are no good men out there, you will not even book the call because you're a fatalist. You just don't believe it's going to happen. So we help you become really mindful of what belief systems are sabotaging you, and that's step number 1 of the Love Success Framework. Look at your belief systems, look at your mindset. Step number 2 of the Love Success Framework is loving yourself. You know, this whole class today has been about how you need to value your well-being over and above attraction, and I think this ties in really well to our conversation in pillar 2 of the Love Success Framework, which Worthy from within. You are worthy just by being. You're not worthy because you please. You're not worthy because of what you do. You're not worthy because you make so much money. You're not worthy because you look a certain way. You are worthy because you are worthy. That's it. It's not a conversation. We don't have to like keep talking about this. You just are worthy. God made you worthy. And if there's any part of you that wants to ask, why am I worthy? How am I worthy? Just think of yourself as a baby. and you felt you deserved love as a baby, you smiled at your parents, you're like, Mommy, aren't I cute? Love me. Then why would you ask this question now? You're still the very same being, soul in a physical body, right? You're worthy. You were born worthy. You will be worthy. And it is from this place of worthiness that we attract a great man who sees our worth. And if we don't see our own worth, it will be very difficult to attract somebody who sees our worth. And it sounds deceptively simple. My experience has shown me with our clients, um, you know, they're surgeons, they're doctors, they're very smart women that I work with, and they have attached their concept of worthiness to what they do and achieve. And so it becomes very difficult for them to show up in their love life without having to perform for love. Please, for love. Because it's like, who am I if I'm not doing right? If I'm not pleasing, if I'm not giving, who am I? And is this version of me worthy? So we help you, you know, address this even in marriages, relationships where women are overgiving, this not feeling good enough and this feeling of wanting to be worthy through giving, feeling coming up that is driving behaviors. Now step number 3 is intimacy fears. Most women don't think they have it, and 98% of women have it. Okay, so this might be a term which you will, um, go like, oh, that's not my problem. But let me tell you, it could be the biggest blind spot that is preventing a great guy from coming into your life or from your relationship deepening even further. And intimacy fears are basically the fears of being too close, being seen, fear of being rejected. If you're a single woman, it could look like consciously saying I want love, but subconsciously when it's time to take action, you don't take action. When it's time to face— when it's time to go dating, you don't date. So sabotage— you sabotage yourself because you're afraid. You're afraid of love. You're afraid of success. You know, the fear of success is real. And it's so easy to say we want love, but when love knocks at our door, it brings up all these triggers of, am I going to marry the wrong guy? I don't want to make the same mistake again. I don't want to go through that pain again. Is he gonna hurt me? When is he going to drop the shoe? When is he going to really reveal his colors to me? Am I gonna lose my independence? You know, uh, might as well be better off single. Oh my God, I'll have to sleep with another guy on the same bed. Do I even want this? Um, it's amazing, okay? I work with women every single day who say they want love, and when love shows up. It's scary as hell. And in relationships, you know, it's almost like, he's not perfect, should I divorce him? That's intimacy fear, because intimacy is not perfect. Intimacy is not a linear line. And sometimes with your husband, with your boyfriend, maybe your boyfriend is not ready to commit, maybe he's not ready to give the ring. Now it's bringing up all kinds of desires to run away, break up, instead of just asking for support. I mean, we have so many get the ring success stories inside Elevate Relationships group where instead of breaking up, you know, we help women adopt a different method to showing up in the relationship, have some upfront conversations, and usually they get the ring. And this is a great guy, but it's just the way she's showing up that's not working. And when you shift that, you know, it shifts. So intimacy fears in relationships can be the desire to run away quickly, the sign of conflict, the constant judging and criticism of your guy, you know, feeling like you're falling out of love, feeling like you're getting bored, you know, all of this is what is Elevate module number 3. Now number 4 is rotational dating. I am all about women rotational dating, having multiple options in men. Don't worry, we're very, very traditional and dignified. We're not talking about rotational sleeping, but I do believe it is a very loser strategy to talk to one guy at a time when that guy, one guy you're talking to, is talking to 5 other women. So you have to play the field. There are— I mean, I don't want to get into the entire procedure right now, but basically we recommend not getting quickly exclusive because quick exclusivity is a ticket to quick sex. That's all it is. And so we empower women to date for for husbands, to date for lifelong partners, not just a fling, right? And so for that, we show you how to rotational date in a quality way. Step number 5 is masculine-feminine polarity. Oh my God, the foundation of my work. I could talk about it all day long, but here it is really about understanding that a romantic relationship Where you want to have a man who is romantic, adoring you, pouring into you, giving to you, is a more masculine integrated man. He's not a more feminine integrated man. And these terms are not sexist, right? Both men and women have both masculine and feminine energies. Masculine is the doing, providing, giving, logical, action-taking energy. Feminine is the more being, emotion, body-based energy, receiving energy. And so with my clients, what I found is, you know, one of the core challenges that high-achieving women have is that they often attract very passive, non-effortful men. And this is going to happen when a woman is in her masculine versus her feminine in the relationship, because then based on the law of polarity, which is what sexual attraction in romantic relationships is based on, she's going to attract a man who is more laid back so that he can receive her masculine. Whereas if you really want to attract a more masculine, empowered, ambitious, successful man, or in your marriage or relationship you want to see your husband or partner rise up to the occasion, be more present with the kids, with the chores in the house, helping you, supporting you, pouring into you— I have that, so I know it's possible. And I didn't see that role modeled in my parents' marriage, so I've created did this. It's— I wasn't born with this, okay? If I was born with this, it would be okay if you were jealous, but you don't get to be jealous because I learned this. And this means you can learn this too. And this means that you too can, um, you know, learn the skills to attract a very different reality in your relationship or marriage. So masculine-feminine is the core of my work. Module 5 of Elevate Pillar 5 of the Love Success Framework, and here's where boundaries come in. Okay, so it's so beautiful that today we're going into boundaries, but boundaries is like just one part of pillar number 5, and boundaries are so essential because boundaries are deeply connected with our ability to be in our feminine. It is impossible to surrender to a man's leadership. It is impossible impossible to, you know, be in your feminine and be in receiving energy unless you have boundaries in place, because otherwise you'll feel so vulnerable. You'll be like, okay, I'm receiving and I am surrendering in my feminine, and now he's just gonna walk all over me. Like, how do I prevent myself from being walked all over by toxic men, by narcissistic men, by men who treat women poorly? You know, I'll just be in my feminine And you know, this is the discourse in so many feminine energy courses, YouTube videos that I see today, and it is so damaging to women's self-esteem because they don't talk about power. They only talk about softness. And without power, and I mean internal power in a woman, you know, she's just going to keep attracting men who will, you know, try to buy her out with money, try to spoil her, get sex through her, and then treat her poorly and then replace her with the next the next sexy woman. So you need boundaries, you need to show up in power. And that is what separates my work from so many CEO feminine energy coaches out there, because everybody's talking about feminine energy, but not everybody has, um, you know, nailed what it truly takes to be an ambitious, successful woman with power while embodying your feminine energy, right? And this is the magic formula, so to speak, because it's not about becoming a dumb doll not at all, which is the image that is provoked when we think of feminine energy. But yeah, feminine energy is powerful. It really shifted my dating game. It really shifted, um, you know, my marriage, my relationship. Today I run an 8-figure love coaching brand, a multi-7-figure per year company. I've served 17,000+ customers through my digital programs. And guess what? I still have a husband who sent me flowers today to say good luck on your training, you're gonna be amazing, darling. And I have a husband who's taking me out on a celebration dinner because we've already enrolled, you know, multi-six figures for Elevate, all our clients, you know, that we're going to be serving in the next round, and we're going to be celebrating that. So I think I can show up in my masculine for my business, but I know how to switch into being a And that is truly the secret for high-achieving women to have it all— love and success— by doing the dance of masculine and feminine. And of course, we're gonna give you the nuts and bolts and all the tools you need to, you know, use this in your own life, your own relationship. Okay, yay for signing up for Elevate! Wow, you ladies are so fast. I'm so excited. I'm so busy talking and it's like I'm already signed up. Okay, amazing. The last step, very quickly, because I know we have to get through, um, section 2 and section 3 that we've promised the ladies, um, and I want to be respectful of their time. These are very busy women watching us. So the last is understanding men. Um, men and women are so different, divas. Um, it's sometimes crazy. If you've ever felt like, oh my God, what do men even want? Today they're so in, tomorrow they're so out. Today they said you're the most beautiful woman ever, then you hear nothing from them. Today my husband said he will help me with the kitchen, but then he just went and watched PlayStation. Like, what the fish? So in this case, we have to understand that men and women are very, very different. And this is step number 6 and the final step of the Love Success Framework. And a lot of the problems that we see women Amazing women like you encounter in. Okay, there's somebody in the chat saying, "Where we do we find healthy men?" We will help you with all of this and elevate. Okay, so like I didn't want to like talk about this right now, but because you're asking the question, like elevate is a structured. This is the. 15th edition of the program, so you can imagine how much experience we have running the program. And we help you as a single woman set up your profile, go on the apps, convert to dates, go on first, first quality dates, only dinner dates, no rubbish, non-quality dates. And then we show you how to build the emotional connection, how to communicate, how to be in your feminine, all that jazz. Okay. So So all you have to do is come in and then just allow yourself to be led by the process. Like, you don't have to worry about, oh, do you— can you help me with my dating profile? Or, oh, do you— can you help me know where to meet these good guys? That is what we help you with. Okay, so on that note, Natalie, I'm gonna hand this back to you. Where are we going next?

I'm just gonna say one thing because this is amazing, and I think I'm I mean, I'd buy this for the price of Elevate alone, and I'm so excited to dive into it. There's a couple of people asking, what's the Bumble experiment? I just want you to talk about that quickly. That's part of what you get in Elevate, because that alone is worth coming to join us, I think.

Yeah. So what is the Bumble experiment? Well, I personally went on Tinder and Bumble. Of course, my husband knew I was doing it for educational purposes, and I set up my own profile. chatted up a storm for one week and I got 6 quality dates with lawyers, good-looking, handsome CEOs, successful men, all taking me out on wonderful dinner dates. And then I recorded that entire process, how I did it, and it's part of Elevate.

Very exciting. So, um, at this point I'm just going to take a break because you've talked about the Love Success Framework and I just want to give a quick reminder that if you are really ready to do the work Sami's talking about, to have that guidance through that 6-step process, whether you're single or you're in a relationship and you want to heal that relationship, make sure you book your call. The link has been added in the chat to book your call. So if you're interested and you want to get the amazing bonuses that we're going to tell you about later, you trust me, you're going to want to book your call. Okay. So,

um, and it's like straight to the calendar, right? Like there's no No, straight

to the calendar. No, no messing, no messing. Straight into my diary, and I'll get an email straight away, and I will email you personally. Not a robot for me. I will email you. Okay. Okay. So, because I want to know, I want to help you get over your blocks, and we want to support you as much as we can. However, it's really important to know, if you're having these calls, it's not a magic pill process. Sami, as magical as she is, she's not a fairy. So you have to do the work So book your call, just book your call. So what's your best tip for expressing boundaries to men in a way that they'll hear it?

Yes, so this was section 2 that we promised as part of this training, and I have a very simple formula. I like to call it make a request. So don't think of a boundary as a boundary, think of a boundary as a request. And the request is always formulated positively, which means instead of complaining about what you don't have or what you don't want, speak positively about what you do want. Okay, so just a quick example from Elevate, where one of my single clients was really annoyed when a guy sent her a message saying, hey, why don't we meet at my place and we cook together? And and my client was like, oh my God, all these men just want sex, Sami, like, oh, I'm gonna just tell him off. And I said, no, take a deep breath. What do you want? What do you want? Not what you don't want. What do you want? And she's like, I would just like to have a decent date outside. I was like, okay, we'll say that. And so she ended up sending him a message that said, that would feel good for date 4 or 5. For now, I feel comfortable meeting outside. Is that okay with you. And he came back with, okay, fully okay, let me find options and come back to you. Another example is another client who was not getting the ring and she really wanted the ring. Well, and the BBC and Forbes have called me Get the Ring Coach for a reason, right? Not because the strategies we teach our clients are manipulative or give ultimatums, but they actually come from this place of a woman honoring her well-being. And that's what we're about. Like, a woman who wants the ring or the forever commitment is not a desperate woman. She's actually a woman who knows her worth and who knows that she's deserving of a full commitment versus just breadcrumbs. And so this client was very angry with her boyfriend 5 years into the relationship and didn't have the ring and wanted the ring, was ready to break up, came to us, signed up for Elevate. Inside it, we coached her to first release the resentment, you know, get some positive currency back in the relationship, have some good times together, remind him of the power of, you know, why they're together. And then we helped her, you know, draw boundaries and basically say that, honey, it would feel really good to be a wife at this point, and if that is not something you can offer, then I would— it would break my heart, but I would understand. But I do believe I deserve to know what the plan is now because I want to have a family, and I, if not you, then you know I still want my dream, maybe with somebody else, but I want my dream. You know what he said to her? He said, "Okay," and one month down the line they were on a holiday, and he proposed. And they're the happiest they've ever been. They're married now. I think she's pregnant. She— but we have so many of these stories that I don't think she'll hate me for telling this without her name. She was like, don't tell anyone. But disclaimer, please don't go and use this script on your guy. Your guy, your situation could be completely different. Every case is different, and that's the beauty of Elevate where where we follow your stories. You know, I think one of the most scary things is when a woman is paying $8,000 for group coaching where she's a number in the group. I've been in those groups. That's not what Elevate is. Elevate is highly personalized. We literally know our clients like we know— okay, not like my kids. I mean, my kids are a handful, but we know our clients You know, like we you enter your kitchen and you know where everything is. You know, that's how I treat my clients. I am able to see exactly, you know, what she's doing again. She's doing that thing again. She does. You know, when she's scared, she hides. When she's scared, she avoids. When she's scared, you know, she will go quiet on you. When she's scared, she starts getting into urgency. So that's how well we know our clients, and we follow your stories. So please do not be afraid that you're entering a mass group coaching program where you know there's going to be like robots. thoughts, not caring about you. I haven't built the brand I have built by showing up this way in the world, and I can just say that if you're a woman who's ready to do the work, if you have the courage to show up, you know, this is going to work for you because it is a repeatable process that has shown to work for many, many, many hundreds of women by now.

I love that. Thank you very much, and it's It's so true. It's so true. And I can vouch from personal experience, the personalization that goes into Elevate is unlike anything I've ever seen. And I'm, you know, join us, I don't, but it's true. Okay. So my next question for you is, what are the 3 most empowered boundary communication must-haves? Because we've been talking about how we can, you know, make requests and come from our feminine energy. But how— what would you say are the 3 most powerful?

Okay, so by the way, how is everyone feeling? If you're awake, give me a 1. If you're loving this, give me a 2. Just awake, give me a 1. If you're loving this, give me a 2. And here's what's going to happen in the next 20 minutes. We are aware that time is ticking, so we're going to cover the 3 must-haves. At And for everyone who sticks around, you're getting the PDF gift in the chat box. And of course, I'm going to be opening the doors officially to Elevate, for which I'm super pumped to welcome the new cohort for the next edition of Elevate. So on that note, what are the 3 must-haves for empowered boundary communication? The first and most important thing is your tone of voice. You know, I can No, Natalie, I can't. Or I can say, oh, Natalie, I can't. I'd have loved to. Which tone lands better? Which tone lands and creates greater intimacy? Of course, the tone that is softer. Of course, the tone that is respectful. And of course, the tone that is more friendly. Okay, so men especially—I mean, all your relationships boundaries are for all relationships. But especially with men, a man is listening far more to the tone of your voice than the content, which means that if your tone of voice— and I see this happening so often with married women, women in relationships getting catty, getting snappy, getting bitchy, getting— and I get it, like, you're tired, you're exhausted, you've said the same thing 5 times, right? I get it. However, when you have the the desire to speak in that way, just ask yourself, does it ever bring me results? Like, it never brings me results with my husband. I don't know about you, it never works. It will never work on a healthy man. He's just gonna like move away right now. For everyone who wants to do Elevate, but like you have, you know, you need a different payment plan or you need to contact your bank so that you don't miss the fast action bonuses, don't worry. Just you know talk to Natalie, email us at support@samiwunder.com. You know we got you, we got you. Okay, so I would say tone of voice is very important. Number two, and this is gonna be hard. Who's ready for number two? If you're ready for number two, give me a two in the chat box. Yay! I love it. Oh my god! Everyone is so focused. You are the rad, you ladies. Love it. Okay, this is wild. Look at all the 2s raining. So when we draw boundaries, this is the hardest part, even for me sometimes. You have to let go of their perception of you and who they will think you are in this moment. Sometimes we are just put in situations where the boundaries are not very straightforward. Where no matter what you do, you cannot get it right. Who can resonate with that? Like saying no to a mother who is just always demanding something from you. You just know it's never going to go right. Like no matter how you express it, just the no is the issue. Like, oh, you're not gonna, you're not gonna meet my needs. No, Mama, I am tired today. I can't meet your needs now. this is making you the bad person. So sometimes what's going to happen when we draw boundaries is that no matter how well we frame the boundary, you know, it's a respectful request, it's coming from a place of love, we've managed the tone of voice, we will still be shamed and blamed. We will be judged. How do I know? I know it, right? Like, I think one of the most vulnerable things I've learned to do as a CEO is to let go of a team member that is not performing overwhelming. And I can't ever think of a letting go that has been easy for me, you know, because my team depends on me for their families, and letting somebody go is not easy. So there is just no way for me to make it nice. And then what I have to sit with is their perception of who they think I am, and that is very uncomfortable. And all you want to do is go explain yourself, control the situation, Go like abandon yourself. Maybe I'll just keep them on because you know, just because I don't want to feel bad or just because I want to not let them think that I'm not a good person. But again, you are then abandoning yourself. You are placing your well-being below somebody else's well-being, right? And you have to let go of people's perception of you. You have to let go of men's perception of who they will think you are when you say no. So I remember. my client, she's a badass CEO. You know, sometimes the women I work with, I think they're amazing human beings. And just with a few tweaks that they learn and elevate, they really take off. You know, I think there can be this misconception about inner work that it has to take years and it has to be long and it has to be like this boring process of crying a lot. It could be that for some people, but for a lot of the women who work with us, you know, it's actually a really fun process where you go like, oh my God, I've been doing that thing. I'm gonna stop doing that thing, right? Oh my God, that is so true. I've been feeling that way. I'm gonna stop torturing myself, and I'm gonna start flipping it into reframing it into you know feeling this way about drawing my boundary. And so it's amazing to you know see that just with few tweaks, the fast results you can get. Like you could literally enter Elevate today. So for everybody who signs up today, you get the fast action bonuses. You can start with the curriculum straight away. way. And already with the curriculum, even before the calls start live with us, you could be dating. Like, really, that's how fast the results flow and go, right? So on that note, my client— not to lose that thought— you know, she had such a hard time saying no because she was always worried what her boyfriend will think about that. Can you pick me up from the airport at midnight? Can you, um, you know, I will flirt with this girl and you shouldn't have a problem with it. Like, if you have a problem with it, you're screwed, not me, right? So he would always make her feel so bad. And whenever she, um, you know, raised her voice, whenever she said something, um, um, he would just shame her, say, you don't love me. If you don't love me— like, if you love me, why won't you pick me up from the airport? If you love me, why don't you lend me money? If you love me, if you love me, why don't you do X and Y? And she was so scared of him thinking that she doesn't love him, that she would do all of those things and basically completely self-abandon and just be in that toxic relationship. Well, the good news is she has finally found the courage to let the guy go. However, I do want to make this point, and then we will get to the third one. So we do have quick 10 minutes to invite all the serious, ready women into Elevate. I do want to say that sometimes it can be that you find yourself in an equation with a guy guy where you don't feel like you have the courage to let go. And so I don't want you to feel unsafe. I don't want you to come into Elevate thinking, now these divas are going to make me let go of this guy, because that can be so hard, right? I want to tell you, we are trained experts. You know, I'm CBD verified. We take— we don't do a coercive, forceful approach with you. It's your heart. Like, you will not let go of the person till you are ready to let go of the person. And you know, sometimes relationships can also be saved. Sometimes relationships can be turned around. Sometimes when you show up differently, your partner or the guy you like will start to respond differently to you. So, you know, there are so many constellations. Don't be afraid to come ask for support because you are worried that we'll just tell you to let go of this person. You know, we don't do that. We don't believe that is a professional approach. We believe in meeting our clients where they are and then helping them move forward from that place. Okay, last but not the least, so letting go of controlling somebody else's perception. And number 3 would be your ability to walk away. Okay, now you're smiling, you're giving me that sneaky smile. And the ability to walk away is not literally the— we're not literally asking you to walk away from every guy who breaks a boundary or doesn't respect a boundary or your husband or your boyfriend. But sometimes it could be that, sometimes it could be that, but most of the times it is your ability to draw a consequence, right? Sometimes, um, the ability to walk away represents having the courage to create an experience of loss in a man when he is not honoring your boundary. So a very simple example, straightforward example of that would look like, you know, if you would like to see me this Saturday, can you please let me know in advance? Now, if he hasn't let you know in advance, when he gets back with a plan on the same day, you can say, oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't hear from you as agreed, so I made other plans, but I could still see you next Thursday, right? Now you're creating an intentional experience of loss. So an emotional experience of loss is a consequence, right? Most of us have a hard time drawing consequences, so that's why our boundaries are ineffective. With my husband, for example, when we got engaged, his ex-girlfriend was still writing to him, and it was so annoying because I could just feel like what a great bond they had. And while he was all in with me, there was a part of him that just didn't want to let go of the friendship. And so I had to really draw my boundaries and I had to say, you know, if this friendship continues, here's the ring back to you. I'm not going to be part of this equation. Yeah, and we weren't married then, so of course our relationship was still building. It is the same story with Kate Middleton and Prince William, where Kate Middleton broke up and said, you come back to me when you're not interested in that woman. And of course they had a, you know, a gap where she was also exhibiting the ability to walk away, draw a consequence, create an emotional experience of loss. And usually this courage is A, very attractive to men, B, it shows your self-respect, and C, it shows a man that, you know, he has to take you serious. And I think a lot of women can have shaky energy around the ability to walk away because of what we said right at the beginning of the presentation. We let our attraction drive the equation versus our sense of well-being. And if we can let our sense of well-being drive the equation, decision, like with Kate Middleton, or like with Sami in case of the ex, we will end up in far healthier relationships with men than when we momentarily choose attraction over our well-being. Has this been helping? Give me a yes in the chat box. I am enjoying this so much, and if you would like my support to help you attract a man who's truly good for heart, who's good-looking but also truly good for your heart. And if you would like my help in helping you completely shift the face of your relationship, if it's good right now, we can help you make it incredible. And if it's feeling meh, we can help it make, make it feel really, really good. Then I am thrilled to invite you to join me inside Elevate. So with this, moment I declare the doors to Elevate, my signature love coaching program, 6 months of live intimate group coaching, personalized support for your love lives. I declare it open, and I would love to invite you for the transformation of a lifetime. Now, if you do the work, you are bound to be a success story with us and, you know, join our sprawling number of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of success stories. Now sometimes the work is easy. Some women come in and they just get it. Things just click. They see where they're going wrong. They listen to the advice. They take action. They get results. These are the success stories that come in where we say 6 months, you know, getting married now. 6 months, 1 year, getting engaged, getting pregnant. 6 months, marriage taken back from divorce all the way into you know, bliss. But there could be cases where, you know, you have a hard time doing the work, you don't listen to the advice, you know, you don't really follow the advice where, you know, we say we are here to help you have the love you want if you are ready to do the work. Okay, so it doesn't— it's not a magic pill. It's not a magic pill. It's not— it's like a gym membership. You can't just buy the gym membership and then eat pizza at home and hope to drop the pounds, you have to go to the gym and work out. So Elevate is that emotional gym. Elevate is that, you know, inner work strategy. So Elevate is transformational because, A, of how personalized the support in the program is, B, because we are really into results orientation, which means it's not like therapy, it's not like couples counseling. We're not just about chatting with you, we're actually about empowering you to move forward with very practical, tangible tools that you can start implementing literally from day 1 tonight. Yeah. So on that note, what is it that we get inside Elevate? 3 core things you get inside Elevate. Number 1 is you get my Love Success Framework, 8 modules upgraded constantly, continuously. You will not find this in any of my programs. Elevate is the only place right now where I bring in my new energy, where I bring in my new, you know, self-development ideas where I constantly upgrade the content so that I'm meeting the needs of my clients. So you can imagine running 15— just think about it for a moment, let it land— 15 editions of the program helping ambitious women attract healthy love, helping ambitious women in relationships upgrade, save, heal, reinvigorate their partnerships. Look at the amount of experience we have running this program. Yeah, and that's the kind of safe and solid container you're going to be entering. So here's what you get. Number one, you get six months of live group coaching support with us. Weekly live coaching calls, just like you're talking to us today. You know, woohoo! Woohoo! You can raise your hand. You can ask your questions. Number two, what you get inside is. Facebook group support. Like, this is the most loved part of the program. You had these amazing women, brave women, beautiful women being so vulnerable with each other. It is such a safe, non-catty community because that is one of my core values. I am not a catty person. I am not a judgmental person. I was judged in my childhood, and so I have very hard boundaries around how women interact with each other in my container. And it is only love and it is only safety. Okay? So you do not have to worry about coming in and feeling judged or feeling like people are going to judge you for where you are. No, we're just supportive and loving and we give you kick-ass advice. Sometimes we put a little fire under your bum, give you some tough love, but it's all loving and it's all professional. Okay? Number 3 is what you get inside Elevate. So you get the Love Success Framework, you get the Facebook group support, and you get the weekly live coaching calls. So that's the container. Those 3 things are what you get inside the program, and the standard investment in the program is $8,888. Okay, so this is very small in comparison to what level of intimacy and support and personalized coaching you get in the program. The number of calls, the number of questions, you know, our Facebook group is completely moderated. My one of my coaches or myself are going to be hanging out with you literally every single day. I can't remember the last time a question was not answered on the Facebook community. Okay, so that's the level of support you're entering, and I do have an amazing offer for you with some good news and some bad news. So let's give the bad news first, or what do we say? Give me a quick comment in the chat box. What do you want first, the good news or the bad news? So bad, say bad first. Good, say good first. Okay, bad is winning. So let's give you the bad news. The bad news is that Elevate is permanently increasing its investment. Okay, so you will never see Elevate again at the current price that I'm going to quote to you. Okay. And that's because we want to make sure that it doesn't become a mass group coaching program. We want to keep it intimate and And to keep it intimate, we need a high-functioning, high-quality team of experts on the program. And that is why we are permanently increasing the investment in Elevate, because I would rather serve 100 clients with all I have to give than try to serve 1,000 women and not do a good job at it. Okay, so that is my value system. And so the bad news is that Elevate is permanently increasing its investment. However, when you sign up now, Now you get to make a savings of €1,899, so nearly €2,000, where your price is only €6,999. Okay, so one-time payment of €6,999, or you can also do monthly installments. We have various payment plans. You can pay over 6 months, you can pay over 9 months, or you can pay over 12 months. Okay, so all these payment plans exist. You can pay with PayPal, you can pay with credit card, you can pay with bank transfer. Okay, if you want to pay with bank transfer, you just have to email us at support@samiwunder.com and we will send you the bank account details of the company where you can make the transfer. And remember, you can sign up today and get started with the curriculum today. You don't have to wait another minute to start prioritizing this aspect of your life. I truly believe that, you know, money and wealth and abundance is really like the third level of priority for me in my life. I have learned as a mother, as a CEO, as a wealthy woman, you know, the first priority is always my health, the second priority is always my relationships, and it is the third priority is, you know, wealth, money, and all those things. And when I look at the world, I see a lot of focus on money generation And people are so eagerly investing in business and let's make more money, but they're ignoring their health and they're ignoring their relationships. And this is the dynamic I wish to see changed. And this is my invitation to you all, because I truly believe that if you focus on this aspect of your life, all other aspects of your life will flourish. Because when you come back home to a person who loves you you, it doubles your power. My husband's love doubles my power. My stability, uh, at home doubles my power. And I want that for every woman. I want that for you. So on that note, who is joining us in Elevate? Let us know so we can celebrate you. Um, we have lots of Elevate clients, um, on the training sharing their experience. Thank you, divas, for all your love. I I love you so much. And on that note, are there any questions I can answer for those of you who are seriously considering?

Um, we did have a question to say. Um, let me just find it, one second. Basically, it was, you talk a lot about Elevate being for ambitious women. What— I've got my thoughts on this, but what if you're not an ambitious woman? about still suitable?

Okay, that's a great question because sometimes forget that, you know, if you're an ambitious woman who doesn't want love, you're not our sole client. And if you are not an ambitious woman who wants love, you are our sole client. So what this is about is not about ambition, it's about wanting love and willing to do the work. So I would like to reframe that every woman who wants love and has a desire for grand love is welcome into my container. And I attract— I have to say, I attract very successful women, but at the same time, I attract school teachers, primary school teachers who have become our success stories from Elevate. I can remember Tiffany at the top of my head. said, um, I have worked with nurses, many lawyers, many single mothers who are assistants, who are, you know, helping, uh, you know, doing other kinds of, uh, you know, jobs, maybe sometimes 2 jobs, you know. I think it is so important for me to say this: every woman who believes in love, and every woman who wants love, and every woman who wants to elevate her sense of self-esteem and worth and the kind of experiences she attracts with men and in her relationships is welcome into my container with all my love.

Venus says thank you. She's a teacher, which is interesting. I mentioned that example. Okay, so I'm going to ask you if you don't mind, because I think it's relevant for everyone who might not be able to answer a question. And if you do have questions about Elevate, the best way you can do that, by the way, is book a call. call, and I'm happy to answer any questions you may have because unfortunately due to time we're not going to be able to answer everyone's questions on this workshop.

So we are dropping the link directly to Elevate in the chat box as well. You know, support@samiwunder is also there. Send me a DM on Instagram, send me a message, like just reach out, talk to us. There is— we do not believe in pressure. We really believe that we want to attract aligned women that we can actually help because that's what sustains our brand and results sustain our brand. So what's the question?

So the first common question is really is like, you know, I don't know about a group program and you've addressed this a little bit, but, you know, I don't know whether I'm prepared to be vulnerable. Why? What about one-to-one?

Okay, so you can— I think this is another great question. So sometimes we can have this limiting belief that private coaching Is a better investment than group coaching? Now, it depends on who you're working with is going to be my answer. So I've had clients who have worked for the same amount of investment with a private dating coach, got no results from it, kept trying more of the same coaching, went into another private coaching dating coach. Did more coaching, didn't get results, finally came to Elevate group coaching because that was the investment level they were ready to work at. And within a year, her name is Sally, you know, she attracted a great partner, got engaged, couldn't believe her luck and was like, what was I doing for the last 2 years? So I think sometimes we can have this limiting belief that private coaching is better than group coaching. But my answer to that is it depends on who you're working working with. Look at their results. Do they have success stories? Do they have experience? Are they just dancing on Instagram? With respect, of course, I respect everybody's profession, but I think we are living in a world where everybody calls themselves an expert, and I think that is so dangerous. So it depends on who you're working with, and if they have a track record of results, then absolutely, I think private coaching can be beneficial over and above group coaching. But for somebody like me, I don't need to sit with you for 8 hours, right, to help you solve your problem. You could talk to somebody like me, and I will get to the root of what's going on within 15 minutes. And my clients find that far more valuable. That's why they stay in Elevate, not just join once, but they stay because they can see that what Sami says is so pointed. Now, of course, sometimes it can take time for it to integrate. Sometimes it can take time for that to land. And sometimes we have to find that place where we're ready to really face the truth that is facing us. But this is what an expert is for, and you work with experts and you pay the price you pay to work with experts, not because they need 8 hours to solve your problem, but they actually need 15.

Yes, just going to address a quick question. So we did promise you if you stay to the end of this webinar, and we have gone a little bit past our time, so we're going to drop the link in Now for the free powerful scripts. So for those of you that have got to shoot off, you can grab it. Also, in addition, there have been a lot of these questions: is there a replay? Yes.

Why would we not give you a replay? We want you to benefit from this. I don't know where this fear of not sending a replay has come from. Like, who's doing this to you? Of course you're busy and you'll, you'll watch it again, maybe, you know. So no, of course there is a replay. Don't worry at

And also, you know, Sami and her team are so smart that not only have you got the replay, you also will have the option to download that amazing script that you wanna take a look at from that page too. So fear ye not, we've got you covered. Yeah. As, as is Sami's style, she's got your back. So, so my very last question, and we're, we're close on this one, I think, is a common question is, What are your success rates? Does this really work?

Oh, my success rate is 100%. If you do the work, 100%. And if you don't do the work and you don't follow the advice and you're not willing to practice what we're teaching, 0%. I love

that. It's so true. And I think so many people are looking for, like, we live in a world of we want results now and we want this magic thing to happen, even with diet. I'll take that pill and I'll lose. No, it doesn't work that way.

And you know, I'm most wary of, you know, anybody who— I think it's such a disempowered model to come into a coaching container thinking somebody's going to save your life. Nobody's going to save your life. We're going to give you the repeatable process that has worked for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of women, and we're going to help you implement it, but you still have to implement implement it. And that is a responsibility that a grown-up should be ready to take if they want to get results in any area of their life. You want to get a promotion in your job, you got to do stuff for it. You want to get— you want to drop some pounds, you got to work out, you got to eat differently. Like, the ability to make that change comes from within you. And of course, we work as your champions, as your catalysts. We help you see your blind spots. We, you know, champion, uh, follow you, we support you, we love you, we hold you. And I believe one of my clients, Lisa, who is in Elevate, she's a leadership success coach for business entrepreneurs, a 7-figure business owner herself. She said to me, Sami, for the love, compassion, and intimacy you ladies provide inside Elevate, you should be charging 4 times more. So I'm happy, very happy that we're permanently increasing the price of Elevate because it had started to feel misaligned. Felt times, like, people don't understand that you could, you could change your coach and you could go to another group program. I cannot find a container as intimate, loving, responsive, and present as Elevate. And then yes, you have to do the work, but we're here for you. And, you know, when we talk to our clients, so many of them say, you know, I just gonna— I'm just gonna stay in Elevate for the community, which is so amazing because in my life, you know, I get so busy. Once I step out, I stop dating. Once I step out, my relationship goes down the same path, you know. And for what we pay, like, the results we get, they're just so no-brainer. Like, it's just a no-brainer. And the biggest step is when new clients come in because they still don't know what to expect. But once people come in, like, they just, they don't want to leave. So we love that.

Yeah. And I think it's, for me, the most magical part, and I know you said this earlier, is the Facebook group because it's not only supportive, but it changes your perception. So you, you come into Elevate with this perception of what relationships and love is. And then when you're in there, you're like, oh, that's how it works. And I think that's, that was the biggest shift for me is my perception of, you know, what is actually possible versus what I was believing is possible because I'm seeing it day in, day out. Yeah, yeah. You know, you can't help but change that perception. So thank you very much, everyone, for attending. That's the last of our questions, unfortunately. But if you do have questions, book your call.

Yes, book your call. Join us. Oh my God, Natalie, we didn't talk about the fast action bonuses. Oh my God. For the next 48 hours.

I'm so excited.

We're so excited and we're enjoying this so much. Only for the next 48 hours, you don't just get all the 3 elements of Elevate, the group coaching, the Facebook group support, the curriculum, you also get $5,000 worth more of goodies. The most favorite goodie you get right now when you join within the next 48 hours is number one, you get a VIP one-on-one session with my senior trained relationship coach. She's basically helping you, you know, identify your blind spots and make a game plan for your personalized situation on how to best use Elevate over the next 6 months. This is priceless. And so many women join Elevate, miss the bonus, and then ask if they can book the call with the coach and then end up paying $1,000 for that call. So I would really recommend not waiting for doors to close, not waiting for that urgency. If you know you want in, this is the best offer of the program. It's also going to help you get the most bang for your buck, you know, because you'll have private attention right at the start with a coach guiding you on how to make the best use of the program. Number 2 best fast action bonus is my Speak to His Heart Advanced Relationships and Dating Communication Program, giving you lots and lots of scripts on how to talk to men and express yourself in a way men will listen. And if you already have this program, no worries, we're going to replace it for you with a similar program, with a program that is of similar value and that is advanced. Okay, so do not about, you know, I have Speak Too Hard now, what do I do? Or I have Mind and Money, what do I do? Like, we have so many goodies. We will just give you more useful advanced content that will serve you in your Elevate journey. And last but not the least, when you take fast action, of course you make massive savings right now, which is nearly $2,000 slash euros. Now, dollars are not our preferred currency. I pay my taxes in Germany, nearly 50% tax in euros. But for the rare cases where, you know, you're coming from the USA and you would really appreciate, you know, buying the program in US dollars, we will make that exception for you. So just reach out to us, book your call, click like email support@samiwunder.com, message me. There are so many ways to reach out, but these fast action bonuses are just for the next 48 hours. So it is really time to take action. And your life can change. I want to finish with this: from today to tomorrow, okay? Within— by the end of this year, it could look completely different. And you have to allow yourself to dream that big, okay? Because I've seen it happen for our clients again and again, and most of them say, I can't believe where I am right now. Oh my God, I was struggling so much 7 months ago. Look where I am today. I've got a ring on my finger. Oh my God, He's going to propose. I can't believe this. So we have big dreams for you, and all we want is that you dream big for yourself too, and you take the step knowing that the investment you will make is not a handbag or a holiday, but it's an investment that will never leave you. It will last you a lifetime because the skills you learn in the program, nobody can take that away from you. Just like you can't go back to being a 7-year-old girl even if you want to. The growth in Elevate is an elevation of who you are, and once you become that woman, you cannot go back. You simply cannot go back. So this work is going to stay with you for the rest of your life, and I can't wait to welcome you inside the program. I can't wait to support you, and lots of love. Thank you for joining me. It has been such a delight and joy and privilege to be here with all of you today. Take care and goodbye.