Men go CRAZY for women who do these 4 things
In this 20‑minute YouTube coaching video, relationship expert Sami Wunder outlines four specific behaviors women can adopt to increase sexual desire and testosterone in men without relying on revealing clothing. She first warns that deep, long emotional conversations are not a sexual turn‑on for men, distinguishing emotional attraction from sexual tension. The four behaviors are: (1) consistently offering genuine positive energy and praise, positioning the woman as a source of affirmation that makes the man feel like a winner; (2) deliberately triggering a man’s innate protective instincts by acknowledging and verbally appreciating moments when he keeps her safe; (3) encouraging men to invest effort, time, money, or service, because men value what they work for, and the woman should welcome and thank these micro‑commitments; and (4) demonstrating personal value through clear boundaries, occasional “pain” or consequences, and authentic self‑advocacy, which signals high self‑worth and makes the man want to protect and pursue her. Throughout, Wunder references evolutionary psychology, provides concrete phrasing examples, and promotes her “Leap Into Love” coaching program. The video ends with a call to like, subscribe, and comment on which behaviors viewers already practice.
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Today, we're talking about the 4 behaviors a woman is displaying when she is turning a man on. Now, whether you are freshly in love with a man, whether you've loved him for years, whether you just like a man and would like him to have the hots for you, this video is going to help you. I'm going to show you how you can create sexual tension and sexual desire in a man without feeling the pressure to wear skimpy clothes. Now, this is not to say that when it comes to sexual tension and attraction, your dress sense, your body, your figure, your looks are not important. They are important, and I always encourage my clients to dress well, to do their best, to show up as their best self. But you know what? Attracting a man sexually and turning a man on is not just about how you look. There is an art to it, and there are triggers and instincts that you can awaken in men just by the way you show up and just by the words you use around them. So watch this video right till the end, because it gets better and better as we get to the last point. So even before jumping into the 4 behaviors that will lead a man to feeling the hots for you, sexually desiring you, feeling turned on by you, let's talk about first what does not turn And what does not turn on a man— ta-da!— is long conversations about feelings. I don't know about you, but most of my clients that I serve and help to attract healthy, empowered men come back and tell me that they feel connection with a guy when they can tell him anything under the sun. And oh my God, how turning on it is when you can just talk to a man all night, tell him everything, and have those Deep, authentic, long conversations. Well, red alert! That's how you get turned on as a woman. That's not how a man gets sexually turned on. And indeed, if you are the prettiest-looking woman in the room, and you like him, and he likes you, he will stick around and talk to you for 8 hours at that party, but that does not mean that you are turning him on sexually. That does not mean that you're raising his testosterone for you, and that does not mean that he will pursue and chase you for a long-term relationship. So be careful with oversharing, is what I'm saying. And remember that just because you bond and you connect through long, deep emotional conversations, it doesn't mean that a man is experiencing it the same way. Now, also, before we dive into the 4 behaviors, I want to make another caveat. In any long-term relationship, you need 2 elements: You need the element of friendship, which is basically emotional attraction, and you need the element of sexual tension and sexual desire and lots of testosterone, which is what this video is about. So this video is not going to be dealing with the emotional attraction part with men. It's going to be dealing with how to make him have more testosterone for you, how to make him have more desire for you, how to get him to be turned on in your presence, And what are the behaviors you can do without having to wear skimpy clothes? So the first way a woman turns a man on sexually is when she is a source of positive energy and praise in his life. Now, our grandmothers have been telling us this for centuries. Men's egos are fragile. Make sure to massage them. Make sure to make men feel good around you. And yet, today's smart, successful, strong, ambitious woman, who is my client that I am serving and helping to attract healthy, empowered men, tells me all the time, oh my God, Sami, I'm not going to stick up to men and I'm not going to massage their egos. I will only give a compliment if I really feel it's genuine. I want to say 2 things to this. The first is that, yes, we never ever want you to be disingenuous around your compliments. We never ever want you to not be authentic in your praise of a man. And at the same time, the second thing I want to say to you is that, Sometimes, when we carry this attitude that, I'm not going to compliment him till he does something amazing, what happens is that we are waiting and waiting till he does something amazing, where we feel like he finally deserves the compliment, or he finally deserves the praise. And so we might go on date number 1, date number 2, or if we're in a relationship, days pass before He does something glorious, which we finally are able to compliment. And so my invitation is to let go of this idea that you only compliment a man, or praise a man, or gift your positive energy to a man when he does something outstanding. What if you embodied the attitude that no matter which man you meet, no matter where you go, there is always something that you can find in a guy that you're spending time with, that you like, that you love, that you can find to compliment him about. If you find nothing to compliment a man about, you might want to also ask yourself, why am I with him? Because it is so important to understand male psychology here. Men want to feel like winners around women. And the more a man is in your presence and he feels like a winner, and he feels like he's getting things right, and he feels like you're happy in his presence, and he feels like you are respecting him and admiring him for what he brings to the table for you, that's a major turn-on. And trust me, there is no competition for a woman from younger women and prettier women and hotter women and all of that jazz, when a woman knows how to capitalize on this. Now, of course, this doesn't mean that you have to be disingenuous. This doesn't mean you have to lie. This doesn't mean you have to be inauthentic. Authentic, but it does mean that you can embody this positive energy around men and just decide that if you like a man, if you love a man, you're going to be honest about your admiration for him. There's a lot of this Feminine Energy coaching that is going on in the world today, where women are being asked to lean back. Lean back is good in action, which is you don't want to be calling, texting, chasing men. However, You don't have to lean back when it comes to gifting a man your positive emotional energy, gifting a man your positive emotional input. And that comes through praising a man, complimenting a man, admiring a man. And the best compliments are the ones that are made for something that he did, because he knows he put in the effort, he knows he earned that. And then when you smile about that, you laugh about that, you say, This felt really good. Thank you so much for doing this for me. It makes me happy. It makes me feel special. It makes me feel all jumpy-dancy. This is Feminine Feeling communication. And when you go in there with your positive emotions and your compliments, and it's for something he did, you are such a turn-on to this man. And so many women are not utilizing this. So many women are doing overemphasis on looks, Botox, fillers, plastic surgery, you name it. I've done none of that and I don't plan to. I don't judge any woman who does that, by the way, but I'm okay with who I am and I believe I'm deserving of love the way I am. And that is the message I want all women to carry. So long story short, it's good to pay emphasis to your looks, but there is so much other stuff and skills that you can learn to make men feel good around you, that will make them turned on by you, and that will actually make him want to keep coming back for you. Because think of it this way: you want to be around friends that make you feel good, right? You want to be around people that make you feel good. What if you could be that person in a man's life? What if, when he comes close to you and next to you, you are such a gush of positive energy and compliments and high vibes about life, And him, that he just gets that dopamine hit from you, and he just gets that testosterone shot from you. And then, of course, he's going to want to keep coming back for more. So now let's look at behavior number 2 a woman is displaying when she is turning a man on. She is pushing his buttons and triggering his buttons of safety and protection. So let's talk about this. In evolutionary psychology, it is very clear that it is the man's role— bigger muscular composition, higher testosterone, fighting hormone— to look after the female, to protect the female. Now, don't get triggered by this. This is not to say that the woman is the weaker sex at all. You're sitting in front of a very successful, very well-educated woman. But this is to say that, in evolution, we have these instincts, just like as women, our bodies are for childbirth and breastfeeding. Men's bodies are designed for protecting the female and protecting the family when the woman is pregnant, when the woman is in childbirth and breastfeeding. She's vulnerable, she cannot run around and run away from a lion. So the male is evolutionarily designed to protect the female. And so, even in the current modern dating landscape, when you can be around a man and trigger his protection and protecting you and keeping his safe instincts, he is going to treat you better than any other woman around him, and he's going to remember that feeling that you activated in him. So an example of this could be, let's say this is a guy you're just seeing and you're going on dates with him, and maybe you all went out one night dancing, and then there was this weird guy in the club who got really touchy and feely and creepy around you, and then this guy was the one that was looking after you, so to speak, and Taking care of you. And so a great message to send the next morning would be, I felt so safe in your presence. Thank you for protecting me from that creepy man all night. Here's the thing— again, sounds deceptively simple, but the truth is that, as women, we often think these things in our head, we often feel these feelings in our body, but we don't always say them. We don't always communicate them to the man. And what I'm teaching you here is that that communication is important. And you know what? That communication, when you make that communication with a man, especially if it's like a growing connection, it's gonna make you feel on the edge. It's gonna feel very vulnerable because it is a vulnerable way of talking. It is a very feminine way of talking. But guess what? In my program, Leap Into Love, I talk about this in great detail. It's basically my advanced signature program helping strong, successful women attract healthy, empowered men in a year's time. You can check out the program in the link description below. Vulnerability around men is really the key to creating that turn-on, that sexual desire. And I don't mean like over-vulnerability. I don't mean like breaking apart in front of a man. I don't mean Constantly crying in front of a man, or being a doormat in front of a man, or being a damsel in distress. I just mean high-value vulnerability. I mean, that guy was taking care of you all night. All you have to do is acknowledge that and say, it made me feel safe. It made me feel cared for. I felt so safe in your company. Thank you for looking after me. Thank you for protecting me all night from that creepy man. And that is Such a turn-on, because that is what he's looking to experience. And this is also true for women in relationships and married ladies. If you have a man in your life that you love, your husband, your boyfriend, and he looks after you— this may not have to be a club, this could just be a really crowded street, and he holds your hand and he tucks you in and he gets you through the crowd and the stampede or whatever it is— let him know how good that felt. Let him know how safe you felt with him. Hold his hand and Look him in the eye and let him know. This is going to shoot up his testosterone levels. This is going to shoot up his desire for you sexually, because there is nothing more than a man wants to feel like he's capable around a female. He's capable around the woman whose affection and attention he also wants to have. And as I keep saying, it doesn't mean that you have to already be in a relationship with a man in order to use these tools. If you like a man right now and things are still developing and you to have more and more influence and power in the connection, trigger his desire to keep you safe. Trigger his desire to protect you. And whenever you find a moment where you can appreciate that, do it verbally. The number 3 behavior women are displaying when they're turning a man on is when they are getting him to invest in them. Now, listen closely. Men literally do not value what they're not working for. And so, if you want a man to be turned on by you, you have to let him invest in you. And I don't just mean this emotionally invest in you, which is, of course, listening to your challenges, solving problems for you. I also mean letting him do physical acts of service for you so that he gets invested in you. You see, men value what they work for. And so if you're very easy and you never need anything and you never let him do anything for you, then he doesn't value what he has not worked for. So you need to make men work. And you don't have to feel bad about this. You don't have to feel like a B around this. You don't have to feel like you're selfish or you're rude or you're demanding. You just have to think of it from an evolutionary psychology perspective. You can tell yourself, I am literally helping him bond with me. I am literally helping him desire me. I'm literally helping him feel the hots and the passion for me when I let him work for me. So if you want a man to desire you sexually, do not make his life easy. By saying, do not make his life easy, I definitely do not mean make his life hard. Oh my God, It's a pity we have to qualify so much in today's dating world, but I am not talking about being a difficult woman. I am not talking about being a nagging woman. I'm not talking about being an arrogant, entitled woman. I am not talking about being rude, being disruptive, being abrupt, being combative. All I am saying is that let him make the effort for you. Don't stop him from doing that. So when I say don't make his life easy, All I'm saying is, if he wants to pick you up, let him drive, come over, pick you up. If he wants to drop you off, say, yes, sure, thank you. That would feel good. Most modern independent women of today go, no, I got this. No, I'll just get a cab. No, I'll just get a taxi. Just let him. Just let him do for you. Let him invest in you. The more he invests in you, literally every micro-commitment that a man makes in you, is through his effort for you. So every dollar he spends on you is a micro-commitment. Every piece of effort he makes for you is a micro-commitment. Every time he spends his emotional energy on you, trying to help you fix a problem or solve a problem or be there with you on the phone or be there with you on the date, is a micro-commitment. And your job is to say yes to that. Yes, yes, give it to me. I love that. Thank you so much. Knowing that deep inside, This is how he feels turned on. He feels turned on when he sees you as valuable, he works for you, and then he wins with you. That's the process. You see, he's not going to feel turned on by you if he did nothing for you and you just keep praising him for nothing. That's not what we're talking about. But when he thinks you're valuable and then he wants to invest in you and he wants to give you something, and then you let him, and then you thank him, and then you glow, that's when he is winning, and so are you. And that's when his sexual desire for you is going to ramp up. We're on the last behavior that women are displaying when they are turning men on. This is all about value demonstration to men. So I talk about this in great detail in Leap Into Love. It's running on a massive promotional offer right now. It's my most advanced signature program for single women looking to attract the one, the best I have ever created. 40 hours of content, lifetime access, live coaching available right now with my senior coaches. So make sure you check out the link. But this whole idea of value demonstration is such a turn-on for men. Now, in the beginning of the video, I said men are not turned on by oversharing. Men are not turned on by lots of deep emotional conversations with a woman that last hours. But men are turned on by you when you demonstrate value. What is demonstrating value? Demonstrating value is defined as your ability to challenge a man, your ability to hold your boundaries, and your ability to give him consequences and a little bit of pain every once in a while. Basically, demonstrating value is you putting your heart first in a dating or relationship equation, where you are not afraid of how a man feels. You are more concerned with how your heart feels, and you lead with your heart. So an example of this would be, my husband was taking me on a date, and then I put on these really nice shoes, and we went out, and then he was like, oh, it's just 20 minutes away. And I just stopped, like, in the middle of the road, and I said, I'm not walking in those high heels for 20 minutes. He's like, are you sure? And I was like— and so I demonstrated value. I put my heart first. He really wanted to walk. I mean, it was a beautiful stretch to the restaurant with a lake on one side and gorgeous boulevard of trees on the other. But I was like, no, I'm not gonna put myself through this. And so I demonstrated value. I was not afraid to cause a little bit of pain, cause a little bit of Bad moment, till he ordered a taxi for us. And, you know, I just sat down on the bench and I said, I'm not walking this way. So every once in a while, demonstrating value like this, not to create drama on purpose, or not to on purpose be difficult, but this is all about honoring your heart. And when you honor your heart and you're not afraid to say no, and you're not afraid to say, that works for me, this doesn't work for me, I'm not going to walk in these heels, Can we please get a taxi? Because it sounds simple again, but trust me, there are so many of you who are afraid of voicing yourself. There are so many of you who are afraid of coming across as too high maintenance. Now, what is important with guys, though, is, of course, you have to watch out for your tone. You don't want to be disrespectful. You don't want to make him wrong. You just want to make it about yourself. You just want to say, I'm not going to be able to walk in these heels. Can we please get a taxi? You can be sweet, you can be warm, and at the same time, you can demonstrate your value by speaking Speaking your truth, saying no where it's genuine, being authentic about what works for you and what doesn't work for you. Basically, in doing all of this, what you're demonstrating is your value. You know your value, and you're not going to be afraid of pissing off a man or worried about what he thinks about you. You're going to be more obsessed with what you are going through yourself, and are you feeling good? Are you in your state of well-being around him or not? When women are able to their boundaries this way without being afraid of men's anger or men's frustration or men's rejection or men's coldness as a return, this is when you are such a rock star. You are such a sexual turn-on for a man. So these are the 4 behaviors that you are displaying as a woman when you're turning a man on. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, Please show me your love. Give this video a like, subscribe to my channel. I am going to be reading all the comments below this video, so stop and tell me which of these behaviors are you already displaying? What was your breakthrough moment from this video? I love hearing back from all of you, and I will see you next week again with a brand new video. Thanks for sticking around. I love you ladies, absolutely so, so much.
