In this video, relationship coach Sami Wunder warns women against entering "convincing mode" with men—a behavior she frames as masculine energy that erodes a woman's power in the relationship equation. She explains that when a woman tries to persuade a man to date, commit, propose, or overcome his doubts, she signals desperation and begging, which disempowers her feminine presence. Drawing on examples from her Leap Into Love and Elevate programs, she illustrates how women often respond to a man's expressed doubts (e.g., distance, financial concerns, timing) by offering solutions, negotiating logistics, or urging commitment, thereby shifting into a convincing stance. Wunder argues that this approach rarely works with "empowered masculine" men, who act according to their own desire rather than external persuasion. Instead, she advocates embodying feminine energy—being receptive, inspiring, and allowing the man to choose freely. She ties this principle to her Love Success Framework and Building Emotional Attraction training, emphasizing that women who stay in their feminine vibe and inspire men become far more powerful and attractive. The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to avoid convincing, maintain feminine power, and engage with her content.
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You never ever want to convince a man to be with you, to commit to you, or to choose you, or to work on the relationship. If you do this, if you go into convincing mode around men, you are going to lose all your power in the equation. And here's why. The person who is convincing the opposite party about saving the relationship, working on the relationship, trying to convince the guy, you know, why the relationship is going to work or why you and him are such a great match is really the person who wants the relationship more. And when men get this intuitive hit that you want the relationship or the equation to work out with him more than he does, this is where you lose all your power as a feminine woman. Now, I've seen so many amazing women who are doing the Sami Wunder work, and they are learning everything about the power of feminine energy embodiment in attracting empowered masculine men. And yet I see these amazing women make this super simple and yet highly nuanced mistake around convincing guys to be with them, or convincing guys to come to them, or convincing guys to find a to somehow make the relationship work. So convincing is, in a nutshell, a very masculine quality. You know, it's about making the other person, making the guy change his mind or change his opinion about something. And so often when we really like a man, when we really want to see the relationship work out, when we really want the ring, the proposal, when we really want the date to work out, we will find ourselves leave our Feminine Energy and go into Convincing Mode, which is a Masculine Energy. Now, usually, we go into Convincing Mode because the guy is expressing some kind of doubt or some kind of slack in his efforts towards you. Maybe he's having second thoughts about the relationship. Maybe he is having doubts and insecurities around proposing to you. Mm-hmm. Maybe he's telling you that he's not ready for the commitment right now because his life is too busy or his job demands so much out of him. Maybe he's telling you that he can't drive to you because he's really tired at the end of the day after work, and so you guys can't see each other. There could be so many reasons men can give you where they are expressing their own doubt and their own lack of effort in the equation, but that will activate your insecurities. And put you in the masculine energy convincing mode, because you want that guy, you want that person, you want that date to work out, you want to get the ring, you want to have the marriage, you want to have the commitment. And so we have to be so watchful when men are expressing doubts about the equation, and that triggers our own fears and insecurities, and we want that love so bad, and we want that man so bad, and we want it to work out so bad. That without realizing, so many times we fall into convincing mode. So let's look at some examples of what I see happening with my clients, some stories from my Leap Into Love program. So one of my clients showed me the text messages she exchanged with a man where he said after the first date, I had the best evening with you. You are such an attractive woman. We should do this again. And then they were texting the whole week and he didn't ask her Firstly, she went into masculine energy and she said, so when are you taking me out again? And he was like, yeah, it would be so good to see you, but I just wish you lived closer. It would make the relationship so much easier. And while I do want to drive to you once in a while, I think this long-distance thing is not really going to work. It's 2 hours drive one way for me, 2 hours drive back. And my client just straightaway went into convincing mode. She said, well, you don't have to drive. I get The traffic is really heavy between Brussels and Germany, but maybe you can take the tram, or maybe you can take the train. I think when somebody wants somebody and when you've met the right person, it's never too far away. And when I read those texts on the Leap Into Love Facebook group, I was like, oh, sweet girl, you don't do this. You do not try to convince a man to drive to you. You do not try to find solutions for him to wear his big boy panties And come to you. And so it's so innocent, and most women go into convincing mode accidentally. I don't think anybody tries to do it on purpose. But if you can resonate with this story, and if you can think of an example in your own dating life, or maybe in your own relationship or marriage, where you went into convincing mode because you really wanted to get that outcome— she really wanted to have the date, she really liked the guy, she found him really attractive, but he was giving excuses— And Instead of just saying, "Okay, I got it," she went into convincing mode. Now, another example would be from an Elevate client, Elise, and she really wanted to get the ring. Ta-da! Ta-da! And so she and her partner would just have these constant conversations where her partner would give all these excuses about why he can't propose. You know, like he has to get his finances together, and he has to make sure that his you know job and promotions are in the. Maybe he even wants to buy an apartment before he can give her the ring. And Elise would sit there and she would try to show him reason. She would try to convince him that, you know, now is the right time for us to move forward. Now is the right time for you to give me the ring, and then we can, you know, start doing our family planning. And how the commitment has nothing to do with, you know, the job situation and the money situation, because they were already living together and not a lot would change. And when she joined ELEVATE, we just had to do a big facepalm, give her a hug, and say, girl, stop doing this. Stop being in convincing mode. This is one of the most unattractive things we can do as women. And as I said at the start of the video, it completely removes your power from the equation, because whether you like it or you don't, the vibe that you're giving is one of begging. It really is. I know it's a harsh word to use, but it's a begging vibe. A convincing vibe is a begging vibe, and it's a vibe that's saying, you know, I really want you to do this. I really want to see you on the date. I really want you to give me the ring, and so I'm going to convince you with all my masculine energy and change your mind and change your opinion and make you do what I want to do. Now, here's the thing. It Rarely works. It rarely ever works on the right men. On the empowered masculine men, convincing mode is not going to work because these men do what they want to do. And so, if they're expressing that you're too far away, if they're expressing that they're not in the right place in life to make a commitment to you, if they're expressing that they don't want to have kids, if they're expressing that they're not ready for a full-throttle commitment, Then you trying to get into convincing mode is not going to change their mind. It's not going to change his mind. You know what changes a man's mind? When he is inspired to do things differently. And this is so interesting because in one of my programs, Building Emotional Attraction, I actually show you how to inspire deep emotional connection with men so that they are, of their own accord and out of their own desire, wanting to be with you, wanting to drive to you, wanting to give you the ring, wanting to commit to you. I think there is such a misbelief in our world today when it comes to understanding masculine and feminine energies. I think so many women just don't understand that you cannot, you simply cannot, talk and convince your way into a man's heart. You cannot talk and convince your way into a commitment. You cannot talk and convince your way into getting a man you like to see you. It doesn't work that way in the world of empowered masculine men. They do what they want to do. Honestly, when I look at, in my 10 years of experience of working as a dating and relationship coach, and I look at the thousands of success stories, results, marriages, proposals, engagements, happy relationships that have emerged from my work and my Love Success Framework, which I, by the way, teach in Leap Into Love, teach in Elevate, I noticed that the women who truly win with men are the women who are embodied in their feminine energy. And convincing and rescuing and solution-providing and changing a man's mind, none of those things are feminine energy. They're All masculine energy. So here's the thing I want to leave you with: you are so much more powerful around a guy when he is the one choosing you, and he is the one thinking to himself that, I made the decision to be with this woman because I wanted to. You must always make men feel like it was Their decision to be with you, to commit to you, to come to you, to drive to you, to be around you. And never ever should a man around you feel that he's doing something— giving you the ring, driving to you, being with you— because you convinced or nagged him into it. Now, once you get this principle, you will be so powerful around men because men will simply not want to leave you. They would want to be around you, and they will always think that You know, I'm with this woman because I want to be with her, and that makes you super duper powerful. On that note, if this was helpful, give me a quick like, leave me a comment, subscribe to my channel. I hope you enjoyed this video, and I love you so much. Bye!
