Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Never pit your man against his mother

27 Nov 2024 · 1 min

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In this relationship‑advice monologue, Sami Wunder discusses the common conflict that arises when a partner’s mother becomes overly involved in the couple’s life. She warns against the temptation to criticize the mother‑in‑law to the partner, explaining that such tactics only increase the partner’s anxiety and resentment, ultimately harming the relationship. Instead, she advocates for setting clear, healthy boundaries: encouraging the partner to spend time with his mother independently, and avoiding attempts to force the partner to choose between his spouse and his mother. The core message is that creating a dynamic where the partner feels forced to side against his mother is counterproductive and leads to lasting relational damage.

Chapters

Never pit him against his mother. A lot of my clients have issues with their mother-in-laws. She's so controlling, so interfering, and constantly comes over to tell us how to raise the kids. I get it that it's not easy, but there are other ways to deal with this situation. Can you draw your healthy boundaries? Can you ask your man to sort of go do his own time with his mom instead of bringing you along? You will never win if you pit him against his mother. It's so tempting to criticize his mother to him and tell him how horrible she is. It's never going to work. It's just going to make him more anxious, make him hate you. It never ends well. So stop creating that dynamic in your relationship, even if it is very tempting.