Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Obsessing over him?

2 Jun 2024 · 0 min

Watch on YouTube

0:25

In this brief monologue, Sami Wunder explains how the psychological "wound of abandonment" can ignite obsessive thoughts and actions toward a romantic interest. When a person fears being left—manifested as anxiety over not receiving texts or calls—they may experience an intense need to survive the perceived loss. This fear drives compulsive behaviors such as repeatedly checking the partner’s Instagram or WhatsApp, constantly monitoring their social media activity, and persistently texting or calling in an effort to keep the relationship alive. The segment frames these actions as attempts to avoid the pain of abandonment rather than healthy relationship dynamics.

When you are feeling obsessive about somebody, the wound of abandonment is triggered. This wound of abandonment is, you're not texting me, you're not calling me, are you going to leave me? If you're going to leave me, I will not be able to survive it. I need you. This can result in obsessively checking their Instagram or WhatsApp, obsessively following what they're posting on social media, and even obsessively pursuing the guy, texting, calling, and trying to make the relationship work.