Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Over giving to men out of love?

11 Sept 2025 · 1 min

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In this segment, relationship coach Sami Wunder explains that overgiving to a male partner—giving freely and abundantly out of love—creates a dynamic where the partner takes the giver for granted. She argues this isn’t usually intentional; rather, it stems from a human tendency to undervalue what is readily available and to value scarcity. To counteract being taken for granted, she advises reducing the amount of giving, thereby restoring perceived value and encouraging the partner to appreciate what is offered.

Chapters

If you're being taken for granted, reduce what you're giving to a man. Overgiving to men out of love is always going to end up causing this dynamic where you get taken for granted. There are so many things, good things, high-value things, that we take for granted. It is in human nature to take for granted what is freely available, what is easily available, and what is not scarce. So the issue is that most men, your partner, the man you're seeing, it's not like he's taking you for granted on purpose. Most men are doing it because it's human nature to do it. Whatever is freely, readily available, accessible, we will not value it as much as we value something that is scarce or rare.