Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Over sharing about your feelings with him? Don't!

16 Apr 2025 · 1 min

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In this segment, relationship coach Sami Wunder cautions women against assuming that long, deep emotional conversations with a man indicate sexual attraction or a commitment to a long‑term relationship. She explains that while women often feel a strong connection when they can share everything with a partner, men typically do not become sexually aroused by such emotional intimacy. A man may still talk for many hours without it meaning he is turned on, pursuing, or planning a future together. Wunder advises women to be mindful of oversharing, recognizing that emotional bonding does not necessarily translate into the same experience for a man, and to set healthier communication boundaries in dating.

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And what does not turn on a man is long conversations about feelings. My clients tell me that they feel connection with a guy when they can tell him anything under the sun, and how turning on it is when you can just talk to a man all night, tell him everything, and have those deep, authentic, long conversations. Well, that's how you get turned on as a woman. That's not how a man gets sexually turned on. If he likes you, he will stick around and talk to you for 8 hours, but that does not mean that you are turning him on sexually. That does not mean that you're raising his testosterone for you, and that does not mean that he will pursue and chase you for a long-term relationship. Be careful with oversharing. Just because you bond and you connect through long, deep emotional conversations, it doesn't mean that a man is experiencing it the same way.