Q & A with Sami Wunder

And we are live! Welcome everyone who is joining me on this live Q&A session. This is your host, love and relationship coach Sami Wunder, checking in. And most of you know me, but for those of you who are connecting with me for the first time ever, just a quick introduction. My name is Sami and I help Powerful, high-achieving women attract and keep the love of their life. And welcome everybody who's joining. Make sure you say hi in the comments. If you're watching the replay, make sure you're saying hi as well, so that I know you got, you got this, and you're watching this. And I am so excited for today's session, because what we're gonna do is, we are going to answer your questions, So all the questions, yummy, juicy, hundreds of questions that I have received in my inbox yesterday are the questions I am going to be answering live for you, and I am really excited. And while Facebook gives you a notification and says, Sami's live, and you can take that moment to come here and join me, I would like to quickly share just very briefly my story and how I got to doing what I do today very, very well. So, So again, most of you know, but I am— I was the classic strong and successful woman who was very good at work, very good at her career. You know, I was a very young and successful consultant for the United Nations, and I was making good money, and I was pretty, and I was smart, and I was a good person, but somehow the love life bit would never work out for me. And that is what got me interested in understanding relationships and men and attraction, because for the life of it, I couldn't understand why, as a good woman, smart woman, intelligent woman, sensitive woman, I was not able to get my relationships right. And man after man would either fizzle out on me or tell me that I was a nice girl, but he wasn't feeling it for me. And I also saw a lot of women who just sort of had their men on their fingertips, and they made relationships look really easy. And so I was really curious to understand that what is it that these women know? What are the secrets that these women know that I do not know? And of course, there's always that moment of transformation in our lives where, you know, we should be working on ourselves and we know, you know, we know we have been avoiding, you know, looking at our inner world. We know we have, we have an issue. We know we are not doing something right. But sometimes we have to reach that point of pain in our lives where we really decide to make a change and we really decide to make it, you know, get up, wake up, invest in ourselves, do something about it. And for me, that moment actually happened when I was dumped by a man who I thought was my forever guy. And I thought life was set, he's gonna be the one, this is amazing. And then of course I got dumped and he told me I was a great girl but he couldn't give me what I want. So that was really like my moment of transformation which got me learning about Feminine energy, attraction, understanding men. And of course, sitting here today, as you know, I have successfully turned it around for myself, and I'm a happily married woman, adored by my husband, wonderful husband. I am also a mother, so I have gone through the full circle of dating, attracting, marriage, building intimacy, and of course, what it takes to hold on to it and keep it and keep the attraction alive and keep the love alive. I have gone through the full circle, and basically, that's what I help women do, and that's my big why, because I went through those struggles myself. I don't want you to go through those struggles, and I know that it doesn't have to take years and years of heartbreak and trial and error and figuring out, but you can actually learn the skills of relationship that work to keep wonderful men in your life and keep them bonded to you, attracted to you, and of course, feel loved and fulfilled in their presence. My clients, the kind of results they get, they go from feeling like they don't matter, they go from feeling underconfident, they go from feeling not worthy to feeling like they are the prize in love, which is what my philosophy is. They are the prize in love. They go from not— they go from being a lot in their masculine energy, pushing, pushing energy, into their leaned-back, relaxed feminine energy, they get results like manifesting extreme abundance. You know, one of my mastermind clients, Petra, she actually negotiated a 50% raise while being in the mastermind in her salary, and she's a really high-level employee in a top real estate investment company. Because when we women, we connect with our power and we connect with our worthiness, and we start to realize from deep inside, how worthy we are of the good things in life. And that includes money, that includes abundance, but more than anything, as a love and relationship coach, for me it includes a woman recognizing that she is deserving of the complete package from a man of great, great, amazing love. That includes support, that includes affection, that includes great sex, but that also includes, you know, happiness for your success, supporting you in your success and being happy for you. And, you know, when, when you rise and shine. So I help strong and successful women like myself, you know, who are intelligent, smart, and who have all this stuff in their life figured out except their love life, find that fulfilling relationship and create a deeply connected, a deeply bonded, intimate relationship with a man. And I know it's possible, ladies, because I have created it for myself, and over 106 of my clients have gone from being disgruntled, sad, cynical, skeptical about love and men, to being engaged in the last 2 years alone. So that is the kind of transformation we're talking. Of course, the ring is just the symbol of the ultimate commitment, but anything before that, you know, the power it takes, the attraction it takes, the, the, you know, the, the woman, the heart energy of the feminine woman, all of that stuff When a woman steps into her power, that is when the transformation happens. And of course, the ring is the end ultimate result of it, which is amazing. 106 of my clients have gotten there. But even women who don't want the ring, women who want to feel better, feel more valuable, feel more worthy in their lives, these are the women I help. And when you transform, everything transforms. Your love life, your career, your business, everything transforms. So I am really excited today to have this live Q&A with you, and I see a lot of you have joined us live. So I think it's now time to kick off with the live questions. I'm gonna do my best to answer as many as I can. We've received over what, like my assistant would know, over 100 questions or something. So we are going to take up as many as we can, and hopefully you are gonna be able to learn also from the other experiences. experiences of other women and the women I give the answers to. So even if your question doesn't come up, hopefully you're gonna still get a lot of value out of learning from the questions I answer for the other ladies. So let's get kickstarted, right? Okay, so Julie's question— Julie's single, and Julie says, Sami, where is the best place to find good men who want to have a relationship that leads to marriage? Now, a very simple answer to this, Julie. Good men are everywhere, just like bad men are everywhere. Just like bad men are online and offline, good men are online and offline. They are everywhere, which means that if you are not seeing good men, and if you're not attracting good men, and if you are not observing good men, the problem is not that they don't exist. The problem really is that you're not able to spot them. So what we need to do here is to step up your ability in spotting the good men. And many times, the men who look really charming and who dress really well and who are really good-looking and can crack the best jokes are not really the gentlemen that would qualify as good men for long-term partnership. It's not that good-looking men are not capable of being good partners. It's just that if you're only looking at the world and looking at men through the filter of how someone looks, and if he looks good enough, then he's a good person that you can give a chance to. And if he doesn't exactly look like how you would imagine him to look, then you sort of reject him. I think that is where we need to hone your ability to recognize the good men, because they're everywhere. When I step out, even as a married woman, I am able to spot so many good men. They open doors for me, they pull out chairs for me, they offer to help me, they always say, you first, when I enter the lift. So they are everywhere, and it's really about honing your capacity to recognize that goodness in men and to be able to give a man credit for that good behavior that he is giving to you. So good men are everywhere. What we have to hone up, if you're a single woman, what we want you to hone up is your ability to spot them and to recognize them and to be grateful for the good treatment that they give you, because a lot of the times, single women find good men boring. So I actually tell my private clients or my mastermind clients, ladies, today you're going to go out into the world and you're just going to observe the gentlemen. You're just going to observe which man is treating you well, even if he has a little bit of a belly, even if he has, you know, he's not dressed to the spot, to the tee, you know, you're going to give him a chance and you're going to notice him. So, good men are everywhere. They're online. So many of my clients have found their husbands online and met their matches online. And they are offline, just like bad men are online and offline. And what we have to do is tune in into our ability to recognize the good men. Right? So, if you're not experiencing them, and if you're not attracting them, it means you're not able to recognize them. And the way to recognize them is to start noticing the gentlemanly behaviors men do towards you, because those are the masculine energy behaviors, and those are the kind of men you want to attract into your experience, who will be the men with you and around you. All right, I hope that helps, and I hope that it helps everyone else who is single and finds it hard to attract good men, because really, ladies, they're everywhere. And this is also about the abundance mindset. If you really want something, if you want to manifest that good man in your life, the absolute requirement is to first believe that he exists and he's there, and he's there in abundance. Like, those kind of men are there in abundance, right? So I hope that helps you, Julie, and I hope you start spotting the amazing men in your life. Maybe they're already there in your life and you're still not able to recognize them and see them for it. So start honing up that observation capacity, that capacity to spot those good men, because they're everywhere. All right, the next question is a sad one because it is actually one of my clients who I coached privately and who was part of my inner circle. And I will not like to take her name here, but she's going through a really hard time. So, my darling, your husband is cheating on you and you have left him. Let's call this person Mary. Okay, Mary, just let's call her Mary. So Mary, your husband is cheating on you and you have decided to leave him, which is a very high-value thing to do. I really respect that. But your question is that you still have a child with him. And you're pregnant right now, and you're in a very vulnerable phase. And you are asking me, your question was, Sammy, how do I, you know, maintain my high vibration in this scenario where, you know, I, I have broken up with him, we have separated, and I'm still pregnant? And all I wanted from him was some support with the child financially and of course emotionally, you know, going for doctor checkups, etc. And your issue is that in the beginning he was caring and asking about you, but now he's not even doing that. So your question is, how do you handle this situation going forward? I'm really sorry this is happening. I know you deserve better, but I also think by now, after working with me, you know you deserve better. So well done on leaving this man behind. And what I want to point out to you here is that even though you say you are not emotionally looking for anything from him, I have a feeling I am sensing some expectation energy still there. So you said to him you would like him to be involved with the baby, you know, upbringing of the baby and the birth of the baby. And again, he says he would do it and he doesn't do it, right? He's not showing up in the way he said he would. But over time, you have come to know this man this way. You, Mary, you have come to know that he's not someone on whose word word you can rely. You have come to know that every time you have depended on this person, he has let you down. And so I really want you to give up the expectation around this man that he will be there for you in this phase of your life and he will be there for you for your baby. So you really want to let go of this waiting energy and this expectation energy where you are expecting him to step up and ask you, how are you? Or expecting him to ask you, when is the baby checkup? And what I would do here is really be businesslike, really be in this clean, neutral energy where I would just, you know, talk to him like I would talk to a colleague and say, hey, my next checkup is then and then, I would appreciate if you would be there. Or if you have some, you know, financial needs, I would really recommend getting a lawyer and regulating it that way instead of, you know, expecting and leaning back and trying to feel not emotional about it but feel still feeling bad because this man has let you down so many times. I think it's time to stop giving him so many chances, and it's time to be really businesslike and really in your negotiating space with him versus, yeah, hoping that he will wake up and realize, you know, that you are the mother of his child, etc. I think this time it's really time to set those boundaries right, and if needed, involve a lawyer and get those financial commitments that you want him to make towards the baby straight. I send you so much love, my darling. You are so brave and good luck and let us know if you need any more support. We are really here for you. Alright, now the next question is from Cosetta. Cosetta says, Sami, thank you so much for this opportunity. I am married and I have a lovely husband. I am 39 and he's 30. We've been married for 3 and a half years. Sometimes we have to work at home together and it causes fights. For example, yesterday I had to spend many hours working and at the same time felt like making love with him and having some intimacy. So I took advantage of the moment when he was minding his own business to quickly cook our meals for the next days. And that meant that I was in a lot of masculine energy. And he did approach me and he wanted to make love, but I felt really uncomfortable in that moment, even though I wanted the same, but I was so disconnected with my body and my head was so busy that I actually started a fight with him instead of making love to him. So my question is, Sami, how do I manage work and intimacy with my husband being at home? Should I plan in advance the time for the couple and the time for work? Doesn't it kill attraction and spontaneity? Okay, so that's a great question, and Cosetta, here's the answer. Yes, you want to plan in that time for intimacy. You are almost 4 years married, and if you are, you know, if your husband is at home and you're working and he's working and both of you are in your masculine energy, this is going to, this is going to kill your feminine-turned-on-ness, if that makes sense. Makes sense, okay? Because when you're in work mode, you're in masculine energy, and you're in your head. And when you're in your head, you're automatically, by definition, disconnected with your body. And when you're disconnected with your body, and someone comes close to you and wants to be intimate with you, your instant reaction is going to be to want to shut down, to want to close off, right? Because you're too much in your head, and that's your instinctive reaction. You definitely want to plan in the time, and more than planning in the time for making love or for intimacy, I think what you need to do is to stop from, you know, switch from your masculine to your feminine before you go into that physical intimacy space. Because here's the thing, if you're in your head and you're all busy, neither you nor your partner is going to enjoy it. You nor your partner are going to experience that passion, are going to experience that connection. So it is of utmost importance that you first come into your feminine space, you first come into your body, you first come into your yumminess before you have a physical interaction. And no, that doesn't mean that you can never be spontaneous. You can be spontaneous on a day when You both are relaxed and you're not working hard. But in a moment when you are working hard, either you want to plan your intimacy time, or as I said before, what you want to do is you want to stop and switch from masculine to feminine. So it basically means telling your man when he approaches you, honey, this would feel so good, but can I please first relax a bit? I'm really tired. I'm really in my head right now. And that's completely fine. Men are human beings too. They get it. They get it that, you know, you can't switch from being completely in your head to being a goddess in just one moment. But you can share that, and then you can go do something nice and sensual for yourself. Anything that brings you back into your body. Could be a meditation, could be a warm bath, you know, with bubbles and spray some scent. Basically, re-invoke your sensuality, re-invoke your touch with your body before you go into that intimate interaction with your man. He's going to feel the difference, because when you're in that feminine space and you're in touch with your body and you're feeling good and you're feeling beautiful and you're feeling turned on, he's going to feel so much more turned on and he's going to feel so much inspired to move towards you. Versus if you just try to switch from masculine and, you know, just go into that interaction, physical interaction, where you're not turned on and you're still in your head and you're still angry about something. So always making sure that before we go into that physical space or physical interaction with our partners, we are first connected to our own body and we're first connected to our own pleasure, because that is what a man evokes in us, right? He just touches us in a way that We can feel the pleasure. So if we're disconnected, it is not going to be a great experience for either one of us. So try this. Try— if you have very busy days, definitely try time— plan in time for intimacy, plan in time for fun and play. It doesn't just always have to be sex. It can just be time to connect and time to play, and laptops off and devices off. Otherwise, if it's— otherwise, if If it's not planned in and he approaches you spontaneously, or you approach him, you are up for it, then just make sure that you are first connected with your body space and not in your headspace. Do those little rituals of self-care and smelling good and putting on a nice dress and being in your feminine before you go into that space, in order to really bring in that connection with your man. All right. So, I hope that was helpful, Corsetta. And I talk about this in detail in my program, advanced program for women in relationships, that is called Soulmates Forever. You can check it out on my website, www.samiwunder.com. So, definitely check that out. It's my advanced work for women who are married and women in relationships, and I teach you all these juicy tips on how to be more of an invitation in your marriage to your man, or even if you're in a committed relationship and you want to keep the spark alive, and you want to keep his energy and attention always flowing towards you. So you definitely want to check Soulmates Forever out, and I'll get my assistant to leave a link to that, okay? Because it's really juicy. It's really juicy stuff that I give there, and I actually reveal the secrets that keep my marriage alive. You know, ladies, Marriage is not— and intimate relationships are not a red carpet walk daily, right? They have their ups and downs, and they have their roller coaster moments, and you need to have the skills to stay connected with your partner in those harder moments, because it's not possible that it's always going to be looking like the Cannes red carpet, and you're always going to be dressed in Louis Vuitton, and you're always going to be sipping champagne. Yeah, there are definitely a lot of moments like that, and I'm grateful for those moments in my marriage as well. But there are also moments that are very real, and they're imperfect, and we are human beings. And, you know, some days you're bored, some days you're tired, some days you're working too much, right? So, Soulmates Forever is the program that is going to give you all the juicy tidbits into how I keep my marriage alive and how so many of my clients have actually revived their marriages and their relationships just using this self-study program. And you can instantly download it, so it's not that you need to talk to me about it. So you can just go to the website and download it. If you need more attention and private help, I will tell you about my Inner Circle group coaching program for married women and women in relationships. But Cosette, that was an amazing question, so real, and I hope my answer helped you. All right, so let's look at the next question. The next question is from Stephanie. So she says, how do you save a marriage that started with lies and deception from the other person? He said he isn't the man he said he was. Well, this is a really short question to a really complex situation, and my really short answer to that complex situation is that this marriage can only last if the partner is willing to take responsibility. So he has to be willing to take responsibility for his lies, for his deception, and And he has to be willing to work on himself. He has to be willing to invest in himself. He has to be willing to go to a counselor, coach, therapist, whatever works for him, and he has to make it right. And you, on your part, you have to have the willingness to forgive him, right? So when he's— if he has that willingness to work on himself and if you have that willingness to forgive him, that is the only way it can work. Otherwise, this marriage will not work because trust Love, honesty, transparency— these are the very fundamental values of marriage, and if they are eroded right from the start, then it's hard to revive something like that, especially if the other partner doesn't want to work on himself. Okay, so I'm sorry you're in this situation, Stephanie. I don't have much more information to help you out here, but I hope that helps. Basically, he has to take responsibility and he has to go work on himself. So I'm going to take a second I'm gonna take a sip here. And the next question is from Gianni. Gianni says, Sami, I have a 4-year-old stepson who stays with us quite often, anywhere from 2 to 4 days a week. My husband is generally on top of all his needs, which is great. Does it count as giving to my husband when I care for my stepson, or is it more like contributing to a family as a whole? I guess I need a concrete distinction between giving in the relationship and being a team as a couple. I find that, that I do all the chores unless I ask my husband to do something specifically, not his laundry or meals. I have been an overgiver in the past and I want to make sure I'm not going overboard this time. All right, so I think I don't have the info here that I need To really decipher what's going on in your marriage, in your relationship. But here are some of the things I'm gonna say, Gianni. Are you doing what you're doing happily? Right. So if you are doing what you're doing happily, then that's fine. When you are overgiving, you are gonna start feeling tired, you're gonna start feeling exhausted, you're gonna feel resentful, you're gonna feel angry. Okay, so all those signs are— those feelings in our body are a sign that we are overgiving. So really check in with yourself. Um, how am I feeling when I'm doing all this? That's actually the first sign to, to, to gauge, are we in overgiving energy or not? Okay, so are you doing the things that you're doing because you think you should be doing them out of obligation, or are you doing them because it It makes you happy, and it's no big deal for you. So the energy behind the giving and the energy behind how much you're doing is really the energy that you should check in with and see how you're feeling, versus in your head thinking, because I'm a wife, I should do this, this, this, this, this. No, that's not the energy the high-value woman carries. The high-value woman always checks in with herself and says, okay, today I am feeling really tired, so I'm not going Can we please order from the outside? So she's always coming from this place of first honoring what feels good to her and first honoring what her desires are. So check with yourself if you're doing the stuff you're doing out of obligation energy, or if the energy around it is clean. Now, the second thing is you say you do almost all the stuff in the house except his laundry and meals. Well, I believe we have to talk more about this because again, I would want a man to be more participating in the household. So I'm not sure why you're doing everything so much in the household. I think that's where your doubt is also coming in. Caring for your stepson is absolutely fine. That's a little child there and we definitely don't want to, you know, yeah, disturb that dynamic. You want to be loving and giving to a child again, but if your husband is If he's leading there, then let him lead. And what you can do is really fill in the gaps, but I wouldn't mix the child with this. I think the child should not be part of the equation at all, and he should get all the love from both sides, from his dad and from you as the stepmother as well. So absolutely don't— let's not bring the child into the equation at all. But let's see if we are overdoing things somewhere. And, um, I, I don't really have all the information here, but The final answer to whether or not you're in overgiving energy is really dependent on a lot of the other aspects in the relationship, like what is his energy overall towards you, how's your sex life, what is the financial sharing and responsibility that is in equation right now. So all of that goes into defining whether or not you are overgiving and whether or not you're in masculine energy. Reach out to me, I'm more than happy to help you. I, I remember we spoke about the Inner Circle for Married Women, my group coaching program, which is 6 months long, uh, for $3K, which is a great investment, um, very, very affordable. Reach out because I feel you are going to be supremely helped, um, in that program because it's only for married women, it's only for women in relationships. So we are very, very specific and we talk about issues like control And we talk about issues like communication, and we talk about issues like sex and spark and boundaries, but in marriage and in committed relationships, which can often look very different to what I would teach a client in the dating scenario or in the, you know, single scenario, right? So look at that program and reach out to me because I think it will highly benefit you. We also have amazing installments, really accessible, affordable installments. So I would really recommend that program to you. I hope it was helpful, Jenny. It's really hard to say whether a woman is overgiving or not unless I have information on all other aspects of the relationship, because it's really a sum total. It's not like I can just look at one aspect and then, you know, give a comment like that. So I would need more information there. Alright, so the next question is from One day she says, hi Sami, thank you so much for your time and giving this us— giving us this opportunity. My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. Saturday I went to a wedding and got a bit drunk, which he doesn't like. I can't remember all the details, but we got into some sort of an argument. On Sunday I reached out to apologize via phone and via text. He has not responded, and I'm supposed to leave Friday to visit him in London for his birthday. What should I do at this point? Thank you for all you do. You have empowered me to become such a confident woman. Lisa? Lisa? No, it's Yovande. I think Lisa is the next question. Okay, so Yovande, this is tricky, and just like I told Gianni, I don't have enough information right now from your letter to give you A final answer, but I'm gonna give you a quick assessment of the kind of information I need in this scenario. How long have you been together? What is the nature of your entire relationship? Is his energy always coming to you? Is he the caring, giving, providing, loving boyfriend in every other aspect, and this is the first time this has happened? Or is this a pattern? Does he often get angry on the things you do, or when you go out and have fun, he gets insecure? Or is he controlling on other aspects of your life as well? How much you party, what you look like, who you go out with? So again, darling, I don't have enough information in this letter that you have sent me, but my instinctive, intuitive reaction here would be that if he doesn't get back to you by Friday when you have to leave, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't go. I mean, I teach high value, right? And if someone ignores a genuine apology from my side, I would just not fly to London to be with him on his birthday. But that's me, right? That's what I stand for. That's the woman I am. That's the woman I teach my clients to be. But that would be the high value thing to do, because he's not your husband. He's not your partner. He's your boyfriend. And you're still in that phase of deciding whether he's your long-term partner. He's still in that phase of deciding whether you're his long-term partner. And so, this is the phase where you have to absolutely stick on to your high-value behaviors. You have to absolutely stick on to being that woman that he would keep coming for. And I also find— I don't know if you've done any of my programs. If you haven't, you really want to do them, because I find that apologizing via phone and then via text is a bit too much. Also because I find that, you know, if men get angry with what we do, uh, you know, if men get angry with what we do, it's sometimes we really have to— we have to see if we are really doing something wrong. I imagine that you're, you know, you got a bit drunk, but like, you're probably a young woman. If you got a bit drunk, it's not a big If you knew how to behave yourself and you just had a few drinks and then you danced and then you came back home like a normal girl would, with your boundaries and integrity intact, then this is something that I find a bit controlling. And a lot of the times, men can be a bit insecure around these things. And then the way to deal with it is not to constantly apologize, but to actually say, hey honey, you know, I don't feel like I owe you an apology here. I didn't do anything wrong. Wrong, and I just went and had some fun with my friends. It was a wedding. Everybody was having, uh, everybody was having, you know, a Prosecco or a champagne. And I don't feel— I don't want to feel like I have to constantly apologize for something so small and innocent like this, right? So I feel like, yeah, one day you have to work with my diva tools a bit. Check out Leap Into Love. Check out, you know, high value programs that I teach, everything available on my website, because I feel like this is going a little bit into the direction of man-pleasing and losing your ground. And yeah, let's see if he replies, that's fine, but if he doesn't reply, I wouldn't go. Long story short. All right, so the next question is from Lisa, as I said, and Lisa says, Sami, I wanted to ask about future fakers, right? I— she— a friend, as a friend was talking about this a few days ago. She had met him. She— you— future fakers are men who promise things too soon. Do we just look at their actions over time, or do we manifest our beliefs so if we don't believe this, we don't attract them? Okay, little confusing, but here's the thing. There are all kinds of people in the world. There are people There are people who are good, there are people who are bad, there are people who will go too fast, there are people who will chicken out, there are people who will lie, there are people who are honest. And we— all kinds of people come into our experience, right? So what is important is that you know what you stand for. What is important is that you know what principles you stand for. What is important is that you know your You have your values, you have your boundaries, you have, you know, you know what kind of man you're looking for, and you stick to that. And you know that I teach you how to pace men out, and I teach you not to get overattached too quickly. I also teach you that words don't count. What counts is action, action, action from men. And so, it doesn't matter whether a man is a future faker or not. Frankly, you can't tell without just observing. You have to observe over time. Right? You have to not fall for the words, but that's something you know from my work. You teach, you get to be taught from my work. It's all action, right? And you don't have to hold it against the men if they're being extra nice, and you don't have to hold it against the men if their words are really sweet. You can laugh about it with them. You can enjoy it in the moment. What is important is that you don't fall for it, and you really look out for action over a long period of time. All right, so if they are really just future fakers, they're gonna fall off. They're just, they're just gonna fall off over time, and you won't even notice that because they don't mean what they're saying. So over time, their actions are gonna fizzle out. The calls are gonna reduce, the texts are gonna reduce, the dates are gonna reduce. So it's not something that you have to figure out in your head if a man is a future faker or not. It's something that It's gonna reveal itself over time. All right, so I have so many more questions left. There is no way, there is no way I'm gonna be able to finish this. But what I will do, but what I will do here is that I will— So I've done a batch of questions and I have another batch of questions ready to be answered. But very quickly, now that so many of you are here, before I answer the next batch of questions, and we have a lot of juicy questions around marriage and relationships, right? So many of my clients come to me and they ask me, Sami, do you also help women who are in relationships if they're having a hard time with their man, or if they are fighting, or if they are having arguments with their man, or if they are not feeling close to their man, or, you know, communication has died, sex has died? Of course I help with that. It's just that there are so many more single women in the world. So a lot of my messaging goes to the single women because, you know, they're just, they're just outnumbering the number of women who are in relationships and who are married, right? So I definitely help with that. In fact, Soulmates Forever is the program, advanced program. It's super affordable, like it's dirt cheap, really. You can go on the website, you can download it. So, I definitely help with that. And I am a married woman, so I live this work, right? I understand that walking intimacy, walking through intimacy, is not an easy task. It's like a tightrope of emotions, triggers. I always say that in the presence of love, which is our men, our worst demons get activated. Our worst demons get activated. Because it's only in intimacy, it's only when you interact with someone so closely, and when you live with someone 24/7, you see their imperfections, you see their bad sides, you see their lazy sides, you see their weak sides, right? And navigating all of that and keeping the attraction alive and keeping the relationship spark alive, or, you know, not letting a relationship fall into boredom and actually Actually letting it move forward all the way to the ring. These are definitely the skills I teach, and I want to tell you all about my Inner Circle program because it's one of the most affordable ways of working with me. I offer it to both single women and women in relationships, and we have separate groups. The women in relationships and married women, they get very specific, focused marriage relationship It also includes women who want to get to the ring, are in a relationship. And then, of course, we have the Inner Circle Group Coaching Program for single women. And that's where we discuss all the, you know, where are the good men, and date like a diva, and how do you, you know, what do you do in this situation, or how do you, you know, how do you interact with men in that situation. So that's where all the single problems are collected. And basically, it's It's an ever-rolling, evergreen program. You can join it anytime, and you get it right now. The investment for 6 months of support with me is only €3K, so €3,000, and you also have installment plans there, beautiful installment plans that make it really, really easy to join. We have installment plans, and we already have a lot of women in the singles group, and we also have many women in the married group. Every month there, I teach you my concepts. I teach you feminine. I teach you boundaries. I teach you power. I teach you intimacy. I teach you sex and diva and all of that stuff. There's active video workshops like this, like the one where you and I are now interacting, twice a month with me. You also get support from my coaches in the group, in the Facebook group, and you get access to all my programs, right? You get access to Soulmates Forever, Attract Your Soulmate, all of those smaller programs in the background that you can work with. And you also get a live coaching Q&A with me every month. So it's an amazing program, ladies. And for those of you who are single and trying to do it all by yourself, I would really suggest that you go there. And if you are in a relationship and you're married, then I just want to remind you that you don't have to do it alone, you don't have to figure it out alone. You can actually be in a really loving, safe, supportive environment and work on yourself and work on your relationship. And I can't tell you the kind of aha moments and breakthroughs my clients are having. Just yesterday, in the Inner Circle group for married women and women in relationships, we talked about the topic of sex and sensuality. And so many of my clients, You know, they're engaged, they're married, and they found for themselves how closed off they were to their power of being turned on, and how, like, you know, they said they wanted intimacy, but actually they were closed off to it with their man. And, you know, like, there were so many things that came up. You know, I don't like how his teeth look, and I don't like how he dresses when he comes to bed. So, so many little, little things that came up. It's normal for these things to come up. The problem is when these things don't get resolved and they pile up, and you keep quiet, and you don't ask for help, and you don't resolve these problems. That's when, over time, over months, over years, things start to fall off. Attraction falls off. And, you know, those little, little problems that you thought you could solve on your own, they actually pile up and they become bigger. Sex disappears, communication breaks down, attraction disappears, and then you're left wondering, how did I get here? Right? So, before we get to that point, I always tell women, seek the help, especially if you can afford it, especially in such a low-investment program. If you can get this help and you can be supported on your journey, then why wouldn't you do that? Why would you want to be in that ego space of, I want to figure it out myself? you approach a doctor to diagnose you. You don't try to, you know, solve your disease mysteries yourself. So why would you do this with your relationship or your marriage, which is so, so, so precious, right? So you really want to look at the Inner Circle program, ladies. I will make sure my assistant is leaving the link here to that. All right, so that's the Inner Circle group coaching program for single women and for women Women in Relationships. And as I said, it's got 2 workshops active with me every single month for 6 months for you, where I teach you concepts, actively sit with you like this, right, exactly this way in the group. And then of course you get group support, you have an amazing community of women, you have my coaches helping you as well, and you have my programs. And all of that is just $3K. So really a very, very no-brainer. Super affordable, and women love it. My clients love it. They love it. Okay, and of course, there's also the Single to Engaged Mastermind, but that's highly exclusive. Very, very few women I take there, and I work intensively with them for five months. But that is not for everyone. That is really for a very, very serious and motivated woman. But the inner circle is more like this, you know, this soft group. This constant loving support, nurturing, which is not that intensive and that scary, but it teaches you the skills that you need in order to navigate your beautiful, precious, precious relationship. All right, so reach out to me if this is calling you, and I would love to be the one supporting you in your journey of creating your most amazing relationship. And now, let's move on with the next question. All right, so, so many questions. I think I'm gonna take 3, 4 questions more before I call this quits. So, Hi, Sami, so glad to have found you and your beautiful work. I have been embracing my feminine energy and leaning back much more. I no longer initiate dates, but I'm finding myself frustrated by the amount of guys who won't initiate as well. They ask initial questions but don't finalize anything. When a guy isn't stepping up and setting a time for a date and a place, how much hinting from me is too much? So, um, Maeve, you know, this, this, this— I think again, it's like, you know, when men come into our interaction, trying to hint him for a date or trying to get him to ask you out is already not feminine energy. Because feminine energy, you know, when it comes into interaction with, uh, with energy that is not— when it comes into interaction with energy that is not in alignment with it, it just lets it go, right? So it is not your job to coach men into becoming more masculine. It is not your job to help them to, you know, find the strength to ask you for a date if you are being soft, open, feminine, approachable, then it is his job to overcome his fears and actually initiate a date and plan a date. So when you say, how much hinting is too much for me? You don't need to hint anything at all, and you need to believe in the masculine. You need to believe in the empowered masculine that I talk about, again, in Soulmates Forever. So, ladies, Soulmates Forever is the self-study version. It's $397. It's on my website, and my My assistant did already leave the link here. I love the program. Of course I love it, I created it, but I still feel like it's hard to outdo that program. It's so amazing. So I would have to really outdo myself to create another amazing program like that. So it's self-study, it's $397, it's on the website. But Inner Circle is a group coaching live support program from me. So that's where you get to interact with me, get my attention, ask me questions. And of course, Soulmates Forever is included in Inner Circle, so you don't have to buy Soulmates Forever separately if Inner Circle is what you're going for, because Inner Circle includes my programs in the background. It's an amazing, amazing deal. All right, so again, back to Maiv. Maiv, no hinting is required. Empowered men know how to ask a woman out. And if a man is coming into your interaction that is not asking you out, he doesn't want to ask Oh my God! Like, I repeat this again and again and again. It's not that he's scared. It's not that he doesn't know how to do it. When a man feels that level of attraction, he will do it. He knows how to do it. He was born to do it. He has a hunting instinct. So, maybe the men who are coming in your interaction space are not inspired enough, and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It just means that, you know, you need to put yourself out there, and you need to be in your shining light, and The men who are meant for you are going to approach you, are gonna ask you out, right? So, and it also helps to know that until there is a date, time, and place, there is no date. So a man saying, let's meet for dinner, you can be like, yeah, okay. Unless there's a date, time, and place, there is no date, right? So this is something also I repeat over and over again. You basically don't want to give your emotional energy to people who don't know how to step up, okay? You don't want to give your emotional energy. You just want to let them slide off your experience and not notice them too much, because you're so focused on noticing the men that are capable and willing to give you what you desire and deserve. All right? So, I hope that was helpful. Now, the next question is from Esther. Esther says that she will try to be brief and is extremely grateful for this opportunity. Hi, Sami. Her husband, separated now for 3 years, lives in another country and has never showed much interest in our son's life or sends money for our son. I'm in charge of everything, and all he just does is calls every once in a while to know how things are going. I would love for him to be more present in our son's life, calling and visiting, and also I would love for him to be more supportive of our son. him to contribute more to my son's life. Yeah, so how— he earns 6 times more than what I earn, and I don't know how to communicate to him that I would really want him to contribute more to my son's life. And I know it seems just telling him something sweetly, but I cannot use the sandwich tool that you've given. So, ma'am, forever, as he has never done anything good for us. And if he doesn't like what I tell him, he will just disappear and my son will be heartbroken. Okay, so this is a hard situation to be in. I'm sorry. Who's sending so many angry hearts? Why are you so angry? Are you angry with the man who's never done anything good for you? Oh, let's send this lady love. Let's not be angry with the man. Let's send this beautiful lady love who's asking for support. Okay, so I understand your feelings, Esther, and yet if you are wise and non-emotional about it, which I want you to be non-emotional about it, then you want to— um, who is this person who's sending us angry faces? I think she's just angry with the man. Oh, thank you, Vanessa's sending so many red hearts. Countering it. I love that. Okay, so Esther, you have to understand that even if your man has not done anything good for your son, you have to communicate in a way that he listens and that he understands. Yeah, you have to communicate in a way that he listens and he understands. So if you're going to just be constantly Initiating conversation where you're letting him down, and you're constantly initiating conversation where you are expressing what is not good about him, then you are going to not get any results out of it. I know it feels very hard to use the Sandwich Tool from Soulmates Forever, but Sandwich Tool from Soulmates Forever actually gets you results. Yeah. Actually gets you results. Right? So, talk to him nicely because you want results. Talk to him nicely because you want him to be there for your son, and you're a wise woman, and you know there is nothing left in your marriage that you want to save there. So, you want to be nice, you want to be respectful, and you want to use the sandwich tool. So, think of 1 or 2 good things this man has done in your life. Think of 1 or 2 good things that he has done For your son, right? And use them in the sandwich tool and say, you know what, honey, I— not honey because he's your ex, but you know what, Robert, whatever his name is, I appreciate the role you play in your— in our son's life. I really appreciate the role. Yeah, just ignore the nonsense, ladies. There's always some trolls here and there. It's all right, you are my counter trolls. Thanks for all the hearts and thanks for all the love, I really appreciate it. So you want to, Esther, as I said, focus on the results, focus on getting this man to be there more for your son. So you want to be wise about it, right? So you want to find one or two things you can appreciate about this man, and you want to let him know that you really appreciate it. You want to let him know that you're grateful that he is there and that he interacts with your son and how important you think his presence is in your son's life, how important you think his presence is in your upbringing of your child together. Then you say in a vulnerable way, and I feel lately that I have been struggling with the financial aspect I feel lately that I have been really struggling in supporting our son alone, and I would really appreciate if you could also start stepping in as his dad and helping me financially with bringing him up. Right? So how do you think we can do this? So again, you turn to him for the solutions. You turn to him for asking, how do you think you can do this? Now, I know it is really easy It is really, really easy, ladies, to, you know, be angry with our men. And I think probably he hasn't even done, uh, he hasn't even done this on purpose, you know, like he hasn't done this on purpose. But when you're looking to create a good solution with a man, you are not gonna get it out of hating him, right? You're not gonna get it out of hating him. You are only going to get the good solutions by actually appealing to the good side within him. You're going to get— you want to appeal to the good side in people. You don't want to appeal to their weak side. You don't want to appeal to their incapable side. You want to appeal to their good side. So that's where the Soulmates Forever tool comes in, right? Now, whoever is sending those angry hearts, I just want to give you lots of love. You must be really hurting and really sad. So lots of love, and your hearts are not going to bother— your negative, angry faces are not going to bother us. So if you're a feminine woman who is, uh, you know, preserving your energy, I would really ask you to like give up because it's not gonna work here. We are full of love and full of positivity, so we are not gonna respond to your negative, negative energy, dear Dear, dear, dear troll, and there's so much more positive energy here. So you can carry on, but it's not gonna work. And we send you love because you must be really angry and really hurt, and there must be something in your life that triggers you so badly. Okay, so we send you love and we hope you find peace and lots of love. All right, back to the questions. So Esther, Appeal to the good in your man, appeal to the good in him as a father. He must have done something right. Pick that up, appreciate it, and from that, build. Don't be too emotional about it. Think of the result that you want to get, and remember that my tools will help you get that result. You want to be focused on that result. Okay. Alright, so the last question for today. Let's see, the last question for today is, good day, Sami, and thank you for this golden opportunity to ask you questions. So if a man is really interested in you— Joy, it's Joy's question. Joy says, if a man is really interested in you, Sami, but he has extremely poor oral hygiene, Oh, poor you. If he has extremely poor oral hygiene, like his teeth are not clean and his gums have greenish stuff at the base of them, then how do you tell him that he needs to take care of that without coming across as insulting? Okay, that's such a sweet question because I really want to appreciate you here, Joy, because it— I like the fact that you haven't outruled him. I really like the fact that You are not judging him so harshly. I really like the fact that you're still open and you are coming back to me and asking how you can share this so that he can improve it, so that I can still give him a chance. Now, I really want to appreciate this because I think in the world that we live in today, we are so quick to judge and so quick to reject that I find it admirable that a woman actually gives— still wants to give a man a chance even though he has poor oral hygiene. Because guess what? Poor oral hygiene can be corrected, right? But if someone has bad character, if someone lies, if someone is deceptive, if someone is not a good person, that is really hard to change, right? But poor oral hygiene, we can just get, you know, a dentist, a nice lovely dentist, and they can make the teeth clean again. So what we need is the cleanness of the soul. What we need is cleanness of character. So, if a man's energy is coming towards you and he's treating you so well, I love the fact that you are being so kind and so open about it. I really want to acknowledge it because I find it inspiring. Joy, the answer here is to say something, again, like I teach with the Sandwich Tool in Soulmates Forever, to tell him something nice about himself, like, I think you're hot, or something like that. Hey, Robert. Hey, Robert. Robert is our model here. Hey Robert, I think you're hot and would you please take care of your teeth a bit more because I think it's gonna make you so much hotter. It's gonna make you so much hotter. There is no way we can't make him feel a little bad because this is something that is there and the moment you say anything, no matter how nicely you wrap it, he will recognize that it's about his teeth, but that's fine. That's fine. When a man really likes you, he'll just He'll not take it personally. He will actually just go to the dentist, get it corrected, and he will, yeah, he will just do it for you because he wants to make you happy, right? He cares about you, right? So what you want to do is to say it in the most loving way possible. So make sure you compliment him, tell him he's hot, tell him you think he's amazing, and then after that, just Very mildly, can you take care of your teeth a bit? Because it's gonna make you so much more hotter for me. It's gonna make you so much hotter for me. So that's how you wanna talk, because of course you don't wanna hurt the good soul, but at the same time, if it's really pissing you off, you also wanna communicate it. And as I said before, I think this is really, really admirable that you don't reject the man and you're not judgmental about it. and you actually approach it, approach me and ask for advice. I think this is amazing. All right, so the absolutely last question of today is from my dear Katya, who's also from my Leap Into Love program, and she's written a really sweet letter where she sent me 3 questions. And she said, Dear Sami, I have 3 questions, pardon my greediness. But Katya, I'm gonna take one of them just to be fair to everyone, and I'm gonna to take your first question, which is about— I know— so here's what Katya is saying. Katya is saying that, I know that when a man is clearly not showing interest and never initiates contact with you, you should keep a total silence on the air. However, on a deep gut level, I know that there is an emotional connection existing between me and one particular man. I also know that this man is fighting his own demons that make him unavailable to me right now. Am I doing it right to be staying silent, or should I give him some— keep some kind of contact with him, sending him once a month something light? The last advice was given by another relationship expert during a short session that we had. Okay, so Katya, I understand that you feel a really strong pull towards this man, okay? And I also see that you, you trust your intuition that there is some, you know, connection there, some attraction there. Now, the only problem that I have with you initiating contact here is that you can't— you, you know, you can initiate that contact, you'll probably get one response back And then things can just still be the same. And then 1 month later, you'll probably come back to me and say, Sami, nothing is happening. Should I send him another light text? Right? So basically, men do what they want to do. Men do what they want to do. Men do what they want to do. And if he's not texting, and if he's not calling, and if he's not initiating, it's because he doesn't want to. Now, he may have his reasons. It doesn't make him a bad person. He may have his reasons. It doesn't make him a bad person. But you have no idea how many other women are there on his phone doing the same thing, sending him something light, sending him a text, and just being present in his life. And you definitely don't want to be one of those women, because attractive men, confident men, men who have a lot of things going on in their lives, they have a lot of those women who are sending them those light things, and they have a lot of those women who are on their text, on their text and their inbox, right? So Katya, if I, if I tell you to actually reach out to him and send him something light, I think you will be again one of those women in his life, right? Because your power as a woman doesn't lie in reaching out to a man. Your power as a woman lies in you actually being the one he reaches out to, you being the woman he goes for. That's where the dream girl's power lies. That's where the high-value woman's power lies. I want you to be that woman in his life. If there is a connection, I want you to trust him that when his demons are sorted and he has worked through them, he will come back to you. He will come back to you, but I want you to be the dream girl in his life. I don't want you to be the chaser in his life. I don't want you to be the one of 100 women who are sitting on his text inbox and just giving him a hint that they are still there and they are still interested. I want you to be the dream girl. I want you to be the woman that he reaches out to when he is ready. So I would not advise reaching out to him. I think you deserve much more. And I would really see, you know, how you can, you know, bring other men into your experience so that they capture your heart and this man slowly fades out. If he's not ready, he will fade out anyway. And if he wants to come back, well, life is long. And let, uh, Joy is saying in the comments, Sami, the angry faces on this live stream remind me of a message from a pastor New level, new devil. You must be doing something right, Sami, that you are getting this hater. Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you, thank you. I know, I'm surprised. I've actually got a lot of love in my community, so I'm surprised by this hater. But I think, I think Facebook trolls will figure out who the troll is, and I really appreciate the love. Thank you so much, everyone. So, Katya, I hope that was helpful. Ladies, it has been an absolute pleasure. I've actually lost track of time. I think it's almost over an hour that we've been talking. So, I hope this was helpful for everyone. Make sure you reach out to me if you want to join me on the Inner Circle Group Coaching Program. Remember, we have a separate program for women in— single women, and we have a separate program for women in committed relationships and married women. It's very affordable, and it's something that, you know, we also offer installments. So just reach out. It's €3,000 one-time payment, or you can pay, I think, €300 a month or something and join. So it's— the installments are there. So reach out, and I hope this was helpful. And if this was helpful, I really want to hear from you in the comments because I'll be more than happy to do more of these for all of you. Alright, so lots of love, lots of love. Know you are amazing, you always will be, and I wish you all the success and all the happiness in your love lives that you all deserve. So Mariana is asking, how long is the— is the, um, how long is the program Inner Circle? So Mariana, it's an evergreen program. We will keep supporting people. People who join get 6 months of life support with me, and as I said, I teach live like this on the group, and you get my coach's support on Thursdays, and you get all my programs in the background. Okay, so that's the Inner Circle program. And thank you so much for your love, and thank you so much for joining me. And I hope this was helpful and shed light on your issues, on your questions. If you're watching the replay, make sure you Leave a comment and let me know this was helpful, and I'll be more than happy to come back and do this when I have time in my schedule. I love you all back, right back. So thank you for so much love, and be abundant and be loved. Take care until next time. Bye! And bye, troll! Bye, troll! Bye-bye, everyone! Bye!