In a segment of ITV’s This Morning, dating expert and relationship coach Sami Wunder discusses her "Get the Ring" methodology, which promises a marriage proposal within 90 days if clients follow her rules. Wunder shares her personal backstory—once a high‑achieving woman who struggled with ghosting and uncommitted partners—before describing how she transformed her love life and now helps over 1,300 clients achieve healthy marriages. The core of her approach is to be upfront about wanting marriage from the first date, to ask direct questions about a partner’s intentions, and to evaluate consistency in actions, communication, and stress handling. She advises against becoming exclusive or engaging in physical intimacy too quickly, recommending a minimum 90‑day vetting period to avoid years of unproductive relationships. Wunder emphasizes that these principles apply to all genders and relationship types, focusing on building emotional connection and soul compatibility before physical intimacy. The interview reinforces her confidence in the method, citing statistics and personal success, while offering practical, conversational advice for viewers seeking long‑term commitment.
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Oh, welcome back to your This Morning. Now, it's National Proposal Day. What's that? Yes, it's National Proposal Day today. But what if we told you that going exclusive with your partner, being intimate, and even moving in together are some of the worst things that can happen if you want him to get on one knee?
What? Yeah. Well, that's exactly what our next guest says. Sami Wunder is a dating expert and relationship coach who's successfully helped over 1,000 couples get engaged, and she's joining us now to share her unique advice. Welcome, Sami.
Yeah, welcome.
Nice to have you with us. Thank you. Sami, how'd you get into this? How'd you become a relationship coach?
Well, I was that woman myself, and I was— on paper, everything looked perfect. I was well accomplished. I had a master's degree. I was a kind person. And all I really wanted was to experience love, commitment, and family. Yeah. And in reality, my love life looked like a complete disaster, and I was just getting ghosted, heartbroken. And men just wouldn't commit. And I couldn't understand why. And it was the realization that I didn't have to work harder or be more impressive as a woman, but instead I had to understand how connection and attraction and commitment actually work. And that was so transformative for me that I attracted my incredible husband of now 13 years. Congratulations. We have 2 beautiful boys. Nice. But it's not just that it worked for me. My methodology has also helped 1,300+ of my clients attract healthy, happy marriages and proposals. So we know it's working.
So those are incredible statistics. Aye. That's wonderful. So you propose that in— if I come to you and I need your help, you propose in 90 days, that's a guarantee, 90 days roughly, if I stick to the rules, that I will have a proposal within 90 days.
Exactly. So, and we have the stats to prove it. So what we really wanna understand is this is not about pushing for marriage in 90 days. This is about making sure that you're not spending 5 years, sometimes even 10 years, with a partner who never had the intention of marrying you in the first place.
Wow. This is deep. So this, so you could be in a happy relationship. However, you can note, you're noticing it's not going forward. They're not giving you a ring. You know, it's not pushing forward. So you can notice that. So what can we do about it in order for that to stop?
I think what's most important is to understand that if you are somebody who is looking for the forever commitment, the ring, I'm called the Get the Ring Coach, then the most important thing is to be upfront about it and honest with yourself, and then date with discernment. and actually look for people who are looking for something similar. So the more—
When do you open up on that? Like first date?
So you don't have to say, I wanna marry you, but you're allowed to say, I am ultimately with the right person looking for marriage, family, and forever commitment.
On the first date?
Absolutely.
Holy moly.
And if it scares men, if it scares people, I mean, this works for all kinds— They're not the one? They're not the one.
They're not the one.
This is about being honest.
It's the first date.
Absolutely.
I
should be like, You think that— is that too overwhelming for you? 100%. If I just say— it's like me saying I want to have children. I'm not saying I necessarily want to have it with you.
I know, but I'm thinking she's going there immediately. So I just want to get to know someone a bit better before that happens. But let's talk you through some of your MO. OK, skipping the girlfriend stage. What does that mean?
So skipping the girlfriend stage is simply about understanding that you don't have to be test-driven for years in order for a man to make up his mind that he wants to propose to you. So I have a methodology where first and foremost, you wanna check for intention. So that means even if as a conversation on a first dating app or on the first date, you wanna say, what are you looking for? And you wanna hear closely what the person says. Yes. If they say something like, oh, I'm just looking for something casual. A little bit of fun. A little bit of fun, looking to have a good time. I'm not ready for something serious. I'm just coming out of a long-term relationship or a heavy divorce. you wanna listen to that. Okay. And you wanna take it at face value. I think a lot of women think they're gonna be the exception and they're gonna somehow change someone's mind.
Which is interesting, 'cause that's not the guy's fault, right? That's the thing. Absolutely.
I really believe that people are honest if you are brave enough to ask the right questions. Yeah. And then the third thing you really wanna do is you wanna check for consistency in action. Because anyone can sweet lip service you and tell you, I'm looking for the real thing. But then if they are truly intentional about building a connection with you, you'll see consistency. You'll see consistency in communication. You'll see consistency in asking you out. They're not gonna leave you guessing.
But Sami, that works both ways, doesn't it? Because the other, the flip side to that is, when you get to know someone, you're a little bit more standoffish when you first get to meet them, but as you get to know them over a couple of dates, then you start to be, your perceptions or your intentions might change. That's allowed.
I mean, everything I speak would apply both to men and women and to even in same-sex relationships, because it's about showing up with intention. This is what this is about. You see, when there's just feelings and attraction, there's not always structure to it. But if you are looking for something serious, you will show up with more structure and intention and create an intentional connection with somebody. And What's more important, not just to observe their actions, but also to observe them, how they handle stress, how they handle anger, how they handle a hard day. And you need all of that information. This is why I say don't get exclusive too quickly. So I say at least give it 90 days before you say yes to exclusivity, because you'll see so many women who become exclusive fast. Yeah. Date 3, date 4, They're attractive. They start playing girlfriend and they stay girlfriend for years and it never turns into a marriage. And so I say, do the hard work before, vet hard before. 90 days at least, you know, if somebody is showing up with consistency, with effort, you know, you've got a real thing going. And also what's important is to avoid getting Into intimacy too quickly.
Oh, come on, Sami. We all love a bit of that, don't we?
I didn't hear what you said.
We love it. Avoid getting into intimacy too quickly.
Oh. So you don't think we should even go there with that situation?
I mean, not all the way. I wouldn't recommend it. Ooh. And that's because—
We're in 2026 now.
I know, right? I mean, if it's giving you the results you want, of course, go for it. But I'm speaking to women who want that forever commitment, but they're not— their current process is not working for them. And so what really happens is before you give the goodies, you really wanna make sure there's emotional connection because that is what's gonna give you a meaningful connection, not just, you know, acting impulsively on physical attraction, which let's face it, is actually not that hard to find between 2 attractive people. So when you have 2 attractive people, Regardless of what kind of relationship it is, you know, physical attraction is easier to have. What is harder is connection emotionally. Do I care about you? Do you care about me?
I get that.
What if you don't want to get married? Do you still go by the same principles? It means you'll be, you know, a bit dry down there, innit? Do you know what I mean?
Well, you can take care of yourself.
That's very true. That is very, very true.
And it's not forever. It's not a forever no physical intimacy jail. It's really about making sure that before you jump into bed with someone, there's a real connection there. So it's not just, oh, she's hot. Yeah. It's also that, wow, I like this girl. I like her soul. I like what she represents. I'm interested in who she is as a person. That's what we're looking to achieve.
And that partner will then work for it and want to marry you eventually.
There is another layer to this, which is the Neil Gorfan speech. So—
We've run out of time. Oh
gosh, I wish we could speak about this all day long.
But we can't. But thank you, Sami. We need to know about some weather. Thank you though, Sami.
